I reach the top of the stairs just in time to hear the back kitchen door closing. Oliver probably went to the porch to call his dad. I follow him out there but find him jumping off the porch into the yard.

"Olly, wait!" I watch as he walks into the field, heading towards the barn. The rain has slowed, but it's still wet and muddy.

"You're going to ruin your suit, just stop and come back inside!" I call out, but he ignores me. I step off the porch to chase after him, and my feet sink into the wet, muddy ground.

"Please, slow down! I'm going to fall." I beg.

I'm not. I'm better on bare feet than in shoes, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and sometimes that includes little fibs. It works... He stops, turns, and sighs as I hustle to catch up.

"Damn it, Kinsey, why did you follow me anyway?" He looks down at my feet. "You don't even have shoes on."

"Some things never change," I offer. "Like you running away from me."

"I'm not running away from you."

"That is literally what you were just doing," I counter.

"I can't sit there while he makes his little comments. I'm sick and tired of him painting me as the villain in his life."

"He doesn't do that," I defend.

"Yes, he does," Oliver says.

"No, Olly. That's not it, he's upset with you because you left and—"

"Oliver. Kinsey, it's Oliver."

"You let Brandi slip and didn't say a damn thing," I shoot back. "Why is that?"

"And, I've let you've too. Don't even go there."

"I never did," I reply in an instant. "Did I? No, never. I was so understanding about Brandi, and you know it."

"It's not the same thing."

"Pretty much is," I reply. "Hell, I let her sleep in bed with us one that one night!"

"That is not fair, and you know it! I'm not having this fight again."

"Well, then you can just stand there while I have the fight by myself."

"No. Just no," he says as his face twists with anger. "To bring up that night up of all nights? That's bullshit, and you know it."

It is, and I do. I'm glad she didn't hear me bring that night up. But I'm drunk, and I'm mad and I'm grasping... 

I take a second to gather my thoughts. "You're right that wasn't fair, but–"

I get cut off by thunder that's so loud both of us jump.

"Just go back in the house, please," Oliver says tiredly as the sky lights up with lightning. "I'm gonna go call my dad from the barn and wait there."

"You can't drag your dad out here in a storm."

The sky roars again as if to prove my words, and then the rain picks back up in a hurry, pelting us with cold water and hail.

"Ouch!" I yelp as hail hits my bare arm. My dress is quickly soaking through and clinging to my body.

"Come on!" Oliver grabs my hand, and we beeline for the barn.

Oliver pushes the old heavy door open, creaking nearly as loud as the thunder.

As the heavy door falls behind us, we're surrounded by darkness, but it's not what I see. My eyes well with tears as I'm brought back, January first, two thousand and one. A day neither Olly or I could ever forget. We may have started on New Year's Eve with a kiss, but all the words that changed everything were said right here on New Year's Day. I can still see it. The little crate was set up with blankets and a picnic brunch, and the cheap strawberry wine that became our thing after that day.

Oliver turns on his flashlight from his phone, which slightly illuminates the dank and dusty old barn. We're both silent as we take it in. The memories this barn holds, it's all me and Olly. Now, I don't come in here; I don't even like to look at it. Not since the day I ran out when Julian tried to propose in here. It's in worse disarray now than it ever was.

Any equipment and tools still left in here are rusted out. The built-in shelving looks like it could collapse and fall at any moment. The wooden floor caked in dirt and clutter.

"Looks so—" Oliver trails off.

"Deteriorated?" I offer.

"Yeah."

Like us.

"I saw that huge pole barn. I'm surprised your dad didn't take this down when he built it."

"I wouldn't let him."

"Oh..." There's a slight flicker in his eyes, but it's gone as fast as I see it.

We're quiet for a moment, and a shiver runs over me. I don't know if it's the cold, being in here with him, or both.

"You're soaked... here," Oliver says as he pulls off his blazer, which is dampened too, but not as bad as my thin dress is. I pull it on and tug it around me. It helps some.

"Thanks," I mumble. "You know I had a dream about you and this barn my first night home. Well, Julian too, you and him sort of like interchanged, if that makes any sense."

I have no idea why I'm blabbing all this, but oh well.

"You interchanged me with that asshole? Gee, thanks." Oliver teases, but I can see he does look slightly off-put.

"In terms of hurt and anger... it's pretty similar," I say bluntly, and he flinches. "Actually, no, it's not. You hurt me way worse."

"I know I did, and I'm sorry for that," Oliver says as he rubs a hand through his wet hair. "But you hurt me just as badly."

