4 months later...

I think I might fucking strangle the next person who blatantly stares at us. If I thought I was an impatient fuck before, it's nothing compared to what this summer did to me. These past few months have been the worst months of my life and it changed something in me, something I'm not sure I can ever undo.

I'm angry. All the fucking time. I've been getting into fights, I've completely isolated myself from what little friends I have, I've been fucking anything with a pussy and a pulse to tone down the fighting and that energy needs to go somewhere. I'm basically a goddamn mess and I have no intention of cleaning myself up. What good would it fucking do? It's not going to fix shit so I can't be fucking bothered to get my act together. Fuck everything. Fuck everything.

"C'mon," Dad says under his voice as he pulls out my suitcase, closing the trunk. "Hold your shit together a little longer. You can wait until we're out of here."

I resent him.

Months ago my father was my best friend. He's done some shit for me that has only stayed between us, shit that's saved my life. That all changed the second he was the person to destroy my life too. I know it's not his fault, not in his hands, but he was the one to break the news to me and that too, weeks after keeping it secret. I mean, what the fuck? And now he's forcing me to go back to school and finish my degree. A stupid fucking piece of paper I don't give two shits about. I fought him endlessly but in the end he raised the stakes, and threatened me with the one thing he knows about me that no one else knows. It was a low blow and I loathe him for it, especially because I'm back to this god-forsaken place that I fucking hated to begin with. He was the start of everything that went wrong in my life and I resent him for it.

"I'll do it myself," I mutter and jerk the handle out of his hands, pulling the suitcase away.

"This is what's best for you," He snaps. He's been losing patience with me as quickly as I've been losing patience with him. That's the thing about being a carbon copy son — when we get along it's fucking great but when we argue, we butt heads mercilessly. "You can't see it now but this is what you need."

"Fuck you," My lip curls. "I'm not a goddamn child. But I suppose that's what you think since you kept this secret, or since you blackmailed poor little Luc into doing what you want, because the truth is you don't know what the fuck you're doing. You can't fix this or control it so you're trying to control me. Feeling like a fucking superhero yet, Dad?"

His laugh is humourless and shocked all at once. Up until now my anger had its limits but now I've snapped. Clearly. "That was a low blow even for you. Be a dick to me all you want but if that's what it takes to hold this family together so be it."

"You can't hold us together anymore," I shake my head mockingly. "Haven't you heard? You're not God."

"That's enough, Lucas," He barks, his face contorting with anger and just a flicker of heartbreak. Christ. What am I doing? Even I know how fucked up it was of me to say that but my pride holds me firm and I glare instead of apologizing. "I'll be out of your fucking hair in two minutes. For the sake of appearance stop acting like an asshole and then you can hate me all you want."

I do hate him. And I hate that I hate him. Fucked up much? Yeah.

"Is that the last of it?" Mom steps out of the car and smiles over at me. It falters when she catches the expression on my face and her eyes flick between Dad and I. "Is everything okay?"

I briefly glance at Dad. His eyes are full of warning. I've crossed a lot of lines today but the one line I'm not allowed to cross is upsetting Mom. He'll raise hell on me if I do that. He loves the fuck out of her and he won't tolerate anybody making her upset, even his kids.

"Fine," I finally murmur. She doesn't look convinced so I walk up to her and lean down to kiss her forehead, hugging her to me. I may be a foot taller than her but as she hugs me back I close my eyes tightly because Mom has this way about making you feel safe. Damn if I don't feel a deep twist in my chest.

"I'm going to miss you so much, honey," She squeezes my torso tight. "Don't be a stranger, okay? And work hard. This is your last year and I want you to do well."

"Promise," I stroke her hair with a knot in my throat. "I love you."

"I love you more," She tips her head back and I turn my cheek for her so she can give me a kiss. She ruffles my hair like she used to do when I was a kid. "Be good."

"I'll try," I wink at her and she laughs, shaking her head. This time my smile is genuine. Mom has the best laugh. It's always loud but somehow soft at the same time and I love when I'm the one responsible for it.

"I mean it, Luc," She points a stern finger at me. "Good grades and no fights. You need to work on your temper."

I nod. That's the understatement of the century and I doubt I'm about to accomplish that shit anytime soon. That's why I wisely stay quiet instead of promising her something I know I won't live up to.

"Okay. Call soon, alright?" She kisses my cheek again and drops her voice to a whisper. "And please, try to make up with your father. He might act pig-headed about it but he's hurting too, baby. You need each other, okay? For me?"

