Hercules was gone before I was awake, again, and I knew there was something wrong. Why wasn't he telling me what was wrong. I had spent most of this morning with my regular routine, helping around the house feeding some wolves, by that it was redistributing Cube's cooked meals since I couldn't cook that well, taking care of Noel till it was time for his afternoon nap which he sometimes had.

Hercules was locked away in his study, the door was closed, which meant he didn't want to be annoyed. He had it always a little ajar when he was alright with people barging into the room. With it closed, I was too scared of walking in.

"Are you coming tonight?" Marcus asked as I unstacked the dishwasher as he sat on the kitchen bench, not bar stool, eating peanuts.

"What is tonight?" I asked. I hadn't heard anything.

"We have a pack meeting, you haven't been to one in a long time." he said his legs swimming back and forth against the cabinet as he watched me.

"Oh." I said, Hercules hadn't told me. The last pack meeting I had been to was nearly five months ago, it didn't help with all this traveling I was that I hadn't been present at them.

"Um...I'm meant to go right." I asked Marcus. Marcus nodded.

"Yes most definitely you're the Luna, you have to come. Of course Alpha Ryder will probably tell you to go sleep." Marcus rolled his eyes, popping another peanut into his mouth.

I leaned against the kitchen top opposite him, "What am I meant to do? Am I meant to talk?" The last few ones that I had made, I had only attended a bit and left with Cube left. Cube wasn't going to attend them anymore till she has her baby, since she would be too tired and they were quite late at night.

"Is that why Hercules has been cooped up in his office?" I asked.

Marcus shrugged, "Can I have more peanuts?"

I grabbed the peanut jar from the pantry, holding it towards him, "Only if you help me with tonight,"

"Of course Luna Hill, Marcus at your command. Please give me the peanuts."

I leaned over, he can have the whole jar. Marcus went over the agenda, which I had already remembered from the last few times. It was any important updates that affected the entire pack, if anything suspicious was found in the last month, any important matters or agenda. They also discussed the future training if they needed to change it, rogues they had rescued that were being held in the basement till they were able to join the pack. Rogues that they did not rescue and had to end, paperwork that needed to be filed for that etc.

It was general pack admin, and it was definitely boring.

"Do I need to talk?" I asked Marcus for the fifth time, it didn't sound like it. Marcus shook his head, "Just sit next to him and offer support. I don't know." he shrugged.

I sighed, but I never sit next to him at these meetings, I was never there.

"You an always give us an update of your trip to the St Bernard pack, and update about Alpha Zloy. We've heard a lot of rumours about him, not good ones." he said.

"What type of rumours?" I asked.

Marcus opened his mouth, and then closed it, "Can't tell you. You'll use it as official enforcer business, nope my loyalty likes with the Luna not the enforcer." he said hopping off the bench.

"I am the Luna." I said

"But you're also an enforcer. I got to go to training, Gideon said if I skip it again he's going to hang me upside down from the pole." Marcus rushed out and his comments were at the back of my mind. Can't I be a Luna and an Enforcer at the same time. Hercules and I agreed that it could work, but Marcus seemed to be of the impression he couldn't talk to me, tell me things because I had an obligation to be an Enforcer.

I shrugged it off, looking at the time, I had a few more hours to the pack meeting. For the first time, attending these meetings seemed to be a bigger deal then they used to be. For some reason, for the first time, I had the doubt of whether all these other pack members considered me as their Luna, or just Hill.

* * *

I had to admit, I wasn't missing out on too much on these pack meetings. It was a fairly generic update that most people already knew. Some of the patrol leaders went about what they found, generally it was nothing, every now and then it was a rogue. This month there was no one trespassing which was good.

We still had one rogue in the basement that they were trying to train, there was an update that they may not be able to rescue this one as he was still showing violent behaviour. It would have to be considered by Hercules whether he was going to set the rogue free, and hope he wouldn't attach anyone because that would mean he would definitely die or to keep pursuing trying to tame him.

Marcus as the beta of the pack went through finances, telling everyone that Gideon spent too much on gummy bears this month. I tuned out as Marcus then went through other stuff such as training, Gideon supporting him since Gideon did more of the training.

I stretched my legs out, I was sitting at the front next to Hercules, Marcus and Gideon looking at the large pack. To think that most of the members were lives that they had saved was remarkable. At first glance you could never have seen that these wolves were once lost, hopeless and wanted to die. Right here, they were sitting with admiration for anyone that spoke. Right now they were looking at Marcus like he was a great leader, even though the man kept referring to gummy bears every second sentence.

The pack was mainly male dominated with at least 60% of them mateless, thinking about that made something in my stomach harden. I wondered how many of them because like that because of what Enforcers do, was it out fault or was it just fate. Sometimes we crossed paths and it wasn't always in a pleasant way.

I wondered how many of them were looking at me right now and wished I was dead, or mateless myself. I was instead sitting up here, next to Hercules, their Alpha, being everything that he was not. He was kind, loyal and I was just another enforcer that might have made them the way they were.

If that was the case, then the irony was Hercules rescues some of these wolves from me, and how many of them actually want me as their Luna. Perhaps they were all right after all, all the packs I still visit always wondered why I would be a Luna with my history. They didn't like it, and now I wondered how many of the eyes looking up here liked it as well. Did a pack even need a Luna?

I felt my throat tighten, suddenly realising that any one of them could want me dead and I didn't blame them one bit. In fact, I would want me dead as well, knowing what I had done all these years. Knowing where I had gone, who I had killed. I never really thought about it twice, I never really questioned why I was doing what I was doing. For me if I thought about it, I was going to not finish my job and I always put my job first.

Was that wrong? Putting my job first. Sitting here, looking at everyone I realised that if there was another instance where my job came first, would I be taking the job or would I be expected to do what a Luna would and protect the pack.

My heart told me one thing, and my mind told me another.

"I need to go." I whispered to Hercules before I stood up and rushed out the room, surely they weren't going to notice my disappearance. I headed out into the freezing cold air, I couldn't sit there as a Luna when I knew that the pack never really liked me. Would they ever forgive me? Marcus did, but that was Marcus.

I never had a wolf that was as strong as theirs, I wonder how long it would take before my wolf wanted to embrace the pack culture, without her I was always going to be this lost soul never committed to anything. My mother always said that her side of the family was very strong, yet I as yet to see it.

I headed back to our room, changing into my pyjamas sliding into the large bed. The moon was shining brightly into the room and I couldn't be bothered going to close the blinds now that I was in bed.

I heard Hercules silently enter the room two hours later, I knew how long because I was trying to fall asleep counting rogues but I couldn't sleep. I could hear the shower turn on, and then off. The cupboard silently closing as he got ready. It was another few minutes before I felt the bed dip and warmth come towards me.

I pretended to be sleeping but I should know that Hercules knew better.

I had my face buried in the pillow trying to breathe softly laying on my stomach. I felt the warmth and weight of his body partially on top of me, flushed against my side. He rested his chin on my shoulder, his arm around my body his palm resting on my stomach and he smelled like shampoo.

I enjoyed his touch from a human point of view, it was warm, comforting and pleasant but I knew that he would have a very different reaction to me, his wolf was in tune with him. I wondered what he felt.

"What's wrong?" He asked after a few moments. His breathe was warm and minty, and his smell was intoxicating, and in that moment nothing was wrong.

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