Christopher
Bonn, Germany

Picking myself up from the floor long after my wife had walked out on me, I made the resolve within me that I will never fall to the ground like this anymore, defenseless and broken and I will not let Yemisi walk out of my life either.

No matter how shallow and impossible this promise seems, no matter how loud the discouraging voices of my demons might be, I'd made the decision and I would manifest it in any way possible. I must start somewhere. Anywhere.

I must learn to wipe off my tears.

I look around me, observing that my employees were 'going on with their work' after realizing that the soap opera which had just unfolded before their eyes was certainly not required to them to interfere in but I can hear distant sounds of giggling and chortling.

They are mocking their wussy of a boss of course.

Speaking of mockery from your subordinates...

I jerk my head to the left like a wolf that had just perceived blood from a mile away and I kept cocking my head till my eyes found him and landed on him properly.

Gritting my teeth together and tightening my fists, I seethe with fury as the memory of that fateful day plays in my mind. Undoubtedly, it was his voice I'd heard when I dialed his number asking him to come and bail me from the police station but he dared to know that woman with the blazing red lipstick and had plotted with her to give me the most dangerous surprise. She was in the background, listening to our conversation that very day, and had asked him to let her come and bail me instead and he dared to allow her. He knew her.

The bastard!

How had I not noticed that he came to work today? And what gave him the nerve to work tediously on that computer before him like be had not sold me out to that blazing-red-lipstick-horsey so she could have easier access to me? Why did he skip work if he was going to show up later on like nothing happened?

Ah! I shouldn't be surprised he had the nerve to appear at work since he has a fool for a boss who would most likely not figure out what happened or would accept whatever stupid excuse was given to him without being suspicious or taking any drastic action whatsoever.

Holy Moly!

I will put an end to this cowardice and naivety. I must. I have to.

As I storm over to this desk, his gaze shifts from the computer before him to my face. He batted his eyelashes to make it look like he was scared. Seventeen seconds later, he swallowed and his irises started to move from one end to the other. He was starting to get scared for real.

I must practice the act of staring intensely at people more often.

"I know what you did and I won't say more than that. You're fired!"

"S-sir... What do you mean? I don't u-understand, " his eyes became the size of saucers if not dinner plates but beneath that stunt, I could see pretense and semblance swirling in those bulging eyes of his.

"Do you want to understand it the hard way? I'm sure you don't."

Slamming my fists against his desk in rage, most of the papers on his desk went flying freely in the air which elicits shrieks and gasps from the onlooking employees. I started to realize just how much I'd let people lie to me and swindle me because I believed in them too much. Because I was innocent. Innocent to my utmost detriment. If I wasn't so naive, there was no way I wouldn't have noticed the signs of deception in Mr. Damian long before that incident happened. If I wasn't so naive, I would have protected my family long before danger comes lurking.

"Get. Away. Now!"

Quickly grabbing his briefcase from his desk, he dashed out of my company like a forest bunny. Good, God! There are so many things I haven't been doing right.

Of course, you've been shying away. As a coward.

Oh, give me a damn break!

Turning round to face the rest of my employees, I decipher that it was high time I let them know about my profound zeal to take drastic actions henceforth. The willingness to act smart.

"I won't hesitate to fire anyone at any time. All you need to do is misbehave in the slightest of ways and you are out of this company for good!"

When I saw some of the male employees flinch, I wasn't surprised because I knew how cold my tone was. I could feel the icicles. If I wasn't the one speaking, I would have flinched as well or would have frozen if care was not taken.

There was complete decorum that if an ant had farted, you probably would have heard it.

I knew I'd exercised power for the first time in my life.

***

A few hours had passed by but I was still feeling empty, thinking of how to gain Yemisi's love and trust back. I miss her and I wish she would not leave me like that. I wished the whole process of forgiveness and redemption did not have to take so much time.

I wish it was easy and didn't require much thinking to come up with a way of making it up to someone you've disappointed and them believing that you are a better person without having to do so much. The latter part is always the hardest.

For how long can I bear to be apart from her now that we have already met? How much am I willing to do? How will I prove my love to her?

Knowing for sure that I won't have it all figured out immediately, I decided that perhaps, giving myself a break from my dilemma would be very essential and helpful - just what I need. Moreover, the only thing that has been on my mind apart from how to get rid of Irene has been to speak to my step-children.

My wife hates me now but my step-children don't and that's the advantage I have. The only advantage I stand upon. I know Yemisi won't be so quick to tell Gifty and Zion about our problems. Also, I had the feeling that she wasn't completely done with me yet. I knew she needed me to prove myself.

Walking out of the smoothie shop with a cup of milkshake in hand, I take a seat by the pavilion right outside of the shop and dialed Gifty's number after settling in. The breeze coming forth from the sun sinking below the horizon was adequately proportionate to provide some cool to my throbbing, aching heart.

"Dad! You called today!" her shrill voice did inexplicable wonders to my heart. I don't want to ever not hear this voice again. I must do all it takes.

"Yes, I called today." I smiled. "I'm sorry it took this long. How are you doing?"

