Chapter Ten: Running with the Wind

"So, what were your adopted parents like, Kenz?" Chris's mom asked politely, but it still put me in an uncomfortable situation. Who was I to think I could go the whole meal without being noticed.

"Umm....I rather not speak of them, please," I choked out, the combination of losing both my biological and adopted parents was taking its toll, and now I even knew how my real mother died, or more precisely was killed. It had happened right before my eyes, and all I could really do was tackle the murderer, I couldn't even save her from the death she most certainly did not deserve. Chris's mom didn't seem to notice the tone of my voice; she was really oblivious to people's feelings I guess, maybe that might be a good thing.

"Really, because I would really like to know all about them," she said. Nope not a good thing at all. Chris shot her a death glare, knowing this was dangerous territory she was coming in with me, but she didn't notice that either. I looked down at my full plate; it suddenly didn't look all too good to eat anymore. I pushed it away from me and scooted the chair back, "I'm sorry, I have lost my appetite," I said politely but firmly, and ran out the door, leaving dead silence in my wake.

I took deep breaths of the clean fresh air outside, the woody smell out here even more prominent than in the house. I could hear the individual animals rushing in and out of the tree trunks, scurrying around the forest floor. I dodged the trunks as I ran through the trees, swiftly moving without making a sound, my tears falling just as silently. My only regret with leaving the house, was that Jake was now all alone with those strangers, that thought made me slow to a stop, thinking heavily on the decision on whether to go back or not.

He has Chris, I said trying to convince myself. It worked for once, and I kept running. Away from humanization, further into the raw power of nature and all its glories. I gave myself into the indulges and let my senses run wild, taking in all of it, the whispers of the wind, the caress of the leaves as they lightly hit my face. The world had suddenly evolved into a universe of colors, making it much more interesting.

My breath started to become ragged, my muscles ached dully. I slowed down to a light trot, and finally halted in front of a cliff. The crash of waves sprayed up the side of the mountain, a cool breeze blew my hair back. By this time my tears had long dried from the speed of which I had been travelling, my eyes could produce no more in sorrow for my long gone parents. I collapsed, my legs hanging of the edge, swaying lightly in the breeze. I stared up into the sky, which I noticed was dark and star-filled. I must have been running for hours, and be miles upon miles away from the town and the werewolf pack. It made me sigh in relief, for some reason the alien feeling I felt around the huge pack wouldn't go away, a constant voice in my head yelling at me to run, and run far. I had finally given into that voice and did what it asked, making it fall into silence, content with my obedience.

The monster was also satisfied with the long run I had given my anger, my long pent up fury. I had thought my feelings were behind a mental dam, oh I was so wrong. It wasn't a dam, it was that monster guarding my prisoned feelings, and letting them out when the situation felt right, to it, it had a mind of its own. It was like I had two totally different personalities inside my mind, both with their separate feelings and wants. The monster only cared about pure animal needs, and desires. What harm would it do to give in to it? I shrugged; I had lost everything and anything, what I would gain from being myself I would eventually lose to fate or life.

A twig snapped, but I didn't care anymore, anything that was coming to get me could do so as it wished, my hope was gone. My eyes opened a little for curiosities sake, sure it might have killed the cat, but according to what I have recently been told, I was a dog. I looked into bright silver eyes, wolves' eyes.

They looked concerned, and I could've sworn there was a hint of a frown on its mouth, but of course wolves can't frown or smile, didn't have enough muscles correctly positioned for such a task. The wolves face morphed and shimmered, until it finally rested on Chris's face, going from black fur to tanned skin with floppy black hair resting on top of his head. There was a frown on his face, and I had been right when I guessed that his eyes were filled with concern.

"What?" I asked weakly, I hadn't given up my earlier resolve for no hope, but his face was just too caring to ignore.

"You alright?" he softly asked, as I sat up from my laying down position. Chris wore blue jean shorts, but no shirt; I diverted my eyes almost instantly from his tanned and chiseled chest.

"No, I've never been right, can't see why I'd start being right now." I sighed, staring out into the blue waters, as they now softly rolled in. He sighed at my attempt at sarcasm, but my heart just wasn't in it.

"Kenz, you have to come back. I apologize for my mother's questions; she's always been oblivious of what people are really feeling. Lets just say she would really suck at being a therapist." I smiled a little, at his own attempt to amuse me.

"Yeah, she would. But what's the point, I mean, I evidently don't belong here, haven't since my father died." It hurt slightly to say my father and died in the same sentence, especially since they had to do with each other. I couldn't even remember him, yet I felt strong feelings of love and trust in him.

A hand came under my chin, it was warm and firm. Chris forced me to look at him in the eye, his bore into mine with intensity, clearly trying to make me understand. "You do belong. I will make sure of that, you belong much more than most people in the pack at the moment." More tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them away before they could fall down my cheeks. "Okay," I said softly, my voice cracking slightly in the middle.

He nodded, and helped me up, but as we started walking I couldn't help noticing he kept his hand in mine. I forced myself to acknowledge the fact that he had a fiancé and he was probably only holding my hand to make sure I didn't fall over. But the hand felt comforting all the same.