Hey guys! Hope you all are enjoying the book so far!

Dedicated to @AstraMeir for the beautiful cover! Thank you so much sweetie!❤

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CHAPTER 11

What comes easy won't last and what lasts, won't come easy! I think I learned this the hard way, like most of the other lessons in life.

When I walked away, the last glimpse I saw of Jack, broke me down. He had always, only been the reason for my smile and I made him cry. I shouldn't have told him anything, not that it would help, but maybe some things are best, hidden... At least we won't have to face the harsh consequences of the truth!

Sighing, I make my way to my classroom, looking like life has just been drained from me. I try to scurry to the back so I can slip away unnoticed, but as I proceed I bump into Michelle.

Michelle Green is my roll order partner! She was my first 'new' friend in college, and we bonded pretty well. She seemed to be this weird combination of 'crazy-sane' which I quite like about her and most of all, she is levelheaded. She is someone with whom you can have an honest conversation without having to listen to half-arsed lies, just to please you! That's another thing, she never tries to please anybody!

'Do I need any more reasons to like this girl?'

"Amy darling!" She greets with a smile, highlighting her eyes with a sparkle. She always screams life, fun and everything nice. Everyone likes her, well pretty much everyone, for she is real and honest!

That's a hard combination if I'm to say, cause sometimes to be nice we must hide the truth, the truth that might not be 'nice', and saying hard truth makes you no longer nice, so it pretty much leaves you stuck in between the devil and the sea.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I see Michelle waving her hands in my face with an amused expression.

"Oh, hey Michelle." I greet with a half-hearted smile and attempt to slip away to the back, when she grabs my arm and turns me around.

"Why don't you sit with me today? It's been a while since that happened." She says with a warm smile, one that hints she could see through the fake smile, the pain hidden and the tears threatening to surface. I'm in no mood to argue, so I nod and sit down beside her.

I notice the majority of the students leaving for their Spanish and other language classes. Linda, Laura and almost the whole gang chose Spanish while I was the only one who chose French in that group.

I turn around, shifting uncomfortably in my seat when I spot a familiar face, Betty! I didn't know she takes French. I make a mental note to focus more around me rather than get embarrassed every time I tell my classmates I don't know them.

The teacher walks in, her hair in a neat braid and her skirt looking pret- ah, it's the least of my concerns now.

I bend down into the book and shut my eyes, hoping to forget everything and maybe, get some sleep. After about five minutes, I hear Michelle calling my name out, so I turn to her and smile, a goofy one.

"You sleeping?" She asks, trying to control her laughter.

"No, pole-dancing." I respond sleepily with a grumpy face.

She looses control and starts laughing out loud, obviously causing the teacher to look at us. I quickly lift up my head a wee-bit and pretend to focus while she fake-coughs, trying to cover up, and looks like the lady buys it! She turns around and continues scribbling something on the board.

'Nice save, but she's the one who got us in trouble in the first place!'

After that, I doze off again, this time after instructing Michelle to not make any noise to divert the teacher's attention towards us and she does understand that, which I am glad for.

I wake up when the bell rings and blink for a good five seconds to adjust my view to the bright light.

"Oh you're up, I was just about to lock you in." Michelle says while grinning.

"How sweet of you to do that!" I retort dryly, as I find no energy for humor.

I get up, pack my things and decide to head out to our lunch spot, knowing that Natty will be there, in a while, hopefully.

On reaching there, I sit down on the grassy ground, the birds' chirping, calming my mind to an extent. I do have a terrible habit of over thinking things and when left alone, that penchant multiplies ten fold.

I feel a sudden shake of my body as I notice hands on my shoulders, rocking it and a pair of confused eyes.

"Amy, you have to stop zoning out all the while! It's been ten minutes since we've been talking to you, making a fool of ourselves."

I analyze what she says and wait! What?
Ten minutes! Fricking impossible!

"Stop exaggerating." I frown, showing my nonamusement at her claims.

"I thought so..." She states as though she knew it was coming, and then flashes her mobile screen in my face.

"Wha-oh wow!" My eyes widen as I notice the numbers etched on the screen. 10:13

"Yeah, we set a timer to see how long you'd take to snap back to reality and then Natty got bugged." States Lau, clearly amused.

"You guys are so jobless." I say through muffled giggles.

"So says the princess of the lost world!" Natty chimes, in a mock-flat tone.

