I wake up with a jerk, bolting upright and cursing when I realize I fell asleep. I grab my phone off the bedside side table and groggily call Mom's number. Ever since we found out about her cancer, my sleep has been non-existent out of paranoia. I'm so fucking terrified that one day I'll be deep asleep and lose her without even realizing, without being by her side, without saying goodbye. I'd never forgive myself if that happened so I don't sleep. I've had insomnia since I was a kid but this is the worst it's been. Now I can go up to three days without sleep but after that I usually crash without meaning to for several hours. That's probably what happened yesterday afternoon, when I was lying down in bed and fuming at the thought of Olivia. That's the last thing I remember so I must have knocked out and now it's seven in the morning of the next day. Fucking hell.

"Hello?" Comes a sleepy mumble. The relief I feel is so goddamn overwhelming I sink into my bed again, rubbing a hand over my face.

"Hey, Mom," I say as quietly as I can. I feel like a dick now that I know she's okay and was resting. "Sorry. I just wanted to check in with you really quick."

"That's okay," She says through a yawn and I hear her shuffling in bed. "How's my boy?"

"Good," I lie. "You? How do you feel today?"

"Good," I know she's lying to me too. "Chemo was kind of rough yesterday but nothing a bit of sleep can't fix."

Yeah, right. That's such bullshit and my throat tightens in devastation. "I'm sorry you're hurting."

"Don't be," She says gently. "I'm not hurting. Your father has paid for the best kind of care there is. I'm being taken care of and surrounded by everyone I love. That's all I can ask for."

"I want to be home with you," I say through gritted teeth because fuck me, I can feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. Hearing her talk about this whole situation like she's made her peace with it is driving me fucking crazy. How can she just accept this is happening to her? "Let me come home. School isn't important right now."

"Yes it is, Lucas," She says sternly. She hasn't used that tone with me in a while and I think I've actually missed it. I miss Mom being a hard-ass about the rules and giving me shit. These days she's too weak for any of that. "It's not just about your education, although that's important too. You need to feel some kind of normalcy or you'll go crazy. Being here won't help me get better faster, baby. You're just going to be miserable. Just be a regular kid so it makes all of this a little more bearable. It's too depressing here and I don't want you to remember me like this. I don't want to taint your memories of me with ones that are nothing but me hooked up to wires and taking countless medication."

"Stop talking like that." It takes everything in me not to yell. Why is everyone acting so goddamn morbid? Hasn't anyone considered that maybe she'll fight this thing off and win? "You're not gone. I don't need to depend on any fucking memories if you're right in front of me. You're going to stay in front of me. You're not going anywhere."

"Shh," She whispers and I force myself to calm down. Hell, what am I doing? Me losing my shit is only going to stress her out more. "I'm right here, baby. You're right. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry if I made it sound otherwise."

"Just let me come home," I beg through a thick voice. "Tell Dad to let me come home. You know he's forcing me to stay here."

I hear her sigh and the sound of her sheets rustling. "We both wanted you to go to school this year, Lucas. Don't blame it all on him. It was our collective decision."

"Bullshit. He...I kind of trusted Dad with something private and he's using that against me to make me stay here. That's fucked up, Mom. Don't you see that?"

"Your father has interesting tactics to getting his way," She agrees. "But he's only looking out for you. I trust that or I wouldn't have had children with him. He loves you, Luc. He's making the tough choices so you won't have to."

"I'm not a fucking child," I mutter. "I can make my own goddamn decisions. He's the one that acts like I'm a screw-up."

"He doesn't think that at all and you would know that if you just talked to him."

"No. Forget it. Look, can I come home or not? Please, Mom?"

"Honey, I can't force you to do anything. That's why I'm asking. I'm asking you to stay on campus and finish university and do fun things. Go to parties, get drunk and pretend like you're not hungover when you call me the next day, make up with Olivia."

"You knew?" I sit up again. Seriously, what in the fuck? First Dad with his bullshit and now Mom has been lying to me too?

"Your Tia and I might have planned ahead," She admits. "We both want to see our kids happy. You and Olivia were always so happy."

"Things change," I argue. "She's nothing to me now and it's going to stay that way. I'll give you anything except that."

The line goes quiet for a minute and I feel like a royal ass but Olivia and I are untouchable territory. No one is allowed to ask what happened and no one is allowed to get in our business. What's done is fucking done.

"Okay. I'll accept that Olivia is out of your life for good if you stay at school this year. You said you'll give me anything?"

"Mom," My eyes fall shut. "That's fucked up. Come on."

"That's the deal. And go to your classes. I asked the dean to keep me updated and he said you haven't even chosen your courses for this semester. Go to the dean's office and enroll, Lucas. Please. I don't want to see you throw your future away."

