*TW for anyone sensitive to sexual assault, avoid the memory in italics at the start of the chapter.

"Sure, we should've told her about Billy?" I ask Brandi. "I could see the hope in her eyes, which is exactly what Oliver was worried about."

Once Stephanie left us to go talk with Sara, Brandi and I headed outside to sit on the porch with some wine.

"I know it was," Brandi says with a sigh. "But I almost saw her smile tonight at the idea he could get out. She hasn't done that since the kids were little and Billy was here. She needs him... she could handle the every day when Billy was around to hold her up. He has been her safety since it happened, and without him, she always feels on edge, you know?"

"Yeah, that poor thing," I say with a sad sigh.

Billy and Stephanie grew close from the moment she started tutoring him at the start of Junior year, so much so that Billy stopped hanging with Gabe and Laine as much to spend more time with her. Billy was crazy about her, but Stephanie had told Billy she didn't want to have a boyfriend yet. She was a little peculiar in how she did things, very school-driven back then.

But a few days after junior prom, they became a serious couple seemingly overnight and inseparable, too. But it didn't fit with what she said before, and on top of it, Stephanie seemed off. She was dressing in dark and baggy clothes, with Billy's hats, and she'd wear the bill low to cover her face. It was like she was trying to look invisible or something.

Billy was always with her like he was shielding her, and if anyone tried to ask Stephanie what was going on, Billy barked them away from her like a damn guard dog. It was weird, but school was ending, and summer our last summer before high school ended was starting. I'm ashamed to say we all forgot about the two of them as we all went off to do our thing.

We learned what happened after the senior homecoming dance in the fall of 2002. The four of us, Hunter, Brandi, Olly, and I, decided to skip Laine's big after-party the whole class was going to. Instead, we went to Brandi's house for a few drinks and a little reminiscing.

 The dance had a few tense moments, but it was nice afterward just us. Brandi and I changed into pajamas, and Hunter and Olly were happy to change into jeans. We all relaxed as we chatted.

Stephanie and Billy were there, and they came and hung out with us. She seemed a little more alive than usual that night. She even talked a little and then...

***

Stephanie gets up to use the bathroom, and we all laugh as we recall one of Olly's embarrassing moments from debate club. A knock at the door startles all of us, and Brandi jumps up to get it.

"Probably one of your drunk friends, Billy," Brandi calls as she walks to the door.

"Doubt it, they'd be too trashed to drive."

"Leave!" I hear Brandi scream, and Olly stands up, followed by Hunter and then Billy.

"I just want to talk to you.."

"Is that?" Hunter asks. 

"Wade," I whisper as Brandi bursts into the living room. She spots Olly first, and ducks behind him as Wade follows her inside.

"You get the hell out of here now!" Olly yells at Wade without an ounce of fear. I bet he's as angry as me, as I feel my blood boil.

"Really, nerd boy? Back up so I can talk to Brandi," Wade takes a step closer, his nostrils flaring, indicating he is angrier than his casual tone would lead you to believe.

"Touch him I'll kill you." Hunter steps in front of me and edges closer to Wade, who hesitates a bit when he sees Hunter coming closer.

"Kinz, back up," Billy is now pushing me further back so he can stand next to Hunter when I hear a loud gasp from behind me.

"Stephie, go wait in my room. I got to deal with this for my sister," Billy says as he turns back, and then his eyes widen as he takes her in.

I look over at her and see her face is stark white, and she is gaping at Wade. Billy is saying her name, and she looks at him with terror when she speaks.

"It's him. That's him, Billy," Stephanie whimpers.

"Wha-? Are you sure?" Billy asks, and she nods.

"You mother fucker!" Billy screams and then lunges for Wade.

Brandi, Stephanie, and I scream as Billy lands on top of Wade. Billy starts to land a few punches, but Hunter pulls him off while he fights hard. Hunter is stronger, though, and he gets Billy off Wade.

