I knock on the door a little too quietly, almost like I don't want him to hear. And maybe I don't. But it's irrelevant because the door swings open before I can make up my mind. Fuck.

"Hey," Dad's surprise is obvious. He clears his throat and he looks as uncomfortable as I do. Carbon copies, right?

"I need to talk to you,." I scratch the back of my neck self-consciously.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I wasn't even going to say anything.

After my talk with Uncle Cameron, I headed back in the house and tried to brush off everything he told me. It was too much. Olivia thought my reaction was about her and pulled me aside to make sure I wasn't tapping out of our relationship until I kissed the fuck out of her and told her to shut up. She did.

Then we all had dinner and I couldn't find it in me to look anyone in the eye. Olivia sat beside me and held my hand under the table the whole time though I could tell she was still concerned. I finally fessed up what Uncle Cameron told me and she agreed—I needed to fix shit with Dad. When I saw him go upstairs to quickly check on some things for his gym I saw an opportunity and pounced. Problem is I didn't think of what the fuck to say which brings me to now, shuffling in his rom and drawing up blank after blank.

"What's going on?" Dad asks after a solid minute of silence.

I sit on the bed and stare at him dead-on. "You were arrested."

A frown turns his mouth down. "Cameron. He told you, didn't he?"

I shrug. He blows out a breath and grabs his desk chair, pulling it away from the desk and sitting down in front of me. My eyes narrow. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"No." His bluntness reminds me of my own. "No reason to."

"You really believe that?"

"Of course. My parents were assholes, Lucas. They didn't even do the bare minimum for me and acted as if I owed them something for being parents. It was their job to be parents just like it's my job to be your father. What I do for you is not up for debate. It's my responsibility and you owe me nothing."

My eyes shift downward. I don't know what to say.

"That also means I make choices you won't always agree with and that's not up for debate either," He says it firmly but with no malice. "I know you didn't like that I hid your mother's cancer from you. I know you didn't like that I made you go to school instead of skipping out. I know I've done a lot of fucking things that have pissed you off but I won't take any of it back. I did these things because it was my job to do them. Whether you're willing to understand that or not is up to you."

I smile briefly despite myself. Figures that Dad wouldn't hesitate to lecture my ass even after months of us not speaking. If there's one thing he can't stand it's fake niceties, just like me. We both prefer the truth even when it stings. He won't pretend he's not mad at me and I won't pretend I'm not mad at him.

"Fine," I relent. "I was an asshole. Big surprise. But so were you. It felt like you kept sending Mom half the time to cover your ass instead of just coming to me yourself. Everything she told me about how you felt bad and how you wanted to fix shit...it should have came from you. That means more and you know it."

Dad frowns. "You wouldn't take my calls and—"

"I get that. I'm not saying I didn't make it hard. I'm a class A dick, okay? But, fuck...I kept waiting for you to come to my room and check up on me whenever I came home. I waited for you to corner me and force me to talk to you or some shit. I pushed you away, yeah, but you walked. You're my dad. Why did you walk?"

He looks down but not before I catch his flicker of remorse. A tense silence follows and I'm not sure if it's because Dad doesn't know what to say or doesn't want to say anything at all.

"I have an answer but it's a fucked up one," He finally says. So I was right.

"But is it the truth?" I push.

"Yes."

"Then tell me."

He leans back in his seat, the look on his face telling me that's the last thing he wants to do. Still, he goes on and forces the words out. "When your mother was diagnosed, I fucking swear I could feel myself being ripped in half. A little piece of me died that day and I don't think I've been the same since. You know I'm a cynical asshole but after that day, I genuinely believed the world was out to get me. I wasn't ready for what we had to deal with. The appointments, the chemo, holding Emily while she cried herself to sleep everyday...it ruined me. Flooded me with weakness when I should have been strong instead. She's the one who's suffering, you know?"

He winces and I prepare myself for what's next.

