The snow cleared about a month later, and every day that Sonny was gone brought more and more memories to Jeweldean's mind. Jeweldean lay awake in bed that night fingering her wedding band. She thought about her wedding, and the proposal, and their honeymoon, and when she had Cody, and Suzanne, and now her new baby, and all of the other very important things that have happened in her life with Sonny.

Clint was packing to leave now that the snow had cleared and the grounds had dried from the snow melting. Jeweldean and Clint had only said a few passing words to each other since that night that happened over a month ago when he kissed her.

On a day the snow partially cleared, Jeweldean rode into town, and straight to the sheriffs office. She told him that Sonny disappeared a little over a month ago, and she demanded a search party.

A morning about a week later, the sheriff, several townspeople, some of Jeweldean's friends and neighbors all came to help find Sonny. Jeweldean and two of the ranch hands rode out and Clint gave directions to everyone as to where he found the body of the dead whiskey-pounder, and where he found the piece of cloth off of Sonny's shirt.

Jeweldean felt hopeful, with over twenty people searching she hoped that they would find any sign of her husband. But after seven hours of looking, and no tracks, no signs, and no dead bodies, the search party gave up hope, but Jeweldean didn't.

For about a week after the failed search, Jeweldean still believed Sonny was out there somewhere, alive, but laying in bed almost two months after his disappearance, Jeweldean was beginning to lose hope.

Jeweldean still hadn't named her new baby, because she was hoping that when the search party went out that they would find Sonny, and then her and Sonny would decide on a name. She had a few names in mind, but she didn't want to name her baby until Sonny was there. He had already missed his new daughter being born, and Jeweldean didn't want him to miss naming her.

Jeweldean said her nightly prayers, then she fell asleep. The next morning, while Jeweldean was preparing lunch, Cooper came running into the house, and said, "Jeweldean. Someone's here. He thinks he found Sonny."

Jeweldean walked away from the stove, and ran outside. She saw a middle-aged man, who she knew was a newcomer to Callieburg.

"Ma'am." The man tipped his hat to Jeweldean when she came out. "Name's Bill, I'm a newcomer to this here town. 'Fraid I found your husband, ma'am."

"That's great. Well, where at? Is he okay?" Jeweldean asked, frantic.

"He was lyin' face down in the mud, with a bullet through his head and chest, it looked to me like he had been lyin' there for a while. Cause you know, his body was...startin' to smell, and it also looked like he had been robbed. He was stripped down to his long Johns, and had nothin' on him. I'm really sorry, ma'am."

Jeweldean looked at this man, and she refused to believe what he was saying.

"You- you said that your new to this town, so how do you know it was Sonny?" Cooper took the words straight out of Jeweldean's mouth.

"I've seen him and her," he said pointing to Jeweldean, "around town a few times."

"Are you sure it was him?" Jeweldean asked, her voice husky.

"Tall man, skinny, muscular, brown hair, got a scar right here?" The man asked pointing to his left forearm.

Jeweldean nodded as tears formed in her eyes. "Yes." She managed to say.

"Then it's him. I'm real sorry ma'am."

Jeweldean felt her legs not be able to hold her weight any longer, and she fell to the ground. The second she fell to the ground, the tears began to fall. She felt Cooper's strong and reassuring arms come around her as he lifted her to her feet, but she couldn't find balance, and she began to fall again, but Cooper caught her once more.

"Let's go inside, Jeweldean." Cooper said to her.

Cooper began to slowly walk, his arm still around Jeweldean. Jeweldean pushed Cooper away and, finding balance, she ran inside. She ran straight upstairs and into her room. Once Jeweldean was inside her room, she closed the door, and hugged her knees as she sat on her bed, sobbing.

She cried for over thirty minutes straight, when Cooper softly knocked on the door and asked, "Jeweldean, may I please come in?"

"No! Go away!" She screamed at Cooper. She heard the heel of Cooper's boots hit the hardwood floors as he walked away and went downstairs.

Scenes from all of Jeweldean's nightmares that she had had since Sonny disappeared now raced through her mind. They were all coming true, one by one. All of the great memories, and expectations in her life had all just been crushed. Sonny was her life, and now that he was gone, who did she have to rely on? She still had God, but did she know that?

After an hour, she this time heard Carver knocking on the door.

"Jeweldean, it's Carver. May I please come in?"

"No! Go away, Carver. Leave me alone!"

"Cody needs you." Carver said. Jeweldean didn't believe him. She jumped out of bed, and grabbed a chair. She put it under the doorknob so no one could get in. She pounded on the door when Carver tried to open it.

"What part of 'leave me alone' and 'go away' do y'all not understand?! Leave. Me. Alone. Go away, and don't talk to me!" Jeweldean screamed at Carver. She kicked the door.

"Jeweldean, please." Carver pleaded. He tried opening the door.

When it wouldn't budge, Jeweldean threw the first thing she saw at the door, then threw herself back onto her bed, still crying.

