When I walk into the coffee shop, I immediately spot Lizzie sitting at a table at the back. Her stomach is a dead giveaway but I keep that to myself or I'd be dead. I pass through the café and over to where she's sitting and she notices me immediately. When she tries to stand up I gesture a hand for her to stay in her seat and bend down to hug her instead. She rubs my back in small circles while rocking me. It's soothing as hell and already her touch feels motherly. She's going to be a kick-ass mom.

"How's my little brother?" She asks when I pull back. I take a seat across from her and she settles her forearms on the table, tilting her head at me. "You seem different."

I raise a brow. "Do I?"

"Yeah. A little...calmer somehow."

"You mean you're surprised I've been here for two minutes and haven't broken a face or yelled in one?"

She reaches out to slap my arm and I fight a smile. "No, loser. I just meant you're usually wound up and ready to start a fight. I'm not getting that from you right now."

I shrug. Fuck if I know what she's talking about. I'm still the asshole I've always been. Just because I can't be bothered to get into anymore fights doesn't mean I've changed.

"How's everything?" I jerk my chin toward her belly.

She looks down at it with a smile and rubs it. "Good. The little one hasn't been giving me any trouble. I just hope that'll be the case once this kid is out."

"How come you chose not to find out the gender? I thought you had an appointment a few weeks ago."

"I did but I changed my mind. I don't know. I guess surprising ourselves gives us something to look forward to. Something to distract us with."

I look down. Yeah. We need as much of that as we can get.

"She's getting better," Lizzie whispers tentatively. My shoulders lock up.

"Don't. I'm not celebrating anything until the cancer is completely gone."

"Bubba..." She silently holds her hand out for mine and I give it, albeit reluctantly. I don't like being touched when I'm already on edge. It brings me that much closer to falling over. Makes me weak. "It's okay to be happy for her milestones. It's okay to have hope—"

"It's not," I cut in. "The worst thing you can give anyone is false hope. It's one thing to prepare yourself for the worst but it's another thing to be told you don't have to prepare and then take a blind hit. That's when it hurts like a bitch. I won't hope for anything, Lizzie."

"I get that. I do. But if there's anything we've learned it's that life is unexpected. It's very easy to let your regrets pile up until they're all you have left to show for yourself. That's the worst thing you can do to anyone — let them live a life they can't stop regretting while they're taking their last breath, knowing there's no going back."

I swallow hard. Her words shake something inside of me, make me feel like I've been ripped open for the world to see. I pull my hand out of hers and cross my arms defensively. But that doesn't stop Lizzie and she reaches forward to cup my face.

"I know it's scary to be happy. I know it's terrifying knowing your happiness can be taken away from you without warning. But it's even scarier when everything is said and done and you realize you had your guard up against the people who gave everything trying to get past them."

I close my eyes tightly. "Lizzie..."

"You deserve to be happy, Lucas. Stop punishing yourself for what happened four years ago. It won't change the past but it sure as hell is ruining your future. Just let go, bubba."

"I can't," I open my eyes again so she can see how serious I'm being. "Four years ago was about more than just Olivia. Olivia came after everything fell apart. She just added to the damage."

Lizzie frowns. "You mean what you and Dad—"

"What we told you when you asked. You don't know, Elizabeth. Not the truth."

"I'm not stupid, Lucas." She whispers. "On some level I put the pieces together. You know it doesn't change what I think of you, right? And I don't think you should be punishing yourself for it."

"Then you haven't put it together as well as you think you have," I take a deep breath when I feel the same anger I always do thinking about that day. "And Mom doesn't know the truth and there's a chance we'll lose her, and I want to be honest with her but she'll just see me as a monster. I don't want her to remember me that way."

"Honey," Her voice cracks. "Look at what you're doing to yourself. You're drowning in your own guilt. You can't carry this weight forever or you'll crash. One way or another you will crash, Luc."

I set my elbows on the table, pushing my hands through my hair. She's telling me what I already know. The only difference is she doesn't think I deserve it and I know I do.

"I want to show you something," I hear her say in a soft voice. I keep my stare on the table and Lizzie slides something into view. A few loose pages. "Just look at these."

My eyes skim the top paper briefly and I feel my shoulders lock up when I see Mom's name. Beside it is the name of the hospital she's administered under and I immediately know what this is.

"I don't want to look at this," I slide it back to Lizzie.

"Lucas, please. It might help you. These progress reports...they're really promising."

"Nothing is promised."

"Luc," This time her tone is firmer and I begrudgingly lift my eyes. Lizzie has always been a chill older sister but that doesn't mean she hasn't given me the occasional ass-kicking growing up. I also respect the hell out of her so I reluctantly give her my attention. "You owe it to Mom to acknowledge how hard she's been fighting to beat this cancer. She made it further than we thought she would and she damn well deserves her son's support. Look at these and call her, Lucas. She needs you."

I curse under my breath and sit up straighter. She's right. Fuck, she's right. As terrifying as it is for me to wonder if Mom's progress will last, it's even worse not being there for her when she made it this far. I take the papers from her and look through them, feeling like there's a goddamn boulder in my chest. There's something about all the information on the progress report that makes this feel even more real. It's weird — Mom has had cancer for almost eight months now and it's still somehow so hard to believe and digest. Sometimes it feels like I'm in a bad dream I need to wake up from. But this report and all the medical terms I don't understand and the numbers that mean something to the doctors but nothing to me, it's overwhelming and a stark reminder that I'm out of my league here. I think that's what makes this even harder to come to terms with. I know there isn't jack shit I can do to make it better.

