The view is nice from up here. When I was younger and I would do something stupid and reckless, I always gave myself a time out because deep down I knew what I did and why I did it. I would climb up the tree in our backyard and hide there. Dad found me once and tried talking me into building a treehouse but I didn't want a treehouse. I wanted to be free, so kept climbing and never fell.

Ray's house is old, surrounded by trees, my type of environment but they are all dried except the Willow tree. I climb up the tree farther away from the house because I don't want to be found. I want to be alone at moment because everything is just a lot to process.

Jessica is my one true friend and I think I just ruined our friendship. My anger towards her is justified because she hurt me by sleeping with her boyfriend on my bed. She had no right and I won't be letting go of that anytime soon. But she didn't try to apologize after that. I know I said I didn't want to see her but it was as if she was fine with not talking to me. She sat with Alyssa. She didn't check up on me after I got stabbed. I can't stop thinking about that. And about the ghost stuff. It was spell that started all this, I didn't ask for her help. I never wanted it. I was doing find on my own and now she's pinning everything on me like it's my fault. I can say her intentions were pure and done out of love because she's never done anything to make me  doubt her but she shouldn't have messed with my head. She should have just told me what the spell was. I should have known what kind of spell she made me say.

I never should have attacked her like that. I never meant for any of that to happen. I was acting on impulse and stress. I couldn't stop myself. I should have just asked but the last memory I had of her before this day was her trying to kill me. I know it wasn't really her but she was present and I don't think I can ever erase the look on her face when she saying the death spell.

I know what Jessica did for me. She has sacrificed so many for me. She even came looking for me and how did I react? I behaved like an ingrate. She might never forgive for what I did and I might never forget what she did. So we're square. I can't afford to lose her because she is true to me. And I know what will happen to me if I lose her.

Everything is just happening too fast. Maybe I shouldn't have left the island. I wouldn't have if it was up to me because I actually had fun on the island. I trained everyday. I connect with the environment and nature. I did all that and Damian was with me all the way.

This is me thinking back to my behavior for the past days. I acted out of anger and jealousy. I was mad at Damian for rejecting me, I still am but I shouldn't be angry at him. He owns his feelings and if he doesn't feel the same way as me, I have no right to punish him for it.

I'm mad at world. I'm mad at my birth parents because they pretty much abandoned here. I mean, I saw how they both fought for me before and after I was born, but it's like that feeling just disappeared and they don't care about me again. I pretend not to give a fuck when truly I do. I pretend to understand that my mom is still stuck in the past and my dad is finding himself after what he went through, but what about me?

It's hurt so damn much to know that there are people in your life that prefers to be absent from it.

And then there's the person after me. And Roman. Fuck! This is more messed up than I thought. What am I going to do when I find Roman's body? First, I'm going to say a proper goodbye. Second, I'll give him a witch burial. I think that's probably why I'm still seeing him. He hasn't been given a proper wizard burial.

After that, then what?

"Try screaming." I flinch at the sound of the unwanted voice. Closing my eyes, I groan and face down before opening my eyes to see Damian. "You might feel better."

Yeah, I might but I don't like screaming. I might end up scaring the birds.

"What are you doing here, Damian?" I move my gaze away from him and stare at the sky, even the sky is dull today. "How did you find me?"

"I followed your scent," He answers before asking. "Can I come up?"

It's really pointless trying to start an argument. "It's a free tree, suit yourself."

I hear him sigh before levitating himself in the air, settling on the free space beside me. "Are you okay?" He asks.

Sighing, I look down at my fingers playing with the dry leaves I picked up. "I don't know how to answer that question."

In a way, it's better to avoid answering the question because then I won't have to tell him about how I really feel about his rejection. How it really got to me?

I can understand from his point of view but I just don't think he can understand from mine. So it's better to not talk about it at all.

"Fair enough," He murmurs before asking. "How have you been feeling somehow lately?"

"I don't understand what you mean by that?" I mean, isn't that the same as how am I?

Damian sighs and says. "Your powers, how do you feel about them?"

They feel out of control and I blame them on my emotions because the key to controlling my powers is my emotions.

"Great. They're great."

"Are you sure?" He asks but there's something about voice that's alarming. Damian always worry about me but this time it's more. Making me wonder what's wrong.

"Why?"

He takes a deep breath before talking. Now I know that's something wrong. "While tracking you down we saw the diner."

Okay, they saw the diner, so what? Wait, maybe those men are still asleep. I mean I've never used to spell before, I don't know how long it last. He better not be asking if I killed them because he should know better than to think that of me.

"I didn't kill them, if that's what you're worried about. It was a sleep spell,  they should be awake by now."

"That's problem." He replies.