"No, Oli-ver," I struggle and almost trip on his name but catch it. "You don't get what I mean. I'm not talking about the relationship ending; that part hurt like godman hell, too, but I mean you breaking the promise. The one we made in here. That literally broke me."

"You know I didn't forget the promise, Kinsey."

"But you broke it."

*

"You're defecting," I press my tone soft but firm. "This is...the one thing that... I'm terrified of, and I don't want to be. I want so bad to feel like we did last night when it all just..."

"Clicked, it clicked, Kinsey, and it still does," he says softly.

"I know it did, and I don't want to be crippled with worries about what if this or that happens, but I am. I can't have a world without you in it, Olly. I can't, and I'm so scared of that happening."

"You know why we're in the barn?" He scoots closer to me, and his intense gaze holds me in place. "Because this is where we spent so many summer days, hiding out and reading books, sometimes even just laying around for hours talking about nothing."

"Yeah," a soft smile washes over my face. "We grew up together in this barn."

"This is our spot, and I feel like that means something."

I'm taken aback at the symbolism of it as I swallow a lump in my throat.

"It always will be, just like we always will be. We're best friends first and always," Olly declares, washing my worries away with his beautiful words.

"You have to promise me," I say firmly. "You have to swear that'll never change. No matter what happens with us, we'll always find our way back here to each other. Please, I need you to promise it."

"I promise you, Kinsey," he says. "Always."

*

"I broke it," He repeats as he swallows a lump back. "But I made that promise long before I knew what kind of hurt, I was really talking about. And you know, as angry as you are about me breaking that promise... I'm angry about you forcing me to make it."

"What–why?"

"Because you never would have made Hunter make that promise."

"That's not fair. I made you make that promise because my friendship with him got all messed up after he hurt me. I was protecting us."

"Our friendship, always meant more to you than our relationship, and that is what broke me, Kinsey."

"No, that's not true.''

"You pretty much just said it," he says with a sigh.

"That's not what I meant!" I exclaim as my frustration grows. "I meant losing our friendship on top of being heartbroken over the relationship. I meant all the promises you broke, not just that one, but I thought out of all of them, you'd keep that!"

"I wasn't the sixteen-year-old boy with a hopeful heart making a promise anymore. That boy had no idea...how much it would legit kill me to be around you."

"Killing you? You?" I cry out. "After you sent me away that day. I was completely shattered; it was really dark, Oliver. I wasn't eating; all I did was sleep and cry. I'd yell at anyone who tried to talk to me or feed me or anything. At one point, my mama literally offered me whiskey just to get to do anything other than lie there, and I wouldn't even take that."

"I'm so sorry," his voice softens, his eyes well with tears. "Kinsey, I didn't know-"

"That I'd be that shattered? You should have," My voice also softens, though Oliver's teary eyes are melting my anger fast. "You were a constant in my life, and then you were gone forever, and I couldn't handle it. it was like this blanket of sadness, too heavy to move."

"I.. didn't think you'd.. be, I guess figured with Hunter you'd be alright."

"He's the only reason I was in the end, but it took months. He saw me through my worst, and that's why he's so angry at you."

"No, that might be part of it, but I meant what I said earlier," Olly argues. "So I suggested he hold off on asking you out at fourteen. That doesn't make me responsible for all his choices after that."

I sigh tiredly. My feet are starting to ache on the old barn floor, and it's so cold, but I can't leave with all these questions still swimming in my head. I hop up on the seat of an old foursheeler, coughing at the dust I kick up. "Sit."

He surprises me by hopping up next to me without argument, kicking up more dust in the process, making us both cough,

"Why'd you ask him to do it?" I ask.

"I can't pinpoint the moment I knew I loved you because I always did. Long before I even really knew what it was, but I just always knew."

My heart squeezes at that, and a lump forms in my throat as he continues.

"I very stupidly assumed that whatever I felt inside, you'd be feeling too. Whenever we were ready for dating and stuff, I thought we'd do it with each other because we did everything with each other, so of course we would." he lets out a sad laugh.

"When Hunter joined us, I still told myself we'd be the couple and he'd be the guy that would always hang around us," Oliver's voice breaks. "Then we started high school, and I realized you had a crush on him. I knew if you dd go out, and he was feeling as deeply for you as I was, which I was sure he was, that he wouldn't have let go. In my mind then you two would have never broken up. I still sort of think that actually..."

"You do?" I feel a weird chill down my spine, he could be right, my entire life would be different, but, then so much wouldn't have happened like Oliver. My head is swimming right now. 

"Why didn't you just tell me how you felt then?" I ask as I study him. 

"Because I wasn't ready to explore feelings like that yet, and I was afraid of rejection. I knew you liked him."