"I'd do anything for you, Lucas. Anything. But when things exploded between us and you pushed me away, I was too tired to find my way back. It humiliates me to say this but I took it as an out. I just felt so fucking exhausted on the inside trying to hold everything together. I did it to you, and Landon, and Lizzie. I did it to all my kids. I was so fucking scared of losing my wife that for a moment I forgot to be a father. Fuck, I hate that I'm even admitting this out loud but it's the truth. I even tried to justify it to myself. I told myself you were too busy being mad at me to even care if I stepped back for a second."

He was right to hesitate telling me all this. It stings like a bitch and I swallow the painful boulder lodged in my throat. "You're a dick, Dad."

"I know." At least he looks as sorry as he says he is. "I know you only pushed me away because you needed me. Fuck, you're so much like me that it's terrifying. Intimidating too, if I'm being honest."

My brows push up. What the hell about me was so intimidating to Dad? He must notice my quizzical expression because he elaborates.

"The thing about being a parent is nothing can prepare you to become one. You can read all the fucking books and listen to all those know-how speeches but it doesn't cover one fucking grain of what the real thing is like. Being a parent means making a series of choices and hoping you've picked the best ones. What's worse is you won't know if you should have done things differently until it's already over. It's a hard enough job but when your son is the smartest asshole who won't budge for anyone, it's even harder."

"Thanks," I mutter sarcastically and Dad's lip twitches before he sobers up again.

"I'm serious. You hold your ground for everything, Lucas. It's like looking in a fucking mirror and that's scary because all I can wonder is if you'll hate me just like I hated my own parents. It's something I didn't want to come to terms with. So I ran."

Hell. My jaw locks when I'm flooded with guilt. Can't blame him for thinking what he's thinking after the year we had.

"I don't hate you," I say quietly. "Fine, there were times I felt hatred toward you but that doesn't mean I stopped needing you for even a second. Your parents abandoned you and you pulled through, Dad. Those assholes were never meant to be in your life. But you haven't been around and look at how my life fell apart. I can't pull through without you. I'm fucking nothing without you so have to show up and do your fucking job for me, okay?"

"Okay," He repeats calmly when my voice cracks. He stands up and forces me to do the same. Then his arms come around me in a hug so solid I feel like I'm motherfucking bleeding out. It's so goddamn hard to breathe past the burning in my chest. I think Dad can tell because he pats my back, hugging me tighter. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere, son. I'm so fucking sorry."

"You should be," I toss back when I start to feel like a pussy. He smacks me upside the head but I take it with a smirk. "I'm sorry too. Didn't realize you couldn't get shit done without me."

He chuckles, shoving me back by the face. "Jesus, an ass-kicking is long overdue."

"Think you could beat me?" I crack my knuckles and his eyes glint.

"I think you're forgetting who the professional fighter is here."

"Retired, old man."

"Asshole."

I give him my middle finger back, deciding that's too much softness for now.

"Men will do everything except say I love you." Mom's voice grabs both our attention and we look at the door where she's standing. There's tears in her eyes even as she's wearing a huge grin, watching us. "Go on, you knuckleheads. Say the words."

I make a face. "I think that much is implied."

"Seriously, baby." Dad's expression is identical to mine.

Mom rolls her eyes. "Say it. Now."

"Fine," I raise a brow and look at Dad. "I love you, father."

He snorts, wrapping an arm around my neck and pulling me in a headlock I can't get out of. "I love you too, you little devil."

I manage to free myself and scowl, pushing my hair back into place. "You know, at this rate you're going to confuse Satan himself."

"Fair enough. He's been out of a job since you were born."

"Bite me."

"I missed this," Mom practically skips over to us and wraps an arm around both our waists, pulling us into her side. She's half our size but she's got us locked into place. "My boys."

Dad smirks down at her. "I'm all man, gorgeous. Need a demonstration?"

"Disgusting," I mutter and detangle myself from them. I don't get far before Mom laughs and pulls me back.

"I love you two," She reminds us, a fresh sheen of tears gathering in her eyes. "Keep loving each other the way I love the both of you, okay?"

