the strength
The train settled to a calm rumble and it felt like a dream. Was it over? It wasn't, because the moment I was able to open my eyes, I realized that I was no longer on the ground but in the sky.
Everything was surging up, up, and away.
I knew better than to question this whole experience so I looked beyond the horizon and took note of how hard it was to breathe. But this was not suffocating like how I felt with Fear.
It felt heavy yet liberating, like I could make an offer to the heavens.
"The only offer you should have made was to the one before me."
Once again, with the voices and their greetings.
A teenager stood by the cabin. She wore thick-rimmed glasses that bordered her pupils. She had on blue suspenders and a white shirt underneath. Her pants were a light beige.
She had the universe in her eyes. There were specks of black and brown. Her cheekbones were sculpted to the point I wondered why God had favorites.
I took a seat, ready for the next therapy session to start with her.
She laughed. "Therapy, alright. I am the one who comes after one has made peace with reality. I am what everyone needs," she voiced.
It was like a game to me, thinking of the things she might have been. Integrity? Determination? Endurance? Her lips lifted up into a smile as words entered my mind at the possible things she could be.
"Close," she pronounced, allowing me to believe that she had been everything that I had listed in my head. "I am what brought you through the storms."
She spoke a little like a child yet like an adult at the same time. She emphasized certain words with an energy that was pure yet timeless.
"Tell me, what do you do when you're in pain?"
"I mourn silently," I answered honestly, and she snickered slightly at my answer.
"Why would you mourn?" she asked. "Pain does not mean the death of happiness; it simply means you've moved away from it for a moment."
"Throughout this whole train ride, I've realized that all of you say the same thing." I cleared my throat. "You all keep saying happiness will come back to me."
"Because it's a promise that it will." She snapped her suspenders and I wanted to thank her for her open-mouthed smiles that made me feel a surge of motivation.
I found myself smiling in return. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled like that.
"But we tell you, don't we? That it is not here to stay."
I nodded at her words. "My best days are yet to come and to go."
"That's why you need me," she replied slyly, a hand going to nudge my shoulder as she would a friend. "Some flowers bloom at night and they may be different, but they bloom just the same. Look, a shooting star!"
"In the day?" I asked, distracted by her words and she frowned at me.
"You can't see the stars in the day, but they are still there," she told me and I agreed. "Can you see it?"
No, I could not see it, but because she looked so excited I said I did. She chuckled as if she knew that I was lying but she let it pass.
She reached out over the window and with a palm in the air, I felt a pull.
I stared in awe when a sparkly star landed on the palm of her hand. She brought it closer to both of us.
"This is for you," she finally said. "I must leave."
"You're leaving already?" I asked, her stay much shorter than the rest. Her shoulders shook as she giggled.
"Just like the rest, you already have me. You just needed to be reminded that you had me in you." She tilted her palm downwards and I opened up my hands, the star dropping down from hers. "Before I leave, I must ask you to bring it with you wherever you go."
"The star?" I asked and she shook her head, pointing at herself before bounding towards the carriage.
"I don't even know what you are yet!"
She turned and gave me a final wave.
"I am strength," she called out and with that, the train dropped down to the ground and she vanished like the rest of them.
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