Motherfucker. I squeeze my eyes shut in frustration. No matter what I do the whole fucking world is keeping tabs on me. My Dad is blackmailing the part of my life only he knows, my Mom is throwing my education in my face, my best friend is officially my fucking babysitter, and the girl who makes me feel like my lungs are on fire is back in my vicinity. I can't fucking breathe anymore. When will everyone learn to leave me the fuck alone?

"Please," Mom tries again when I don't answer. I can't keep doing this. She should be focusing on getting better and instead she's holding my hand and wiping my ass. There's a lot of things I have no interesting in fixing up but I can do this one thing for Mom.

"Fine. I'll enroll and go to my stupid classes. But don't except anything higher than a D average. That's my maximum."

"I'll take it," She laughs and it feels damn good to hear that sound. I memorize it and try to bottle it up because I'm so fucking paranoid each time she laughs it's going to be her last one. "Don't think I don't know first day of classes are today. Enroll, send me your schedule, and call me today and tell me about everything."

"Deal," I agree softly. I'd rather chop my own dick off than do any of this shit but I'm only doing it because Mom asked and I know she'll follow up to make sure I listened to her. "I love you a little more everyday. You know that?"

"Always," I hear the smile in her voice. "Be happy for me, my sweet boy. That's all I want."

I swallow down the gravel in my throat. "I'll try."

"Good. I love you. Have a great first day."

"Go back to sleep," I instruct softly. "Talk soon, Mama."

I end the call and toss my phone away, releasing a groan of frustration. I had absolutely no plans to enroll in this semester. The plan was not to attend school even if I'm on campus and Dad would be forced to let me come home. Now Mom is making me take this semester for real so yeah, I officially need to move my ass. I hate every second of it but I do it. God, I'm so fucking tired of everything already.

I half-ass getting ready, leaving my face unshaven and my hair wavy and out of sorts. I don't even bother changing out of my sweatpants, putting on a white shirt and leather jacket and calling it a day. I grab my empty backpack and a pair of sunglasses to hide my eye bags and trudge out of my room. I pass Zack sitting on the kitchen counter and eating a bowl of cereal and he raises a brow at me.

"What happened to your master plan of flaking school and being pulled out?"

"Mom," I reply evenly and leave it at that. Zack nods, taking another bite.

"You're going to have to enroll ASAP. Only the shitty courses are left, aside from the mandatory ones for your major."

"Thanks, asshole." I swipe an apple from a basket, glaring at him through my shades. "Don't you have classes too?"

"Kind of avoiding my first class," He admits and looks down at himself. He's shirtless and his face is as unkempt is mine. "I'll make it to the second."

"What's wrong with the first?"

He clears his throat, looking inside his cereal bowl like it holds all the answers. "Professor Alvarez teaches it."

I snort when I realize what he's talking about. "You dick. Isn't that the prof you fucked this summer?"

"Go get your ass enrolled and worry about yourself." He grabs a hand towel and throws it at my face. I barely catch it in time.

"Stop being a pussy and go to your first class," I throw the towel back at him and head for the door. "And try not to think about Alvarez's tight ass bent over a desk and screaming your name."

"Fuck you!" He yells just as I slam the door shut with a smirk.

Just as quickly, my decent mood dies out once I step outside the residence building. It's fucking pouring and the dean's office is on the other side of campus. I could either mission it to the student parking lot where my car is or just run there myself. I go with running because I could use blowing off some steam. My feet hit the wet pavement as I pass by students ducking under their umbrellas and binders and trying to get inside. A few people call out to me and I ignore all of them, wondering why the hell they even try. I haven't been nice to one fucking person my entire time at Boston U. What are they trying to prove? It's not going to happen.

By the time I get to the building I'm soaked from head to toe. I shake my hair out as best as I can but the rest of me can't be helped.

"Do you have an appointment?" A women behind one of the desks asks. I take off my shades and her eyes immediately widen. "Oh. Mr. Cage. I'll let the dean know you're here."

I expected as much. I never said there weren't any perks to being me. I go for the elevators since the dean is on the second floor. Just as I get in a couple of girls rush in behind me, making it inside before the doors close. They audibly gasp when they see me, moving back against one of the corners. I put my shades back on as a silent wall so everyone knows to not talk to me or approach me. I can hear the girls whispering and giggling and tune them out. They're making themselves look like fucking idiots.

The elevator gets to the second floor and I step out. I'm certain I hear one of the girls say "bye, Lucas," but choose to ignore it. I head straight for the dean's office and open the door without knocking. He stops mid-conversation with the kid sitting across from him and his mouth twists down.

"Mr. Cage. I was wondering when I'd see you. Would you wait outside and let me finish here?"

"No need," I shrug. I stand behind the chair and squeeze the guy's shoulder tight. He gapes at me. "This dude is willing to let me cut in line. Aren't you?"