I freeze. That's the problem. What does he mean by that? Are they still asleep?

"What?"

"They are all dead."

I place my hand on the tree to support myself before turning to face him. "Excuse me?"

"The ravens, they killed them."

What?

"But I didn't." I shake my head frantically. No, that's not possible.

"I know. I know you didn't."

"They're dead. All of them?"

He nods. "Yes."

"Fuck!" I mutter, blinking. I just conjured them to scare Karai away.

"Maybe layoff the ravens, and use your witch powers for the meantime," He tells me.

"Why?"

"I have a reason to believe that you are in trouble."

Well, that's not news. I'm always in trouble. There is always someone out to get my throat.

"Okay,"

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"You aren't even going to argue with me?" He seems surprised as he watches me through his lashes. It's weird seeing him looking at me like this.

I sigh and answer him. "I'm exhausted Damian." I'm tired of fighting and arguing with him. It won't get anywhere and he won't go away so what's the point.

"I guess." He nods, breaking his gaze as he looks away from me. "Why didn't you tell me about Roman?"

Why didn't I tell him again?

"I guess I didn't want to bother you besides it was fun to have him around, just like old time." The real Roman knows how to push my buttons and make me feel crazy.

"Do you still have feelings for him? Is that why you're going after him?" He asks.

Did he seriously just ask me that? Because I think I misheard him. Guys can be so dumb sometime. What makes him think I have feelings for Roman.

"His body? yeah. Feelings? No."

"Okay." He agrees and opens his mouth to continue talking but stops himself from going further.

"Okay."

I look away from him and stare at the lonely bird flying in the sky. It's all right buddy, life's just like that.

I haven't thought about what I'll do after all this. Will I go back to The Vale? Or maybe I won't even be alive to see the end of this.

"Look, Camille, I want to apologise for what I said on the island. The truth is that I have feelings for you but I don't want to act on it."

Oh. My. God! Did he just– wait, someone pinch me. No, I– he totally just did. He literally just said he has feelings for me, as in real feelings like he feels the same way. Fuck yeah! And I remember the part where he said he doesn't want to act on it.

"Why?" I stare at him, and he is looking everywhere but my face.

"Because of my duty to protect you."

That is his first priority. He would choose his duty over everything else in this world. That's what makes him a good and loyal soldier. But he's forgetting that I can handle myself.

"I don't need your protection, Damian." I tell him, even when I know I'm not convincing him. I guess a part me just wants him to give his duties his middle finger and give us a try. While the other part knows Damian would never do that.

"But you do, Camille." He says before moving his hand to my face, tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ear. "I was born to serve you and I will till the end of time."

He really means business. What kind of things do they teach them on Di Hipsodat? It's so depressing. And to think my human Mother is there right now. How is she even coping with all the rules and shit?

"That's a very long time, why don't we just be ourselves and forget duties?" I'm pushing my lucky, I know. But it won't hurt to try except getting rejected again would really sting. They say third time is a charm.

"I can never forget my duties, not even for a second." He answers. Why am I not surprised?

All right. He's made his choice and I know we can never be together, so yeah it's fine and probably for the best. I guess it's time to let him know what's really going on.

"There's a bounty on my head, Damian. I can die anytime now. You really–" he rudely interrupt me.

"A bounty on your head?"

I nod my head. "Yep. I'm worth seven hundred million dollars." I tell him with a sad smile.

Something flashes in his eyes, I don't know what it is but if I didn't know better I'd say it's fear. But I know better.

"You aren't safe here especially not with Ray."

Yeah, Ray. I noticed that they both know each other and from what I could see from their behavior to each other earlier, they don't like each other very much.

"Why? What's your deal with him?"

"He is a manipulative bastard."

My mouth drops open at his choice of words. Damian is the type of guy your parents wants for you. He isn't bad. He follows the rules and never cusses. I guess spending time around me has altered some things in his system because he's changed. He isn't the same Damian I met at the lake in The Vale.

"You are starting to sound like human, more month here and you'll be cussing like a sailor." I tease him but the look on his face tells me that my humor isn't needed.

"It's not funny," he mutters.

"I'm not laughing. I shouldn't even be talking to you." I say, looking away from him.

"Why?"

Because you rejected me. You said you have feelings for me too but won't act on it because of your fucking duties.

"Because you're a dick." He is a dick for choosing his stupid duty over me. I'm here, aren't I?

"You can't understand what it's like to be me." He whispers, almost like he doesn't want me to hear.

"Then make me understand."

Damian has always been closed off. He doesn't open to anyone. I don't know anything about him except that he's Damian and he is in charge of me.

I hope the next thing that comes out of his mouth is something positive. I need that right now.