*Somewhat edited*

Italicized phrases with a * next to it mean it's in Elvish  

About thirty minutes ago, about two hours after sun high, it started to rain... Yes, rain. Cold, fat drops of rain. It didn't seem to bother the elves, but me being a part of the race of Men, I am bothered by it greatly. I had started being cold about ten minutes into the downpour.

My hair stuck to my face and neck and my clothes hung. I tried to squeeze myself closer to Legolas, trying to steal his body heat.

I would put the hood up on my cloak but it would not help. The air seemed to stick to my bones like a burr in a horses mane. My teeth started to chatter.

"I despise you," I say into Legolas's back grumpily.

"Why?" He grinned.

"For letting me be cold," I whined.

"I don't think I have control over the temperature in the air," he said softly.

"You should learn how to change that." The wind moaned and the raindrops stung like needles on my bare face.

He didn't chuckle like I thought he would but instead stayed silent like the grave. Something is plaguing his mind.

Finally, he spoke, "why do you want to do this? Go to Lórien, follow what your 'Ammë' says to do? You have an option on whether or not to help in saving Middle Earth, and yet you decide to go down this path that most likely includes strife, pain, and anguish." I was taken aback by the tone of his voice.

"I—." I thought for a moment, trying to put together my thoughts. My reason for going along with all of this is kind of private, and I'm still not totally sure I want to be doing this.

Just as I opened my mouth we heard a shout of urgency from ahead. The most peculiar sight met my eyes: a man robbed in brown clothing riding a sleigh pulled by rabbits, enormous rabbits at that.

The sleigh turned to the west, to where we are, and moved unnervingly fast.

"Who is that?" I hide behind Legolas' back.

"Radagast the Brown. He is one of the five Wizards," Duvaineth says, and if I didn't know better, I would guess that there is a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"A wizard?!" My voice goes up an octave. I have heard about the wizards: Saruman the White, Gandalf the Grey, Radagast the Brown, and the two blue wizards. Just the thought of them scares me, they could turn you into anything unnatural with the snap of their fingers. They intimidate me, yet I admit it would be cool to meet one. But now that I actually am, I just wish to disappear.

My hands tremble around Legolas' waist. I want to ask, 'can't we make him go away?' but the wizard may hear and I would sound childish... Even though to all of their eyes I would seem like a child. Even though I'm seventeen.

The wizard pulls his sleigh up beside us, leaving plenty of distance between us, although I felt like it is not enough. The grass swayed in anticipation.

"Legolas? Legolas Thranduilion?" Radagast asks in a slightly hyperactive voice. It took me aback, I was expecting a more deep, wise sound.

"Yes, I am thee. I did not expect to see you in these parts of the land," He says, his voice full of authority.

"I was just coming back from the Shire, where I had to give a message to Gandalf the Grey from Saruman the White, the head of our order," he stopped in his blubbering and cocked his head to look at Duvaineth and myself. "And, if I may ask, what business do you have with an elf-maiden and a girl? And who are they?"

"This is Duvaineth, who we met on our journey, and this is Lumornel... We travel to Lórien," Legolas says, as if hinting at something.

Radagast scrutinizes me with his bright eyes, they widen slightly and he mutters under his breath so quietly that I almost do not hear it, "hair of winter, eyes of green."

What? Surely I had heard him wrong, the words of the Orc came back to me. My brows furrow and I try to shrink into Legolas.

"Then I must be going, as to not delay you," he pauses, "would you like some mushrooms for the journey?" He reaches for his satchel.

"No, no. We mustn't," Legolas declines and I silently thank him, I do not acquire a fond taste for mushrooms.

"No, I insist. It's the least I can do," with that he throws a bag, with I'm assuming mushrooms, at Duvaineth and she catches it with ease, though she looks annoyed.

"I must warn you, orcs have poisoned these lands. We have been ambushed twice," Legolas states, it's surprising how different he is around other people.

