⚠️ [Mature-ish] ⚠️

Chanyeol's hand slid along Baekhyun's waist as they kissed, his lips traveling down to his navel. Baekhyun's legs tightened around Chanyeol's hips as his back arched and a breathy sigh escaped his parted lips. Chanyeol continued to delicately kiss him as he slowly ran a finger around the rim of Baekhyun's hole. Baekhyun moaned and raked his nails across Chanyeol's bare back before sliding them into the hair at the nape of his neck.

Chanyeol pushed his way in and peppered Baekhyun with kisses to distract him from the pain as Chanyeol stretched apart the muscled walls. Baekhyun groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he grew accustomed to the feeling of Chanyeol inside him, only for him to remove his hand before replacing it with his hard cock. Baekhyun gasped and his eyes tightened shut.

Chanyeol's warm breath blew across his ear as he softly asked, "Did I hurt you?"

Baekhyun shook his head. "Mhm! No," Baekhyun gasped. "I'm okay. J-just keep going."

Baekhyun kept his eyes closed as he wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's neck and buried his face in his shoulder, exhaling slow and even breaths as he focused on the feeling of Chanyeol inside him. He never wanted to forget this feeling of Chanyeol, both of them becoming one as they made passionate love.

Chanyeol was nothing like Daehyun, who never made him feel the way he felt with Chanyeol. With Chanyeol, it was otherworldly and beautiful and full of longing and sorrow and love. With Daehyun, there had always been a need but never an emotional connection like the one he had begun to build with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun fought back his tears as he tightened his hold around Chanyeol's body, and arched his hips up to meet him. He didn't want this moment to be sad.

Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun's face; planting pecks on his forehead, cheeks, and nose. He kissed Baekhyun's eyes next, brushing his lips gently like the wings of a butterfly against his eyelid before softly whispering, "Open you eyes . . ." Baekhyun's eyes slowly fluttered open as Chanyeol tenderly kissed him, their lips brushing together as he quietly said, "Don't look away."

Baekhyun nodded and moved his hands to Chanyeol's cheeks, cupping them gently as he leaned forward to capture them in a chaste kiss. Chanyeol answered his kiss as they continued to love.

* * *

Baekhyun was woken by the gentle shaking of his shoulder later in the day. He blinked his eyes open slowly, allowing them to adjust to the light before he glanced up.

His mother was standing above him. Baekhyun frowned and opened his mouth to say something when from beside him he heard a soft sound. He glanced over to see Chanyeol laying beside him, his bare back exposed to the sunlight. Baekhyun's mouth dropped open in horror and his cheeks paled as his head whirled back around to face his mother.

"Mom! I–I . . ." he trailed off, unable to explain that what she was seeing wasn't what it was. There was simply no point. Instead, Baekhyun's eyes filled with tears and he dropped his head into his hands. "Shit," he whispered.

Mrs. Byun smiled gently as she rubbed Baekhyun's shoulder and said, "Sweetheart, it's okay. I already know your gay. Don't cry, okay?"

Baekhyun sniffled and slightly lifted his head as he quietly muttered, "Y-you knew?"

Mrs. Byun softly laughed and squeezed Baekhyun's shoulder as she said, "Of course! I knew something was up when every time Daehyun came over and you claimed to be studying in your room. You care about our grades, I know, but no one studies that much." Mrs. Byun chuckled.

Baekhyun blushed in response and asked, "Does dad know?"

"Yes," she softly replied. Then she glanced over at Chanyeol's sleeping form and smiled sadly before she asked, "Are you being careful?" Baekhyun nodded. "Good. Chanyeol can't take too much at once." She sighed.

"So how long has this been going on?" she asked curiously.

"Officially," Baekhyun said, "a few days ago. Truthfully, since the moment I saw him sitting outside the main office at school."

Mrs. Byun nodded and softly muttered, "You're so incredibly smart, honey, but this . . ." She trailed off with another sigh. "This is wrong."

"What?" Baekhyun whispered. His mother's words ripping his heart out as small tears flooded his eyes. "How can you say that! I lov—-"

"Shush, honey! I didn't mean it that way," she quietly reassured him. She sighed. "What I meant was, getting close again —- especially now —- is only going to hurt you both. I don't want you to hurt, sweetheart."