Dad and I both bend down to hug her when she stretches her arms out and she wraps them around us, holding tight. I don't know which of us needed it more but when I glance at Dad, he looks as emotional as I feel.

I kiss her forehead, speaking against her hair. "We love you, Mom."

"Wouldn't be here without you, baby," Dad adds.

It's been a long time since our family felt complete. My sigh of relief says it all.

***

"I'm going to kill you!"

That didn't last long.

Tia jumps on top of Uncle Cameron, all but choking the life out of him. I would be worried if he wasn't red in the face from laughing his ass off. Or maybe he really can't breathe. Fuck if I know.

"Mamá!" Olivia scolds and stands up to pull her back. "Ya es suficiente!"

"Detente!" She scowls. "He cheated!"

"Sweet cheeks." Uncle Cameron can barely speak through his laughter. "You can't cheat in charades."

"Then how did you?"

"I didn't!"

"And now he's lying to me?" Tia asks incredulously, looking at all of us.

"Aves, come on." Mom rolls her eyes. "I doubt he cheated."

"He probably did," Dad throws in, nodding. "He's a little shit."

"Fuck you!" Uncle Cameron glares and Dad snickers.

Landon leans closer to my seat. "Do you think they'll notice if we leave?"

"Yes!" Everyone in the room shouts at once. Landon jumps.

"Jesus! It's just charades, you assholes."

That launches everyone into another debate about how it's never just charades. I roll my eyes, more than over it. I'm only here because Olivia asked me not to ditch.

Speak of the firecracker, I narrow my eyes when she notices me staring at her. I lift a finger and crook it to beckon her to me. She raises a brow right back. I know she's only being sassy for the fuck of it. When she realizes I won't budge from our silent stand-off, she huffs and makes her way over to me.

"What?" She asks.

Wordlessly, I grab her hand and pull her down onto my lap. This time both her brows go up in amusement and she wraps her arms around my neck. When my hand lazily glides up her leg, she sucks in a breath and shifts.

"Behave," She murmurs seriously.

I smirk. "Never."

"Luc," She laughs softly. She shifts closer, setting her cheek to mine. She's cuddling. I try not to be so tense. As the minutes go by I can feel myself relaxing. I rub a hand up and down her back, weirdly content just from holding her. She feels good even though it's not sexual. "How did your talk with your dad go?"

"Good." I glance at him now and he's already watching me, wearing a knowing smile as he looks between me and Olivia. He mouths "whipped" and I roll my eyes before looking away again. "I think we're going to be fine."

She pulls back slightly to look at me. "What about you? Are you okay?"

I nod. And I actually mean it. It's been a shitty year but here, right now, I don't have any complaints. Don't know what I did to deserve it but fuck it.

She pushes my hair back from my forehead, smiling. The sight of it does something to me. "Look at you—all put together and whatnot."

A small chuckle gets the better of me. I grab the back of her head and pull her back in, resting it on my shoulder. And fuck if it doesn't feel like how we used to be all those years ago. Better, even, because this time around she's mine. So fucking mine.

"You helped. You were there," I admit quietly.

"You did it all by yourself," She whispers back. "I definitely pulled the deadweight, though."

"Stop being a smart-ass."

"Never."

I laugh again. This time I turn her head toward me, my lips grazing her ear as I whisper, "Guess I'll just have to fuck some obedience into you."

I feel her breath hitch. "Guess so."

I groan under my breath, burying my face in her neck to place soft and hungry kisses. I can feel her pulse thrumming under my lips and I smile against her skin, knowing she wants me as badly as I want her. My grip on her thigh tightens. I want nothing more than to spread her legs and pound into her sweet warmth right about now. Two days without being inside of her is too fucking long where I'm concerned.

"Cage," I hear Uncle Cameron's growl. My smirk deepens and I don't pull away. "Hands off my baby girl."

"Wait until he finds out I've had more than just my hands on you," I whisper, biting the underside of her jaw.

