Four years later...if you don't remember the story well neither do I but hey guess what that means! We get to re-read it all over again x

Really sorry with how long it takes me to update, life is just so unfairly boringly busy. So a recap. 

Hill just came back from the St B pack where Alpha Zloy is their Alpha (new one) and appointed Akil as their new Beta after a few pack challenged. As their old Beta Nick had no kids to pass on the tradition to. Hill comes back early and there is this tense awkward vibe between her and Hercules for the last few chaps, and at chap 4 she asks him to bite her which he refuses. Chap 5 Hill attends a pack meeting and feels too bad to stay there given that most of the wolves in this pack would hate her for killing their mate or making them a rogue (She thinks anyway).

* * * 

Another morning, another empty bed. Except this time it was only eight in the morning and I hadn't slept in. So I wasn't sure why Hercules was already up, it was the weekend which used to be our sleep in day so we could spend some time together.

This only confirmed that something was off, I could just tell. And it didn't bother me, because I never was that affectionate person who needed their hand held or cuddled when we went to bed, but for some reason these days I want some form of assuring that Hercules was okay.

Was it the rumours that were bothering him, or perhaps me still continuing to do my job and not being a proper Luna. Well, I couldn't give him what I wanted anyway, when my own wolf wasn't coming to the table. 

I took my time getting up and ready before I made my way downstairs, the house was eerily quiet and I wondered where everyone was. Gideon and Cube were probably in their own place taking some quiet resting time, but what about Marcus and Noel.

Where was Noel?

I walked through the house finding one so I decided to go for a walk and maybe I'll come across someone. The weekend meant most of the area felt deserted, everyone tended to do their own thing, a few of the wolves even braved up to go to the nearest town or sight seeing. A few of the newer pack members weren't allowed to go out yet, not until they were fully rogue-ified, as Marcus used to call them. Until all traits of them wanting to be a blood monster killing everyone, dispersed. 

It was also a sunnier day than normal, whilst it was still cold I could make out the mountains in the distance as the clouds had moved past.  You could also see some of the peaks have snow, still. 

I could hear chatter behind the pack house so I made my way down the wooden path, surrounded by the floors that we put in for me till I saw Noel and Hercules together. They looked like they were playing with bubbles.

I paused for moment, neither of them had noticed me and I just wanted them interact. Noel was laughing trying to get the bubbles and Hercules was kneeling on the slightly damp grass blowing them. 

Something about it made my stomach churn. I wasn't used to peaceful or good moments, so watching this in front of me made something inside me stir, and it wasn't my wolf. It made me think that if I got too happy about what I saw in front of me, it would be snatched away in an instant.

They do say Karma finds you eventually.

"You could have woken me up," I spoke as I walked towards them. Noel squealed seeing me and came running up telling  me all the bubbles he had caught, but I was focused on Hercules. He had taken way too long to put the bubble wand back in the case and look up at me. 

"You were sleeping, and you didn't seem to have slept well."

Well, it was a long time till I consistently slept well. Sleeping in the same bed as Hercules generally helped, but last night I kept waking up from bad dreams. Dreams that would haunt me from my past. 

"Are you hungry? Should I make you some breakfast? Noel and I ate."

"Crunchy pops!"

"I'm okay," I said holding onto Noel's hand to stop him from running off. Eventually I gave up, he was pretty strong for a child and he went running ahead a few metres as Hercules stood up, still holding onto the bright orange bubble wand.

"Your parents called."

"Oh," Well that was news, how come they didn't call me. I thought they were still on their little trip. After dad nearly passed away...from the incident, mum and dad were making the most of what was left of their lives.

Especially after Noel showed more interest in staying with us. 

"They want us to come over this weekend, but I said I'll check with you first."

"Aren't you busy?" I asked. It was a long drive and it just seemed like such effort for such a short visit. They should come over here,  but they were still a little uncomfortable with the fact that Hercules' pack was predominantly refined wolves. They didn't get the brand name that they were a killer pack for no reason. 

Most of them didn't have families and were ready to risk their lives for an Alpha that changed them. 

Hercules didn't respond but started walking slowly to catch up to Noel who was ripping up my favourite flowers as he went, throwing them onto the ground. 

