C2

So this is what heartbreak feels like.

What did I think was going to happen? That, yeah, since all my troubles are over and my questions answered, I can be with the guy I like but I thought wrong. It wasn't as if I asked him to marry or something. He straight up told me no. Fucking asshole rejected me! He didn't even think about it or look at me twice.

Kissing him under the mistletoe last semester was a bold move on my part because I thought I read him right. I mean, I saw the way he looked me that night and I was so sure he felt everything I felt.

So what changed? Or did I read him wrong?

It was his idea to go to island together and fuck I really read into it. I thought maybe he didn't want to do anything on school grounds. I thought he wanted to spend more time with me. In my defense, we did spend all our time together. I saw his eyes when he looked at me and I always felt him staring at me when I wasn't looking.

So what went wrong?

If I'm to take an educated guess, I will say it's because of my grandmother, the queen. He told me she tasked him with a job to protect me, and I know he would never do anything stupid like disobey her. You see, Damian is a proud guy, he has ego even though he doesn't know it, it's just the way he is. He is an alpha male from a world where male ruled, but that dynamic changed over the last few decades when my grandmother took the throne. Damian said she was the first female leader, and from what he told me the throne was wasn't handed to her, she took it by force and to do that in a place like that made her more respectable. He respects her more than anything, he's loyal to her, I know he won't do anything to jeopardize his position in her army.

At first I thought she was the reason he hadn't asked me out. I also thought it might be because he isn't human, so he doesn't really know how that works. I took it upon myself to address the elephant in the room with the hopes of getting a positive reaction from him but I was wrong. He doesn't feel anything for me, and it's not like he hasn't been telling me. I guess I was just too stupid to see it.

How could I have seen it when he's always been there. I should have seen it coming, all the signs were there. Ever since the kiss, he's kept me at a distance but he was always there when I needed him. I never ask why because I preferred him that way. Even though he kept me at a distance, he became more aware of me. He wasn't as cold as he was before. There was a time he even laughed at my lame jokes. At first, I didn't mention the kiss because I was waiting for him to bring it up since he kissed me back and man, for someone who said Dihipians don't get physical, he sure proved himself with that kiss. When he didn't say anything, I did, and he'd always change the subject. He never gave me any ideas but he shouldn't have given me mixed signals.

None of this would have happened if I hadn't followed him back to the island, but deep down I knew I went with him because I didn't have anywhere else to go. I can't spend three months alone in The Vale, I'll go insane. Jessica, Nate and Alicia are the only people I have there to talk to and I can't exactly spend my vacation with them, I could have gone to Jessica's but I never thought about it. He brought the idea of 'relaxing in front of the ocean' and I took it without thinking.

I can't say I'm not hurt by Damian's words because they gutted me out but there's nothing I can do about. Can't force people to love me, so I'm just going to have to deal with it. I'm glad we're going back to The Vale because there I won't be seeing him regularly and I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing he broke my heart.

"You ready?" Damian's voice pulls me from my thought as he asks.

I zip my bag and whip my head to side to see him standing at the doorway. My eyes meet his and it doesn't take a genius to know he's retract back to his old self. The cold Damian, I can tell from the dead, blank green eyes staring back at me. I loved when those eyes uses to sparkle with life, it did until this morning. I expected too much and now I have to deal with it.

I look away from him as I carry my backpack from the bed and sling it on my shoulder. My eyes roams around the room, giving it one last look because I don't think I'll be coming back here.

My powers work just fine now, I can control them, so there's no point in returning besides why would I want to return to a place where I got my heart broken.

Sighing, I turn around to face Damian, making sure not to meet his eyes because I've been used to seeing his face alive. I'm not sure how I'll handle the void.

"Yeah sure." I clear my throat nervously and rub my hands on my jeans.

"Okay then." His voice is very low, barely getting to me. Damian holds out to me. My eyes burn holes into his palm. Sure he doesn't expect me to take his hand after what he did. "There's nothing to be afraid of, you can trust me."

Yeah right, I fucking can.

Taking one step at time until I reach arms length. "I think I can manage on my own," I reply, hoping he catches the venom in my tone.

"Don't be like that, you know we have go into the portal together." He tries to give me reason why I need to hold his hand but I think I'll pass.

"Why is that?" I ask, meeting his gaze and immediately regret it.

"Please," he pushes his hand forward, "take it."

His walls goes down, showing me his vulnerability but it doesn't stay as his demeanor changes, giving me the cold Damian.

I finally let out the breath I've been holding since I made eye contact and release the hold from my backpack. Proceeding to place my hand on his. His hands are cold unlike my opposite temperature, and I hate the way my body reacts as soon as my hand touched his. Feeling the excitements all over.

Damian squeezes my hand and starts the spell. I keep my head down as the line that passes through life and death are torn. The life portals begins to open. He tightens his hand on mine as the passways begin to clear. We step into the portal and boom, we're home.

This never gets old.

I don't want to close my eyes because I want to see how everything unfolds but somehow it closes itself.

I can feel that we're back home, giving the smell of Jessica's weird cigarette perfume scent. Opening my eyes, I breath in the familiar air and smell of my room. The nostalgic feeling soon pass when I hear moans.

Without removing my hands from Damian's, I turn my head to side slower, hoping and secretly praying that what I'm thinking is not what's happening.

Jessica Cruz-William, butt naked, riding on Nate like a cowgirl, and for your information, Nate is naked too. I'm not even worried about that, at least now I know why she left the Island when she did. This is exactly why I never try Astra project here because after what happened the last time, I knew it was bound to happen again. I'm not hurt that my best friend is getting some action from the guy she loves, but them doing it on my fucking bed is what I have a problem with.