"So instead, you made Hunter make a pact?"

"I did not make him do anything. I confessed to him that I liked you and asked if he did too. I told him we couldn't. If one of us dated you, the other would be hurt, left out, and we'd mess everything up. or you two would break up and never talk again. Finally, I managed to convince him it was a bad idea to risk our friendship, at least that early on in high school, and he agreed... eventually."

"You did manipulate him," I accuse my glare burning into his until he looks down. 

"See it how you want. I made some good points and maybe played into his fears over losing us. I know it sounds bad, but I honestly thought once we got further into high school and he was surrounded by girls wanting to date him, he'd move on, and so would you."

"Well, I didn't," I mutter.

"Yeah, no kidding," Oliver groans. "I had to hear all about it while my heart broke, wondering why you didn't think about me like that."

My heart wrenches at that, and I close my eyes, refocusing on what I need to say here.

"You saw how hurt I was. You watched me sit and cry at the dance. Are you sorry for that, at least?"

"Of course, I'm sorry for that," he says with a sigh. "I convinced myself I was right, that he fell for the next pretty girl he saw with Mary Beth, and I did the right thing."

"You should have told me then," I counter. "Regardless, it at least would have made me feel better."

"If I did, you would have marched right out there and told him you liked him too."

"I was not that brave back then," I say and manage something of a laugh.

"I was selfish, I get it, but also, I was fighting for us. Hunter could have ignored me, could have said no, asked you out anyway."

"But that's not him to give his word and back out, and you know it."

"He still had his chance, literally handed to him that summer, and he just let it go," Oliver says. "His choices are his own. I own mine. He should own his."

"I don't think we should talk about Hunter anymore tonight. I know we still have shit to sort through, but if we get into it about him, it'll get heated."

"You're right, so we'll stop for tonight, but Kinsey, that promise.."

"Yeah?"

"I broke it then, but I can keep it now. You said we find our way back here no matter what, right? Well, here we are."  

"You really want that, to be friends again?" I ask with a trembling lip.

"It's the whole reason the bookstore is even happening."

"What?" 

"It was always inspired by you, in hopes you'd come home see it, and we'd be best friends again," he confesses. "But I put it off forever because I was scared to come back and face you. I kept coming up with a new company to open instead of doing it, till finally, my dad said just do it, or I will myself. I thought with you being married and not in town much anyway, it'd be easier. Then..."

"I came yelling at your dad that day, and you find out I'm not and I live here." 

"Right," he agrees with a chuckle. 

"I want be friends again too," I say, wiping a tear from the corner of my eyes. "But it's not going to be that easy, there's still a lot of hurt and anger."

"I know for me too," he says quietly. "But that's a sign, right? We hurt so much because we care so much, even still."

"So, what now?" I ask. 

He sets his phone down and wraps me up in a tight hug, and I can feel this sense of hope, that we can, make our way back. I close my eyes and take it and him in for a long moment. It's this barn I bet it's magical or something. It's dark when we part, and he fumbles for his phone. "Must've died."

The creaking sound of the door gets our attention, and Oliver lets out a short laugh. "Of course."

"Kinz?" I hear Hunter's voice and see a beam of light as the barn door opens. "You just disappeared. I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"Yeah, we ducked in to get out of the rain," I say as he steps further in, and the door closes. It feels sort of wrong, Hunter being in here with me and Oliver. I can tell Oliver thinks so because he's tensing up.

"We should get out of here. It's dangerous," Hunter says as he looks around.

"Not any worse than the old duplex was," Oliver shoots back.

"Home to a lot of mice, I'll tell you that much," Hunter drawls out. "Some even nest right there in that seat y'all are on."

"What!" I scream as I jump off the chair, landing back on the ground. I let out a full-body shudder as Hunter laughs at me. "Liar, you never come in here!"

"Don't have to, I know that's where mice nest."

"Yeah, they do, actually I thought, I felt one a second ago when I was looking for my phone." Oliver comments. 

I whirl around to glare at him next. "You're lying. Tell me you're lying."

"You know, I bet there's lot's of 'em on the ground too, and you got bare feet," Hunter says.

"Shut up, there is not!" I yelp as I whirl back to scowl at Hunter, standing on my tip toes and looking down nervously.

"Is that one right there?" Oliver says.

"Where?" I jump away.

"Careful, you might step on one," Hunter says. "Could be dead ones."

"That's a given," Oliver agrees.

"Stop. I will kill you both!" I yell out as they both start laughing. 

*Thanks so much for reading!!! I'm having a blast with this book!!