"Y-yeah. Of course," He abruptly stands up and gathers his things. I take his seat as he bolts out of the office and the dean shakes his head at me, unamused.

"What? I didn't make him leave."

"You should consider yourself lucky that your father makes very generous donations to this university every year or I wouldn't put up with your behaviour the way I do," He sighs deeply. I shrug again. Fuck does he want me to say? This is the hand I got dealt and I'll milk it since life wants to kick my ass in other departments. "Let's see about enrolling. Remind me of your major?"

"Criminal Justice," I say in a bored voice. I actually used to be passionate about the topic but I've lost any will to give a shit anymore.

"Right," He taps away on his keyboard, reading his computer screen for a few moments. "Okay. You're up to date with your credits. Unfortunately, because you're enrolling so late, one of your mandatory courses is full and no longer available. However, seeing as you're facing trying times and your mother was kind enough to talk to me in advance, I'll let you take any general course and consider it a full credit so you can complete the semester."

"Awesome," I deadpan. I really don't give a fuck. If it were up to me I wouldn't be here at all.

"We have two general courses with enough room left. Classical Music or Astronomy."

I make a face. "Are you shitting me?"

"Language," He glares. "And no, I assure you I'm not. You should have been enrolled a month ago so this is the price to pay. Which is going to be?"

Both make me want to hold a knife to my balls. What the fuck could they possibly teach in pussy-ass subjects like that?

"You sure I can't take anything else?"

"You're lucky I'm giving you this option at all, Mr. Cage. Don't push it."

Fucking damn it. "Which is easier, Jack?"

He glares at my use of his first name but humours me. "I'd go with astronomy. It only has a few readings and one major project."

"Astronomy it is," I agree.

"Last chance," His finger hovers the mouse. "I won't let you switch."

"Yeah, because I'm dying to blow a clarinet like fucking Squidward. Astronomy is fine."

I swear his mouth twitches for a moment. He enrolls me and then prints out my schedule, handing me the sheet of paper. "Good luck, Mr. Cage. Please know I sympathize with your situation but I also expect you to work hard."

"I expect a lot of things I don't get either, Jack." I snatch the paper from him. I hate talking about Mom with anyone who isn't family. What do they know? Why should it be their business? "You can let my mother know I stopped by so she doesn't worry. Don't give her anymore reasons to be worrying, huh? Snitching on me isn't going to do shit."

His jaw ticks with impatience. It was a dick move but one I needed to make known. I don't need Mom getting calls from the dean every time I miss a class or flunk a quiz. She has enough to worry about and so do I. Even if I'm doing this for her, I really couldn't give a fuck about school right now.

"See you," I smirk and leave his office. I briefly look over my schedule before texting a picture of it to Mom. I know she won't actually keep tabs on me. This is more so she knows I'm still listening to her and not undermining her just because she's sick. I'd rather fucking die than make her feel that way.

I stuff my schedule in my backpack and head for Astronomy. First fucking class of the day and it's the one I wanted least. I already regret waking up this morning. And it's still fucking raining so I have to break out into another jog. My clothes cling to me and I almost go back to my dorm and call it a day but Astronomy is in the next building over so fuck it.

Class has already started by the time I get to the classroom and the professor, a short man with glasses the size of half his face, stops his lecture.

"Come in!" He gestures enthusiastically. "Did you take a shower in your clothes before getting here?" He chortles at his own joke but it gradually dies out when my face doesn't budge an inch. He clears his throat and points to the rest of the lecture hall. "Take a seat anywhere you like, young man."

I close the door behind me and head for the stairs in the middle of the lecture hall.

"Uh, name please?" The professor hastily asks.

"Lucas Cage," I answer as I go up the stairs two at a time. Whispers and stares follow me as I trek up the very top where the last row is, far away from anyone else. I slide in behind the row and take a seat, leaning back and kicking my feet up. The rest of the students are looking over their shoulders and staring up at me, not even trying to hide it. My irritation flares. "Can I fucking help you?"

They all startle and turn around again, quickly facing the front. All of them except one person. My body locks up when I finally notice.

Olivia. She's in this class. What the actual fuck?

"Figures," I mumble and keep my eyes locked on hers. Why won't she look away? What the hell is her problem? The sight of her gets on my every damn nerve but I won't be the first to look away and give in. Fuck that.

Finally, she scoffs and faces the front again, back to being disinterested. For some reason that bothers me more than the brief glaring contest we had. At least it was a reaction. But this, her not giving a fuck? She had some goddamn nerve to not give a shit about the way she ruined my life and left me hanging. She doesn't even fucking care, does she?

It's a good thing I don't either.

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A/N

Oooooh, loving this development! These two haven't had a single proper interaction yet I go crazy over every stare and look they exchange. It's such a tease and I'm ready for more!

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