Looking back, these three months have been the happiest days of my life. Adhitya has been the radiance in my otherwise dull life. And he continues to do so. But what is my relationship with him? Yes, he keeps me happy always. He makes me laugh when I am sad. He shares my joys and sorrows. He supports me in my singing, appreciates and criticizes my poems. He helps me whenever needed. He fights, too, but makes up for it soon and forgets the incident. He is what I term as 'perfect boy'. Yes, he too has his imperfections. He has unknowingly hurt me quite a number of times and he has been stubborn too. But I like him above all his faults. My heart can easily accept him as he is adjustable too. However, what do I term him as? What is he? He isn't a mere friend. It's too low a position to give him. He isn't a best friend too. He has crossed the boundaries of being a close friend. And he isn't my lover too. I cannot give him that position which has already been bagged by Manohar. Then, what is he? Where is our relationship leading us to? I know that we are just convincing ourselves to be best friends. But our hearts know that we are beyond that. We hang somewhere between friendship and love. Our relationship is unnamable.

Aishwarya closed the sap green diary on which had she had been penning those lines. It was another diary in which she used to write down her thoughts. She had been regularly updating about her relationship with Adhitya and the experiences they had had. She was able to vent out her pent up feelings through the words. That way she regained her peace of mind, away from the stressful thoughts. She had even written about Manohar and his silly quarrels which would snatch away her happiness temporarily.

"Aishu!" She heard her mom yell from the kitchen.

"Coming!" she shouted back.

She ran to the kitchen and stood beside her mom.

"Haven't you met Manohar recently?" Latha asked, while sautéing the potato fry in the pan. The steam from the pan was making Aishwarya sweat.

"No, Amma, I haven't. Why?" She wondered why her mom had popped the question in the most unusual time.

"That I should ask you. Why aren't you meeting him frequently these days? He had visited our house yesterday when you had gone to office. It seems that you had promised him to meet often, but failed to stick to it. He also added that you are providing lame reasons for not meeting him. What's happening with you?"

Aishwarya's heart beats began racing faster. She had never expected her mom to delve into her personal issues and question about her meeting with Manohar.

"Those are not lame reasons, Amma. I am really very busy with my work. That's why. You very well know that I am bringing home some files to work. Then how can I meet him in the evenings?" She spoke that while gulping some saliva.

"You must know to balance both, Aishu. If you behave like this after getting married, then I am sure that he would tell you not to work. Don't give way for that. Make time for him."

Aishwarya felt a lump in her throat as she heard her mom's words. 'Even if I spend enough time with him, he'd tell me not to work after marriage. How can I tell Amma that we had an argument over this? 'She thought.

"Okay, Amma. I will meet him today." She finished with a smile. Latha, too, returned the smile and went back to making chapathis.

*****

"That's fine. But why did you complain about all these to Amma, Mano? Can't it stay as personal between us? You could've sent me a telegram. I would have met you at least by hook or crook. And really I was hell busy with my work." Aishwarya gesticulated while mouthing those words.

"Okay, okay, I am really sorry. Hereafter, I won't take our issues to your mom. I just shared my frustration with her. That's it," stated a kurta-clad Manohar.

"You shouldn't, Mano. Let it be personal between us. Okay, come let's have a few bajjis from that stall." She pointed to the tea stall where she had befriended the sundal boy and his mother.

"I will come, provided you pay for the bajjis," replied Manohar blankly.

"What?!" Aishwarya was taken aback.

"Yes, I don't have money with me now."

"Not even single paisa?"

"Yeah, I don't. I spent everything. It's end of the month, Aishu. How can you expect me to have money?"

"You always do this, Mano. We meet only at the end of the month and you wouldn't have money. I have to pay all the time. And mind it. I am not into a full-fledged job like you. I am just interning with a minimal stipend. How can you expect that I might have money with me always?" She was extremely cross with him. This was the fourth time Manohar hadn't got any money with him.

She added, "Every girl would like her lover to pamper her by buying things for her. She would expect him to take the initiative in anything. But you aren't like that. Anyway, I don't expect you to buy things for me always. I don't ask for them too. But you haven't done anything exclusively for me. Even during our meetings, it is I who pay even for these simple bajjis and tea."

"Aishu, calm down! What has got into you nowadays? You're picking up fights even for silly things." Manohar's raspy voice permeated through the sea breeze.

"These are not silly things, Manohar. That day, you told me to stop going to work after marriage. And now, you are repeating the same mistake that you have been committing for ages....."

"That 'going to work after marriage' problem has been solved, Aishu. Why are you pulling that now?"

"Yeah, it got solved after I had thrown tantrums about it. You didn't understand me naturally."

"What the hell is happening with you, Aishu?" Manohar barked.

Immediately, Aishwarya went into her crying mode. Tears flew from her eyes and she spoke through them, "You're making me cry, Mano. Yes, I accept that you aren't up to my expectations. Nobody can completely fulfill a partner's expectations. But you aren't even near to what I have thought about you. You don't even know how to keep me happy. Day by day you're proving to be someone else. You're making me cry, Mano."

Manohar, too, had tears in his eyes. 'Oh my god! How can I calm her down? She is crying because of me. I am responsible. I cannot let her cry like this. How come every time I meet her something bad happens between us?'

'Aishu, please don't cry." His voice broke. Aishwarya looked up. She was shocked to see him crying.

"Hey, Mano...." She moved closer to him and wiped his tears with her handkerchief.

"No, I am bad, Aishu. I am very bad. I make you cry all the time. I don't keep you happy. And every time I meet, I become responsible for the quarrels that happen between us. A mere sorry cannot suffice you. I don't know what to do." Another bout of tears streamed down from his eyes.

