Today was James' funeral but Lincoln didn't want me there. He told me that it was my fault he was dead over and over, causing it to eventually sink in. James had ran into the building because of me. He was apparently going in to help Lincoln get Brent out, but me being the most useless person thought they would need my help. All I do is create problems, I never help anyone, I never make anything easy for anyone. This week dark thoughts have been slipping into my mind, like maybe I should kill myself or run into the woods and let the rogues get me.

I was in James' cottage I needed to be away from everyone not that they wanted to see me anyway.

I was curled up on the couch with tears running down my cheeks. I hate myself for what I've done. I got up off of the couch and walked outside so I could kind of see the funeral. I sat down on the grass and leaned back against the stone masonry. I could see them placing the coffin into a deep hole in the ground. I could kind of see Lincoln standing at the front along with other pack members that went. I was rapidly wiping at the tears that refused to stop falling.

I had enough, I stood up and walked back into the house. I went to my same spot on the couch and cried myself to sleep.

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1 week later

I still haven't spoken to anyone. I was on my old bed instead of the couch. I stood up and stretched my limbs as I walked into James' old room. I think I ran out of tears to cry. I just had the never ending ache in my heart from losing him.

I was brought out of my thoughts when a knock sounded at the door. Who would have came to see me? I haven't heard from Rosa, or Lincoln or anyone else for that matter. I hesitantly walked towards the door cracking it open. There stood Erin looking down at me with a sad look on her face.

"Hey, can I come in?" She asked me. I nodded and opened the door stepping to the side.

"I brought you some cookies." She spoke raising the container. "I didn't make them though, I can't cook to save my life."

I wanted to laugh I really did but all my emotions felt like they were locked and hidden away. That all I was capable of feeling was sadness.

"You didn't have to come here." I told her, my voice raspy from all the crying and lack of use.

"Yes I did. I needed to thank you for saving my life, I really owe you and besides I want to be friends." She told me catching me off guard.

"Did Jake put you up to this? Because I'm fine here I really don't want to waste your time." I told her.

"Jake can't tell me what to do; he may be the Gamma but I'm my own person." She said proudly. "Here have a cookie, some sugar can do you some good right now." She spoke popping the lid off of the container. She pulled out two, one for the both of us. She handed it over and I immediately took a bite of the heavenly thing in my hand. The cookie was delicious, she quickly grabbed another one and handed it to me.

Once I finished that one I felt an unfamiliar feeling of nausea wash through my body. My face immediately fell as I placed a hand over my mouth.

"Wha-?" I took off towards the bathroom and vomited up all of the contents from my stomach into the toilet. I groaned as I felt another wave of nausea flow through my body, I once again vomited up what was left.

"Okay, I'm getting Lana." Erin panicked.

"No, no, no I'm fine." I groaned. I scooted away from the toilet and leaned my head against the wall.

That's when the thought crossed my mind, could I be pregnant?

"Erin? Lincoln and I you know..." I spoke. But how would a baby have survived everything I just went through. I haven't even been eating that much. Oh my goddess? What if I've been killing them because of how stupid I am?

"Come on lets get you to Lana and she can give us a pregnancy test." I shook my head violently. I didn't want to leave. I couldn't leave. If Lincoln saw me I would fully break down.

"Okay, you know what? You stay here and I will get you one really quick." She spoke and ran out the door. I cried my eyes out the second I heard the front door click shut. Lincoln hates me, there is no way he would be willing to raise a child with me now, after everything I've done.

He was going to make me raise this baby alone, I could see it already.

A few minutes passed until Erin came running back in with four pregnancy tests in her hand. I took them all and read over the instructions. I walked into the bathroom and peed on them, now I just had to wait.

I walked out of the bathroom and felt myself break down again. Erin walked up to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's going to be okay." She told me running her hands up and down my back reassuringly.

After a few minutes she walked into the bathroom with me to check the tests. They were all positive. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant.

"What am I going to do?" I asked hugging myself.

"You are going to raise an amazing kid with your mate." She told me.

"He hates me now Erin." I cried.

"He doesn't hate you, Brielle." She frowned.

"He's just grieving you both lost someone incredibly special to you." She told me.

"He wasn't the reason that James died though, I was. If I hadn't been so stupid he would still be here. Lincoln would still love me. I wouldn't feel like this." I cried.

"Why don't you go get some sleep and I'll come back in a few hours okay?" She asked me. I hesitantly nodded. She walked herself out and I laid down in my bed thinking one last thought before falling into a restless sleep, he's not going to want to raise this baby with me.

A/N

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