BURGLARY 1918

"Tis a right fancy gaff

proper nice an'all

the alarm looks a doddle

practically hangin' off the wall."

He opened up the window soft

and the night slipped quietly in

just a pencil beam of light he shone

deciding where to begin.

"Gawd, they's got some crackin' stuff

pictures worth a yard or two

an' them vases aint off the market

they aint never seen no glue."

He tip-toes swift from room to room

always silent as a mouse

and up the stairs makes his way

respecting the beauty of the house.

"Cor blimey, if I had me a gaff like this

I'd never bleedin' leave it

I'd sit and drink champagne all day

too lucky to believe it."

Every room he deftly searched

with expertise and care

nothing precious did he take

though there was plenty and to spare.

"Wouldn't do me no good

to rob this stuff

I can't end up inside agin

an' wi' me old missus up the duff."

Then he saw lying on a bedside tray

what looked like manor from Heaven

he counted swift the princely sum

five pounds - eight an' seven.

"Oh Lawd, thank Gawd

 I promise now I'll go straight

for that's enough to pay the rent 

Gawd love and Bless you mate."

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BURGLARY 2018

"Hit the sod, kick it in

we're not here to play bloody games

smash the bugger and grab the dosh

forget they soddin' dames."

Two young men burst from the night

and each one carries a knife

they're masked, angry and violent

they've no respect for life.

"Come on, get with it, do the joint

their insurance 'll  have to pay

sit down darlin's  if ya know what's good 

shut it and do as I say."

Mother and daughter cower in fear

for there's death in the pale blue eyes

they huddle close, holding hands

terrified but wise.

"Search the joint, don't hang about

make it fast and grab what ya can

dunna worry about  the soddin' mess

just get it in the van."

Upstairs, downstairs, they ransack all

with a furious disregard

the women tremble, terrified

with these men nothings barred.

"Now then darlin' where's the safe?

come on  ya bitch an' sing

we aint  got all night ya know

an' gimme that bloody ring."

The safe is emptied, her ring is gone

the men have stuffed their bags

mother and daughter shed no tears

behind their stocking gags.

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