"I'm relatively okay," she answered with a hint of hesitation in her voice.

Hesitation? I don't like the sound of that.

"Hmm. How is your brother?"

"We are not on good terms, Dad."

Aha! This is why!

"Why? Is he being mean to you again?"

"Yes, but I can't take it this time. Lately, we've been having the most intense fights. It breaks my heart to see him become so mean to me that I cry myself to sleep every day. We haven't been speaking to each other."

"That's serious. Talk to me. What's going on?" I pleaded, surprised to know that this chaotic occurrence was going on between my children and neither of us was aware.

"I haven't told anyone about everything going on between us. Not even Mrs. Karen who has been stopping by to look after us and I'm glad you're the first person I'm sharing this with because I was starting to wonder how long I could keep it all in. Zion feels betrayed by the fact that I don't stand up for him when he always stands up for me but it's not like that. I've been dealing with my issues and have been having intrusive thoughts day in, day out. He happened to need me on one of the days where I was nowhere near emotionally balanced so I snapped at him in the presence of his colleagues at volleyball and they started mocking him for having a sister who can't defend him. When I tried to make him understand that I won't neglect him deliberately, he called me insecure, selfish, and wicked. He didn't even let me apologize to him. I've never seen him get so angry at anyone like that before but he hates me now."

I felt a painful tug at my chest. Oh, God. Not my children going through this.

"Give him time. He'll come around. He's your brother and he still loves you very much. This is just one of those big fights that siblings have." I paused, wondering if my advice was making any sense at all then I continued. "If something bad happens to you today, he'll protect you regardless of what has been going on between you two because that's what siblings do."

"Hmm. Okay, Dad."

"Besides, what have you been going through apart from your issues with Zion? What's making you emotionally unstable?"

"I'm not in the right state of mind to talk about it right now, Dad but it's another issue I have with someone I love."

Someone she loves? Does my stepdaughter have a boyfriend? Is she emotionally stable and ready enough to have one? I don't want her to end up being like me to her partner.

"Alright then. I will respect your privacy. Just take care of yourself and call me if you need to tell me anything or do you want me to call Zion and tell him to apologize to you if you are bothered that he won't talk to you for a long time?"

"Err...let me give him a little time with hopes that he will come around."

It was infuriating to see that I couldn't even come up with an effective way to solve my problems but I was busy giving my daughter good advice. Talk about parenting. Could it be any worse than this?

"While you are hoping he will come around, you could just try to make your presence more known to him so he'll know that you aren't leaving him and you care. You may not necessarily need to apologize. Just be around him."

Can I do the same thing with Yemisi without being swallowed up by guilt and regrets? Maybe? Maybe not? Can I follow my advice?

"Enough about me, Dad," she said. My heart started to beat very speedily. "How is the situation of things between you and Mum?" I was hoping our conversation wouldn't come to this point but what I was expecting after calling her?

"Can I ask you for a little favor?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Respect my privacy too." I chuckled and I heard her scoff lightly. Nervously, I take a sip from the milkshake in the plastic cup I was holding. "But I promise you, we are not getting a divorce. Everything is going to be okay."

"Alright dad, " she sighed. "But...have you two been able to have a conversation since she got to Germany? Because I was afraid you wouldn't meet since she's there to solve a case and would be very busy."

We just met a few hours ago my love but how can I ever tell you that? When I treated her like crap?

I swallowed hard. God, this girl is learning how to question people from a certain someone. A certain someone that I don't want to talk about right now.

"Yes. We were able to meet."

Please don't ask me how the meeting went. Please.

"Oh. That's great."

Phew! Thank you, God!

"I have to go now, baby girl. I will call you more often. I promise, " I said quickly before she got to ask me another heavy question.

"Alright, dad. It was nice hearing from you."

"Me too my love. Bye."

As I disconnected the call, I didn't have much time to ruminate on the conversation we just had because the sight of a bouquet stretched neatly by the premises of a maternity home adjacent to where I sat had seized my attention completely.

The beautifully setting sun cast its fiery, red light spreading warmth over the city as lights from speeding cars sprinkled its dose of magic over the city's evening glory but somehow the red light from the sun sinking the horizon had reminded of a certain someone who constantly wore blazing red lipstick ever since she'd made her unwanted presence known in my life and was bent on removing yemisi out of the picture.

But it all depends on me now and I plan on changing that quandary. Beyond the illusion that the sky displayed red colors and I had read it as an omen of soon-to-be destroyed matrimony, I could choose to see it as the first color on the line of a forthcoming rainbow if only I was willing to imbibe a proper approach to the storm before me.

Reminiscing over the conversation I had with my stepdaughter for some weird reason, a sudden idea dropped in my mind like a bomb or fireworks rather because this was rather helpful than aggravating. It seemed as though whenever I made a resolve to do better, an unknown force just aids my determination, making me wonder why I had not acted or made that resolve earlier enough.

Gazing at the maternity home afar off, I grinned, knowing just what I could do; an attempt I could make towards showing Yemisi that our marriage was still worth the try.

Perfecto!