The clinking sound of metal made my head snap towards the entrance of the house. Disappointment washed over me as I looked away at the bicycle that passed.

It wasn't the postman.

It's been five days since I wrote to Fakir, five days of sitting on the mat, facing the entrance of the house and waiting endlessly.

I watched as Hajara and Adam brawled about an apple, and how they made up afterwards and started playing. Maa Fatima was cooking super while Mama Saratu mirrored my emotionless face. She had been gloomy since she returned from her 'short break in marriage'.

Suddenly I heard a sharp sound coming from outside the house. I hurriedly trudged outside, not bothering to wear my shoes.

Broken glasses were scattered all around and when I looked up at the person slouching against the wall, I flinched.

"Ya Abdulhakeem?"

His eyes were red and bloodshot and he had bruises all over his face and fists, probably from a very recent fight. He looked dirty, like he hadn't showed for days and he smelled like the gutters. He muttered something slowly and when I looked closely, my jaw dropped.

"You're drunk!?"

He quickly tried to compose himself by trying his best to stand straight.

"Are you stupid? If anyone sees you like thiss..." I trailed off looking around for anyone eavesdropping.

I ran back inside without looking suspicious and sneaked out a bottle of warm water.

He was still slouching on the wall murmuring curses when I returned. Without warning, I vigorously splashed water on his face and he quickly stood straight, looking at me with fury.

"Here drink some water and sober up before Baba comes back home to meet you in this state" I said in a hushed voice.

After drinking the whole bottle, I could tell he was back in his senses because he looked ashamed and tensed.

"Go inside, and go straight to your room. If you look suspicious and Maa Fatima finds out you've been drinking, then you'd be in hot soup"

He did exactly as I said and walked inside, straight to his room at the far end of the house. I followed him suit.

I barged into his room and found his sitting on the floor, and his head hung low.

"Why did you drink? Why? You know better that it's Haram and if Baba finds out..."

"I'm not a drunkard Halima!" He cut my lecture. "I..I just had a couple of bottles to relive myself from agony"

"What agony? What exactly made you stoop to the level of alcohol?" I snapped at him with anger in my voice.

"You're still very young Halima, you won't understand" he grumbled and I looked at him with narrowed eyes, trying to read through his facial expressions.

"Money problems?" I asked and he looked away emotionless. "Job? Or was it peer pressure?"

I sat beside him as I continued to guess what his problem was. "Love?" I said out loud and he snapped his head towards me.

"Was it love that made you stoop down to this level? Tell me Ya Abdulhakeem!" I said a little too loudly.

"You don't know anything about love so just leave me alone!" He said, his jaw clenching.

"Tell me! Don't just push me away, I'm not a kid anymore okay? Tell me or else I'll tell baba that you've been drinking!" I spat out while he looked at me with disbelief.

"She's getting married to someone richer" he slowly said after five minutes of silence. "She said she won't marry me and stay in poverty for he rest of her life...I just couldn't take it, so when my friends offered me a drink, I took it, to wash away the feelings of rejection"

I cocked an eye, speculatively looking at my stepbrother with disbelief. "So? There are a lot more girls in this village.."

"Just look at me Halima, I am a failure with nothing but a diploma certificate. Baba refuses to recommend me into the army because he believes I have to get in with my own abilities. I'm nothing, no girl will accept me like this." He looked away before he spoke again. "Besides, it's not about another girl accepting me, it's her, she's special. I love her...."

"I understand...it hurt so much to lose someone you love.." I said and he nodded absentmindedly before his head snapped at my direction.

The look he had on his face made me shiver and I stood up and tried to leave but he held me back. "Spill" he asked looking directly at me.

"Spill what?" I asked with a small laugh.

If there was something I found extremely hard to do was telling a lie or keeping a secret.

How was I supposed to tell my brother that I once fell so deeply in love with someone.

He glared at me as if he wanted to eat me alive and I gulped.

"F..Fakir" I spluttered.

"Fakir? The tall and fair?" I nodded sheepishly.

"If I don't separate his body from his head today, then you change my name" he huffed, making his way out of his room but I stopped him.

"It's no use, he doesn't stay in this village anymore"

"You're so naive Halima, Fakir never looked innocent to me, he looked like a total player"

"I know now...I know"

And that is how I spent the next hour telling him everything.   I told him about the final letter.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I didn't find the right time"

Silence lurked around us until I voiced out my thoughts.

"Why don't you marry Luba!" I exclaimed when he used his hand to hit my head.

"Shut up...she looks like a cat with her hazel eyes" he said frowning his face a bit. I laughed

I felt better, so much better after telling Ya Abdulhakeem about everything.

Even though I knew it ws stupid of me to, deep down in my heart, I still waited for Fakir's letter.

***

So finally! After decades, I updated🙈

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Husnah Hussain✍🏼💋