My glasses were placed on my nose before I grabbed my phone, turning the music off. I was crazy about Avicci's song ...

So wake me up when it 's all over, when I'm wiser, when I'm older ...

I hummed with just one of the melodies and finally threw the thing into my backpack. I nervously made ​​my way to my Range Rover. How I loved this 'old' thing. It was my first car, as I said, and I loved it from day to day even more. Only I wasn't so sure if I would have thought this way already a few weeks ago. Anyways, I didn't know if it was the steak or my nervousness that caused me abdominal pain, but to my shaky hands, I noticed that I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

Yes, yes I would prefer to rip my clothes from my own body and be Harry. Just be who I am. Harry Styles, with the curls and the numerous tattoos that I've inked my skin with in the past few years. But to go through with my plan purposefully, I had to stop my desire and just see the positive things in my disguise. Actually it gave me a lot of advantages. Not only in terms of London, no, I wasn't known as 'Marcel' in the world as well. I could really be happy that London had no friends except me, of course. Otherwise she could show the image of 'my brother' around and some would may recognize me as Harry. Yes, yes, Marcel , you may be a quiet good thing.

***

For the second time I stood in front of the door of London's house, ringing the doorbell. Even though I was sure that I had turned into Marcel, I looked just for safety in the little window of the door, scanning my reflection. Yes, it wasn't a dream, I really had my makeover. You're getting crazy, Styles. Eleanor once again said inside of me.

In the glow of the hall I saw through the window a little shadow. London came down the stairs and opened the door for me.

"Marcel !" Her joy could no one take away in any case. I didn't want to go too far in the frist few minutes, so I didn't say that much.

"Hey , London, nice to meet you !" I hugged her tightly, for the first time ever.

She had changed her clothes from the previous concert wear - to comfortable sleeping clothes, wearing funny slippers that had cat ears. As much as I love cats ... I immediately had to think about Dusty ... I hadn't seen her since I no longer lived at home and my mother and sister had taken care of her.

"You like 'em ?" She giggled and I must admit that her giggle sounded like music to my ears.

Oh god, Styles, you're really in love with her, right? Or not ? Or you are? A mixture of El and myself performed a funny conversation in my mind. Because am I in love with her now? or... Was it more than just a friendship ? Man, why, why must everything be just as complicated as ever. Even though I no longer had the pressure to be a superstar, I still had problems with my feelings to recognize and accept  them. Also, I didn't know if London even felt something for me, if she felt as attracted to me as I was to her?

I nodded in my absence before she let me in, following her up the stairs to her room.

"H-how was your day ?" Oh crap! Now I come back to this damn stuttering!

Luckily, I'm a nerd, so I'm allowed to do that. Marcel the nerd can talk this way, no worries at all!

I wanted to slowly approach the matter and question indirectly, whether what she wanted to tell me or if she actually wanted to say something that was related ro the gig of the evening. It was rather late, and London's face told me that she was very tired. And yet she had ordered me to be at her's .

"Horrible!" She yawned. HORRIBLE ?

"Why? What happened?" My tone was a little too rough and angry for Marcel's taste.

" I- " For a moment, she frowned, then she continued. "I just ..." She sighed. "My dad just wanted to go to this event with me ... And... you remember when I told you about him and his plans about going with me to a Pink Floyd concert ? "

 I nodded.

"Well, he did the same ... he promised me to go to this event and then he left me alone in the arena, because he had to drive back to my parent's company to solve a problem. "

She sat down on her bed and pulled her legs to her chest, clutching them with her small, delicate arms. She was a little taken off, I noticed it already in the last few days ... not much, but something changed. I looked at her closely and knew that I had to fear nothing bad, because London was deeply injured and I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I was only there to help her and to stand with her. A wave of relief rushed through my veins. But my heart clenched as I noticed that small tears formed in her eyes.

"You know this feeling when you're really disappointed? And the reason is your own dad ?" Several tears rolling down her cheeks and her lips began to tremble slightly.

"No... no ... I don't," I whispered, biting my lower lip.

London looked at me helplessly, then she sniffed and stared at the little hearts on her blanket.

"If Hrry Styles wouldn't have been there, than I may be still there...somewhere where I actually didn't want to be anymore." She mentioned me, Harry...but she also didn't want to be there... if she only knew that I am one and the same person...

"But I'm here for you, London, you remember this? I am your best friend!" I told her. And if I'm not mistaken, it was the first time that I had ever said something like that to her. I didn't want to talk about Harry anymore...Marcel was on the road and London needed his help, pronto.

She probably thought she was just a friend from school for me or just a simple friend, but don't they say that you can be who you really are around your best friends ? I know that I hadn't taken the most important step, to present her the real me, in terms of my appearance, but it's not about looks. And London had managed to bring me back to earth with just a single bump. She brought back the old Harry to the boys, Simon and all our amazing fans. Of course, I hadn't quite reached my goal, but I was close. And all that just because of her. She just didn't know it. And as much as I wanted to tell her at that moment, I couldn't do it, because it just was not the right time, and I wasn't ready for it either.

I moved to the bed and sat down carefully beside London. She sobbed loudly and didn't even tried to fight back the tears or to remove them from her cheeks.

"For my whole life, I've been rejected," she whispered softly, so that I could hardly understand.

"But you have me now," I whispered back, absently laid a hand on her right knee, which was the closest to my body and she still had firmly attracted to her chest, pushing my glasses up on my nose, just a bit higher.

"Marcel, you are so kind! You deserve so much more respect and love. "

To hear those words from her mouth was like a miracle and it possibly struck me like a flashlight would hit the earth. I didn't know what was the reason, why this sentence intrigued me like this... I thought just because London is the first, and I really mean the first, person who didn't care about money nor looks, but about the inner values​​. The personality played the main role in her life ... and I had been liking it from the start.

"Thank you, London, and you are a beautiful, young woman, who deserves parents who care about their daughter, " I took my hand from her knee and put my whole arm around her shoulder.

She leaned against my chest and even shed a few countless tears, without that I noticed it, before she peacefully fell asleep. I carefully lay her back, covered her with her ​​heart-blanket and slipped her kitten slippers from her feet. Then I sat down on the chair at her desk and watched her beautiful appearance in detail ...

I may sound like a stalker, but maybe just like a... lover ...