"Do not fret over me, I have Rhosgebel rabbits! No orc or Warg can catch me!" Radagast laughed, "go now to Lorien, make haste!" he whipped the reins, making the air swish. The rabbit's feet thump on the ground as they run off, taking Radagast with them. 

"That was not what I was expecting," I frowned. He was so hyper that just being around him drained my energy.

"What did you expect?" Legolas said as we started off again, his voice soft.

"I don't know... maybe someone less... energetic... wiser," I thought.

"Radagast is wise... in his own way," Legolas stated. I smiled, it was very polite of him to say that.

As we rid with the swaying of the horse, the sun sank lower and lower into the cloudy sky. The rain had stopped and it looked very... beautiful. Eerie too.

The rain had disappeared but the clouds did not. They loomed all around us with angry faces, but the sun shone through some of the clouds, causing some rays of pure sunlight to shine down on the grass in some areas.

I was just wondering when we were going to stop and set up camp when Legolas said, "we should find a place to spend the night at."

I saw Duvaineth nod. After a couple minutes, she quipped up, "over there looks like a nice spot."

She pointed to the side of a hill. Out here, away from the protection of the trees, there really wasn't any good place to rest and hide from orcs, but the hill offered protection from the wind, which I guess is good enough.

I wrapped my green cloak around me as tight as it would go, but it did not add any warmth, it just kept the outside chill away for the time being. 

I looked to Legolas, about to ask about a fire, even though there is no wood or fuel for a fire anywhere nearby, but he seemed to know what I was about to ask, "we make no fire tonight, I do not wish to attract the presence of any more orcs," he spoke. At this, I reasoned that having no fire would be sensible but my heart sunk, no fire means no warmth. Having no warmth makes the mood sullen, even for the elves who would be fine without the fire. 

I sat with my knees to my chest, trying to fit them underneath my cloak, my chin on my knees. I looked out over the horizon where to dotted night sky meets the black silhouette of the land. I could see the outlines of the trees in the distance piercing the sky, standing like towers. 

A foreboding doom settled over me, my brain seemed to take in at this moment what may happen over my journey. It may not stop at Lórien, and if so, what would happen next? Is there no way of knowing?

The world at that moment seemed to become colossal, I am just a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things. The air around me seemed to press in on me, trying to make me smaller, and my breathing became shallower. I squeezed my eyes shut.

Everything is going to be fine, okay Lumornel. It is all going to be just fine.

But how is everything going to be fine? I don't even know what's going to happen to me, to the people around me? Would we all die in a sudden, horrible death? My throat started to close, making me feel like I'm being choked.

And how would I be able to continue on finishing this journey, whether it ended in Lórien or somewhere else? I'm not strong enough, I'm just a commoner, a small, ignorant, unwanted girl. I can't even help in moving water to the bathing tubs, I can barely move the large rocks in the garden.

My eyes stung from trying to hold back tears while my stomach tried to contain all the butterflies around the knot down there.

I tried to just focus on the next step: getting to Lorien. But even that seemed too big, a lot could happen in the next few days. We could be attacked by orcs, or better yet, wargs. We could be delayed, one of us could get hurt, or--

"Lumornel? Are you alright?" Duvaineth's voice held worry in it.

I cringed, not knowing what to say. Do I say no? If I said that then she would question me why and I really don't want to explain why. But if I say yes, then she'll most likely know I'm lying. I consider her a friend, but I just don't want to talk, talking makes it worse.

"I don't know," I settle for, I almost burst into tears. Why can't they leave me alone, I don't want them to see me like this. I opened my eyes and look up at the sky, trying to let the tears settle in my eyes, not willing them to fall down my cheeks for everyone to see.

I put my hands on my neck, running them through my scalp, and resting them at the base of my neck.

"I... think she's having an anxiety attack," Legolas gulped. During the time I had with him in Mirkwood, back home, I had told him that I occasionally have these anxiety attacks. I think I get them because of my hard life; never knowing my real parents, being the only human in Mirkwood, being expected to be perfect like all of the other elves.  Or maybe it's because of some reason I don't know yet. 

