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the happiness


The soft yellow glow emanated from the field of sunflowers, all turned towards the high and bright sun in the sky.

It felt like morning just a moment ago, but now the soft rays were blaring with heat. The field stretched out as far as my eyes could see, with a small cottage visible in the distance. A stump and an ax were embedded in the ground, and the smell of moist soil filled my nostrils.

There was a similar scent to petrichor, but I was certain that it didn't rain. In the field, the black dots bordered by yellow triangles created a mesmerizing pattern.

I found myself trying to count the sunflowers, getting lost in the process and starting over again with a smile.

I noticed a cluster of houses and people weeding the ground in the distance, and I tried to give them a wave.

To my surprise, an old woman in a pink apron waved back. I chuckled to myself, a thump sounding, and a man walked in.

Unlike Innocence's mismatched pajamas, he was wearing a loose white shirt with three buttons unbuttoned. He had big, brown eyes and boyish features, with dark brown tousled hair.

My eyes met his, the newcomer letting out a small twirl before bowing to me.

"Good afternoon, my lady," he greeted.

I noticed that he had the same steel-heeled shoes. They made sounds every time they came into contact with the ground whenever he walked.

"I believe I am the most important person you will meet today. I demand that we spend a little more time here than the others who will visit you."

"There are others?"

"Of course," he answered with a confident grin. "They're not that important. But me? I'm very important."

The charisma oozing from him was powerful.

He flashed me an even wider smile, sitting right where Innocence sat.

"Tell me where you've been, love." His voice was a proper demand. "Other than the pile of heavy work, the heartbreak, and the healing."

"I can't tell you about the healing when I haven't been there," I answered. He belted out a laugh, stretching his legs lazily in front of him. "You haven't introduced yourself."

"Do I have to?" he asked, raising his hands in the air. "Isn't it obvious?"

If Innocence was the person I once were, who would this stranger be?" I thought to myself. He clicked his tongue, his head moving back and forth as an indication of passing time.

""Happiness," he told me. "Come on, I'm the best one out there! Can't you tell?"

I couldn't help but smile at his words. I agreed.

"People want me. People try to have me, but I always slip away with time and then come back again. That's called playing hard to get," he mused, wagging a finger at me. "Happiness, healing, hope. What other H words are there?"

"Hungry," I answered, and he blinked. "Sorry, I mean... I'm hungry."

"Ah, of course. Sweetheart, when was the last time you ate?" His voice was casual but laced with concern, and I shrugged.

I hadn't been able to eat for a while.

He let out a sudden snap of his fingers. "But you're hungry now, that's a good sign. I like seeing people eat. It makes me happy."

He clapped his hands. The sound of footsteps reached my ears when the orange-haired conductor, struggling to balance a big plate of food in his arms.

Happiness motioned to me, prompting the conductor to lean down and place the tray right on my lap.

"Now, off you go," the man sang, and the conductor scowled before stalking away almost angrily. "Courage... he moves in a pace I do not understand."

"He's Courage? I thought he was just a train conductor."

"Well, it takes courage to get on a train that brings you absolutely nowhere," the man replied. "Courage, your first step towards self-enlightenment."

"You're Happiness," I clarified once again.

"That's right," he answered, winking at me. "I am your happiness, you golden thing. You'll find that I'm the most charming. The rest are rather heavy to converse with in my opinion. Damn, the negativity," he scowled.

His tan skin had a nice sheen to it. I wanted to reach out and touch him.

"Can't touch me, woman. I am intangible," he told me, and I remembered that these beings could hear my thoughts. "Priceless."

"I agree," I replied, looking down at the massive plate of food and picked a wrapped sandwich from it. I tore the paper away. "I have been to bookshops, museums, and movie theatres. I now realize that I was happy because I was alone."

"Freedom grants you happiness," Happiness stated. "The act of doing what you want, being who you are, and going where you want to go is happiness for you. Do you not deserve that, my lady?"

"I do."

"Then why do you not reach for it?"

"Because there are consequences to my actions," I replied. He pressed his lips together, deep in thought. "There are things that I hold to my name that have been granted upon me that I can't stray away from."

He sighed, stroking his chin with his hand.

"I know," he finally said. "That's why I must ask you to tread carefully. We can't burn down your home nor the empire that has been built up to serve you, but we can give you hope that it will work out."

I took a bite of the sandwich. "Happiness is a broad term, isn't it?"

"That's why," Happiness complained. "It's all over the place. Do you understand how complicated it is for me?"

He then broke into a smile to show that he was feigning his annoyance.

"Happiness can be found in you, in those around you, and even if you may not feel it... All your decisions are made so you can feel it again. You're not happy now, are you?"

He had the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen, his long lashes bordering his pupils that made me feel like I couldn't look anywhere else.

"No," I murmured.

What can you do to make yourself feel happy again?" he asked, and my mind was brought back to the one person who held most of my suffering in his hands. "You don't need him, darling. He is merely a portion of your life."

"They will talk about me," I finally said to him. The train began moving again, and I began to panic. The sunflowers began to grow smaller. "So soon?"

"I told you that I come and go," Happiness said, "but whether we meet again is up to you, honey. Happiness is a choice, and it is in your hands. The time has come. The next person has to take over."

"Who is the next person?" I asked, Happiness standing up.

"The one that has been consuming your life," Happiness said. There were no longer sunflowers, but palm trees that swayed back and forth with the wind.

I knew it was almost time for him to leave.

He gave me the same bow Innocence had before turning on his heel and saying his final goodbye with a sentence that made my skin crawl and my heart tremble.

"May you learn to let go of anything that does not serve you."

He disappeared as the sun set. The sky faded into dark hues of purple and gray, the train chugging towards a body of water. 

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