Gifty
Lagos, Nigeria

"Ah! This dress looks wonderful on you! Happy 19th birthday, love, " Mrs. Karen applauded me cheerfully with a bright smile on her face as she adorned my reflection in the mirror.

I didn't say a word, talk more of a 'thank you' to her wishes. Today is July the 8th. The deadline Gaius gave me to report him to my mother. That was all that there was to the date. Not my nineteenth birthday.

I didn't see it as a day I was born so I couldn't call it the worst birthday ever because the day existed for something entirely different to the best of my acknowledgment.

But Mrs. Karen being the party rocker that she was went as far as getting me a dress from a German modiste. She planned a historically themed birthday party for me so certainly, my inability to breathe in the corset tied to my chest was certain.

My face was all smothered with pink blushes and pomade with cherry lip gloss brightening my lips. Since it was a historically themed party, a ball would simply be an accurate representation of the idea.

So Mrs. Karen invited all of my mates from music school. I didn't even associate with many of them. They were nothing but basic acquaintances and I wasn't exactly on good terms with the only person in my circle, Kosi.

She just seemed sly.

The sight of her talking to my younger brother didn't sit well with me at all and the fact that I couldn't even get a tangible reply from her when I asked her what she was discussing with Zion irked me the more.

She knew the reason why Zion and I were at serious loggerheads so I could not help but see it as her stabbing me in the back whatever her true actions were. Unless they happened to meet in the kitchen by accident but Kosi lied to me and it was unacceptable.

It hurt to realize that no one was on my side and even the ones that were would leave my side soon once the truth came out in the open.  Aside from my mother and Mrs. Karen who wished me a happy birthday this morning, no one else has. Not even my step-father.

But it wasn't like I was even in the right mood to appreciate the wishes. When my mother's voice came on the phone, I could barely utter a sentence.

"Hello? Gifty...are you there?" she asked that morning when my voice had gone mute.

"y-yes, " I answered.

"Are you okay? Are you not happy about today?"

"I am." the fact that she had no idea of the pain I was going to cause her once she learned the truth hurt me even more. It ate at me so badly that I wanted to let it all out that moment but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"This was the same vibe you gave the last time we spoke. What's bothering you? Is it Zion? Or you wished I were around for your birthday? Is it school?"

"I'm okay, mum. I—"

"I have to go now love. Talk to you later."

I was glad she didn't say something about eventually finding out what it was that I was hiding because I wouldn't have been able to handle the threat like I did the last time. I forfeited my last opportunity of confessing to my mother although I couldn't help but wonder why she sounded as though she were in a hurry while on the phone.

Since I took the willpower I could have gathered in me for granted, I will have to harbor the fear of the unknown within me and compulsory act like I am not bothered by anything. I don't know what Gaius is going to do if he finds out that I am yet to report him so it makes my heart palpitate all the more.

Still, I know I wouldn't have been able to utter a word if he didn't even threaten me. The pain and the fear of losing him to the shackles of imprisonment were too great for me to foster the entire process in the way that I had to.

"Come on now, we should go to the hall. Your guests are waiting, " Mrs. Karen smiled. "You deserve to be celebrated in the grandest of ways my best because I know the previous year had been tough on you emotionally so please accept my little gesture of kindness."

"Little? This is nowhere near little, " I locked my arms in hers ( since she compelled me to do so) as we exited the dressing room. I couldn't dislike Mrs. Karen for everything she was doing even if it was extreme. She cared about me and wanted me to happy more than anyone cared for me to be but I just wasn't in the position to appreciate her properly.

The hall was moderately decorated with chandeliers ornate and dimly lighted. There was a miniature sycamore tree situated in the center of the hall with a little ray of light from the very top of the building, shining down on the tree like the travesty of a glasshouse.

The guests were dressed in outfits that were not as 18th century themed as hers.  Many of the guys wore two and three pieced suits, not tailcoats and hats while the ladies wore sequin and sequenced dresses; the likes that one could wear for a prom does not dress that required chemises and literal breathtaking corsets.

I wanted to throw a death glare in Mrs. Karen's way but refrained from doing so when it dawned on me that Mrs. Karen would be the one doing that eventually.

She urged me to mount the stage so I could say a few words to address my guests. Holding the microphone made me more anxious than I had imagined. My attempt at imagining the guests as candy floss to make my speech easier to deliver went futile.

All that raced through my mind were the expressions that were going to be on their faces once the truth spread like wildfire. Their smiles would be gone. My world would crumble and become utterly dark. No one would want to associate with the girlfriend of a rapist.

It wasn't like people associated very much with me in the first place but it wasn't out of proportion. At least they didn't avoid me. It was very terrifying.

I tried to get the image out of my mind but I had a hard time trying and Mrs. Karen noticed. I hoped she would be considerate enough to understand that I didn't need to address the public simply because I was the celebrant.

Luckily she did, so she stepped up and took the mic. Sighing with relief, I stood beside her on the stage so it wouldn't seem as though, I was shying away. At least, it shouldn't be obvious.

"My girl is a bit overwhelmed which is okay so I..."