I looked down, just past my knees, making them turn blurry. My breathing turned irregular as I started to rock back forth slightly.

"Hey, uh, Lumornel... just calm down, everything will be fine," Legolas said, but his voice is full of worry and uncertainty.

"No, it won't," I whimpered. I'm burning up, but at the same time, I feel cold. 

"Don't say that. I can promise you that you'll make it through this, you'll be fine," Legolas whispered.

"Y-you don't know that. H-how can you possibly know that?" I teared up and looked at Legolas. He hesitated, not knowing what to say. He knew what I meant, I wasn't talking about the anxiety attack, I'm talking about this journey. I don't want to go on the journey, but I also want it. I don't what to go through all the hardship, but at the same time, I want to be noticed, to prove everyone wrong that I'm not a silly, weak girl... but... I am a weak girl. I sob escaped my throat. I'm just a stupid, little girl. I can't help anyone, they would be better off without me. They don't need me.

Not knowing what to do, Legolas puts a hand on my back and starts rubbing. I don't tell myself that everything will be fine because I don't know if everything will be fine, so instead, I try focusing on the path his hand takes; small, soothing circles. 

"Breath... breathe..." Legolas softly ordered. I followed his commands and tried to steady my uneven, shallow breathing. These new breaths were shaky, but I didn't focus on that. I closed my eyes and relaxed my shoulders.

I sniffed, wiped the stray hair out of my face, and straightened my legs a little, but only so that they were still bent. I then put my arms under my knees.

"I'm okay now," so, you can go away, I finished in my head. Duvaineth seemed to get the hint, and she went off to clean her weapons. Legolas, however, stayed right where he was, keeping a watchful, yet worry-full, eye on me. I tried to ignore his gaze as I slid onto my side, in a fetal position and tried to fall asleep.

"Lumornel..." Legolas softly said, like falling leaves.

"Hm?" I hummed softly, I'm already half asleep, dreaming about fantasies that'll never happen.

There was a pause, and in that time I fell asleep, but not before I heard, "never mind," in between the veil of awake-fullness and sleep.

••••••••

"My brother, my captain, my King."

                  -Boromir (the Brave)

Sorry about that quote, the end of this chapter put me in a sullen mood so I just had to quote Boromir. Btw I feel like we should all call Boromir, Boromir the Brave... Because in his last moments alive he was brave enough to stay fighting for those he believed in. And not all men are brave enough to apologize (when he says he's sorry to Frodo)

Anyways... Imma rant for a sec. So I know some of you are tired of the female main characters in LotR fanfics that cry a lot and are weak but... I don't think it's all together realistic for someone who would be going on this type of adventure not to cry or show weakness, everyone does have a weakness and it takes courage to let people know it. And, yes, some people can pull it off, like not having the main character crying because some of the characters are strong and maybe they have experienced things like this before or they have a reason to be strong... But I think having a main character who is weak, trying to be strong, just makes the story richer... If ya know what I mean. (And plus, it gives Legolas a reason to comfort her, therefore getting closer to her.) and I also think that girls, or people in general, who start off weak become stronger than most people in the end because they have had a taste of life that no one else really tastes, like being made fun of (being bullied,) going through rough times (parents divorced or dead, etc,) and/or learning that being weak doesn't get you though life.  (You can probably guess that I've been through a lot just by this paragraph)

Sooo... Anyways... I forgot what I was gonna say.... Oh yeah! Sorry that it's taken me awhile to update, I had the end of this chapter planned out entirely different but then my brain went like 'oops! Sorry for the explosion of the brain juices'

So... Yeah... 

Thrandy out!

... I don't know why I said that. 

Pls let me know what you think! I would love the votes and comments! (No hate pls, if you must, give me constructive criticism)

Novaer mellyn!