It was my turn to drive to school that morning, thankfully. Because if my sister had been driving, I might have been compelled to throw myself out the window because I was already so nervous. More nervous than I'd ever been in my entire life, because ...

I was going to tell him.

Things had gone too far and they were totally out of control. I needed to put an end to this mad charade, and soon. I hadn't had a second of sleep the night before. I'd gone over the situation in my mind until my brain hurt. Somewhere between 3am and 5am, I'd decided that I had to tell him. I no longer had a choice. But how the hell was I going to say it?

"Hey Connor, guess what? I kissed you. It was a joke. Haha. Surprise!"

This was going to be the hardest thing I'd ever done. What if it ruined our friendship? What if it made everything feel strange and awkward between us? But that was a risk I had to take, though; it was ruining our friendship already. I felt myself pulling away each day under the stress and pressure of the lie I was telling. Some days it had been hard to look him in the eyes. Kissing him and keeping it a secret, was already ruining our friendship, so the way I saw it, I had nothing to loose.

We arrived at school and I took up my position outside the gate to wait for Connor. I knew he wasn't there yet, because if he had been, he'd be standing there waiting for me. I was relieved. It gave me a few more moments to rehearse the lines in my head again.

I had to keep reminding myself to breath. My body was hot and cold and tingling all over, and I worried that the anticipation was going to give me a permanent stomach cramp. But when the final bell rang and Connor still wasn't there, I forgot my nerves and started to wonder if something was wrong.

I sent him a few texts, but he didn't respond, so I tried calling him—no answer. This was weird now. He always picked up his phone, no matter what he was doing, and he always texted me back.

Maybe he was jogging to school that morning and was just running a bit late, that was it. His phone was probably in his bag and he couldn't hear it. But after two class periods and still no Connor, I really started to worry.

"Brett." I pulled him aside in the corridor. "Have you seen or heard from Connor today?"

"Nope."

"I think something's up, I can't get hold of him."

"Has the telepathic link been broken?"

"The what?"

"Between you and Connor? You always seem to know what the other one is thinking or doing. Connor says so anyway."

I nodded. I knew what he meant. Sometimes it did feel like we were telepathic. "The link has been severed," I said.

"Well," Brett paused and looked like he was thinking about something. "That is a grave situation, indeed."

He was right. Something was wrong.

"Okay, I'm leaving. Cover for me. Say I'm sick or something."

Brett smiled. "And what fictitious illness shall I conjure up for you?"

"Surprise me."

I left Brett with a big smile across his face and I sensed he was going to make some kind of drama of this. He was really into movies and ran the film club at school and that gave him endless amounts of inspiration. Tomorrow at school people would probably be asking me about my dreaded disease, the one so serious that it was named after me, Acute Sadie Syrcomalitis Syndrome . I didn't really care though. I exited the gate and speed walked to Connor's house. As I went I kept phoning and messaging him, and, with every non-answer, I grew more and more worried. This wasn't like him.

I finally arrived at his house after what felt like hours, and Mrs. Matthews answered the door. Wasn't she meant to be at work?

"Mrs. Matthews, is Connor here?" I launched straight into it, not bothering with a polite 'hello'.

Her face scrunched up in confusion. "No. He should be at school, he left this morning, said he would jog there."

"Well he's not there, and he's not answering his phone."

Panic flashed across her face. "Lionel," she called back into the house, "Connor isn't at school."

His dad rushed to the door. "Hi, Sadie. Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Mr. and Mrs. Matthews exchanged concerned looks.

"What's going on?" I asked them, getting the distinct feeling they knew something about Connor that I didn't.

"We told him we are getting divorced this morning."

"What?" I screeched. I couldn't help it. These two had the perfect marriage. His mom was even a marriage counsellor. I always thought my parents were more likely to get divorced, not Mr and Mrs Matthews.

Mr. Matthews nodded. "He was pretty upset. He said he needed to clear his head."

That's all I needed to hear.

"Don't worry. I know exactly where he is."

**

When I go there, Connor was sitting in the tree. I stood and watched him for a few seconds before calling out to him. He was fiddling with a branch, pulling the leaves off and chucking them on the ground. He looked miserable and my heart broke for him.

"Hey," I called out.

Connor looked up. His face was pale and it had a shell-shocked quality about it. I couldn't blame him. Imagine having your parents drop that kind of bomb on you?

"I was worried about you. I tried to call."

Connor dug in his school bag and pulled out his phone. "Sorry. It's on silent for some reason." He managed a small smile. It looked like it took all his effort. "Damn. Ten missed calls and fourteen messages? Are you stalking me?"

"You wish I was stalking you," I said, as I climbed into the tree next to him.

He managed another pained smile.

"So...your parents told me," I said softly. "I'm sorry."

Connor hung his head and bit his bottom lip. If he started crying, I was going to lose it.

"I'm seventeen years old for fuck's sake. I'm not a kid, I don't know why this is making me feel so, so..." He tapered off, finally stopped fiddling with the branch and looked up at me with shinny eyes. "Everything's going to change now...I don't want it to." He bit his lip so hard that it left a little indentation. "I feel like they've been lying to me. Keeping a secret from me for ages. Surly, this doesn't just happen overnight?"

I moved closer to Connor and without thinking, draped my arm around him. I didn't know what to say to be honest. I'd never gone through anything like that before. Then, just as naturally, Connor tilted his head towards me until it was resting on my shoulder.

My heart quickened and I felt momentarily selfish for getting so much satisfaction from this moment. It was so intimate and I wanted it to last forever. Then it became even more intimate.

He reached down and took my hand. I swallowed so hard I was sure he could hear it. He held my hand gently and then intertwined his fingers into mine like he was examining them.

"I've never noticed how long your fingers are," he said with a smile in his voice.

"What, are you saying I have some freakishly long fingers now?"

"No. They're cute. Good for climbing trees," he kidded before he let my hand go, lifted his head and turned to face me. Our eyes met and it felt like.. Oh God... it felt like a meteorite slammed into my stomach.

"Are you ditching school for me?" He reached up and pushed a stray hair out of my face. My tongue was officially tied. Connor was looking at me like he'd never looked at me before. His face was so close, and all I needed to do right now was to lean in a little and our lips would be touching...again.

And then, as if he was reading my mind, he did something he'd never ever done before. He leaned in and kissed...my cheek.

"Thanks. You're such a good friend, Sadie." He smiled. My heart melted. "You're always there for me. And you're honest with me. You'd never lie to me, like them."

Under any other circumstances, a kiss to the cheek from Connor would have had me spinning, but that "friend" word stabbed me in the heart. And, on top of that, he was so wrong about me. I wasn't honest. And I was about to be even less honest, because there was no way I could tell him the truth now.