Billy struggles with Hunter as Wade slowly gets to his feet, his left eye red and swollen and his hair all messed up. Hunter is holding Billy back, but he's working hard to try and get away. Meanwhile, Olly has his arm around Brandi, who has started shaking and looks to be crying, but her face is buried against Olly's arm, so I can't tell for sure.

"Stop!" Stephanie screams at the top of her lungs. "Billy, please, stop."

Billy stops cold, his eyes pained but still angry as his gaze meets hers.

"I got to kill him, Stephie, for what he did. I have to."

"No," she pleads.

"For you, Baby. He has to pay," Billy begs.

"He will, but not like that. Not this way."

Stephanie takes a step forward, stands next to me, and shakily grabs my hand. I take it, and she squeezes it so tight it hurts, but I only stand closer to her and remain silent.

"You are going to pay for what you did," Stephanie looks past us to Wade, who darts his eyes away from hers. "All this time... I had no idea who, and now I do. You didn't go to our school, so I didn't know your name."

"What did you do?" Brandi asks suddenly, and I look over to see she's pulled away from Olly and is looking from Wade to Stephanie and then back again.

"But I never forgot your face," Stephanie continues. "I never will. It haunts me every night of my life."

"What did you do, Wade?" Brandi's voice is higher this time. Olly reaches for her, but she pulls away, stepping closer to Wade.

"I didn't do anything!" Wade thunders back. "She's crazy! She's confusing me with someone else."

"She hasn't even said anything yet!" Brandi snaps back, and now she's right in front of his face. I'm getting nervous, but at least Hunter and Billy are watching closely. "Enough with your lies!"

"I didn't do anything, Babygirl," Wade says feebly. 

"Liar," Stephanie hisses. 

"What did you do, Wade!?" Brandi screams the question this time. 

"He raped me," Stephanie's words silence the entire room, and we all go still for what feels like hours but it's not even seconds, and Stephanie continues. "He drugged me and -"

"Why would I?" Wade cuts her off. "I got tons of girls all over me every night. Screw that."

"I'll never forget waking up to your face," Stephanie says, her glare set firmly on Wade, holding him still as he grows paler.

"It's a lie. I don't even know you," Wade denies.

Hunter is still holding onto Billy, but I can see how tense his jaw is from here.

"I had one drink and felt weird. I went to the bathroom to call my mom," Stephanie lets go of my hand and she steps closer to Wade. Hunter lets go of Billy leaving space between them that Stephanie fills. Billy puts a protective arm around her.

"I'll never forget it," she continues as her voice breaks slightly. "Your face and the pain, and I was confused. I begged you. I begged you to stop. I begged you, and you smirked!"

She starts crying, and Billy is now shaking even as he holds her. If Stephanie wasn't under his arm, I am sure he'd be on top of Wade again.

"You fucking monster," Billy grits out. 

"Olly, can you get the girls out of here please," Hunter says, his gaze is now fixed on Wade and the tone he is using is darker than anything I've heard before. 

"Now Olly," Billy agrees. 

"Hunter, I don't know if this the way..." I say slowly but unsurely. 

"Kinz, we are killing him," Billy says darkly but Stephanie is holding him in place, for now at least.  

"No," Stephanie whispers. 

"Hunter, stop he's not worth jail, please," I whisper loudly as I reach towards Hunter, he turns and as we lock eyes, I see him relax just slightly. 

"No one kills him," Stephanie spits out. "He's going to prison for what he did."

"She's lying! She probably got wasted, fucked some guy and wants to blame me!" Wade yells out.

"Shut up!" Brandi screams into Wade's face, and he flinches. "I know she's not lying because that's what you do! That's who you are!"

"Don't you dare," Wade says.

"Are you threatening her?" Olly takes a step closer. To my relief, he takes Brandi's arm and pulls her back from Wade.

"Fuck this. It's all fucking lies..." Wade mutters as he's backing himself closer and closer to the front door. "No one will believe you."

"Well, they'll believe me!" Brandi yells out. "Because I have proof of what you did to me and witnesses, too."

"What?" Both Billy and Wade say at the same time. Billy releases Stephanie at that and she gasps in a mix of fear and shock. 

