There comes times in living that transform us, and all we can do is chose how we are changed. Do we rise up and accept the warrior spirit, or not? For the pain comes... ready or not, the grief is absolute, the old self is burned clear away and the new self steps onwards. And all we can do is to beware that this transformation hurts, that it comes at a cost no matter the path we chose.

In the half-light of the corridor, Batuk looked like the shadow he had become. He has stormed out of the room, drenched in blood, hurt and disgust, but the moment he came out, all these emotions converged into one... The feeling of first heartbreak. He sank down on the floor, right beside the closed door, hunching on the empty shoe-rack, his face covered in his palms, his soul crying! He cried less for the rejection, and more for his naivety, for he had placed his lover in the highest pedestal, and had thought the bond to be unbreakable. But, after some unmeasured minutes, when he saw Candice walking out of the door, dressed in perfection, her scarf and hat in place, he compared her with his broken state. She hadn't even looked at him, not even once, and as Batuk saw her leaving, vanishing behind the corridor walls, he felt the noise of his heart shattering into fragments more numerous than the stars. For a minute, he wanted to beg, plead, get down on his knees and tell her that their life here had meaning, that their love had meaning, but he knew that face... It was the one he wears when his ears were closed and his mind has put up barriers to all new information. And hence he knew that no matter what he said it will only push her further away... 
But she was already far, far from him, his first love, and he already felt himself in transition to become a person he never wanted to be! The bitterness was rising like bile into his mouth and when he heard a voice calling him, he just looked up blankly with that bitterness in him, for he felt no reason to swallow it anymore.

"Choto Zamindar Babu," Bhargavi was standing infront of him, her face had a fearful expression, she fidgeted her fingers and swallowed once before speaking again.
"Wo... Um... Food... Um..." She swallowed again. "We're hungry."

Batuk didn't respond, instead he kept on looking blankly at her face, his own face was painted with blood and tears, giving him a dreadful appearence in that shadowed darkness.

"So?" He asked plainly, his eyes fixated on the simple check saree she wore and the two neat braids appeared to be Medusa's locks to him, his mind wondering if this innocent looking girl would someday break someone's heart this cruelly or not, and Bhargavi looked away.

"Um... How to... I mean, whom to ask?"

"No one!" Batuk replied coldly, his mind brewing a sudden hatred towards her, picturing her gender to be an accomplice of the one who had just left him tattered.

Bhargavi was still standing, and Batuk suddenly couldn't stand her anymore. All his pain had somehow channelised into hatred and all those hatred shot out like sharp piercing poison arrows at the young innocent girl standing in front.

"What do you want now?" He suddenly got up and leaned forward, before grabbing her shoulders and shaking her violently. He screamed at her on top of his voice, now breaking in an over-rush of adrenaline, making her tremble with terror and shock.
"Why don't you eat my head if you're that starved?" His screams grew louder, reverberating through the empty corridor, and moments later he saw another feminine figure rushing out from the door nearby, sprinting towards them to rescue the young girl.

"Bhaggu...!"
Batuk saw Mira, an inexplicable expression on her face, as she almost cried out at the sight, and banking on this sudden distraction, Bhargavi pushed him away, freeing herself, and she ran towards Mira at once, hugged her tightly.

"Batuk Babu!!" Mira shouted at him, her eyes glaring a strange fire, unfathomable to Batuk, as for a moment he felt absolutely stupified at the suddenness of his own conduct.

Did he just scare a little girl?

He gasped in horror as the terrible realisation dawned on him, he felt his knees shaking, and a warm gush of air escaping his ears.

"I... I...", he swallowed, taking a few steps backwards in denial of the moment, as he shook his head violently and stormed out of the place, leaving the two girl alone in the pale darkness of the nascent night.

"Did he hurt you?" Mira cupped Bhargavi's face and asked her. There was a strong calmness in her voice, mixed with the concern that her motherly eyes reflected.