The feeling was back, eating me up from the inside. It was a strange feeling of emptiness, like it was a feeling of being apathetic but with a slight curiosity. I looked down at Hercules hand that was gripping the bubble wand, he made no move to hold my hand. 

And I was too embarrassed to hold his.

I should - it was such a simple gesture, to reach it and hold his warm palm in mine, but I didn't because I wasn't the one that normally showed affection.  It felt odd, embarrassing even to do it. 

My stomach was churning as I worked up the courage to ask him, I didn't want to, but I just had to, cause I couldn't keep walking in silence. 

"Are we okay?"

"What do you mean?" There was little to no emotion in the voice and he didn't cast a glance down at me.

Great, I knew I shouldn't have said anything.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders, now that the can of worms was opened I might as well turn this into a fight as it always ends up being, "You're being strange."

"I am being strange?" Hercules asked.

Noel was still running off, oblivious to our raising voices. 

"Yes," I said, clenching my teeth together, "You're being...weird."

"How so?"

"You're being annoying now," I muttered, stopping. 

Hercules took another step before he turned around to face me, and there it was, another expressionless face staring at me. His grey eyes almost seemed like they were looking at my forehead, avoiding my own eyes. 

When he didn't respond, and just stood there, my blood was starting to boil. I may be emotionless in some aspects but going from 1 to 100 in a temper tantrum, that, I was expert at.

Why do I even bother trying!

This is exactly why I wanted no mate, soul mate my ass. If he was really my soul mate shouldn't he know how I'm feeling, should he feel it...in his SOUL?

"I'm annoying."

"You know what I mean! You're being a real shit now, I don't want to talk anymore."

Fine, I had one other emotion from temper, it was tears. Sometimes when I was so angry I would start to cry, and I hated that. I hated not having control over my emotions cause I grew up a little strange. And after everything I had been through in the last few years, from love to betrayal to death, my hormones were a little all over the place.

No wonder my wolf didn't want me, I didn't want myself. 

Hercules took a deep breath and sighed, when I first had these moments, he would comfort me, hug me, tell me it was all okay and in my head. But the last few months, he just stood there. 

"You hate me being an Enforcer, is that it? Did I wear out your patience?"

"I didn't say that and I never will."

"That's the problem though, you're never going to tell me to quit because you don't want to make that decision, you want me to make that decision but I am not going to."

"Then that resolves it, doesn't it?" Hercules continue. His tone was always calm, and that just tended to make me more irritated.

My phone started ringing in my pocket and I let it ring out, it had to be my parents. Who else would call me on a weekend.

"You want me to be a Luna, but I can't. My wolf isn't here, so maybe you and I just aren't the type of pairing you thought it would be," I muttered, well aware that his good hearing would pick up on it.

This was my out, every conversation ended up with me throwing the bone to the wolf, calling quits and every conversation Hercules would say I was overreacting. 

"I'm not forcing you to do anything, you take your time." 

"I am!" I snapped.

"Then what' the problem?"

"The problem is-," The ringing of my phone cut me off and I ignored it continuing, "that you've been acting strange the last few months and you're hiding something from me."

Hercules didn't deny it, which was only making it worse. I could see Noel sitting on the ground behind him near the small pond with Koi fish. 

The ring ended, only to start again.

I had a rule, if the phone rang three times in a row, it meant it was an emergency. Hercules knew that rule too, because the way he was looking at me he knew I was going to pick up the phone. And he was right.

I grabbed it out of my pocket, irritated and barked into it, "What?"

There was silence on the other line before I heard a voice. 

"Luna Hill?"

I pulled the phone back a little bit before I looked at the private number, who was calling me.

Hercules was still staring at me.

"Who is this?"I asked.

I couldn't recognise the voice, as it was quiet, almost like a whisper, and I could definitely hear stuff in the background. 

"L-luna, you need to come here now,"

Where was here? Before I could ask the voice continue.

"Beta Nick is dead."

Insta: Nihapupzy ! Come have a chat to me, this chap is dedicated to rti*** you know who you are - thank you for pestering me (In the nicest way) to update, I need these reminders~