14. Controversy

You know that feeling you get when you hear something that you didn't expect to hear or didn't want to hear?

Well, I was feeling it.

I felt really uneasy, like I was going to be sick. Demi had to steady me. I heard whispers break out around us. Bane had just confessed his love for me on live TV. Panem knew he was chasing after me.

But it makes no sense. Why would he volunteer because of me? Being in love with me isn't a good reason to join the Games. I started wheezing. I looked away from the TV, but I couldn't block out the interview itself.

"She never knew?" Caesar asked Bane.

"Up until now she didn't," Bane said. "It's now or never, Caesar. If I didn't say it now, I probably would never get the chance to."

"It's a shame, really, to join the Games with her. She's convinced she's going to win this year."

"And she will, I know she will. She wants this more than anyone, Caesar."

"You seem to be supporting her more than yourself," Caesar noted. "Are you telling me that you won't win the Games?"

"I won't know until I'm in the arena." Bane shrugged.

"Hmm, well I can say this for us all when I say I don't think anyone saw this coming. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you, Bane." Caesar let Bane go.

I couldn't look at Bane when he came backstage to rejoin the group. I wanted to fire off at him once I could get my bearings, but Ross got to him first.

"We're leaving, now," Ross hissed. He grabbed Bane by his arm and took lead, Regina behind them. Sienna, Demi, and I brought up the rear. I heard the fading crowd as Aubrey went out to do her interview.

It was a silent, tense ride in the elevator. I could feel Ross's anger ebbing off him, trying to infect everyone else. I was pissed off, yes, but mainly stunned and in shock. I wasn't a popular girl, not even in school, so really having a guy confess their love to me would shock me. But this circumstance was totally different; Bane was my district partner in the Hunger Games.

If Ross saved any of Bane left for me, I'd get my shot at him. But maybe Ross would yell at Bane on my behalf.

Sienna and Demi kept me steady as we were the first to head for the apartment. My heart was beating rapidly still, not calming down, and I was feeling slightly dizzy. Was this how it felt to go into shock when someone confessed their love for you on live TV? I could feel my blood boiling—that was definitely from the anger running loose in me.

Regina got the door open, and we four squeezed through the opening.

"You better sit down," Sienna whispered to me. "Regina, do you mind getting her something to drink? It might settle her down."

"Of course." Regina flitted to the kitchen.

As Sienna and Demi got me on the couch, I heard Ross thundering.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he roared. The door slammed shut, making me nearly jump out of my dress. I'd never heard Ross so angry. "Do you want to start another rebellion? Because I bet that's what the Capitol thought you were trying to do tonight!"

"I wasn't," Bane said thickly. "I said what I wanted to, and that's that. It's done and over with."

"Tributes don't fall in love in these Games, especially not Careers, let alone with their district partners!"

Regina came back with a tall glass of water. I took it with trembling hands.

"I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but you better straighten it out! If you want to win, you can't get distracted by anything."

There it was. I knew Ross tried to keep us together, but when it came to the last day, he knew our alliance wouldn't last. I wasn't sure who he was betting on to win out of the two of us, but now, I was pretty sure the odds were more in my favor than Bane's.

"Do you want to watch the interviews? It's going to be a long night if you hear them. Ross could probably go all night if he wanted to," Sienna muttered. I nodded. She turned on the TV, going straight to the interviews.

Aubrey had just finished hers up, and Victor, in a dashing silver getup, was walking with confidence out to meet Caesar.

But even the interviews couldn't tune out Ross yelling at Bane.

"What was going through your head, hmm?" Ross pressed heatedly. "Tell me."

"I said what I wanted to."

"Was confessing your love for Crystal just an act?"

Please be an act, please be an act, I prayed.

"No," Bane said. I tried to detect a hint of deception in his voice, but I found none.

I went pale. I had hoped that Bane was lying, just to spice up the Games just a little bit. Why couldn't my hopes ever come true? Now, I was going to be in a pack where one pack mate was in love with me. Well, think of it this way: if he's blinded by his love for you, then maybe when you have to kill him, it'll be easy, I told myself. If he's not focused and tuned into his Career killer instinct, he won't be much of a problem. I wondered if his love would last as long as the Games would...however long they were going to be.

As the interviews went on, it seemed that Ross was starting to calm down, but he wasn't done ranting to Bane just yet. Eventually, they took it somewhere else, finally realizing that arguing behind me wasn't such a healthy thing for me.

Since the tension level had died away, Regina, Demi, Sienna, and I all sat and watched the interviews.

"Some of these dresses are old school," Regina scoffed. "I swear I've seen a few before. You'd think stylists wouldn't be so lazy."

"Depends on who it is," Demi said. "You've got the hard workers, like me and yourself. There are always one or two who just don't like their profession anymore."