"I'm hungry, let's eat!" I nudge and completely forget what happened a while ago, laughing and chatting happily with my friends, letting go of everything that bothered me, maybe for a short while. After all, that's what life is all about! Enjoying the little things while it still last.

What they say is true, friends do make you forget everything, maybe for a while, but it's way better than pills so I'm not complaining!

.......................

A week passes by after all that and things have gotten better. Jack seems okay, a little restraint and his smile doesn't often reach his eyes, but he's recovering and I'm glad for it. Since they rejected my 'course-change' as it is my core subject, I still have to bear with Nathan. I do see him a lot but slowly, I've learned to ignore him though it hurts to do that.

And me, well I've been better but am definitely not at my worst so, I guess, I'm in a good place.

Currently, I'm late! Well, there's not really been a day where I am early, except maybe one, which I definitely don't need to think about right now. I'm driving up real fast and praying that I don't kill myself or anybody else today. I'm late and I wish like crazy there would be some other lazy ass such as me who will accompany me to class and you know, of course, share the lecture I'm about to hear!

I turn into the street where the tuition building is and am quite relieved when I-

Is that a motor bike I see in front of me? That means... I have company! God bless that person, whoever the hell he or she maybe!

I happily drive up closer and closer, pounding down on the accelerator waiting to see who it is. As I move up closer, two figures come into view!

Okay, make that double company! Looks like Lady Luck finally shines upon me!

I hurry up, gasping for breath as I feel we're half way there and I'm in line with the bike. I turn sideways and face the reality and at the very moment, the person turns to make eye contact!

I mentally curse myself for all the sweet words I said a while ago! Screw you Lady Luck! I know you hate me, you don't have to prove it every time!

Stella! That bitch, clinging onto some guy like her life depends on it! Well, honestly, I don't care about the guy. Why blame the poor thing for something she did?

The second my eyes meet hers, I scoff and quickly turn away, not wanting to torture my eyes for another second. I increase the pressure on the accelerator and pace through, not wanting to even see her again. I realize I'm going too fast and that the building is too close, but luckily I pull the brakes fast enough and I live to see another day.

I quickly park and proceed to run upstairs as fast as I can, not even bothered about the lectures anymore.
"Amy!"

I hear my name being called and debate on whether to turn around or not. Then I realize something, that is​ not her voice!

"Amy!"

"Hey!" I greet Phoebe as she walks beside me.

"Did you see that?" She asks in off-pitched tone laced with humor.

"See what?" I ask, completely confused of what she intends.

"On the bike." She says flat.

Oh god! Do I have to spend the rest of the day talking or hearing about that? I don't think so...

"Yeah, my sad luck!" And I go on to narrate the past few minutes of my miserable life, as we are walking to class.

We reach class and luckily, we escape unscathed from the lectures on timing and discipline in life. I know it's ironic as the last time I said it, I wanted to kill myself the next second.

Class starts with Mr Gonzales scribbling away numbers on the board and talking gibberish! I have to still bear with the math torture, as unfortunate as my life is at the moment. So as of now, my aim to just drag myself through, without getting caught for sleeping in the monster's class.

I feel somebody nudge me as I almost fall into a tiny slumber. I ignore it and decide to sleep. Then, the person nudges me again. Annoyed and sleep-deprived I look up, to see Phoebe staring at me.

"What?" I ask wearily.

"Did you see the guy? Wasn't he fat?" Phoebe asks laughing.

"Whhhaaaattt?" I swear, if I have coffee in my mouth I would spit it out at the speed of light!

Phoebe seems interested in the conversation, which is quite odd considering her nature, but most importantly, she wakes me up from my 'almost' peaceful slumber to discuss the looks of the guy whose girlfriend has fair chances of dying at my hands.

I manage to calm down somehow and look at her, with disbelief pretty evident in my eyes.

"I didn't really look at him, as I said, I turned around the moment I saw her." I nonchalantly say, hoping she takes the hint and leaves me to sleep in peace.

But looks like Phoebe needs help with that, major help, considering how she continues to talk about the bitch and her guy or whoever he is!

Well, if you haven't got it yet, I'm not the only one who hates Stella, and it doesn't limit to Phoebe too, half of our class hates her, for her nature and her lack of consideration for other people's feelings. Natty did like her once upon a time and so did I if I were to be honest, but that's for another day.

So I just sit there, listening to Phoebe ramble some shit or the other about her, which I can't quite say I disagree with though. I heave a sigh of relief when the day's done, and all I think of is the warm comfortable bed at home.

