....I'd like to say that rather than "I didn't make it to TheWattys Short List".

Why? Because I want to remain positive.

Am I sad? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Heartbroken? YES. Dude, I'm a human too! But will I stop writing? DEFINITELY NOT. Why? Your dream of winning The Wattys just crashed and burned. Because I LOVE writing. Losing my chance of winning The Wattys will never change that.

Actually these last few days, I've been thinking of both possibilities: winning and losing.

If I won The Wattys, I could inspire other writers who continually doubt themselves (like me). I could tell them that dreams do come true if you are willing to work hard and refuse to give up. I could also tell my parents that this is truly something I want to pursue, not just a fleeting thought, mindless dreaming, or hopeful thinking.

If I didn't win The Wattys, I could inspire myself to work harder, to learn more every day, to stop being a lazy arse when the editing time comes. It will hard for me to believe in myself again but I know that you, my angels (dearest readers), are going to help me get back on my feet. The worst scenario of this narrative was me taking a few months hiatus or something like that.

So right now, as the Short List was announced, what will I do? Binge watching BTS Run and K-drama until I feel better! XD

But if I'm honest with you all, looking back a year ago, when I just started writing with no editor, no one to help me, no readers as well (since I basically had to beg people to read my story), right now, I'm feeling grateful. Why? Because THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR!

A year ago, ENTWINED only had 1K reads (I have a lot of screenshots to prove it since I was so so happy it reached 1K reads that I took multiple screenshots and grinned the whole day like an idiot). Now? 2,179,919 reads. A year ago, ENTWINED only had 527 votes (again, I have lots of screenshots as proof). Now? Close to 100K votes (currently 99,194 and counting, hopefully).

A year ago, this noob author only has 127 followers. Now? Not to brag but 8,649 (and counting, hopefully). A year ago, no one paid no mind to what I posted. I mean, why would you want to pay attention to a nobody like me? Now? Well, that doesn't change much (lol) but I do have people who messaged me, asking for advice. Like me giving advice, can anyone imagine? I can't.

A year ago, I wasn't an Ambassadors. Now? I'm a content, data, and outreach ambassador. I could help new writers while carrying my duty as an Outreach ambassador and assist HQ with projects around data, machine learning algorithm, and how we deal with assessing the information we have to benefit the Wattpad Community. Yes, I copied the details about Data Ambassador's duty from The Ambassador Program book on the Ambassadors profile (lol) because I could not describe it any better.

A year ago, I was an introvert writer (still am, but not as severe) who was afraid of being opened to anyone as I feared rejection. Now? There are at least a dozen Wattpad users that I could call friends and even best friends. If you're thinking that I am talking about you then yes, you are right (;

See that? There is a LOT OF STUFF HAPPENED in a year that I AM THANKFUL for.

I am grateful that I took an initiative to create a Wattpad account two years ago. I am grateful that I started to write despite struggling with a really bad news at that time. I am grateful that I overcame my fear and published my first book (ENTWINED) here on Wattpad. Above all else, I am grateful that I have you all, lovely people, supporting me throughout the year. Thank you. I love you. I really do, this is not a figure of speech.

Okay when I abruptly left from my daily conversation with treeleavez on Twitter a few minutes ago, I didn't imagine that I will write this long. Now I'm having trouble ending this chapter so let me just say some really wise, inspiring quotes I heard today.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift... that is why it is called the present. -- Master Oogway, Kungfu Panda.

Yesterday is done, and although occasionally lessons can be learned from the days previous, we shouldn't dwell on them, berate ourselves, or beat ourselves up over perceived failures. But today genuinely is a gift, and when tomorrow becomes today, that will be too. So don't forget to take 5 minutes occasionally. Lean back and take a breath, close your eyes, go outside and enjoy the air, or whatever calms you. The world will not begrudge you a few minutes here and there.

Enjoy your weekend everyone, and don't forget to step away from your screens: look towards the mystery of the future perhaps, but enjoy the gift of the now too.

loads of pizza, your noob neighborhood author, agatha x