"Have there been any bad outfits?" I asked as District 6's boy walked off stage.

"A few, but rarely is there such a thing as a bad outfit." Demi messed with one of her red tips.

"Ooh, now that's a dress I like!" Regina gushed.

District 7's girl walked into the spotlight better than I had. She was perhaps one of the oldest, because to me she looked eighteen. She almost didn't look human with her flawless appearance. She was in a tight-fitting, long, emerald green dress, making her brown eyes look even darker. Her strawberry blonde hair flowed to her elbows. She looked like a model.

"It's simple but it fits her well," Demi agreed.

I swore this girl could have been a Career, because she acted like one. She sounded more determined than I did, and I hated that.

"Tell me, Bella," Caesar said, "do you think others see you as a threat? You put up a nine in training, a high number for your district."

She stole my number from me. What will she steal next? I hated Bella already, just by looking at her.

"Oh, I know others see me as a threat," she said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. I snorted. "I want them to know that I'm not someone to be messed with. Betray me, and I'll stab you before you even have a chance to run." She smirked.

"A lot of tributes seem driven this year to win, some more than others. Do you think you fit into that category?"

"Of course," she said snottily, but she kept her tone even. "I've worked hard, and I want to prove it to Panem. It won't be one of the wealthier districts that win this year. This year, District Seven will get the victor!"

"Only time will tell if you're right, Bella," Caesar said.

I tuned in and out constantly. Sometimes Caesar and a tribute would be speaking, but I'd only see their lips moving, no words coming out. It was like the TV got muted or something. At one point I dozed without even knowing so, and woke up to see District 12 was up. The girl had just flaunted off stage, and now it was Shane's turn.

I was surprised I remembered his name; it'd been a while since I even thought about him. I had been too busy focusing on everything else. Shane looked to be humble and all, but he seemed comfortable with Caesar, like most tributes did.

"Do you feel pressured at all, knowing that some people expect you or Rachel to win this year's Games, being that your mentors are famous for what they've done?" Caesar probed. I was surprised he didn't call Katniss and Peeta "infamous." Infamous would seem like a more accurate description because of what they'd tried to accomplish.

"A little bit," Shane confessed, brushing back his hair. "But I try not to think about it much. I don't think of them any higher because of what they did in the past."

"People believe you have an advantage more than other tributes because of who you're being mentored by."

"Maybe that's true." Shane shrugged.

"Do you feel like you have a target on your back at all?"

"Caesar, everyone feels that way, whether they want to admit it or not. Some may not feel like they have one on their back, when really, they do. Me personally, sure, I'll admit I feel like I'm going to be targeted, but that's just how it is in the Games. No one is safe, and it's hard to trust anyone, even your district partner."

"I don't think I could have put it better myself, Shane," Caesar chuckled. "Forgive me for saying this, but you remind me so much of your mentor, Peeta Mellark."

"Well, he did help me with this," Shane admitted. "The only way to act like a tribute is to learn. And who better to learn from than your mentors?"

Hmm, now that Caesar mentioned it, Shane did sort of look like Peeta. I mean, he had the blond hair, the charisma. Replace Shane's eyes with Peeta's and we'd be looking at his son. But there's no way Katniss and Peeta had children. I can't picture it. From what I knew about Katniss Everdeen, she didn't seem like the type of woman who wanted children. I personally wouldn't want children if the Games were still going on, I'd rather not risk my future generations' lives in the arena.

District 13's tributes were the last ones to do their interviews. By then, I was so worn out that I slipped into my bedroom and got into nightwear. Tonight's number was a deep red camisole and sweats. I wasn't in the mood for fancy nightwear tonight.

I realized when being in my bedroom, that this was the last night I'd spend in this room. This would be my last night here. This was probably the last night I'd see Regina. I never even got the chance to properly say my goodbyes to Jackie, Maggie, and Remi.

Demi and Regina stayed another hour before leaving. Sienna was still in her rainbow dress. She looked at me.

"Not feeling fancy tonight?" she teased.

"Not really." I plopped onto the couch, next to her. She flicked the TV off. "It's weird, Sienna. It felt like just yesterday I got reaped to be here."

"I know." Sienna's voice cracked. "Gosh, I hate when this happens."

"Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

"Why? You aren't leaving tomorrow."

"I know," she sniffed. "I'm afraid for you and Bane. I might not see you both anymore."

"Sienna." I turned to her. "Trust me, you'll see me again. I'm going to win."

"I hope you do, but yet I wish there was a way to save Bane, too."

"Sadly, there's no way," I muttered. I couldn't say that I didn't want Bane to live right to Sienna's face. She looked unstable as it was, I couldn't make her worse.

Awkwardly, I hugged Sienna. She collapsed into me, muffling her sobs with her hands. I hated seeing her so pathetic like this. It tore at my heart. I didn't do this much in my life, comfort others.

