RPOV

Life doesn't always go on like a perfect fairy tale dream. Take it from me. After the whole Tasha thing, i thought me and Dimitri would finally have some time for ourselves. But then Ivashkov had to come and put on more work and tension by marrying Sydney. Dont get me wrong, I love their pair, at least for the fact that Adrian got over me. Four months after all their melodrama were much more happy and peaceful more like heavenly. Its more than what words could describe when you wake up in your own personal Russian God's arms. My dream to guard Liss was finally more fun than I ever thought it would be and even Sparky was a good brother. Sydney kept Ivashkov at bay when it came to him annoying me and me throwing punches, so it was all a good perfect family picture with Eddie and Jill's love life in the background. But luck never chose to stay with me before I had Dimitri and it had different plans now too.

Some time after this perfect lifestyle, things changed, not just with my overtime work, but also with Dimitri and everyone else.Strigoi attacks had decreased as soon as me and Dimitri were declared head guardians. With all of other work Lissa's royal relationship stuff forced more work on me as a royal guardian. My duties were packed and Christian was away half the time taking my god away with him. We were barely able to see each other in a whole day. The only contact we had was while passing each other through the courts or in planning the security layout of the palace. Liss and Sparky stopped paying attention to me at all and Jill was away. The Ivashkov's were always on one of their romantic escape plans so Adrian and Syd were out of question. Though Syd did call me even when she was away, it wasn't like she could talk to me for a long time with Ivashkov distracting her and also I didn't want to burden her with my love life or even my family matters. The continuous ignorance eventually woke up the Zmey in me and I did something which changed my life. I started spying on my friends and my rarely-with-me boyfriend.

Lissa, Sparky and Dimitri were in the royal garden with a woman. She was tall and pale. A moroi. Apparently this was supposed to be a secret meeting because I didnt know anything about it and Lissa was supposed to be sleeping while I did her paperwork. Dimtri's velvety laugh reached my ears as I positioned myself behind the nearest bush. I wasn't able to see the woman's face. It wasn't a fake laugh, it was one of his rare laughs. It was MY favourite laugh. a sudden pang of jealousy and anger coursed through me.I clenched my fists as he pulled the woman near and kissed her passionately. The way he kissed me. I had to grit my teeth hardly so that i didnt go screaming and punching. My chest ached with sudden pain which I saw. I clutched my stomach and let the silent tears flow.

"I have an announcement to make" Lissa was wrapped up with christian on the bench

"What?" I glared at the girl through my hiding spot. My usual anger on not adressing Lissa came to me before I reminded myself that my sister herself enjoyed that my boyfriend was cheating on me.

"We're going on a two week trip to Hawaii"Lissa's eyes sparkled with excitement. I didn't know about this. Wasn't she supposed to inform me about such a big plan?

'Wasn't she supposed to be a sister?' I cursed the subconsious mind for bringing me back to my original problem. I took a deep breath and returned my attention what Sparky was saying.

"What about that blood whore?"

It took every amount of 'stay-and-get-the-story' sense in me to NOT barge in their and show him what a freakishly good at beating up blood whore I am.

"She wont be coming, she will be thinking that I put trust in her to look after my work while we are gone to settle an important business relationship at Russia."Lissa smiled wickedly at them

"That would be great. Thank you Lissa" The sudden forgotten pain shot through me tightening my stomach and chest. I was really hoping Dimitri to just be an internal spy for me. To come home to me and tell me how much all of the people for whom I have risked my lives hate me and don't value me.More forgotten tears ran down my cheeks as I heard Dimitri's voice.

Hell! I had saved Lissa's life more times than I can count not to mention almost killed myself in the process. I had even saved that bloody moron from Spokane and Dimitri.......he was my world, my soul, my universe. I had never thought he would be such a douchebag. Well, did I ever think my own sister to be such a bitch? Or even that Dimitri would give himself to someone else. I was about to turn away when the girl's voice stopped me. It was annoyingly girlish. What has happened to your choice Dimitri?!

I just find out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, my sister is not really my sister, my brother is a douchebag and that's what comes to my mind?. Great I do need a mental checkup.

"Why do you keep her around then? I mean shouldn't you just throw her away if you hate her so much"

I would have raised an eyebrow if I knew how to do that. A dumb girl with too girlish voice. Did she even know about me? But I have to admit that it was million dollar question.

"Why do I keep her around? are you crazy?" Lissa burst in surprise. She still had a doubt even AFTER the pincushion asked why can't anyone throw me out?

"It's common sense' she is the most feared guardian ever to walk in these courts till now. Strigoi have almost stopped trying to kill me because of her. And besides i need someone to take a bullet for me."

"In your dreams bitch" I muttered careful to be low. Some leaves got squashed into pulp as my fists tightened around them.

"What about her parents?"

"Of course not. She dosen't even no her mother is pregnant. They will be changing their names so that rose can't find them, Don't wanna ruin the child's future, you know?"

My heart stopped as I absorbed Sparky's words. My mom was pregnant and they didn't want me around my own sister. A laugh got caught up in my throat as my mind replayed my graduation night. My father had thrown a party because he was proud of me and now they didn't want me around?

"What about you?" my head snapped up at the same time as Dimitri looked at the girl. This was totally unexpected for two reasons. A) Wasn't she supposed to know the truth already since they were in relation? And B) As eager I was I did not want to hear the truth. Even though I was known for absorbing bitter truths this was something I didn't wish to listen. And by the looks of Dimitri something he didn't wish to tell. A small part of my heart tingeled at his hesitation. Maybe I was just happy that he did have a feeling however small in his heart for me. Maybe, just a spark, but that's all it starts to blaze a fire. He opened his mouth to speak but closed back again, maybe thinking of right words.I closed my eyes getting ready for the blow. I wanted to remember Dimitri as perfect as he was with me. True. But I also needed to know why this was happening to me. I wanted Dimitri to be the perfect man in my life, unflawed by the mistakes I quickly forgave. I didnt want the image shattered but I needed it.

"I don't love her.....but the things I did to her were far more than horrible. This is my punishment to fake love to her. Hell, I dont even sleep with her and the last time I did was for her body."

I had known he wouldnt love me but sleeping with me? That was the possibility I didnt considered.

I whirled around and ran to our room. I shut the door behind me and replayed everey word they said, every moment we had spent together, every moment i had loved them. I wanted my soul devoid of them. Devoid of every good emotion i possesd for them. I had cared for them and they had faked it. They had used me. And my decision was made.

If I was going down I was going to do it the Rose Hathway style. And they were gonna regret they ever had that conversation

cyv\