"Lucas," Olivia hisses and tries to pull away. I clutch her tighter and she groans. "Sorry, Dad. He won't let me go."

"He has no choice. We're heading out now. Come on, kid."

I finally look up, my mouth pinching at he corners. Fuck, no. I'm seeing her after two days and she's already leaving?

"I'll stop by tomorrow," Olivia assures me, somehow reading my mind. She tilts her head to kiss me hard and quick and her aggravated sigh when she pulls away tells me she doesn't want to leave either. I'm pissy when she stands up and follows her parents to the door.

"Come on," Mom whispers, tugging me out of the chair. She hooks her arm around my bicep and leads me behind them. "Now is not the time for pride. Ask her to stay."

I look down at her, brow raised. "You'd be cool if she spends the night?"

"Oh, please." She rolls her eyes. "Don't think I didn't know you were sneaking off at night to go over to her house when you were a teen. Now you're both older and responsible so yeah, tell her to stay."

"Uh-huh. And Uncle Cameron?"

"I told Avery to make inappropriate suggestions to distract him. He'll take the bait."

"You two just won't give it up, huh?"

"What can I say?" She grins. "We always wanted our babies to end up together."

I shake my head but lean down to kiss her cheek.

Truthfully, I fuck with the idea. Olivia spending the night is exactly what I need right now. Not just to fuck her, but to be with her. Besides, I've gotten used to her sleeping next to me. Turns out insomnia isn't so bad when you're not alone. I prefer it even because I get to have Olivia all to myself in those late and quiet hours. She has no idea but sometimes I talk to her while she sleeps and I admit all the things I wouldn't have the courage to if she was awake. It's healing.

"Hey," I call out softly before Olivia has the chance to put on her shoes. She turns around, brows coming together when I tug her towards me. I place a finger under her chin and lift it up. "Spend the night with me?"

Her surprise is obvious. "Really?"

I nod. "I'm only on day two of no sleep. Gonna be a boring night without you."

"And if I spend the night with you, I won't get any sleep." Her words are accompanied by a knowing grin. "Let me see if I can get permission."

Before she can so much as open her mouth, Tia tosses us a thumbs-up and waves us off. I smirk. Nice.

"See you guys soon!" She calls out and grabs Uncle Cameron's hand, leading him outside.

"Sweet pea?" He asks when Olivia doesn't move.

"She's spending the night," Tia cuts in. Uncle Cameron's eyes widen with incredulity. "Come on, Hermoso. She's staying with the Cages. You know she'll be fine."

"She's staying with that Cage," He points an accusing finger at me. My mouth quirks. "No fucking way. Let's go, Olivia."

"Relax," Dad cuts in calmly. "We'll take care of her, brother. You have my word."

"It's not you I'm worried about, jerk-off."

"I let you punch my son out of common courtesy. He's even with you. This is a new slate so let him have it."

"She can stay with me if it'll make you feel better," Landon interrupts, wiggling his brows.

Uncle Cam makes a face. "Jesus, you pervert. You actually make me prefer the devil."

"Don't forget what you said to me out there," I remind him. Olivia looks at us curiously while he meets my stare dead-on, knowing exactly what I'm talking about. You were meant for my little girl.

"Fine," Uncle Cameron bites out. "But I'm picking you up first thing in the morning."

"Deal." Olivia goes on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Te amo."

"I love you too," He mumbles glumly, at least until Tia kisses him and says something in his ear that makes him grin. I glance over at Mom who's looking at me with a face that says, I told you so.

Once they're gone, I put my hand on the small of Olivia's back and start leading her towards the stairs. "Night."

"Already?" Landon coos. Dad smacks his head and I don't bother holding back a laugh.

Mom clears her throat loudly, stopping us. She levels us with a serious stare. "I only pulled that off because I trust the two of you. Don't make me regret it."

"We know," Olivia's face flushes in a rare show of embarrassment. "Thanks, Aunt Em."