"It's a lot," Lizzie confirms with a sigh. "But it's basically telling us that the tumour is responding to the chemotherapy and it's shrinking. The doctors say there's a really good chance she's heading up on remission with just a matter of time. It's great news, Lucas."

And that's what scares me. Bad news prepares you for the worst. Good news disguises itself as hope and forces you to ditch all that preparation only for you to be blindsided. I don't know what to believe or think. I just know I'm terrified.

"Baby steps," Lizzie brings her chair around until she's sitting beside me and leans her head on my shoulder. "Stop thinking about what will happen in the future because there's no answer. There's only now and these progress reports are answers. Just focus on this and we take it step by step. One day at a time okay, bubba?"

"What happens if we run out of days?" I whisper.

She shrugs, smiling sadly. "Then we focus on the moments, because that's what all days are made up of."

"Shit," I rub a hand over my face. I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling like there's a constant black cloud over my head. The only time I feel even a semblance of relief is when I'm with Olivia. She just makes it all fucking go away and I don't know what the hell that means. Yesterday flashes though my mind again, the way I kissed her and touched her and all the ways she kissed and touched me back. We were consumed in our lust but I felt her — it ran so much deeper than lust.

"I know what you're thinking about," Lizzie sing-songs quietly and I scoff, looking away.

"Yeah? How's that?"

"You get this look in your eyes when you think about her."

"I don't get any look."

"Oh, spare me. You've loved her since you learned how to say her name."

"Keyword being loved."

"Do you really believe that?" She forces me to look at her again and I do, teeth clenching. "The only reason you've managed to hate her for so long is because she was miles away from you. If she didn't leave you'd never hate her, no matter what happened that day. You'd have been angry for a while, sure, but you would have moved on. You're more hurt over the fact that she left than you are over whatever the hell happened between you guys. But it's just easier to blame your anger on that than admit you needed her, right?"

"Stop it," My chest heaves. Does she seriously think I don't know all this? Of course I do but fuck if I'm going to admit it. What happened that day was just a fucking blip. I don't care anymore. Her deepest betrayal was leaving me when I needed her. That's what this comes down to, like Lizzie said, but I need to keep that buried like I've been doing for the past four years. "She left. She broke us. It was her decision, okay? Fucking whatever."

"She didn't want to leave."

"Yes, she d—"

"I went with her to the airport that day," Lizzie cuts and I almost bite down on my tongue. I'm dumbfounded as I stare at her.

"What? You were with her when she left? What the fuck, Elizabeth?"

She holds a hand up and levels me with a stare, one that says to shut the hell up. I do and she continues.

"You don't think I wanted to know why she was leaving my little brother behind? You don't think I was angry with her? You're my baby. Of course I wanted to know what she was up to. So I went with her to get some answers and she wouldn't say anything. I asked her again and again why she was doing this but she wouldn't budge. But she wasn't being petty or rude. There was something about the look on her face, something that told me to stop pushing because maybe I didn't know all the facts. So I stopped pestering her and dropped her to the gate. That's when she broke down on me. She was hysterical, Lucas. She just kept repeating your name over and over again because she needed you. I don't know what happened to her but she needed you."

My throat locks up. What the hell is she talking about? "That's not...you never told me that. Why?"

She looks remorseful. "Olivia begged me not to once she calmed down. You know my loyalties are to you but she was adamant. And honestly you were in no condition to hear it when I got home. Do you remember that day? You lost it, Lucas. Tore your room apart and broke your hand. We couldn't even say her name without you falling apart all over again. Eventually the situation faded away but neither of you wanted to hear about each other. Neither of you wanted to heal and move on but...am I right to say that's changed?"

"No," I immediately say because I'm so goddamn used to saying it. But I have to stop myself and back up. More flashes of these past few months flit through my mind like a fucking movie. Touching Olivia, holding Olivia, laughing with Olivia. My stomach twists. "I...fuck. I don't know, Lizzie."

"Doesn't not knowing tell you something? Months ago you didn't even want to hear her name. We just had a whole conversation about her, the first time you've talked to me about her since she left. Maybe you're not angry with her anymore, honey. Maybe you're angry with yourself."

"That's definitely not news," I deadpan and Lizzie cracks a smile despite herself. I run a hand through my hair, exhaling deeply. Talk about loaded. I've officially reached my limit and I don't want to discuss this anymore. I've already heard more than I can take. How did I not know about that day at the airport? Fuck me. "Should we order?"

"Sure," Lizzie agrees and I'm glad she's letting me drop it. "Don't let me order coffee. I'm allowed one cup but this kid won't even let me have that."

"Already fighting with you, huh? That's definitely a Cage boy in there."

"Mason thinks so too," She laughs. Her eyes soften and she pulls me in for a hug. When she speaks she whispers in my ear. "You're not a bad person, Lucas. You're just trying to outrun a bad life."

Fucking hell. I hug her back tightly, letting my guard drop for just one fucking second, and it feels like I can breathe. And maybe, just maybe, I'm not as hopeless as I thought I was.

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A/N

I love deep chapters that talk about life! So many lines in here that hit me in the feels. And I love how wise and protective our Lizzie grew up to be! I really wanted to incorporate a chapter that focused on the relationship between her and Lucas and I'm loving what they have! Thoughts?

Thank you for all the Raze love the past couple days! If you haven't had a chance to read it yet, please do!

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)