"No." Bhargavi shook her head.
"He's hurt himself, he was bleeding."

Mira let out a sigh and pulled her to the comfort of her bosom once again.
"I saw it too." She exhaled.

......................................................

Now and again, through the black mass of drifting cloud, came a straggling ray of moonlight, which lit up the expanse, and showed them that the shabby path, that they were at the end of a dense mass of hibiscus and rose trees. As the drizzle had started, Anirudh, Bondita and Raimoti had somehow managed to come ashore from the shade of the small boat and began to investigate the surroundings more closely under Satya's guidance. It appeared to them that the place was uninhabited, with no trace of human life around, and amongst the sparse old thatched foundations they had passed, there were only hopeless ruins, failing to offer them with a shelter.

"How long?" Raimoti had crutched on Bondita's shoulder, limping her tired travel weary body, and Satya walked infront, leading them. Anirudh was behind, guarding the women, and Raimoti's painful groan made them stop.

"There might still be a standing house, though in ruins, and we could find some sort of shelter for a while." Satya replied, and Raimoti sank down on the ground.

"Rai!" Bondita gasped at once, seeing her on the verge of tears, and she exchanged a meaningful glance at her husband.
Anirudh nodded and inched forward.

"If I have you permission." He leaned down, and in no time had picked Raimoti up in his strong arms, and she held his neck instinctively." 

Satya had turned around once, eyeing them, as he exhaled softly and continued to skirt the edge of the copse. There was an open ground, with a low wall encircling it, and following this, they presently found an opening. Here the shrubs formed an alley leading up to a square mass of some kind
of ruined building.

"Satya, it won't be safe inside. The roof is unstable."
Anirudh had stopped, with Raimoti in his arms and Bondita beside him, and Satya nodded at him in agreement.

The drizzle hadn't ceased, and drenched in its coldness, Raimoti shivered, her eyes closed and her face shining in the tiny water droplets.

"Shall we camp here?" Satya's voice was low, and keeping down the large bagpack from his shoulder, he eyed the sick woman once again, a sadness veiling his eyes as well.

"I think we should." Anirudh agreed, and called Rai gently.
"Do you think you can sit for a while here? We'll get the camps ready."

The drifting clouds had obscured the moon, and Satya and Anirudh scanned the square ground with their small torches, letting their eyes get acquainted in the vast darkness beyond. The wind must have grown colder, for the women shivered, sitting on a rock, and as the men arranged a palm leaf to sweep the ground, Bondita promptly got up and ran towards them.

"I'll do it," she snatched the leaf stalk from Satya's hand, "Go check on Raimoti, she's in need."

Anirudh was digging up to fix a bamboo pole in the soft earth, and as Satya looked at him, he too nodded in agreement with his wife.

Satya sighed, and pulled out a small medicine box from his bagpack, as he walked towards Raimoti, whose eyes were closed and head resting on a tree trunk.

"Miss Mukherjee." Satya called her gently, as he settled beside her, taking her frail cold hand in his.
"What pains you?"

Raimoti exhaled sharply, and raised her left hand to point towards the wound on her shoulder, her eyes still closed.

"I'll inject you with some antibiotics and painkiller, alright?"

Satya's voice was soothing as his hands already busied themselves in preparing a syringe as stated.
Raimoti flinched her face, and grabbed his arm, her head resting on his shoulder, as Satya slowly punctured her skin with the needles.

"It pains!" Raimoti let out a suppressed cry, and Satya touched her hairline with his lips, in attempts of putting her at ease.

"I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you much since morning", his voice was low, "I'm sorry you had to face all these."

"I chose this", Raimoti groaned, and as Satya got up from the ground and took his place on the rock beside her, she leaned her body against his, letting her head rest on his chest.
"Besides, Anirudh Da did a lot for..."

"But, you aren't Anirudh Da's responsibility Rai."
Satya had cut her mid-sentence, letting out another exhale, and Raimoti squeezed his arms a little.