And here Dad and I thought we were being slick. But this is just another thing I can't promise so I nod again, pressing my lips together. Mom's eyes are sad and I hate that I put that there but there's only so much I can do. She gives me one last hug and goes back inside the car. I look over my shoulder at Dad who's leaning against the car and looking around, lost in thought. A few kids try to approach him for an autograph but he shakes his head and waves them off. He probably wants to leave this place already. Everyone on campus has their phones out and are filming him and Dad hates having his privacy invaded.

I grab my suitcase and head for the residence building, passing Dad. He grabs my arm before I can walk away and takes a deep breath, trying one last time. "I wish things were different, son."

My jaw pulses. I can't help my anger. It's irrational but it needs to go somewhere and unfortunately, it seems to be at Dad. I yank away from his hold and look away. "Yeah, because that's going to fix this."

"Lucas—"

"Leave," My tone is bored and detached and this time he lets me walk away. There's a flash of regret that starts to build in my chest and I have the urge to turn around and apologize but my pride wins again. Fuck that. It won't change anything anyways.

I'm royally pissed off by the time I get to my dorm but what's new? Some people on my floor attempt to greet me but my scowl sends them scampering away. Nosy fuckers. Where on my face does it look like I give a fuck right now? I briefly notice a new girl moving in the room across from mine and she freezes above her box, mouth falling open when she looks at me. Hard to say if it's because she recognizes me or she thinks I'm fuck hot but either way I don't care. I walk into my dorm and find Zack already lounging on the couch and watching something on the TV.

"Hey," He sits up and levels me with a serious stare. "How's it going, man?"

"Don't give me that," I let my suitcase fall to the floor and stalk past him. "I'm sick of pity."

"I was just asking, asshole!" He calls after me as I slam my bedroom door shut. For the first time all day I crack a smile. That's more like it. I don't like being tip-toed around and lately there's been more of that than I can stomach.

I flop down on my bed, throwing an arm over my eyes. For the millionth fucking time I find myself wishing I could erase my memory and go back to when things were normal. My throat locks up again and I swallow hard, grateful no one can see me right now.

Five months ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.

It's in the genes, she told our family when we found out. Her mother had it and her grandmother had it and now she has it. She has breast cancer and every fucking day I want to die so she won't have to.

She says to be optimistic and that she's fighting hard. I know she is. She started chemo a month ago and even though it's painful she puts on a brave face for all of us. She's losing her hair but every time she pulls out a chunk of it she laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world. She randomly gets dizzy or breathless or weak and insists she's just being dramatic. Her optimism pisses the living fuck out of me but how am I supposed to be mad at her?

Enter Dad. The asshole that found out weeks before he told his kids. I know Mom asked him to keep that secret because she didn't want us to get distracted from our studies, or so she claims, but again, how the fuck am I supposed to be mad at her? She's the one with the fucking cancer. Besides, when Dad looked me in the eye and told me, kept a straight face as he admitted he'd been lying to me for weeks, every ounce of anger and pain I felt had nowhere to go except at him. Now that anger is only getting worse because Mom is getting worse so yeah, I fucking hate the guy. Bite me.

I've been a miserable piece of shit and I have no interest in turning myself around. Why do I owe anyone shit? My mother is getting sicker in front of my eyes and I have to put on a nice face so I don't offend anyone with my attitude? Fuck that. These people are lucky enough they have healthy parents so what the hell else do they need? They can live if I'm not exactly the nicest guy alive. I don't give two fucks if I'm picking fights, or fucking senseless, or failing school. None of it matters. Nothing matters anymore.

"Fuck!" I sit up and kick my mini-fridge as hard as I can. It shakes violently and falls over, making a loud crashing noise that everyone on this floor probably heard. But I'm not done yet. I grab all my textbooks and launch them at the wall one by one. I throw hard enough that there are cracks where the textbooks hit, the painting and plaster chipping away until there's a gaping hole. It's somehow not enough. I kick the frame of my bed over and over again, my face growing warm with anger and frustration. "Motherfucker! Fuck this!"

I push my hands through my hair and sink to the floor, breathing hard and fast. It's been a long time since I've felt in control of myself. I'm falling apart in front of my own eyes and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to stop myself from becoming this person who's cold and uncaring and so fucked up. But the thing is I don't even want to learn. I don't want to stop it because not giving a shit about anything is the only way I know how to block out this pain. I'll do anything to not feel the pain.

There's a knock on the door and my anger increases tenfold. Two minutes. Two fucking minutes to myself so I can feel whatever the fuck I want to feel. Why is that so much to goddamn ask for?

"Go the fuck away," I snarl.

"Open up!" It's a man's voice and I don't recognize it. "We're getting noise complaints. What's going on in there?"

Noise complaints? Fucking seriously? These people party until four am with music loud enough to melt your eardrums but me losing my shit in my room gets noise complaints? This is why I fucking hate the world and everyone in it. Everyone is selfish and only gives a fuck about themselves.

