Phil slid the My Hero Acadamia book across the table with a small smile on his face. The smile just turned into a frown as Dan didn't make any effort to grab it or hand him the Death Note book. "Don't you have it?" He asked, watching as Dan's face fell.

"L-Lost it." Dan was fiddling with his fingers, refusing to meet the other's eyes in case he noticed something was wrong.

"Oh. That's okay. I'll just buy it myself. No worries."

Dan nodded.

-

"Did he give you that?" Ethan said, glaring at the book in Dan's hands like it was an offensive weapon. Dan shook his head, hugging it to his chest like he was protecting it with his life. "You shouldn't lie." Dan let out a little cry as Ethan snatched it out of his hand. "Remember what I said yesterday?"

Dan nodded, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his head into them. He was trying to convince himself he was safe and okay but Ethan's next words implied the opposite.

"He'll never love you again." Ethan whispered into Dan's ear and the words sent pain through Dan's chest. "No one loves you but me. Do you love me?"

Dan nodded, his body trembling violently.

"Look at me and say it?"

Dan hesitantly looked up, meeting Ethan's eyes and murmuring, "I l-love you."

"Good," Ethan's voice was softer now; it was even a little shaky as if he was upset. "Because sometimes I feel like you don't love me... And you're the only thing keeping me alive at the moment. If you ever left, I'd have nothing to live for."

Dan's eyes widened as he looked down at his arm. He remembered how what it was like when he was feeling that low and he never ever wished to make Ethan feel like that. He had to make him happy.

Standing up, Dan silently handed an Xbox controller to Ethan and kept one himself. They played a game like nothing had happened.

-

Dan searched everywhere for Phil's book whilst Ethan was showering. He pulled all the pillows off of the bed, searched the entire book case and lifted all the things off of the floor. He even went through Ethan's own backpack but he couldn't find it anywhere. He soon gave up and wandered downstairs and ate breakfast, trying to think of an excuse as to why he hadn't got Phil's book anymore.

He wished he could be like the characters in My Hero Academia. Strong, heroic and brave. Instead he was weak, scared and cowardly.

-

"L-Lost it." Dan found himself murmuring again when Phil asked about the absence of his book. Dan watched as his face fell slightly, obviously hurt.

"You lose everything, don't you?" Phil was only teasing but Dan felt his heart start beating faster. Phil must have noticed Dan tense up because his face softened and he gently said, "I was only joking..." How could Dan trust him though? Everyone he had ever trusted had stabbed him in the back and made him feel like the worst person on the planet.

"S-Sorry." Dan put his head into his hands, trying so hard to hold in all the tears. If he broke down in front of Phil, he might make fun of him. It wasn't his character but he didn't think Ethan was like that either and he was so so wrong.

"Dan... What's wrong? Has something happened? Is it your parents?" Dan shook his head. He didn't realise he was scratching his arm again until Phil lightly pulled his hand away from his arm. "What's happened?"

"C-Can't." Dan's voice was shaking and he was so scared that, if he tried to say another word, it would open the flood gates.

"Can't what? Can't talk?" Dan nodded so Phil reached into his backpack and took out a piece of paper and a pen. "Can you write?"

I'm just not very happy at the moment. There's nothing for you to worry about.

Dan's writing was messier than usual because of how much he was trembling. Phil furrowed his eyebrows but didn't press the boy further: he had Ethan to be there for him now. He didn't need Phil.

But he really did.

I'm so sorry