"I already hurt," Baekhyun whispered. "But I'm....I'm dealing with it."

Mrs. Byun sighed. "Okay, Baekhyun. You're an adult and I know I can't talk you away, just....just make him happy. And love him right," she whispered before leaning forward to kiss his forehead. She cast one last look at Chanyeol before leaving the room.

Once the door had closed behind him, the tears began to fall down Baekhyun's cheeks. He quickly wiped them away, but for every tear he wiped away another one immediately replaced it. And before he knew it, he was quietly sobbing.

Chanyeol was dreaming about sailing, the boat rocking beneath him and sea water splashing up to hit him. The wind blowing through his hair and hitting his face. The sun bright and—-

Chanyeol was pulled out of his dream as beads of water glided down his chest and the bed gently shook beneath him. He groggily blinked his eyes open and squinted against the setting sun. As his eyes slowly adjusted, he noticed Baekhyun laying across his chest, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

That explains the dream . . . Chanyeol thought as he lifted his arm and gently rubbed Baekhyun's back. He softly hushed him and kissed his forehead.

"Baek, please don't cry. It's okay. Everything's okay," Chanyeol soothed.

Baekhyun hiccupped and balled his fist against Chanyeol's chest before hitting him as he sobbed, "No it's not!" Baekhyun pulled out of Chanyeol's embrace as he cried, "No it's not, Chanyeol! You may be able to accept your death but the thought of losing you is killing me!"

"You think I've accepted it?" Chanyeol asked in a low, dangerous voice. Baekhyun gulped as he immediately fell silent. "Fuck, Baek. How can I accept the fact that after all these years I'm finally with you again only to lose you? How can I accept that as I speak the cancer is slowly eating away at my brain? How can I accept that I've had to have a hair transplant before coming back to see because the chemotherapy made me bald? How can I accept that soon enough I won't be able to do anything I love? How can I accept that my very last breath will be in the same place my mother was taken away from me?" Chanyeol trailed off as he took a steady breath before continuing. "So please, you may be losing me, but I'm the one who's losing everything else . . ."

The room fell silent, the only sound was of their breathing and the chirping of the birds outside Baekhyun's window. Tension was thick between them for the first time, and Baekhyun held his breath until he just couldn't take it anymore and blurted, "I'm so sorry! I'm making this about myself and it's wrong. I'm selfish and a horrible person who doesn't deserve your kindness and love. I'm so sorry, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun cried before turning over onto his stomach and throwing the blanket over his head.

He started to cry again.

He really was selfish and horrible. He thought he could have everything. Two boyfriends; a blissfully irrogant life; and a happy ending. He was wrong. He didn't deserve a happy ending, but Chanyeol did. Chanyeol was good, selfless, kind, caring, and loving to those who didn't deserve it.

He's the one who deserved his life, and if there was some way Baekhyun could give it to him, he'd do it in a heartbeat. But he couldn't because the world was cruel and took anyway from the people who deserved everything good in life. Who didn't deserve to slowly die as a monster ate away at his body bit-by-bit, day-by-day, and year-after-year until there would be nothing left but a memory.

Park Chanyeol didn't deserve to die.

Baekhyun stayed beneath his blanket, silent tears continuously rolling down his cheeks as Chanyeol silently laid beside him. Moments passed, tears dried, and feelings healed. Chanyeol mended the bridge first.

Baekhyun felt the bed shift as Chanyeol scooted closer and slowly pulled the blanket off Baekhyun's face. He kissed the back of his neck and wrapped a reassuring arm around his waist. "Let's not talk about the inevitable . . ."

"I just want to enjoy lying here with you, surrounded by your scent as I selfishly forget the world and my life. All I want to do is lie here with you in my arms and hold you. I don't ever want to let you go . . ." Chanyeol trailed off. "So will you be selfish with me and allow me to love you unconditionally?"

Baekhyun sniffled and wiped his eyes before slowly turning over to face Chanyeol. He wound his arms around his waist and buried his face in his shoulder.

"Okay. Let's be selfish," Baekhyun whispered.

Word count: 1,561