Despite witnessing the consequences of Giuseppe's presence while he wasn't MIA as he is now, there remain to be permanent side effects of the whole scandal. For example, Hamilton hasn't sat with us since she first departed in sixth grade, and I don't think she's even said a word to me, either, even if she's extremely talkative with other people. Siracha Delaporte has become better friends with us after Giuseppe was, in a way, vanquished slightly, but we don't hang out with her as much as we did, which still wasn't often; she was resting in between a third tier and second tier friend. Giuseppe is also now the home screen on my phone, and has been for a few months, because I haven't taken the time to change it to something else (but is there anything better than Giuseppe on your phone, honestly?). In the time thatGiuseppe was still here, we tried creating a feminine version of him namedGurka, but she was quickly misplaced. We are still kind of searching.

This is by far my favorite story to tell, so I'm glad to have shared it with you. Thank you for not dying halfway through from the terror of Giuseppe.