"Crystal." It was Bane. I looked over the couch. He was standing in the hallway. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I can't right now," I said. I heard Bane walk to the couch. Sienna looked up, eyes bleary.

"Sienna." Bane grabbed her hand. "I think you should go to bed."

"I-I can't," she whimpered.

"I'll take care of her," Ross stepped in, leaping over the couch to be by Sienna. "You two talk."

"Everything will be okay," I whispered to Sienna. "I promise."

Sienna attempted a smile, but I saw in her eyes she wasn't convinced by me. While Ross took over babysitting duty, Bane and I disappeared into the hallway.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying to peek and see how Sienna was doing already. I wanted to go back and comfort her. "Wait, let me ask another question. Why did you do what you did?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I couldn't tell it to your face because I knew you'd kill me," he explained, shifting his weight onto another leg.

"You weren't playing it safe. If you were, you would have never said a word." I sighed irritably. "You didn't lie to Ross, or to Caesar?"

"No, everything I said tonight was the truth."

"I wish it wasn't," I grumbled. I looked into his green eyes. "Bane, listen to me. We can't be together. Okay? Was what you told me about your family a lie?"

Bane looked at me, offended. "No, that wasn't a lie. But my family wasn't the only reason I decided to be a tribute."

"What did you hope to gain from volunteering? That I'd admire your courage and fall for you?"

"A little bit." He rubbed the back of his head. "I've liked you for years, Crystal."

Years. Years. I wasn't sure who was more tormented: me or Bane.

I wanted to be cold towards Bane about this issue, that way he could maybe un-love me, but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to be so cold. I wasn't a totally heartless person.

"I know, I didn't think things through," he spat. He trapped me against the wall. I wanted to duck away into my room and lock the door. If Bane was trying to make a move, I would do what was necessary to prevent him from doing anything.

"If you know what's good for you, whatever you're feeling right now, end it," I suggested. "Don't chase after me. Let it go, and get your head into the Career mode. Got it?"

"I don't think I can do that," he said flatly. His eyes looked pitiful. Don't give in, don't give in. "I've tried it before. It won't work now if it didn't then."

"You're just going to have to make it work, then," I said, trying to figure out the best escape plan. I slipped out of his trap and struggled to get into my room.

"I know you don't feel something," Bane said. My hand was still on the knob, but I stopped. "I get that. But I don't care. I'm going to make sure nothing happens to you."

"Bane, I can take care of myself," I said heatedly. "I know we're part of a pack and all, but I can do fine on my own. That's the reason I'm here: to fight my battles, and to win."

"See? This right here is why I fell harder for you," he whispered. "You do this to me without realizing it, Crystal. You have no idea of the effect you have on me."

"I'd rather not think about it." In fact, I wish you had never volunteered at all.

I felt my choker slide off my neck, I caught it nimbly. Bane no doubt undid it. I shrugged my hands under my hair, trying to connect the choker. Bane eventually took over; I flinched and retracted my hands when he took over.

"I think your necklace needs to get fixed, it keeps coming loose," he murmured.

"I know you undid it somehow, I'm not stupid. Are you done yet?" I asked impatiently.

"There." His hands trailed under my arms. I yanked them away. "You're tired, I get it. Well, goodnight, babe."

"Hey," I said, whirling around. Bane was already at his door. "Don't call me that. Remember what I said earlier?"

"I know." Bane didn't turn to me, but I heard the smile in his voice. He chuckled to himself as we both slipped into our bedrooms. I shook, feeling buggy.

I thought Bane's obsession with Shane had been bad, but his love for me took over that. What if Bane had been jealous of Shane because he looked at me? He was overprotective whether he was in love with me then or not. Wait, what was I saying? Bane said he'd loved me for years. All this time, Demi was right.

Focus on others things. The 107th annual Hunger Games. I grabbed my moon charm in my hand.

"It's almost here, Dad," I whispered as I sat on the bed, sheets covering me. "Tomorrow, I'm going to battle."

I thought of Dad and Mom, of District 1. I wondered how Dad and Mom reacted to Bane proclaiming his love for me. Did they think I loved him back? Well, they knew I didn't like any guys in school since I was too focused on training. I bet Mom wasn't even watching the Games because she was trying to accept the fact that I was in them still.

I knew I'd have to get up early tomorrow, because the Games started at ten. Twenty-six tributes put into an arena of unknown dangers and terrors, all while trying to knock out each other. I'd admit there were a few outsiders besides the pack that were more deadly than the non-Career bunch. I wasn't too worried at the moment, because I knew how these Games would end.

The only person standing left at the end would be me, and I was going to make sure of that.

**Hmm. Bit of a dilemma here. Who ships Crystane?**