Mrs. Karen's voice faded away like a distant siren from my hearing when I saw Zion amid the crowd, dressed in a black suit, looking handsome like never before with a wine glass resting leisurely between the fingers of his left hand and his right hand shoved inside his trouser pockets.

Our eyes met. His face was gaunt and decided. Like there was no going back. Nothing I can do to make him change towards me or start loving me. I despised what had become of our relationship as siblings because I had no idea that it was going to get to the level of deterioration.

Now of all times was the worst for me when. He was the only person I could rely on at a time like this but he doesn't care anymore and wouldn't even be on my side if he finds out about my atrocity.

When I felt like tears were going to fall down my eyes, I looked away into the distance and my gaze just happened to be focused on the direction of a door and immediately I regretted looking in that direction.

I saw Gaius at the entrance dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoodie just to show that he couldn't care less if today was my birthday. He meant serious business and it showed in the way he searched all over the place with his eyes for someone...for me.

The day of accountability had arrived. What was I going to do?

I deciphered that now was my turn to do the running and the avoiding. Thankful for the presence of the sycamore tree, I walked around it and past the guest till I could no longer see Gaius in sight. I picked the hem of my dress in my hands so it wouldn't obstruct my movements.

I started to walk hastily to the kitchen and when I got there, I saw two chefs making pasta. Their eyes were on me, wondering why I had barged in just like that but I didn't get a chance to explain myself at all when someone grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the kitchen.

It was Gaius. He caught me and all of my incessant questions as he pulled me farther away from the hall fell on deaf ears. He released his hold on my hand when we got to the front of a room. He breathed out heavily.

"Today is July 8th, " he said very coldly. He didn't care about any other thing.

"Okay, " I answered with nothing else in my mind to say.

"Have you told your mother?"

My palms became moist and suddenly space seemed to be void of air. Only now did I realize that I never really thought of what Gaius was going to do. What was going to be the real repercussion of my decision?

"No."

"Okay. So...for the two weeks you had, you didn't say a word to anyone?" the disappointment flashed in his eyes like a thunderbolt.

"I just couldn't, " I confessed.

"Alright. It's fine that you weren't able to do it."

What was that? How on earth was it fine? Why would he say that? And why would it say with so much calmness?

"W-what do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" he repeated my question and scoffed. "What else am I supposed to mean by saying that?" he smiled and as quickly as the smile came, it disappeared and his eyes nearly grew into slits.

He walked away from my presence and I found him to no avail afterward.

***

The party ended abruptly. All of the guests were sent home. Mrs. Karen promised to compensate everyone for wasting their precious time. I should have known that Gaius was going to find Mrs. Karen and do the confession himself because he knew Zion. He had asked Zion for direction.

"So...you knew all this while and you dared to keep quiet because you don't want him to go to prison, " Mrs. Karen laughed in disbelief. Her make up had nearly washed off completely from her face. It was obvious the revelation made her cry. "You had me thinking you were the victim all along which is why I cared a lot about you. But you didn't even think twice before choosing to protect your boyfriend instead of your family. How could you betray your mom like this?"

I saw all of this coming but I never thought of the right way to compose myself when the time would come. Feeling sorry at that moment felt too fake a thing to do. I knew I was going to regret it way before I made the decision but I ventured into it anyway so why should I let any of her emotional outbursts affect me?

But the word, betrayal broke my unrepentant resolve. It was a call of doom. That was what I had done. Yet, I already started to hate Kosi when I smelled betrayal. At that moment, it suddenly wasn't about Gaius's love, support, and affection for me. I could barely hold on to any tangible reason for picking his side.

Gaius wasn't even on his side so what had I been doing all along if it wasn't betrayal?

Worse of all, I didn't only betray my family. I betrayed myself and it was the craziest thing ever that all along, I thought I was protecting myself and something that mattered to me. Was I that much of a doormat? I had no values, boundaries, and morals to uphold.

"I'll be right back, " Mrs. Karen shook her head and rushed out of the living room. With no idea as to why she left all of a sudden, Zion showed up.

His face was still gaunt but there was even more pain in his eyes. The glass cup was still in his hand and by the way, he looked at me, I knew he wanted to smash the glass on my head.

"You are so rotten that it burns my heart to look you in the face at all. Never knew you were this heartless but why at all should I be surprised though? I mean...you don't even bother to stand up for me. You would do anything for Gaius but covering up for him to mom's disadvantage? That's freaking disgusting. It's so disgusting that...jeez, " his grip on the glass tightened. "Before, I simply thought that you would always let your emotions cloud your thinking which is still true but right now, it has turned you into a serious psychopath because your brain doesn't even function anymore."

I took all of his words. They were mine to absorb because it was the truth. He was right all along. I never really stood up for him and his pointing that out for so long wasn't invalid.

I've made him stand up for me for many years but when it was my turn to reciprocate, something was always standing in the way and I never did enough to put the obstacles aside.

I was so stupid that I couldn't even contain it in my mind. There was no room for me to feel anything because my chest was tight with so much embarrassment.

"Found my phone!" Mrs. Karen stepped back in. "Here, I'm giving you the last grace even if you don't deserve it and it's not going to change the fact that you betrayed your family but you will have to tell this to your mother by yourself. I won't do that. You will and you must."