"Then?" She asked feebly.

"You are my responsibility Rai... Mine alone!"

Raimoti pressed her eyes and swallowed at his words, as she lifted her head from his chest slowly and sat upright cupping her head in her own hands, trying to balance herself.
"But I don't want to Satya... I don't want to be your responsibility. I don't want you to account yourself for my life, or my happiness... or sadness, or anything as such!" She breathed, and Satya felt the sound of her gradually increasing heartbeat now pounding in an unrhythmic pattern.
"I choose this path... in fact, I forced you to take me along, and now, whatever happens to me, my fate, it's all on me... You have no part to play in it Satya... So never blame yourself... not today, not tomorrow... not ever."

"What are you saying Rai? Nothing will happen to you."
Satya tried to touch her face, but she moved away a little, smiling.

"I know... it's probably the morphine in me speaking, but let me get it out Satya." She staggered to speak a little.
"Since the past few days seeing Anirudh Da and Bondita up so close... their bond, their togetherness... I too somehow craved for it. But now, while sitting with you here... like this... Amidst nowhere... I know that I can never have the life that they share." She let out another sigh and Satya looked down, thoughtfully.
"Our story is different Satya." She spoke up again, smiling, "it's not meant to be a fairy tale... and trust me I am not regretting even a bit... Coming with you was the best decision of my life and now even if I die I will..."

Satyakirth didn't let Raimoti complete her sentence as he pulled her towards him, holding her by the back of her neck as he wrapped his arms around her making her bury her face in his chest once again.
"Never you dare speak about death Rai." He pressed her head to his chest.
"We are alive now, at this moment... and this is what it matters... let's live it, so that tomorrow even if death comes we would embrace it happily, not looking behind and regretting that how our life could have been."

Rai looked up and their glistening eyes met.

"Can you promise me this please?"

There was a heart-wrenching urge in Satya's plea, and Raimoti felt her senses warming up, giving in to the emotion that Satya's embrace was offering her, her eyes started to flow, and her lips quivered with emotions unknown to her till then.
"I promise Satya... I'll live," she gluped, "only if you do!"

Satya nodded, and tried to smile.
"Together it is then, life or death, wherever it be."

"Whatever it be"
Raimoti breathed the words after him.

The soft drizzle had taken an interlude, and an unknown bird sang a lonely melancholic song, filling up the air with a heavy sadness, and amidst that gloom, Satya and Rai suddenly sat upright and turned back, hearing Bondita's loud giggles, as they saw Anirudh swinging her up in the air by lifting her from behind.

"The camps are set up."

Anirudh had dropped her at once, as Bondita called out to them with a cheerful glee in her voice.

"See how beautifully these are done!"

Satya too was admiring the camp set up, expertly erected with the thick polythene sheet.

"These are beautiful!"
Raimoti too was smiling, her heart too was touched by the contagious happiness that Anirudh and Bondita reflected.
"Let me guess... A boy scout in school?" Rai raised her eyebrows and Anirudh nodded in agreement.

"I was a Scout lead in high school."
He grinned, and Bondita hung her arms from his neck, partly in pride and partly in awe.

"Aren't you the best!" She murmured softly, pouting a kiss at him, and Anirudh lowered his gaze bashfully.

"Um... Well, the ladies can sleep in one tent and we can be in the other." He picked up a few dry branches from beside and arranged them infront to make a fire.

"And, he's an expert in fishing I've heard, so we aren't starving tonight either." Bondita winked as Satya couldn't help but smile at her innocent boasting.

"Excellent!" Raimoti cheered feebly.
"It's exactly like a picnic... Isn't it!"
She clapped her hand in excitement as Anirudh and Bondita shared a quick glance with each other, their expression changing suddenly from joy to something unfathomable.

"Noo...."
"We don't do picnics..."

They both blurted out together.

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