I texted Veronica while we ate our 'dinners'

"No phones at the dinner table" Jake said before going back to his food, "yes mom" I laughed, "but we don't have a table and I'm allowed to go on my phone on the bed" I smiled creating a loophole.

'Do you have a date yet?' I texted her waiting a while for her reply and in the middle of watching desperate housewives she texted back,

'Not yet give me a few more days' She replied leaving me more annoyed.

"I'm gonna go for a walk" I told Jake standing up and leaving without letting him reply, I grabbed my phone to make sure nothing would go wrong this Time.

I remembered which directions I took just in case, I stood outside a Target which I now New the route to off by heart.

'Answerback ASAP look if you don't wanna meet me just yet please just tell me cause I can't wait this long I have to finish senior year' I texted walking back and forth through the aisles.

I'd say I'd gone through each aisle at the pase a mile per second about 30 times, I kept checking my texts until I got sick of waiting, I rang her several times, the text now said read which meant she was ignoring,

'Just give me an answer' I repeated but yet again I got no reply.

I grabbed a jar of something and threw it as far and as hard as I could, it smashed into millions of pieces, some bouncing up and grazing me hand which I threw it with, "Ma'am are you ok?" An employee shouted running towards me but I was done with this bullshit, I picked up the biggest shard of glass and put it in my pocket and I walked over the crunched shattered glass and the substance in which was contained in the jar and left the store. I picked partials of glass from my hand and wiped the blood from it.

'I'm serious' I texted her as I picked up my pace until I was almost jogging, all of the texts said read which made me even more angry, nobody was around so no one could stop me.

The bad thoughts returned, thoughts which made me forget the good stuff,

'Veronica please cause I could do something neither me or you want cause I have no control over myself!' I texted as my hands began shaking, yet again I couldn't control my broken body I stepped into the quite road wishing it was busy. I shut my eyes and continued to walk, I promised Jake, I heard my phone chime with a message, I opened my eyes, my mind snapped and went back to its usual state, I was nearly fully across the road but I was too late, the bright lights nearly blinded me but at least it didn't do much else.

I managed to pry open my eyes to reveal a Middle Aged big man staring down at me, "Don't be dead" he panicked, I tried speaking but I was too scared too, "can you try get up little one? He begged but I was in shock and incapable of moving, "what did I hit? I saw you and braked as fast as possible but it doesn't look like I hit you" he stated trying to lift me up, I felt a searing pain in my hip when he sat me up, "You Ok?" He asked hopefully, "You're not messed up in the head, suicidal?" He asked.

"God no!" I shouted, surprised by my reaction, the word scared me and I would never consider myself to be, "well looks like you're able to speak" he laughed getting up and getting back into his truck, "look little thing, if you're hurt just give em my name, it's Billy Johnson and if you need an ambulance tell me" he said, I shook my head and he got back into his truck and drove away.

I reached my hand into the pocket wear most of the pain and blood was coming from, I felt the shard of glass poking out but I wasn't able to pull it out cause it was too painful, "fuck fuck fuck" I shouted trying to pull it out but I couldn't it was lodged in my hip, "so much for trying to keep some memorabilia!" I tried saying but tears were to busy clogging my throat.

I hobbled my way back to the hotel where I pulled out my phone to check the text I got before I ducked from the car and basically stabbed myself.

'Look I want to meet you but give me some time please!? And Vanessa please be careful xx' "bitch" I whisper before pushing myself through the hotel room door,

"Hey" Jake smiled before seeing my pale face, "Vanessa?" He asked concerned,

"something happened, something bad" I said as more tears rushed down my cheeks, he guided me over and helped me lie down on the bed. "Tell me everything that happened" he hushed me obviously not noticing the blood on the sheets and how much I was shaking.

"Pull it out" I whispered, "what?" He asked confused, "Pull it out!" I cried pointing to my hip, he glanced at my side and immediately his jaw dropped, "Holy Shit! Nessa just close your eyes, there's a lot of blood, I'll pull it out but as soon as I do don't touch it!" He shouted, he grabbed his belt and a spare one and quickly put both of them above and below the damaged area, "Don't move when I do, you need pressure on the wound so you won't lose that much blood so what you're going to do is scream as much as you want into the pillow but keep your hands away" he ordered while keeping my legs down on the bed. He grabbed a first aid kit from the bathroom, "alright it doesn't look too deep so I don't think you'll need stitches but I will need to clean it out so just don't touch" he said before the screaming would begin.

I didn't black out which was something I wanted so I wouldn't feel the pain, he rubbed disinfectant all over the cut which forced me to shriek in pain, "the glass has been removed successfully" speaking like an astronaut obviously trying to make me laugh but I couldn't, "while I do this explain what happened" he said before continuing to clean the gash.

"I was texting Veronica" I exhaled through tears, "I New if something went wrong I would lose it so I threw a glass jar and got most of the anger out of me" I cried as I felt a horrible stinging sensation, "I wanted to keep some of the broken glass for some shitty diary I have so I put a shard in my pocket" I sobbed. "I began making my way home when a truck came at me, it didn't hit me but I got so scared that I fell to my side, I didn't feel the pain until he drove off" I whispered, exhausted from crying.

"It's ok, it's out now and your all bandaged up" he smiled giving me a quick peck on my lips and pulling off the bed sheets and going down to reception to ask for more. I lay traumatized on the bed breathing more heavily than I ever had even more then when I broke four of my fingers when Rebecca slammed the car door on them, that was a bad day, I began replaying it in my mind just to distract myself.

