Yemisi
Bonn, Germany

Immediately after our classes were over at Law School, I wondered for a little moment what to do for the rest of the day when I immediately remembered that I still had to visit the old woman to see how she was doing and to know if I can get something fulfilling out of the visitation.

Lectures today were a breath of fresh air because my attention span was elongated, knowing that I'd met Christopher and laid off everything that was on my chest to him and now everything was left to him – to either work efficiently to save our marriage or wallow in the regret for the pain he has already caused me thus far.

I still loved and needed him but marriage was not supposed to be draining particularly not a marriage like mine when I always have a ton of work to focus on. The least I can have is peaceful matrimony so now I am just going to let it be. I will wait for him to get back while I keep my focus on finding the bastard who was among the six men that raped my younger sister.

I felt someone grab my shoulder and when I turned back, it was Myron I saw who had just been able to pass through the exit on time and catch up to my strides mysteriously.

"Let's go to Bradenburg," she said, panting.

"That was exactly where I had in mind to— oops..."

My phone startled me, abruptly cutting short my reply. Quickly, I checked the Caller ID of the incoming call to see who had the nerve to disturb me when the photo displayed my best friend, Karen.

We hadn't conversed since I arrived in Germany so seeing this call meant more to me than any other thing. It was one of those few important calls that I was willing to pick.

Giving Myron an apologetic glare, I explained to her that our intended voyage might have to be postponed for a more convenient and umpteenth time in the nearest future and she nodded, understanding me completely.

I thanked her and started to jog down the road where, luckily, vehicles were absent. My eyes searched for a good relaxation spot to have a fulfilling conversation with my ally but since there was no place like that forthcoming, I decided to spare her the stress of wasting any more airtime and call her back instead.

"Hello, yemisi!" her voice came to my hearing as she sounds relieved to hear my voice after a couple of weeks.

"Karen," I called her name like it was my lifeline. Indeed, it was. I wasn't used to depending on anyone but Karen was a backbone, a strong one; like that piece of bone that was needed to make your spinal cord function most appropriately.

I felt very bad for not depending on her like I was supposed to. It felt like I was deliberately declining that piece of bone needed to make my spinal cord function so I could stand properly.

Like I was willing to be crippled.

Worse off, I knew that if she hadn't called me today, I probably wouldn't have called her any time soon. I had a good amount of issues to solve but that didn't justify me abandoning a friend that genuinely cared and sacrificed for me. I hoped that she would read deeply into the tone in which I had used to call her name.

"Don't apologize for not calling me. I can tell that that's what you are about to do. I know you have a lot to deal with."

"Don't make light of my inadequacy, girl, " I scoffed, dismissively. "the least I owe you is an apology. You have a lot to deal with as well. I'm the worst friend ever and I'm sorry about that."

"Ugh. I'm accepting this apology because it's coming from you. I know I might never get another one."

"Yes and that's because I won't be a bad friend anymore. Come on, Karen! I might be uptight and strict but it doesn't mean I'm wicked or arrogant."

"Okay girl, whatever. How are you doing?"

"I'm relatively okay. I'm doing okay. I just got finished with my lessons for the day at law school and I already made plans to continue with my investigation when your call came in."

So I practically postponed it because your call is important to me, surely.

I wanted to add that in my conversation but decided against it. I might come off as arrogant or self-pleasing. I didn't want my value for her to come off as me doing it to "be nice" because I'm sure Karen can do well without me fueling our friendship with words that seem pretentious. She's sticking around because she loves me and knows that I love her too.

Finally, I found a little grassland as I continued to walk down the road, and thankfully, it wasn't too full of people. The leaves from the trees fell in an orderly manner, fickle without the aid of togetherness that the other leaves provided and lightweight just like the wind had loved it. A dictatorial connection.

The afternoon carried out its dual job of shining its vibrant light but not ceasing to be accompanied by a relaxing, ethereal breeze that momentarily blew peace onto my body as I took a seat across the bench I spotted. I rested my back comfortably, as I watched people pass by.

"That's good to hear. How far have you gone with the investigation?"

"Well...I've been able to interrogate the woman and I was able to get the basic facts of the whole incidence – the fact that the culprit raped her six-year-old granddaughter till she died and worse off, the culprit is a police officer. A goddamn enforcer of the law!"

"That's crazy. Oh my God. I feel so bad for the woman."

"Girl, I feel worse because hearing the old lady's background story made it ten times crazier and even harder for me not to cry which explains why I must find that animal at all costs because that lady has been through hell. Imagine losing all your children and the only family you have left is your grandchild and then a deranged bastard does such evil. I'll grab him by the bollocks once I find him and set his scrotum ablaze. If it turns out to be that he was one of the men who raped my sister, then God shouldn't have mercy because his punishment will be worse."

"Was the woman able to give you any valid description of the culprit though?"

"Well... To an extent, yes. She has Alzheimer's unfortunately but she was able to remember that the culprit limps when walking because one leg is thinner than the other."

"That's beyond valid. In fact, in my opinion, it's better than a facial description."

"Yes because you barely find people with that body structure. It's pretty detailed."

"I got your back for sure. I hope you get him real quick."

"Me too. How's the investigation going so far for you? Any significant progress?"

"Babe, there's a bit of bad news but I'll share the good news first. So, I was able to get a clear photograph of the guy who said he was going to turn himself in. It was a shot from the video footage of that particular day so his face wasn't revealed just like his accomplice had said. Nevertheless, it will help a great deal because you will be able to mark out some distinctive features in his body outline. I've sent the photo via imessage."