AFTER A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP

I wake up to the sound of my stupid brother's alarm, yet again! That idiot, when will he ever grow a brain at least the size of a pea?

But it's better this time, as it's 5.45 am and quite close to my wake up time, so I decide to let him live for another day. I groan and drag myself to the bathroom.

I'm done with all my daily chores and after shoving myself with a quick breakfast and gulping some milk, I hurry to the bus stop. I'm late!

Class goes by as awry as usual as I try my best and more, to prevent my head from banging onto the table from sleep. Finally, lunch time arrives!

I get up and grab my things to leave when I notice someone and my eyes go wide open!

"Natty!" I scream from across class as I spot her at the entrance to my class! It's the rarest of the rare sights to see her here! She never leaves her class until the teacher and all students leave, and the room literally asks her to get out!

"How come you here?" I ask as I approach her.

"Well, class got over early and I just thought I'll drop by to pick you, for once." She giggles.

"Lucky me, and your class to finally get rid you!" I chortle and she hides a smile, trying to act pissed at what I said.

"Let's go and wait for the rest of them in the cafeteria." She suggests and I nod and we walk over, talking about random things.

"Hey Nat! Guess who I saw yesterday when I prayed to have company as I was late."

"Um... Phoebe? Cause I saw the two of you going in together, late." She finishes, or so I thought.

"And after that, your best buddy entered!" She finished with smirk and a idiotic grin.

Aghh! Does she hate or love me, I have serious doubts now! She always gets on my nerves by calling that bitch my bestie cause, once upon a time, for a period of 20days, we could say that was true. I'm not one to go with the crowd and hate someone, I only do that if I have a valid reason, as hate is a powerful word and reasons make them stronger.

"Shut up." I frown, punching her in the stomach as hard as I can, which seems to have no effect on her lady-hulk body!

We finally reach the cafeteria. I look around and spot Jack at the counter, with about two costumers so I head over to him with Natty tagging along.

"Hey Jack!" I greet with a huge smile that probably makes me look creepy.

"Jacky boy! Hey!" Natty greets with a giggle.

"Hey you two!" He smiles.

"Pancakes and coffee." I order up and move around so Nat can place her order. I turn around, scanning the area for a decent place to sit. Again my eyes catch fire when I see, her! Why does she pop up everywhere I look?

I notice Nat staring at me and I realize I haven't told her the story of my sad miserable life, which I'm sure she will enjoy...

"You ladies needn't wait! I'll get it to your table." He offers and we smile in return and I drag Nat to a table, which is right next to Tresa's table but since the cafeteria is crowded, I'm left with no choice. As we near them, we both smile casually and then get back to minding our own business.

I narrate the entire tiny incident, pausing many times to give Nat a flat stare and frown at her amused face. I also tell her about Phoebe and the weird curiosity that confused me to no end, it seems to confuse her too.

"Yeah, maybe it's the guy she posted pics with on Facebook that they were talking about. Her new boyfriend, some Dan or Phil or something." She states when I finish.

"Nat please, spare me the horror! I don't care about her, or her life, or her boyfriend, or her pet cat, or dead fish. I already wasted quite some time discussing about her, so let's make better use of our time now." I groan.

"Your order ladies." Says Jack interrupting our conversation, which we acknowledge with a smile and he moves over to some other table.

We continue bantering until we hear the bell ring, which signals the end to our pretty much useless talk. I wave her on and walk to class.

Forty minutes of non-stop lecture, results in a classroom full of students hugging their bags or desks as pillows as they drool away in a peaceful sleep.

The bell finally rings, and that much-awaited noise seems to raise the spirits of the sleepy students as they quickly perk up and start bantering happily on their way out, some galloping down the stairs in some non-existent race.

As for me, I drag my bag and pack up stuff with my usual sleepy demeanor and sweep my feet across the floor, causing an annoying rhythm.

I wait for Natty by our tree after dropping her a text. I sit down on the stone bench right beside the tree, leaning my hunched and stressed back on to the tree for support. As I keep staring out at the roads, I feel my eyes getting heavier as sleep drapes it like a blanket and slowly, I can feel the ease as my eyes shut tight.

I suddenly wake up with a thud and an ache running through my cheeks. I open my eyes to find myself on the pavement, surrounded by a couple of students some with worried faces and others stifling laughs. I have no idea how I fell and hit my cheek! I rub my eyes and continue scanning faces when I spot a confused looking Natty. Thank god she is finally here!