"What!?" Billy asks again, his voice deep and angry this time. Wade takes off, and I mean off, running, literally jumping over a table on his way; as the kitchen door slams, Billy takes off after him.

"I'll kill you, you fucker!" Billy is screaming as the door slams behind him.

"No, Billy!" Stephanie cries.

"I'll get him," Hunter yells as he chases after Billy.

"Brandi?" I start towards her. She is pale and beginning to cry, and she looks like she could drop at the moment.

I extend my arms and start for her, but she stops me, shaking her head and pointing behind me, "Help her," she mouths.

I turn to see Stephanie behind me, her fearful eyes full of tears and her entire body shaking as she drops to her knees. I rush towards Stephanie, wrapping my arms around her as Olly comforts Brandi.

***

Things happened fast after that night when Brandi and Stephanie went public, and then a third girl came forward with a story similar to Stephanie's about being drugged at a party. Wade was arrested, and by early winter, they were in court.

Too much time had passed, and there was no proof of Wade's assault on either Stephanie or the other girl. However, Brandi's assault, the prior February, had the photos I'd taken that night as proof.

The only crime Wade was convicted of was the one against Brandi, but the positive in it is that he was given the maximum sentence, but even that isn't enough in my eyes, especially now. Brandi said it best back then. This is who Wade is, and nothing, not even jail time, will change him.

Stephanie and Billy clung to each other long after all that and married young. Billy got a football scholarship but Stephanie opted not to go to college so she could stay home where she felt safe.  They had Sara right after Billy's first year of college, and Johnny came shortly after that. I didn't see them often back then, but Stephanie seemed much better then than she is now, happy for the most part.

"She'll get Billy back again," I speak the end of my thoughts out loud. "I know Oliver will make it happen."

"So, we have to make sure to find a way to keep Billy from Wade," Brandi agrees tiredly. 

"But tonight, I need a distraction, please anything," Brandi begs as she fills us each a second glass of wine, then brings her glass to her lips for a long sip. 

"I kissed Hunter," I offer, and she nearly spits her wine out.

"That'll work," she says as she sits up straighter. "...and?"

"Oliver," I reply.

"Huh? You mean he walked in?"

"No, I mean, I kissed him too."

"At the same time?" she asks with widened eyes. "Damn, girl. I won't lie that's how I would handle the situation, but not how I expected you to."

"Stop!" I laugh despite it all. "No, not at the same time, there was a day, well, two days between them. Sort of, I kissed Hunter twice–"

"Twice? What?" she squeals out, cutting me off. "After all this time, you finally kissed him and didn't call me? How?"

"It's all this stuff about the past and finding out he always wanted me too,'' I stammer.

"Finding out," Brandi scoffs. "I tried telling you so many times."

"But you didn't have proof!" I protest. "Anyway, we just – I was looking at him, and he was telling me about New Year's Day and .. " I hold out my wrist, showing her the bracelet I still have secured on it. "He made me this, and he was going to tell me that day."

"Oh, Kinz," she says. "This is adorable. I'd have kissed him too."

I giggle like a schoolgirl, sipping my wine and fanning my face as we sit back.

"Who initiated the kiss then?" Brandi asks.

"Me. I had this moment of feeling this mix of being so robbed of never getting that moment, with all this bubbling up that's been happening since I got back home, and I had to know. I had to kiss him. He was stunned at first, but the second I asked, he just took control."

"And how was it?"

"Dizzying and maddening, it was this explosion of pent-up feelings all coming out at once," I recall. "We both couldn't get enough but were completely overwhelmed by it at the same time. We were left speechless. He walked me home, and I sat there like literally drunk, no lie."

"Shit," she breathes out. "Wait what? You went home after that?"

"He had Harley, and even if he didn't, the kiss was all I could handle."

"But you said two kisses?" she prods.

"The next day," I say, pausing to sip my wine. "After I was trying to tell him we shouldn't because I don't know what I'm doing or where I stand, and he basically told me that's fine. He'll be there while I figure out."