"I will take a look once we are done with this conversation. What's the bad news?"

"Getting the photograph was surprisingly a herculean task which is not supposed to be so in any way but when I went to the prison to have a look at the camera footage of the day the guy came around, the personnel wouldn't grant me access. I got so pissed, wondering why they were treating me like a stranger when they knew me well. I asked them why they won't let me have a look but they had nothing to say. It was when my assistant who also works with them walked in and was able to help me out. I was so glad she came around that day and she came at the right time because I wouldn't have gotten the photograph."

"What is wrong with those dimwits? Barrister Peret said he was going to assist you with the investigation while I help him out with his case over here so why wouldn't they grant you access? I want to believe Barrister Peret already instructed them to aid you with any findings you have to make." my brows furrowed as I ranted.

"I believe so too. Or...maybe he hasn't."

"Then I'd better get in touch with him as soon as possible."

"Or maybe you shouldn't. We already have a picture and besides, the person would be revealed very soon since he plans on turning himself in."

"We might still need to revisit the prison for a good reason so I had better set things right once and for all. I mean, I'm pretty suspicious. Even if we truly might not have a reason to visit the prison, we should at least inform Barrister Peret of this gross show of disrespect so he can rebuke them because what they did to you is unacceptable."

"Okay. I believe you should do that as well. Go ahead."

"Yes. I'll get back to you on that." I assured.

Then, there was silence for a trivial, sudden moment and the silence came from me. Or maybe even Karen. Or the both of us. It seemed like there was one thing she needed me to talk to her about and I felt the need to talk to her about it as well.

Maybe because I knew she cared. Karen might be a bit of a chatterbox or a happy-go-lucky babe but she always meant well for me and it showed which made me contemplate talking to her about my marital issue. I'm not sure if I'm in the perfect mental state to share everything with her but divulging just a little out of it or dropping a hint shouldn't hurt.

I wanted her to care for me like she always did. I yearned to hear that hysteria in her voice if she detected that I was being mistreated. For a slight moment, I wanted to be protected.

"Umm...Karen."

"Yes?" her tone immediately became vibrant again and it was a vibrancy that radiated with concern, a vibrancy that didn't bother to hide her gratitude to the God of the heavens that I was choosing to tell her something.

She must have been so worried.

"What is your definition of a coward?" I asked her before I could even pause to internally ask myself what kind of question that was.

"A coward..." she digested the words, slight disappointment evident in her tone as it was apparent she didn't see that coming. "A coward is someone that's scared of trying anything even when he has a ton of options to pick from. It's a phobia that comes from taking a necessary step or two."

"Hmm. What do you call a guy who is scared of sharing his problems with you and tries to solve it on his own all for the sake of protecting you from a heartache?"

I hoped that she would say that such a person was also a coward so I don't have to feel the tiniest patch of guilt for all the things I said to Christopher because deep down, I knew he was making an effort.

"Aww."

I guess you don't always get what you want.

My heart dropped.

"That person is a real sweetheart! He's nowhere near a coward. He's just a cutie who needs all the assistance and support he can get but would never admit to it due to one reason or the other. It could probably be the pressure to fulfill societal expectations of who a 'man' should be or just something else entirely that he most likely doesn't have any control over in any way. Even if these people don't ask for help, even if they lie to you, they are not coming from a place of wanting to hurt you deliberately. They are just trying so hard. They want the people they love to be proud of doing something on their own."

"How foolish, " I muttered.

I fought hard to eradicate the guilt growing within because I didn't deserve to feel guilty. The life span of the anger that I was determined to harbor didn't deserve to be cut short so abruptly by a friend who was saying what I didn't want to hear.

How is Christopher ending up at an alehouse, drunk, and wasted a conscious effort on his part to save himself and our marriage? 

Even if these people don't ask for help, even if they lie to you, they are not coming from a place of wanting to hurt you deliberately. They are just trying so hard. They want the people they love to be proud of doing something on their own.

Nonsense.

So I should be proud of him spending the night with another woman? And since I've become a robot, I'm not supposed to be hurt by that right?

Deep down, beyond the chaos I was trying to invoke in my heart, I knew, verily so that Karen was right but I just didn't want to accept it yet.

"Aww." one more 'aww' and I will unfriend you, lady! "It might seem foolish and they might do a few foolish things but as I said, it's coming from a genuine place."

"Okay. Thanks for your response. How are my kids doing? I hope they aren't too much for you to handle?"

Never had I been so thankful for the swift ability to change a topic.

"Oh, not at all. Gifty and Zion fought only once but it wasn't something I couldn't manage. I check in on them from time to time and they are doing great."

"I should call them one of these days. I have to make up for my inadequacies and do better."

"Yes, you do but take it easy. They won't be mad whenever you choose to call them. Just take good care of yourself first."

"Sure, I will. Thank you so much, Karen."

"I should let you go now so you can carry on with your investigation."

I postponed it because of you...

"Yeah. Bye. Talk to you later. Hopefully very soon."

After disconnecting the call, I went straight to my text message to view the photo Karen sent. There was nothing really special. The description that the accomplice had given was the exact pictorial representation I'd seen. There was nothing that caught my eye even after I zoomed in on the photo.

Disappointed but not hopeless, I decided that maybe having the picture might not be of use since we were going to find out who it was very soon. Maybe Karen was right and I was perhaps being too obnoxious and uptight.

But little did I know...