The students slowly disperse and I'm left with a freakish looking Natty, annoyed Lau and others with not very pleasant expressions either.

"What the hell happened to you!?" Nat asks with a little anger and little concern scribing her voice.

"I fell asleep, and then fell down! Now let's go!" I say with nonchalance.

Natty rolls her eyes but finally agrees and we head out of college and start walking down the street opposite college that leads to the bus stop.

I think that fall knocked the sleep right out of me, as I feel a lot more active. Maybe I should wake up on the floor every morning...

Currently we're walking down with Natty talking about how eve teasers and random guys on the street staring her up, scare her like crazy. I can't agree more!

It's just so odd and creepy to have some guy stare you up shamelessly, not a concern in the world that he looks sick doing that, or the fact that he's terrifying a girl to an extent where she's scared to even leave the house. Cat-calling, whistling, abusive nick names, body shaming all these just derail a girl's morale to that extent, that sometimes, the dent left is just unchangeable. Checking out would be fine, if subtle but some people just stand right in front of you and look you top to bottom and back with a vicious lusty glint in their eyes that could well be compared to savage animals. That honestly scares the hell out of me!

"Amy! Natty! Wait up." We both halt our serious discussion and turn around to find Tresa walking up to us.

"Hey!" We both greet in unison with a half smile.

"Actually, she wants to talk to you." Tresa says in a rushed manner. She moves out a bit to reveal the devil incarnate, Stella.

What does she-

"Who the hell are you to go around talking about my boyfriend? Who gave you any rights to call him fat, you skinny piece of shit!" Before I can complete my thoughts, she hurls abuses at me and it takes me a good second to recognize what the hell is going on!

What the fuck is she even talking about!?

"Excuse me, what the fuck are you talking about?" I ask, absolutely baffled of why she's abusing me, considering that fact that I haven't spoken to her in two years.

"Don't pretend like you know nothing! You go around spreading the news about my boyfriend, call him fat and make jokes and talk bullshit about him! Who even gave you the rights? It's my life and I can do whatever I want! Who are you to tell he's not the right guy for me! Can't you mind your own business you dark bitch?" She yelled looking straight at my face, with a stinky expression, in the middle of a busy street.

Wha-what? Is she in godamn kindergarten! You know what, that is enough bullshit! I don't care to listen this crap anymore.

"Whoa! Hold it there! Firstly, I only care about the people I like and once you're out of that list, which you clearly are, you're as good as dead to me! So get that misconception out of your head that I would ever worry about the kind of guy you date cause I'm not that frickin jobless and even if I were, I would die rather than do that!" I pause for a tiny speck of breathe and I feel my eyes getting hot from the tears that fill it, blurring my spectacled vision.

"Why the fuck-" She starts but I'm done with her bullshit.

"The only person I ever told to about this, is Natty and that's cause she is my best friend! You have no fucking rights to tell me what the fuck I should or shouldn't tell my best friend. And I've never told anyone he's fat or anything as such and for a fact, I didn't even look at the damn guy. It was someone else but I don't care! You have no rights to waltz up to me and yell like it's your birth right!" By now my face was streaming with tears and my voice cracking!

That is one of my biggest problems. Whenever I cross a certain level of anger, I tend to get teary-eyed and end up yelling in a cracky voice with tears rushing down my face. I hate that! It makes it seem as though I am hurt rather than angry, which blunts my words to an extent as I try to talk with a closed throat.

"The fuck is your problem?" She asks, with audacity that fuels the violent volcano in me, that stayed dormant and avoided her for years!

"I should be asking you that! I haven't cared that you exist, until maybe yesterday when I unfortunately saw you and my eyes almost caught fire! You think I care about you enough to take the pain of taking about your life and your boyfriend to others? Sadly you're blinded, my world revolves no where in a light year around you! So get that thought ou-" By now, my words get half muffled and my voice cracks completely making it harder for even myself to understand what I'm saying.

I can feel this utter rush of things I'd love to say to her face, and the loud pounding of my heart but for some reason, my lips fail to co-operate.

I know that we're standing in a crowded street but all that blurs out as I only see her and hear her fucked up accusations! I can't even see, feel or hear Natty...