I was woken up by Jacob who was 2 but still loved to scream in the mornings just as much as he loved to when he was a day old! Charlie was sick and threw up on my new shoes and for a 16 year old your shoes show who you are. Karen and John of course were over reacting about everything and were late driving me to school yet again, "can I please get a car!? I passed my exam and I'm always super late!" I begged, "You can buy a car with your own money!" John shouted not realizing that he'd buy me a pink mini the following year out of guilt.

I began dragging people to the car, Rebecca got in and refused to stay put like the bratty person she is, I forced Charlie to get dressed and convinced him he was fine but Karen forced him into bed whereas for Jacob it was impossible to get him to shut up! "I will give you candy if you stop crying" I lied but who was I kidding he was a dumbass child who could barely walk! Finally Rebecca got him to be quiet, "get in the car!" I shouted pointing to the family wagon and then she began crying which set Jacob off again so I did what I had to do, I dragged Rebecca into the car and threatened her to the point where she was pale and was forced out of terror to sit still, I grabbed Jacob looked him in the eye for about a minute which made him cry out of scaredness, I strapped him in and almost used an actual lock so he wouldn't get out. Karen obviously was still eating her breakfast as slow as possible while I ran up to my room to grab my school bag Rebecca escaped thinking this was a joke.

When I got out to the car I was ready to kill a bitch, "Rebecca I swear to god! get back into the car!" I screamed running over to her, "I'm sitting in the front" she stuck her tongue out and opened the door of the car and slammed it shut but I opened it again and lay my hand against the edge of the car where the door would later shatter my fingers. "Rebecca I'm going to be super late for school and I don't want that so get off your thick ass and go sit next to Jacob" I shouted which actually made him shut his mouth.

"No" she laughed sarcastically, Karen emerged from the house at long last and beckoned for me to get in, "mom tell her to get in the back with Jakob" I cringed remembering the times where I called her that. "You'll be fine, we're late so just get into the back" she called, Karen forgot something in the house and rushed back inside to get it, "You're dead Rebecca Anderson" I whispered, her face scowled in my direction, "Stop being so mean!" She shouted, glancing at my fingers, she smiled, knowing what was about to happen and before I had the chance to even breath she slammed the heavy door on my fingers.

I've never released such a loud shriek as I did that day, feeling each of my fingers crumple under the weight, tears streamed down my face as I tried to open the door but it went to auto lock and I could barely even reach with my left hand, Rebecca saw what she did and tried to open it as well but she and Jacob were locked in, it was the first time I actually heard him laugh which still creeps me out! I remember Karen rushing towards me in panic and opening the door with her keys, my fingers were not capable of moving and quickly turned blue, black and purple, my finger nails looked horrific and later would have to be taken off.

She called John and made him come home immediately to bring Rebecca to school and Jacob to nursery while Karen brought me to the hospital, my phone blew up with messages asking me if I was coming in but there was to much blood in my limp swollen hand to reach into my pocket, I remember waiting hours upon hours for my name to be called for my x-Ray, The doctor said even by the look of my trembling fingers he guaranteed they were broken and not to his surprise I had broken the phalanges on my four fingers the only none broken part was my thumb. He was surprised that a car door could do this much damage until I explained that the car was ancient and the weighed tones, I was surprised I didn't break more. I wore a pink cast that went all the way from the top of my middle finger to my forearm, I'm pretty sure I had it on for about month and a half and then some sort contraption on each of my fingers that wouldn't let me bend them but I could now let them breath and swell down, then I was forced to wear this glove that still separated my fingers but let my write for the first time in like two and a half months. I kind of lost movement for a while and lost a lot of muscle so at first I could hardly hold a pen but less then a month later my fingers were fully capable of bending and writing without being stiff and hurting.

Rebecca basically became my servant for about a year and at long last the attention was on me, should have broken more bones so Karen and John would actually know my name.

I opened my eyes to reveal the hotel room, was I asleep? I glanced at the clock on the wall which read 4:45 well I guess it's some awake time for me. I had texts from Veronica of her apologizing and giving me dates where she'd be free which was weeks away so I made it straight with her.

'Look Veronica we have a chance to meet now you can take it up or wait until we're both finished college, have jobs, married and have kids to meet so it's your choice I can't wait around, I need to go back to California for school' I replied angrily, my hip burned with pain, I tried thinking of more injuries to distract myself but there wasn't very much, let me think...

I fractured my knee cap when I was 3 cause I fell down the stairs and it still cracks but I can't remember that at all, like I said I don't have memories worth remembering until this year. All I remember is crying but feeling as if my leg was on fire, I know Karen and John seemed to over react just a little but when they had their own kids they learned to calm down. Anything else?... I sprained my ankles and wrists a few times when Karen forced me to take gymnastics but that's basically it so I pulled out my diary and began to write.

Hello again!

So things aren't going as planned yet again, Veronica doesn't wanna see me but I promised Jake we'd make it back for the end of senior year so she has to hurry up and make up jet mind!

I almost got killed today and this time I wasn't planning it, the driver asked a question which left me questionable, he asked if I was suicidal and obviously I'm not but I have tried, the lake and the airport but I wouldn't count those as... am I in denial?

No

It's a horrible thing and I would want to spread awareness not do it.

In other news I have a plan, as soon as I return to LA I'm finishing school and moving straight out to an apartment or something but I'm not staying anywhere near GreenLake or the high school, I'm gonna continue using social media as a form of my career cause so far I've made a lot of money on 1 video cause I gained like 60,000 subscribers off of it. I don't care if Jake comes with me or not, I want him to do the best he can because I feel horrible, pulling him out and making him stay even though I've offered to fly him home so many times!

(Another Filler😂❤️ I've got a lot of this story all ready written I just need reminders to upload😬 thanks for reading<3 hope you enjoyed!)