I get to my feet and stalk to the door, unlocking it and swinging it open. A guy in security uniform is standing in front of me with his arms crossed, looking pretty fucking sure of himself. Until I grab him by his throat and slam him against the wall. I tighten my grip around his fingers and lift him up until his feet are dangling off the ground. Guy is shorter than me so I take him up to eye-level and sneer.

"Take your complaints and shove them up your ass," I start in a low voice. He claws at my hands, growing red in the face. "If there's any room, that is. You're so goddamn stuck up I can't imagine what else is in there."

"Lucas!" Zack wraps his arm around my torso and yanks me back. Fucker is as strong as I am so he manages to rip me away and the security guard falls to the floor, coughing and sputtering. Zack shoves me back and gets in my face. "What the fuck? You can't go around hurting whoever the fuck you want. He was doing his job, you dick."

I cut my eyes away from him and look at the security guard. He's on his feet and glaring at me but the humiliation in his eyes is clear as day. I smirk, thoroughly enjoying that. I wonder how else I could fuck around with him.

"That's enough," Zack warns when he catches the look in my eyes. "You're going to get expelled if you keep this up and then what? You think that's going to help your mom?"

My body locks up so suddenly I'm not even breathing. Slowly, I drag my gaze to his face and my hands curl into fists beside me. Zack's face is hard as stone and refusing to let up. I respect that but it's too bad I don't like it. My arm shoots out and I clock him on the jaw less than a second later. He stumbles backward, probably not expecting that, and my respect is gone. He shouldn't have talked such a big game if he wasn't prepared to back it up.

"Keep her out of your fucking mouth," I seethe and grab him by the collar of his shirt. He's only a couple of inches shorter than me but he's not deterred, eyes locked on mine. My breathing is rugged and choppy as I try to get myself under control. I could hurt him bad if I wanted to and I want to. Just not enough. "Don't talk about her like you know her better than me. Don't think you know what she would want. She's my mother, not yours. Yours is sitting at home probably writing a book and baking cookies or some shit. Mine is hooked up to wires and fighting for her life while the doctors try to save her even though she has a twenty percent survival rate, even though her cancer is stage four and grade three which is the most invasive kind. You don't know shit, Hunter! You keep her out of your goddamn mouth!"

His jaw pulses, his breathing as hard as mine. "Fine. But just so you know, she asked me to look out for you this semester so I'm doing what she wants. I don't pretend to know anything."

I drop him so suddenly it's like I was burned. Damn it. Damn it. I look away and close my eyes briefly. I have half a mind to tear my best friend's face apart but if he's doing what Mom asked him to then I can't fight him on that. Doesn't mean it doesn't royally piss me off because what the hell? As if I didn't feel like enough of a fuck up now my best friend is babysitting me?

"Whatever," I mutter and finally notice the security guard standing off to the side and watching us. My anger spikes up again. "This a fucking slumber party? Want me to braid your hair?"

"We apologize for the inconvenience," Zack cuts in before I can say anything else and I snort. My ass, I apologize. "Is there any way I can convince you not to file a complaint?"

"He assaulted me!" The security guard points an accusative finger at me.

My lip curls. "Not my fault you're so goddamn bad at your job you couldn't defend yourself against a twenty-one year old."

"It won't happen again," Zack interrupts with a louder voice. He takes a deep breath and I know he's officially lost his patience with me. That's a rarity. Guy got his patience from Uncle Nate and those two could hold out for days when they're mad. I must be a piece of work. I turn away to hide my smirk because something tells me Zack wouldn't like that. I retreat back into my room as I hear him offering money to the security guard to keep quiet. I know he'll take it and I won't get in trouble. He saw the look in my eyes. If he tries anything I'd be more than happy for round two and he knows it.

I barely sit down on my bed before the door opens again and Zack stalks in. I grab the first thing my hand touches — my phone — and launch it at his face. He catches it without so much as a blink.

"I don't know why I put up with you," He mutters. "You're such a dick, Cage."

"Then leave me alone," I reply evenly.

"No, because that's what you want," He raises a brow. "You want everyone to leave you alone so you can feel shittier than you already do. You're trying to punish yourself."

"Fuck off," I mumble and try not to bristle. I fucking hate how well he knows me.

"I hate to break it to you but your day is about to get worse," He flops down on my desk chair and spins it to face me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, while you were busy hiding out at the summer cabin to drink and fuck and feel sorry for yourself, you failed to keep tabs on everyone back home."

"No, I didn't. I'm not that much of an asshole. I was only at the cabin a couple days every week but I was home the rest of the time."

