33. But a Wonderful Future is Here
"My grandpa and your grandpa were classmates. They know each other for a long time. And you know what, your father even came to our wedding," he said and I rolled my eyes hearing that.
The world is too small; we are living around with the people who are somehow connected to us. We can never skip anyone whom we should be meant to meet, even if you don't want to. That's the way I see this indirect meeting of me and my father.
"And yes, he's married to your mother for a year and my grandfather knows that story too,"
"Oh, did you told him that I am his daughter?"
"No, why should I? You know about my grandpa, if I say this he's will turn this into a big issue," Vijay answered.
"Better don't tell him please," I said and hugged his arms while sitting outside the house watching the night sky.
"You shouldn't have to tell me this," Vijay said caressing my back.
"What we should do now?" I asked him.
"Let's go back to Coimbatore first and then decide," he said.
"I have decided, I should see my father and I want to ask him why he did that to us," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," I nodded but I am not sure either.
"Oh God! I shouldn't have come here in the first place," I said to Vijay leaning on his shoulders. "And I shouldn't have found out that my mother was a victim of honor killing and my dad was a... I don't know how to describe that man," tears welled in my eyes to think about them.
"I can understand you. Just forget everything." Vijay nodded and hugged me.
But I don't know how can it will go away. It's right here in front of me. All my positive memories with my adoptive father just vanished out my head and now only filled with this. I wish I should forget everything sooner. Just because they gave birth to me doesn't mean they are my parents. I have only one parent, they gave a decent life and I am here because of them. They will be my parent, always.
The next day we came back to Coimbatore. Tired of traveling all day, I stayed in bed and didn't talk much with Vijay. He knows from the very start that it's going to hurt me, but I didn't listen. Sometimes things won't happen in the way we want to be. I thought their past won't affect me in any way but it turns out to happen in the most traumatic way. Crying here is no use, if this is what doomed to happen then who am I to cry, who am I to change, and who am I to judge.
So I got down from the bed, took a hot bath, and asked Vijay to take me to my father.
"Look Aarthi, we can go some other time," Vijay said while watering the plant and tried to convince me but I didn't listen to him. Finally, he accepted to take me there and we got inside the car. Vijay asked his grandpa about where my father lives and after getting the address he drove there.
"Aarthi, don't get angry at him immediately," he advised.
"Okay," I nodded.
"If you want to beat him don't think twice before doing it," he said.
I chuckled.
"But don't do that. Letting your emotion to rule you will be easy at that moment but I know how much it will affect you after that."
"Okay," I again gave a nod.
"Look, this is stupid. I think he's not going to accept anything that he has done,"
"I don't want that either,"
"Then why we are going there?"
"I don't know, I just want to see him,"
"For one last time," I told and turned to the other side.
When we reached his sophisticated house, not more than our home. Vijay stopped, "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yes, I am sure," I said and that time the gates of that house opened to reveal a man. We were still sitting in the car and as soon as I see him, I felt that he must be my father.
"That's is your father," Vijay said.
"Shall we go and talk to him?" he asked.
"No," I shook my head.
Then a girl who must be two or three years younger than me came out of the house calling him "Appa,"
"That's his daughter and he has a son too," Vijay said, "I heard his wife is also from a rich family,"
"As far as I heard, whatever that your Aunt said is all true. He was part of your mother's death."
I just went blank looking at his face. I don't know how to react because I couldn't feel anything. My entire body becomes numb as I have died. More than anger I wondered how could he live after doing such a thing, doesn't he have any conscience?
Joining hands with his daughter, they walked on the road. I got down immediately.
"Aarthi!" Vijay held my hand thinking that I am going to do something stupid.
"Don't worry, I am not going to do anything that you're thinking," I said and followed them to the nearby park. Vijay trailed along with me and didn't stop me after that.
By standing afar, I watched how much he's close to his daughter, the way he cracks jokes, and the way she smiles for that. Her eyes were telling how much she is happy to have a father like him. And he's so proud to have a beautiful daughter like her. Where I can stand with them. It won't make any sense at all.
What is the point of getting revenge when I am the one who's going to get hurt in the end? He will easily tell me that I am not his daughter but what I will become. Maybe he's a good man to these children, I can't do this, I shouldn't stand here and expect something which won't happen to me in the least.
I turned and looked at Vijay. "Go and slap him," he said seeing how happy that man with no remorse.
"No, why should I do that? I don't know who's that man, let's leave this place," I said and held his hand.
"You okay?" he asked in concern.
"Yes," I nodded but I couldn't hold my tears back. "You're right, I should forget this entire thing," I cried hugging him.
"I know you're not okay, but you shouldn't feel bad for anything that's going on in your head," he advised.
I don't know... I couldn't understand this... Why? Why I am born like this? Why I had lived all these years without knowing anything about it and after finding the whole thing, why should I feel this way?
This pain is so unbearable yet I have to endure it to pass on this. God!
After we came back home, I took medicines for sleep and sat on the window side watching the drizzling rain. Vijay sat beside me and stared me silently.
"Am I looking like an idiot?" I asked.
He chuckled, "If you're an idiot then what I am?"
"You know what you're better than me. I just don't know what to do, I can't even go there and talk to him a word. I am guilt for born this way," I said, "There's nothing I lost but I feel depressing. I should have started all this,"
"I know this is hard, but you know what, you're the best person I have known in my life."
"You're great and he doesn't deserve to have a daughter like you. It's his loss. You taught me so many things, Aarthi. You're the wisest person who taught me how to live. I sometimes wonder how can you be like this? You're so precious," he had tears while telling that.
"Whatever that happened in your past or my past, we aren't the reason for it. Purposely we aren't part of anything. We just came from the wrong places."
I cried hearing that. "Think it is all a bad dream and forget it. Will you do it for us?" he asked taking my hand.
"Yes," I nodded and he embraced me with all his love.
In life, we don't know what we will face at every second of your existence. I have never believed all of these would happen to me until I face it all now. And out of all, I have never imagined that Vijay would be the one holding me together without letting me break.
I am finally able to calm, for having Vijay. I hope that there will be one day in the future, where happiness will wane the time to think about all these sufferings, and that day isn't that far to come.
"Everything is fleeting in this miserable world, just remember that this too shall pass and I am here for you, always," he said and I smiled hearing that.
The End
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