1911 | Dear Dirary,

I have spent the last week trying to help my new baby sister, Fawnie Rose is her name. I suppose her last name would be Shelby as well. She is a bit ugly and will not let anyone touch her hair. Fawnie's beginning to get nots in it.

Even Tommy tried to help her but she cried when he came near her. No one can help her. It makes me very sad.

Then Johnny tried and she stopped crying. I say it is because he has SO many children but aunt Polly says it is because he is "to be her helper". Some times she is so mad. Now Fawnie is clean. She is still crying a lot but only when John is gone.

He adores her. I still think it is because he is a father. Tommy and Art both do not have children, they don't have the... they don't have the father-ness.

I wish I knew better words to talk better. My teacher says I am learning very fast, almost too fast but I wish to be much smarter. I don't come from smart people so I have to try very hard to be smart. Arthur says I will be the smartest. But I do not think anyone will be as smart as Tommy is.

1914 | Dear Diary,

My brothers are leaving us. For some stupid fucking war. Tommy promised to be back for Christmas but I know he is lying. Tommy can't lie very well, his eyes give him away.

I feel so tired. Aunt Polly says that we must stick together, that I must focus on my schooling. Arthur made me promise to finish my primary school if they are gone that long. Then Tommy hit him for saying they might be gone for so long. I wish I believed Tommy.

I usually do. But he seems so sad.

Johnny is angry. He is always angry these days. It is probably why I curse so much now. Martha says he's just sad. I think we all are. Cousin Katie is sad, so is Johnny junior and Emily and Franklin. We all are so sad.

I wish they didn't have to leave. I said they could hide here and we would bring them food in secret but Ada laughed at me. She can be nasty sometimes.

Besides sadness, I am really angry. Why should we have to help with a war that has nothing to do with us? I don't get it. I really don't. But maybe Tommy will see Sylvette, the girl who got carted off to France when they were little. I think it was a few years before I was born. He doesn't talk about her.

Polly does though.

1918 | Dear Diary,

They're finally home. I didn't think I missed them that much until I hugged Arthur and began sobbing. Everyone is crying. It's like when they left only this time it is much happier. Fawnie's face lit up immediately upon seeing Johnny. She and all of my cousins hugged him at once.

Martha did not make it to the train station... she never even made it out of her house. John didn't mention it though, I think he was scared to hurt the kids. I think he needs help. There are so many of them.

I miss Martha, she was a very good sister-in-law to me. Even if I am so young. Ada treats me like a child, Martha never did that though.

At least my brothers all survived. Even if Tommy seemed to left himself behind in France. It's sad. I wish he hadn't had to leave. Things were hard with them gone. But it's like as soon as they returned, Tommy pretended nothing had changed and got to work.

He had nothing to mourn and it is confusing. We're all mourning lost time and Martha and yet... Tommy seems fine.

But I hear him at night, screaming sometimes. He wakes Fawnie and I nearly every night. His screams are so loud.

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

Here's the prologue!! This story is INCREDIBLY short. Even shorter than Cost of The Chase (We are talking less than 10k words in total). So this is definitely going to be fast paced and a bit weird at times. Since this is written as diary entries, we see it all through Winnie's entries! I hope you all enjoyed this fist chapter <3