"So everyone's going to get some tonight except me?" I hear Landon mutter as we go up the stairs. It's followed by another smack that I have to assume was Dad. I feel for the old man.

As soon as I lock my bedroom door behind me, I'm on her. Olivia laughs when I pick her up by the waist and I swallow up that sound when I impatiently press my lips to hers. Her laugh morphs into a quiet moan and I carry her to my bed, laying her down. I crawl over her and my hands pin hers down, our fingers linking. I only pull back so I can look at her and I'm not disappointed.

"Do you know how many times in my life I've imagined you in my bed, beneath me, just like this?" My eyes scroll down her body, my own humming with restless anticipation.

"No more imagining," She murmurs. She cups my face and her thumbs sweep across my cheekbones. "This is real, Lucas."

"It's too good not to be." My lips capture hers again, this kiss hotter than the last. Within seconds we're charged up and ready for each other.

I fuck her three times. Once on the bed, once sitting back in my desk chair, once against my windows where anyone could have seen us. I would've gone in for a fourth if she hadn't pushed me back after her fifth orgasm, obviously too exhausted for more.

"You're still not tired enough to sleep?" She asks in obvious disbelief and slides under my blanket. I'm right behind her and I pull her naked body into mine. Can't get enough.

"My body's tired," I grin. "But my mind isn't."

She pokes her index finger to the centre of my forehead. "What kind of evil thoughts are you coming up with?"

"If I tell you, I might scare you."

"You don't scare me." She throws her leg over mine, getting closer. A yawn escapes her. "Goodnight."

I kiss her temple, running my hand down her arm and linking our hands together. "Night, baby."

I feel her smile take form against my chest right before she tilts her head up. Her eyes search mine. "Huh."

"What?"

"It's just...you're not the type to say baby."

"I'm not," I agree. I can feel my pulse quickening, knowing I can't hold back anymore. "I'm also not the type to say I love you but I'm doing that too."

She sucks in a breath, eyes widening. No way could she school her expression even if she wanted to. "What?"

Nothing about this easy. I'm breaking every goddamn rule in the book here but fuck the rules. Olivia is in a league of her own.

"I love you, Livvy." I cup her face, sliding my hand into her hair and holding her hopeful gaze. "I loved you when I hated you. I loved you when you weren't mine. And I love the fuck out of you now that you are."

"Lucas," She breathes, at a total loss for words. I smile.

"If you think I hated you good then you're definitely not ready to be loved by me, baby. Believe that."

She laughs but it's accompanied by tears in her eyes that I have to swipe away when they fall. "I love you, too."

"I know." She shakes her head at me while I shrug. "You're the only one who puts up with me and it's because you love me. Simple."

"Freaking devil," She whispers. Her arm winds around my neck and she closes the remaining distance between us when she kisses me.

So this is what it's like to feel whole. Not bad.

***

If I wasn't awake I wouldn't have heard it. At least not the first time. The second time it's much louder and I sit up in bed with a start. My stomach bottoms out.

"What was that?" Olivia gasps and sits up too.

"Wait here," I mutter.

I untangle myself from the sheets with more effort than it requires. For some reason I'm shaking, like I can sense something is wrong before I know for sure. I grab my boxers and quickly yank them on, speed walking out of my bedroom and heading downstairs where the noise came from. It was a shout. Or a sob. Something bad.

My heart is racing so fast it's no wonder my whole fucking body is shaking. I swear I'm cold all over as I reach for my parents' bedroom door, hesitating. Preparing myself. For what? What's going on with me?

They say you should listen to your gut but I wish to Christ I didn't listen to mine. Because when I find the courage to open the door, all I see is Dad holding Mom, both of them on the floor. Mom's eyes are closed. Dad's are full of anguish. My throat locks up so suddenly I can't breathe.

No, no, no. Please, no.

"Call her doctors!" Dad screams. He clutches Mom tighter, shaking her. There's no response. "She won't wake up!"

And I think a piece of me dies.

_________________________

A/N

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