I dragged myself off of the plane and made a run for it, jake sprinted after me but by now I had made it outside, he must have been caught in the baggage area. I trudged across the road, forcing myself to not stop in the middle.

I kept running, further and further until he caught up, all it took was a graze of his finger off of my shoulder for me to turn around.

There we stood, my bloodshot stinging eyes drowned into his deep hazelnut eyes, we stood about a meter apart, my neck bending to reach his eye contact. He dropped my purse and his bag down by his feet as more tears escaped my eyes, "You're not useless" he whispered over a loud crowd of people but even if we were centimeters apart I wouldn't understand him.

I broke our gaze and stared at the broken dirty concrete under my feet, "but how come I feel it" I sobbed collapsing into his arms, giving up.

My mind gave up, there and then. I didn't know what to think, what to say or what to do, I was just an object in this world. Jake began asking questions to distract me from whatever was happening but I was mentally gone, in a new place, where no one knows me, it's a necessary thing.

I lay down on damp dew grass watching the sun set, I was relaxed, I felt nothing, there was nothing to feel.

Stars filled the dark sky, illuminating the world, I gazed at each individual star in which resembles a useless emotion and memory but there was a reason I wasn't a star myself, my body and my soul, I wasn't giving up just yet, I've lived 18 pathetic years and I wasn't gonna let that control my life.

I wasn't ready to go back yet, I needed time to let everything in and out. I allowed my mind to roam free which was a lot more difficult than I imagined, I sat in a familiar room, Chloe's Den, a place I would escape to stay the night sometimes when I had had enough of Karen. Chloe walked through the door with of cup of tea and sat on the couch without noticing me until I finally released a fake cough to get her attention but she didn't even glance away from her tea, I was shy in front of her for the first time in years. I blinked and suddenly I was somewhere else, I was in front of Karen, John and a baby, my throat went dry, I felt like crying cause all the attention was on me. I stood staring at them while the silently stared at me, "so, carry on" Karen laughed, I was back in my 8 year old body, I was frozen in spot.

"You know me?" My young squeaky voice asked, I waited for a reply but they continued laughing, looking through me, I turned 90 degrees to find out what they were looking at, I blinked and there I was again, in the living room but there were some changes, New floorboards, a new rug and beige ugly walls. I turned around to see a two year old child and another baby sitting alongside Karen and John, it was Rebecca! I could tell, she's always had a platinum streak in her dirty blonde hair and I could tell it was Charlie cause I swear he was an obese baby. Once again they were cheering and laughing but not to me, to someone else that wasn't me but for some reason I couldn't see who it was.

I took the opportunity to take a look around the old house, the house in which my innocence still lingered, I walked around the living room picking up photos that anyone would assume that I was a friend or a distant cousin cause I looked that much different than Charlie and Rebecca.

I made my way up to my old bedroom that was in the attic, it was a lift kind of thing, my bed was above the ground and there as stairs that led you up, I looked around my 10 year old self's favorite room ever in awe, when there was not a stress in the world. I smiled at the cute polaroids of Chloe and I, I used to beg to have Charlie stay in my room but apparently it was too dangerous in case there was a fire.... what if there was a fire any other night when it was just me? That's how different the relationship between my 'patents' and I was, but when we moved a few blocks down I was devastated.

It had gotten to the point where I was bored, I began blinking just to leave this shit hole and finally I was out. I was now in the hallway of Jacobs school, I had my arms crossed, I was on my usual route home from school, picking the kids up from after school cause for some reason Karen couldn't get off of her ass for more than two seconds to pick up her own children and prevent my car to be sticky!?

I felt the glare of some snobby moms face on me as I scrolled through twitter, "Yes?" I asked sarcastically, "aren't you a little young to be a mother?" She remarked causing me to smile and put my phone away, "why does it concern you?" I asked, starting a lie cause I was super bored. "Do you even know who the father is?" She smirked causing other snobby moms to giggle quietly, "Yes, and that may be the same father as his other siblings have" I said trying not to laugh.

"Slut" someone coughed making everyone go silent, "me?" I asked innocently as the classroom doors opened and parents came and individually pick up their children, luckily Jacob was first so I had all of the parents staring noisily, "hey Jacob" I smiled, kneeling down to give him a hug, "Vanessa!" He shouted wrapping his sticky hands around my neck. I heard some whispering, 'she won't even let him call her mommy'

'Poor child'

I smirked, ready to break the lie, "Oh I get it" I fake laughed, "you think I'm his mom!" I burst out giggling, I felt them staring with embarrassment. I put my hands over his ears, pretending he shouldn't know, "I'm not even related to him, his parents adopted me about 17 years ago" I whispered 'sadly', I took his hand and walked down the endless corridor.