"You're a bitch and I'm happy to be done with you, forever! Stay out of my life as I've been doing!" I mutter words that don't seem to register in my mind anymore. That's it, I'm out.

With one last look at her through my misty glasses, I turn around and walk away, as fast as I can, not wanting people to see my tear-stained face. I don't even care enough to wipe it away, as I feel drained.

I feel multiple emotions flood me as I walk away. One being, anger! I am angry at myself, yes, me! I hate myself for breaking down, for crying in front of her and giving her the satisfaction of hurting me! I hate feeling vulnerable, for letting her feel like she had the last laugh. I hate myself for being highly emotional at times when I need to curb it the most.

I also feel hurt! Every abuse of hers didn't hurt but a few did hit home, real bad! She always prided her extremely pale skin while deemed me less cause of my beautiful tanned skin, I feel hurt in a way that she used that as an insult on me.

But the most overpowering feeling of them all, was disgust.

I feel somebody pull me to a halt as I struggle to pace through unnoticed, unable to deal with anymore drama. I look up with teary eyes to see a very concerned looking Nat but the trace of anger is evident on her pretty face.

"Amy I-I don't know..." She sighs, unable to say anything that will cheer me up. She knows me and she knows it's best to let me be for a while, but she stays by as a comforting presence which I'm glad for.

"Amy, I'm sorry. She ca-" Tresa comes by and starts fumbling and all of a sudden, all hell breaks loose within me.

"Stop it, Tresa! Stop the damn drama. Don't come here pretending like you're the most innocent thing on planet Earth! You go around, whispering utter bullshit into her ears and come here and show concern, that's disgusting! Please leave me alone." I practically half-yell as I realize the reason for that rage-drama earlier, is Tresa.

She sat beside us and I'm sure she heard me talk to Natty! That is acceptable but the part where she put Phoebe's words into my mouth, was unacceptable. But honestly, I don't care.

I quickly wipe my tears away with the back of my hand and mutter a quick good-bye to Nat and run in to the first bus that comes, not even waiting for Nat.

I'm so lost deep in thoughts and all the events from a while ago, flash by in quick succession and I feel it sinking in slowly and making it harder for me breathe. I quickly avert my gaze and my eyes widen as I realize that I'm almost past my stop. I hurriedly drag my bag and get off.

I reach my house and throw my bag on the floor and collapse onto the couch, being extremely tired and emotionally exhausted, sleep entraps me and my eyes shut.

I wake up after a while, still flustered and scurry upstairs to freshen up and leave for classes, not wanting to be late again and become the object of everyone's attention or see anyone.

I reach my classes and spot Phoebe. My mind is preoccupied with a ton of thoughts and I just mumble a soft greeting. She seems to sense my mood and does not leave me alone.

"What happen Amy? Did you c-cry or something?" She asked, sounding shocked by what she sees.

"Um, no Pheebs. I'm fine." I smile to convince her, but even I know that doesn't work.

"Come on! What happened?" She presses. Curiosity should just kill itself!

I sigh and then proceed to tell her everything, definitely tearing up and doing the one thing I hoped I wouldn't. She seems a little uneasy listening to it and shuffles in her seat.

"Amy! No stop crying, you didn't do anything wrong. She definitely did not have to create a scene that way." She says, getting a bit angry and also, sounding a bit guilty. I never blamed her at all, for all I know, that was all too kiddish!

"Hey, can I have your chemistry book?" I hear a voice ask from behind me and I turn around and hand my book, not able to get a clear vision of the face and not bothering to even try.

I turn around and listen to Phoebe talking about her, when I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around partially.

"Amy?" A voice asks, probably looking in to my book. I nod and turn back around, not the least bit interested in any talk at the moment.

After about two minutes I hear another question.

"You from McGill?"

Phoebe yanks my hand, asking me to not to disclose too much.

I turn around, this time clearly expressing my lack of interest in my voice.

"No CU."

That seems to have worked! There are no questions after that.

Class finally ends and I'm extremely glad for it, as all I want is my bed, pillow and silence.

As I head out of class, I notice Nat waiting for me by her class.

"You okay?" She asks worriedly, a tiny smile lacing her lips.

"I will be." I smile back and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her along downstairs. I just need to have a good nap!

As I drive back home, I remember something- My book! It's with some random guy, who I have no clue of...

Who was that?

My mind wanders off as I focus back on to the road.

*************

Finally done! *exhales and stretches hands, cracking knuckles releasing nitrogen bubbles*

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