"Seriously," I mutter under my breath, pulling my hand from Damian's hold, who apparently is still gawking at them in surprise like it's his first time seeing naked humans being or is it the activity going on

Jessica freezes on Nate, not knowing what to do, well, I'm damn too angry to find out. I drop my backpack on the floor and walk out of the room, hearing Jessica calling my name.

I don't even know which one upset me most, the fact that Jessica is having sex with Nate on my bed or the fact that she's even having sex at all. I guess this is what happens when you're still overcoming some–

"Camille, wait!" The order comes out authoritatively but I don't stop. We're back in The Vale and I don't take orders from anyone, not even Damian.

I climb down the stairs, rushing and running to nowhere in particular. Pushing some people on my way, bumping in another as I pass the common room. I don't stop running until I get to the lake, the only fucking thing I miss.

Bending over with my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath. Why did I run anyway? No one was chasing me.

After catching my breath, I stand up straight, and walk closer to the edge of the small wooden deck and drop on my ass to sit. Taking off my boot, I put the pair beside me and dip my bare feet in the cold water. "What are you doing, Camille?" I whisper to myself.

One rule. I only have one rule when it comes to Nate coming to our room. Do not have sex on my bed. She has her own bed, why can't she just use it? Now, I'm angry at my friends. Fuck!

I sigh and look ahead.

I don't know how much time I spend, staring into space, keeping my mind blank, not thinking about anything. I've gotten quite good at medication especially the one where I clear my mind off thoughts, something I learned from Damian.

"Heard you were back?" I hear the sound of the familiar voice of Roman. Yeah, that Roman. The dead one. I'm not surprised to see him here because ever since my run in with that Grinch from Jessica's spell, I've been seeing him.

I don't know how that's possible or even if he's real and I don't want to find out. I confide in a ghost and I love chatting with the ghost. It's easier to talk to an entity that isn't real.

"Hello cowboy, was wondering when you'd show up," I joke as my feet dangle in the water.

The spirit chuckles before sitting beside me. For a ghost, he looks well except his cold skin and soulless eye almost like a vampire but I've never met one, so I'll pass on the idea.

"I was waiting on you to get here," he tells me. "How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Nah, you're not." He caught me, you can't lie to a ghost, spirit, whatever the hell he is. "You're sad, you're hurt. Did Damian finally dump your ass when he realized how much of a bitch you are?"

I chuckle.

This is keeps me at ease because I know the Roman I know wouldn't call me a bitch. Although they're both mean.

"For a dead damned soul, you can be so judgemental. You're starting to become a real pain in my ass, you know that?" I don't take offense to what he said, we're always doing this dance.

"Touche. Nice come back," he says with chuckles, and sighs before speaking again. "Tell me, what's wrong?"

I stare at him, studying his body language but it's pointless because he's a ghost, he doesn't have feelings. "I don't know." I clear my throat and tuck the loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "Everything is wrong, and it also feels like everything is okay at the same time."

To be honest, I don't have an answer to his question. Damian rejecting me is the source of my sore mood and seeing Jessica fuelled my already burning rage. After what I'd gone through, I thought there's noway I would ever feel that kind of anger in life again but here I am.

"You're spiraling, tell me exactly what's wrong with–" He stops talking and looks behind us, I follow his gaze and frown when I see the person approaching, my second least favorite person at moment. "Guess we'll finish this conversation later, and don't think I'll forget."

"See you soon...bud." I give him a wink before he vanishes right before my eyes.

"Camille." Jessica stands where Roman was just sitting, looking thoroughly explored. I won't tell her that her dress is inside out and the way her wild curly hair are poorly tamed.

I shake my head and face the quiet lake. This view is better.

"Camille, I'm sorry. I swear today was the first and last time. It was the moment, I swear. I'm sorry," She says and it sounds sincere, then again everything that comes out of her mouth always matches her feelings.

I turn my head to her side and squint, using my hand to block the reflection of the sun. "Tell me something, Jessica. How was your vacation?"

"Really?" Like she can't believe I asked. "You want to know?" I nod. She smiles and sits down. "After Damian brought me back, it was still summer so I went looking to Nate. And I found him, he was very surprised when he saw me..." I tune her out.

Yeah, vacation is over and apparently everyone is still feeling perpetually jolly except me. I'm happy for Jessica and Nate. Their relationship wasn't a surprise but it happened really fast. It's seem like Jessica's got it all figured out, she has a stable relationship, friendship and doesn't need me. She's even decided what she wants to do for her future, she's going to Harvard to study Law.

The truth is I envy Jessica and I'm ashamed of it. She's my best friend even though I'm mad at her at moment. I should be happy for her but I'm not, and I can't continue to listen to this shit, not at this moment.

"We did a lot of things, like have sex on a water bed, in a pool, on a motorcycle–"

"Really?" I cannot believe after everything she would say this. To me.

She nods her head. "Yeah, it was really complicated but–" I cut her off but this time rudely.

"I need to get out of here, I'm happy for you, Jessica," I tell her as I get on my feet, dusting my jeans. "But I can't listen to this shit. Didn't you hear the sarcasm behind my question? You think I really want to know how much you enjoy having sex with your boyfriend? The same one you were fucking in our room, on my fucking bed!"

Jessica is quick to be on her feet. "And I apologized for it. Camille, I–"

"Don't give a fuck, I'm out of here. I had one rule." I almost shove my index finger in her face while making my one rule clear. "One fucking rule and you broke it. You crossed that fucking line." I turn my heels and starts walking away, stopping when I hear her voice again.

"What the hell is wrong with you? It wasn't as if I knew you were come back!" She says with growing anger.

Without turning around, I flip her the bird and continue walking away. It's better this way because if I should I reply her, it would be something I will regret and I've already lost everything else, I don't think I'm ready to lose her too.

I'm just angry. It'll pass.