"Aiyo, I didn't mean that you're bad, Mano. I am just pointing out where you go wrong. You're a gem, Mano."

Manohar's heart softened on hearing her words. "I am infinite times sorry, Aishu. Forgive me. I won't repeat this again. And I genuinely say that you must go to work after marriage. It's just not because you had thrown tantrums. I too feel that you must follow your dreams and go to work. And hereafter, I will never make you cry over anything. Yes, I know that I don't do anything for you. But I'll make up for it, Aishu. Please, give me another chance. Don't leave me and go...."

"Mano, I will never leave you. I have promised you, remember?"

Finally, after the long ordeal, Manohar smiled. A faint smile appeared on Aishwarya's lips too. Soon they began chatting about other things, forgetting their quarrel. They ended their meeting with an 'I love you". But to either of them, it didn't sound sweet as it had the days before.

*****

Adhitya placed his bag on the desk and peeped into Aishwarya's cabin to greet her. But it was empty.

'Strange! She would be always the early bird. What happened today?' He wondered and sat down.

Aishwarya arrived half-an-hour later. Placing her handbag on her desk, she turned to Adhitya's cabin and waved at him.

"What happened? Why are you late?"

"I had overslept." Her reply was rather blunt.

"How? You're punctual and always on time. How did you miss today?" He looked into her eyes and found them to be puffed. Immediately he added, "Have you been crying?"

'My goodness! I cannot hide anything from this boy. He can easily find out if I am happy or sad. From where did you bring him into my life, God? Now he wouldn't leave me without an explanation. He will dig out the entire truth.'

"Yes, a little bit."

An eerie silence engulfed Adhitya. He moved over to her cabin with his chair and seated beside her.

"You know that I need an explanation." He stated.

"Well, I am going to tell you that."

Saying so, Aishwarya began the narration of her sorrowful evening. Starting from the meeting with Manohar till her night in tears, she explained every morsel of it. Adhitya listened patiently. After she finished, she looked at him with hope. She wished that he would provide some insight into her issues.

"Who's he to make you cry, Aishu?" That was the first question which he asked.

"He is my lover."

"If he is your lover, does he have the right to make you cry?"

"I don't know."

Adhitya banged his fist on the desk. As a reaction, there was a mild gasp from Aishwarya.

"Why are you hurting yourself for my problems, Adhi?"

"I am not hurting myself. I imagined that desk to be Manohar and punched him on his face."

"Why is that so?"

"Look! Nobody has the right to make you cry. Manohar doesn't deserve your tears, Aishu. If he makes you cry, he isn't the one for you. Leave him."

"How can you say that, Adhi? We aren't broad-minded enough to leave the ones we love. It isn't as easy as you think. Suppose you have a girlfriend. Will you leave her just because she made you cry once or twice?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"Then how can you expect me to do that?"

"But he always makes you cry, Aishu. This isn't the first or second time you're complaining about it."

"No, he doesn't. Maybe it is I who open my floodgates even for silly reasons. I must change myself."

"You needn't change yourself for anyone. Trust me, if I was in Manohar's place, I would have accepted you as yourself. And I would never make you cry." Adhitya's voice shook as he uttered the last two lines.

Aishwarya felt heavy at heart. 'Please, Adhi, don't nurture feelings for me. Let we stay like this.'

"I am sorry if I've spoken anything wrong." He apologized, unable to comprehend her silent reaction.

"Hey, not at all. He will change, Adhi. Don't worry. He pleaded me to give him a second chance. He's afraid of losing me. Nevertheless, I will never leave him."

Adhitya's heart somersaulted with pain as he heard those. He felt a pit inside his stomach. He could not speak anything more. He stood up abruptly.

"I have some important work to do. Rajesh sir told me to complete soon. Just now remembered it." Then he moved on to his cabin.

And I would never make you cry. His words resonated inside her heart throughout the entire day.

*****

"Merry Christmas!" All the employees of Unity Insurance Company Ltd greeted each other as soon as they entered the office. 

"Merry Christmas!" Adhitya wished Aishwarya and took a chair beside her.

"Thank you. Wish you the same."

"Thank you."

They smiled at each other.

"Here take this!" He handed over a neatly wrapped gift box to her.

"What is this?!" She grabbed it intriguingly.

He cleared his throat and spoke in a modulated voice, "I am your Santa Claus. We wish you a Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!" He began singing.

"Aiyo, stop it, Adhi. You sing badly."

Adhitya's face dropped. "But you've said that my voice is sweet." He pouted like a baby.

"Ha ha. I was just joking. Yes, you sing badly, yet your voice is sweet to me."

He grinned widely and prompted her to open the gift. She unwrapped it carefully. Opening the box, she took out an elegant looking Allwyn watch. It had a gold dial with black hands ticking around it. A chocolate colour leather strap completed it.

"Wowwww!" She exclaimed, marvelling at the beauty of the watch.

"That day, your previous watch broke. Remember? You were swinging your hands and it fell down and the dial smashed to pieces. So I thought I should buy you a new one as a Christmas gift."

"How sweet of you, Adhi! Actually you deserve a hug. But people over here will cast nasty looks at us. And also it is against my girlish conscience to embrace you. So...hmmm...take this!" She held out a lunch box at him.

"What's there in this?"

"Open and see."

Adhitya lifted the lid and was met with a delicious chocolate cake whipped with vanilla cream.

"Oh my god! Mouth-watering it is." He sliced a huge piece of cake and gobbled it up.

"Hmmmmm yummyyyyy! Did you prepare this?"

"Yes, Adhi, I prepared it especially for you!" She shrieked.

"Thank you sooooo much. By the way, it tastes very sweet. Did you think about me while preparing it?" He winked at her.

"No. I was thinking about Manohar," she said.

Right after a happy moment, her reply was a blow to him.

**********