The moonlight shone through the window above Jeweldean's bed and onto the door. Jeweldean, still awake and crying, stared at the door, hoping at any second Sonny would come knocking on the door, but he never did. Then something shiny caught her eye. It was whatever she threw at the door earlier. She slowly made her way out of bed, and over to the door, and picked up what she threw. It was a picture of her and Sonny when they first got married. The glass on it was now shattered and the wooden frame was broken in one corner. Jeweldean fell to her knees holding the picture against her chest and sobbed, "God, why? Why would you take him away from me? Why?"

Jeweldean went back to her bed, still holding the picture against her chest, and she laid back down, but sleep did not find her.

When the morning light shone through the windows, and the rooster crowed, Jeweldean was still awake. She hadn't slept a wink since last night. Jeweldean knew that she had to get up and go make breakfast, but she couldn't force herself to get out of bed.

But finally she heard a tiny knock on her door. Before Jeweldean could scream at the person to go away, she heard Cody's innocent voice ask, "Mama? Are you gonna come make us all breakfast? Cooper burnt the eggs, and Suzanne is cryin' and won't hush."

If she was in a better mood, Jeweldean would've smiled, but right now she just wanted to lay in bed and cry. Sonny was a decent cook, he never burnt the eggs, after Jeweldean taught him how not to, that is. Sonny also had a way to make crying babies hush up when they were crying. He would usually take them on a ride on the back of Bronco, weather permitting of course, or he would bounce them on his knee until they laughed.

The thought made Jeweldean cry even harder. A few minutes later she heard Cody's voice again, "Mama? Are you comin' out? My stomach just made a strange noise. It sounded like a lion just roared inside my belly."

This time Jeweldean couldn't help but to smile. Jeweldean got out of bed, and said to Cody, "I'll be down in a minute, hon. Just let me change." Jeweldean didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to stay right where she was at, which was in her bed. She quickly got dressed into an old calico dress, and she slipped on her cowboy boots under her dress. Looking in the mirror, she saw her hair was in a tangled mess, and her eyes were red and puffy. She looked terrible, but she felt even worse. Jeweldean did nothing to improve her appearance. She took a deep breath, and walked to the door.

Removing the chair from underneath the doorknob, Jeweldean slowly opened the door and saw Cody still standing there.

"Hey buddy. You wanna help me make some breakfast?" Jeweldean asked Cody; her voice was hoarse. She kept her head down so Cody couldn't see she had been crying.

"Sure." Cody replied and made his way downstairs. "I didn't want to bother you because Carver said that you should be left alone in your room, so I'm sorry for making you come out."

"That's okay, Cody. I needed to come out anyways." Jeweldean said. She knew it was probably true, but she didn't want to admit it to herself.

The two went to work in the kitchen, preparing a late-almost-lunch breakfast. Jeweldean didn't feel like cooking nor eating, but her children needed to eat. Everything Jeweldean looked at somehow brought a memory of Sonny. Tears rose up in Jeweldean's eyes, but she promised herself that she had cried enough these past two days to make up for the several previous times she had held back her tears and not cried.

An hour later, Jeweldean laid steaming bowls of eggs, hash browns, and biscuits on the table. She made herself a plate, but she could not force herself to eat it. Looking around the table Jeweldean noticed that Austin was not at the table.

"Um, where's Austin?" Jeweldean asked.

"He ran into town ma'am. He should be back in a few minutes." Cooper replied.

"Pass the eggs, please." Porter said to Jeweldean. Jeweldean grabbed the bowl and began handing it to Porter, but the bowl slipped from her hands and spilled all over her dress, the table, and onto other people's plates. She threw the remnants of the eggs, and the plate down onto the table, and began picking up the pieces of eggs that fell into her lap. Then, Jeweldean bent down under the table to pick up some that fell on the floor; when she lifted up her head, she banged it on the edge of the table.

At that moment, Austin walked into the house, and after stopping in the doorway to take the disastrous scene in, he handed Jeweldean a letter from the post office. It was addressed to Sonny.

Jeweldean stared into the wondering faces of the ranch hands. How could they all not appear sad that Sonny was found, dead! This all became to much for her: Sonny was dead, she just ruined their meal, her head was throbbing in pain from hitting it on the table, Austin just gave her a letter that was supposed to be for Sonny. She couldn't handle it anymore. Tears swelled up inside, and her boiling anger finally spilled over.

"What is the matter with y'all?! Sonny, my husband just died, and all y'all sit here like it's nothin'! You didn't offer to help cook the meal. You dragged me out of my room to come down here and be ignored. Then when I need help, y'all just sit there and look at me like I'm some freak. I won't take it no more! From now on, y'all try cookin' all the meals, doin' all the laundry, feed the kids, do all the chores, everything that I do that I never, ever get praise for. Never once have I heard a 'thank you so much for all that you do, Jeweldean.' No, not even when I was pregnant. Y'all are lazy and ungrateful."

Jeweldean stopped to take a breath, and when she looked up she saw the faces of the clearly surprised ranch hands. The second one word came out of her mouth, Jeweldean found she couldn't stop them. Now she wished she could take them back. Jeweldean couldn't remember the last time, if ever, that she got this riled up.

As Jeweldean looked into the men sitting before her, she realized that they would never, ever understand what she was feeling right now, and that was enough to make her run straight up the stairs and into her room, where she vowed to never come out again until Sonny came home. If Sonny never came home, then so be it, she'd stay in her room forever then.