"Damn," she comments sipping from her glass as well. "That's big, you know?"

"I know."

"So why are you kissing Oliver then?"

"I don't know... we were talking so much about the past, and he was there the whole time I waited to see if I was going to jail for Julain's bullshit. Then I wasn't, and I was relieved and emotional, and the next thing I knew, we were kissing."

"Oh, Kinz, what happened?"

"He instantly regretted it and couldn't run away fast enough."

"Of course, he's freaked out, and he should be you were just kissing Hunter!"

"He doesn't know that!" I say and then cringe at my own words. "That was not how I meant that to sound."

"But it's true, you're not a kid anymore. You can't sit here and deny your feelings for Hunter."

"And I'm not," I say quickly. "That's what makes this all so complicated is I have these feelings for Hunter, but there's something there with Olliver. Then there's all this unresolved stuff with both of them from the past."

"You said you and him talked about stuff tonight?"

"Some stuff," I comment. "Ironically, junior prom came up."

She glances at the house and then back at me. "If y'all were talking about old memories like that, I can see even more why it might've freaked him out. He's walking right back into this situation that broke him too. Nights like that always sucked for him."

"That's where he and I differ; like he looks back at the bad, but I don't, or at least I didn't. I remember his face when he picked me up, the dance we had in the library, and how happy I was that you had fun when Olly danced with you. I thought the night was great overall. I felt like the fight over Hunter and Olly's annoyance at me later put a damper on it but didn't ruin the night, and he sees it so differently."

"Because you're only seeing your side," Brandi says. "You think it was just you dancing with Hunter that Olly was upset about?"

"Pretty much," I say.

"No." Brandi sips her wine and continues. "You spent the whole night jealous of Erin and Hunter, and it was beyond obvious. In the past, you tried to hide it, but not that night."

"I was annoyed she didn't let him come with us as a group," I defend.

"I'm not Olly, don't feed me your bullshit," Brandi quips.

"Excuse me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Well, come on. Erin and Hunter were all lovey-dovey that night, over the top, so, and you were crawling out of your skin," Brandi says. "Then, after Hunter danced with you, you stood there with this dreamy-ass look on your face as he walked away, and Olly saw it!"

My heart drops into my stomach as all this comes hurling back to me in a fresher light.

"Fuck."

"Yeah," Brandi says with a laugh.

"I'm starting to realize I looked back at a lot of the past with rose-colored glasses," I say quietly.

"I think a lot of people do," Brandi offers.

"Olly doesn't" I say.

"No," she agrees. "He's the opposite. He's a realist, but also his side of the past I think differs because you were in denial, but he did have a reason to be jealous."

"I do see that now," I agree. 

"You didn't mean to hurt him, but you were, little by little."

I bite my lip as I slowly nod. "I hate that, but it is true."

"But" I add before swigging from my glass. "The way he left, and harsh shit he said when I found him again... I have every right to be angry. There is no excuse for that. He broke me."

"What did he say that day?" she asks. "You never told me."

"Not sure I ever will," I sigh sadly. "But to sum it up he told me I'd never see him again as a friend or anything, and now here he is, and I'm all mixed up." 

"Then you do what a chef does and keep tasting the smoothie till you figure out it."

"What?" I ask as I choke back a laugh. 

"It made more sense in my head," she snorts. 

"I didn't mean for it to be perverted advice this time I swear," she continues, "I think if Hunter's willin' to give you the freedom to figure it out, hopefully Oliver will too, and just...do that. Take some time and figure it out."

"How?" 

"Don't ask me that," she holds her hands up in surrender. 

"I guess we start with sorting out the past," I mutter. 

She studies me for a long moment. "Have y'all talked about that night yet?"

"No," I say, "but it's coming."

A worried look crosses her face as she falls silent.

"Brandi?"

"Go easy on Olly," she finally says. "We make terrible mistakes when we're wounded."  

*That night is FINALLY coming to light in the next chapter!!  We will start with a FB into it and then jump into present day!