Jacob eventually vanished and I was left back in the few ridden field staring at the bright shining stars, I assumed this would be where I would physically return to my body but I was wrong. I didn't even need to blink, I watched as the dark sky formed into a deep lake, I focused on the stillwater waiting for the horrible memory to occur, I dug my nails deep into my palm until I felt blood withdraw from my pierced skin. I attempted to shut my eyes but all I was capable of was blinking and then finally I watched myself being poured over with water by Jake, this was the point where he would dare me back, I waited impatiently as I watched my expression change almost immediately after he spoke the words.

Ankle

Knees

Waist

Stomach

Chest

Neck

I watched as my head sunk into the black water, Jake smiled thinking that I would I emerge almost immediately but I didn't, his face turned pale white, he shouted something but I couldn't hear him, he checked his watch and jumping into the water after almost stripping himself. I tried screaming for him to stop and let me drown but my mouth was glued shut. I watched as he pulled my body out of the water, I sobbed and cried and hit Jakes chest but could tell I was weak, my body suddenly went limp, he kept shaking me but I wasn't moving. "Vanessa!" He shouted, he lifted me to shore and threw his jacket on me as well as pushing me into some pants which would have been hard seeming as he was looking away. He began giving me CPR, but I wasn't moving, this was the point where I was supposed to get up and cry, but I wasn't. "I've changed my mind! I don't want to die!" I shouted but no one was listening, jake shakily grabbed his phone and dialed 911, he kept pushing on my chest but nothing was working, I ran over to him and tried telling him that I was alive, "Jake! Please! Keep going! I'm going to live!" I shouted but it was as if I wasn't even letting out a whisper. An ambulance appeared in minutes, paramedics pushing harder into my chest and giving me mouth to mouth, I watched as my body turned pale and gave up. Jake tried to tell them to push again or use a debulater but that wouldn't work, it's water not a flatline, water must have been lodged not only in my throat but in my lungs.

"Time of death, 8:23 the of 2017" the paramedic said as another pulled a bag from the van, "No! Keep trying! Please!" Jake cried trying to push through the doctors, "sir, she has no heart rate, there's no point, I'm afraid she's gone, do you have an immediate family member number or will you be fine?" The lady asked pulling out a phone, "I don't have her parents number" jake sighed as tears slipped from his eyes.

"We'll have forensics on the case shortly, sir do you want to sit down I think your in shock" a doctor spoke up, trying one more time to wake me up but it was no use. One by one police cars began showing up, asked by Jake questions and demanding details,

"I dared her to skinny dip into the lake and come out but she didn't seem to want to return, I called her back but she stayed under water... I ran in and eventually found her, she was alive at that point, she was crying and hitting me... she wanted to die" he gulped "I pulled her out and threw some clothes on her and immediately began CPR, she must have inhaled too much water or she dry drowned or something" Jake managed to sob, continuously pulling back his hair with his hands.

Someone must have got hold of Karen and Johns number because next thing I knew Karen who was barely able to breath sprinted over to my limp body and demanded answers through buckets of tears. She could barely stand and John being John stood beside the ambulance with a blank face and asked questions about the van, typical! I'm dead and he cares more about a vehicle!

I stood still during all of this, people passing through me as if I was really dead. My body finally was shoved into a bag and placed in some special car, officers, paramedics and Karen but not John stood in a circle and said some prayer, "No! Jake! Jake please!" I cried but he couldn't hear me, an officer demanded that he get in the car but Jake kept trying to run over to the at that was driving away with my body. "I don't wanna die!" I cried.

"I don't want to die!" I shouted at the top of my lungs and just like that reality snapped right back, there I was sitting limp in the backseat of a taxi next to Jake. "You're not dead" Jake whispered tightening his grip on my hand. I was so confused, why were we in a taxi? We were outside the airport seconds ago but it felt like hours.

"You didn't exactly blackout" jake answered my unasked question, "You just went blank, you kept mumbling that you didn't want to die and I should keep trying but Vanessa I need you to understand that I'm trying my best... I don't know what else you need from me" he stated.

"I love you Jake, you're everything I need and I appreciate you more than anybody in the whole world" I whispered as tears dropped down my rosy dimpled cheeks.

(No clue what this chapters about, probably wrote it months ago and just copied and pasted it word documents to wattpad, so now to read through it and come up with a pointless titleXD thanks for reading<3)