"I don't mean with your family. I meant the rest of us."

"There's too many of you," I snort. I have four other uncles, all of my dad's best friends, and the kids all grew up with each other. There's a fuck ton of us and I'm hardly close to any of them besides Zack.

"Your parents didn't mention anything?" He asks curiously.

"About what?" I snap. Why does he insist on dragging this conversation out and making it unnecessarily dramatic?

Zack frowns and hesitates for a brief moment. "She's back."

My hand twitches. It's my only reaction and I stuff it in my pocket to hide it. I keep my voice bored. "Who?"

"Who else?" He rolls his eyes. "Olivia."

Motherfucker. The mention of her name alone makes me want to punch something. I feel a flurry of emotions but mostly it's anger. I sneer. "And I'm supposed to give a fuck?"

"You really didn't know?"

"No," I lie back against my pillows and look up at the ceiling so Zack can't see my face. I don't know if I can do a decent poker face so long as we're talking about her. "Haven't really been talking to my family these days. I only talk to Mom."

"Landon? Lizzie?"

"Landon is as miserable as I am. Lizzie's pregnant and overly emotional."

"And your mom really didn't say anything?"

I think about that for a moment. "She tried to get me to go the West house for a dinner couple weeks ago. She was adamant but I said no."

"That's when Olivia got back," Zack confirms. "She's done her dance program in Los Angeles, you know? It was only a high school gig."

"I don't care," I say and better believe I fucking mean it.

"You haven't seen her in four years. She's changed a lot."

"Still don't care."

"Luc," He sighs heavily. He doesn't say anything for a huge stretch of silence and I finally sit up on my elbows to narrow my eyes on him. There's something he doesn't want to say. I'm a second away from punching him again when he finally says, "She's here. At Boston U."

"Why?" I immediately demand. I get to my feet, already feeling so wound up. This is what she does to me. Drives me out of my fucking mind. Fuck, I hate her. "She'd never come here if she knew I went to school here."

"Nobody told her."

"My ass."

"No, seriously. Tia didn't tell her and she told the rest of us kids not to either."

"Why?" I demand again. My pulse speeds up with frustration. This can't be happening. She's really here?

"I don't know. I guess her and your mom are hoping you two will make up already."

"Not even when I'm dead," I promise and kick my bed frame. "Fuck! This is just what I fucking need."

"Lucas," He continues in a low voice. "There's more."

"What? What the fuck else could there be?" I barely get the sentence out when I hear it. A laugh. Her laugh.

My breath knocks out of me.

I don't mean for it to happen but suddenly I'm flooded with memories of all the times I used to make her laugh, laugh so hard she would topple over and try to catch her breath. And I'd always watch with a smile because it used to be my favourite sound in the world.

Not anymore.

Now her laugh sounds like nails on a chalkboard and I snap. The last of my patience completely unhinges and I swing my door open, taking long and fast strides out of my dorm. I hear Zack shout out for me in warning but I don't give a fuck. This is a goddamn nightmare and I keep waiting for the part where I wake up.

As soon as I step out into the main hallway I freeze. She's right there. In the dorm across from ours and talking to that chick I saw earlier. Her back is to me but I know it's her. Of course it's her. Her hair is short, she's a little bit taller, and her body is shapely in a way it wasn't when I last saw her, but I know it's her. And judging by her half unpacked suitcase beside her, she's moving in. Right across from me.

Her roommate's eyes flick up to me and they widen again. Olivia's head tilts right before she turns around. My gaze is already on her when she finally notices me.

I see the way she freezes up. Her shoulders tighten almost defensively but that's her only giveaway. Her face is impassive and unamused, like she doesn't care. And she probably doesn't. Because she hates me as much as I hate her. Those grey eyes are already burning with fire.

"That's, uh..." Her roommate stammers and drops her voice to a whisper but I still hear her. I'm too honed in on what's in front of me. "That's Lucas Cage."

"I'm aware," Olivia deadpans and I try not to startle at her voice. It sounds older and has that same twinge of huskiness her mother has. "I also don't give a shit."

Her roommate gasps just as my lip curls back and forms a sneer. "Fuck you."

And without a backward glance, I go back inside my dorm and slam the door shut. Doesn't hold a fucking candle to the way she left me.

__________________________

A/N

OK SO DON'T YELL AT ME. My OG readers who've read the original series, I'M SORRY. I know you officially hate me for what I did to Emily. Please don't ask me what's going to happen to her cause I obviously won't answer.

But I love the vibes in this story. I love how it's so dark and edgy and raw. I love that Lucas is an unfiltered asshole. He feels so real to me because of that. And I love that him and Olivia are hardcore enemies.

Told you you're going to hate this story before you love it...

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)