They followed me back.

They seemed to be in a good mood, and why shouldn't they? It had been a successful flight, and they'd gotten some more revenge on the man who caused the massive air strike.

The man that caused the massive air strike is dead. Izuna has absolutely nothing to do with it.

And Izuna's brother had been given orders. Just like I was, daily. Wasn't his case the same as mine? If I didn't do my dirty work, someone else would. If Izuna's brother hadn't dropped the bomb, the only difference in the world would be that my brother's death would be caused by someone else than the brother of the toy shop owner whom I'd grown to love.

"Captain!" One of my subordinates slung his arm around my shoulders. I was beginning to feel hesitant regarding how close they felt they were to me. "Why did you have us stop?"

"Yeah, we should have killed that fucker!" another said.

"But this way, we still have a chance to come get him..." the first said. "Maybe gain a few favours from him before he dies. He can't die a virgin, you know?"

A volcanic rage boiled up within me. In that moment, I was thankful I was me, because that rage would have caused anyone else to lash out and kill the speaker.

I didn't.

"You will do no such thing", I said calmly instead.

"Why not, Captain? You have a thing for him or something?"

They all became dead silent. The magnitude of what the man had said hung over the group.

I looked at the man, dead in his eyes. Slowly, very slowly, I approached him. I saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed out of fear as the sound of my approaching footsteps crunching the snow. I didn't stop until I was towering over him in my full height, my chest close to his face.

"Listen to me very carefully", I said. "You could be executed for such accusations. You are no friend of mine, but my subordinate. You are to pay me respect to the best of your pathetic excuses of abilities or I will make life in the air very, very difficult for you." The man looked terrified. I was not enjoying myself, but I persisted, for Izuna's safety, I had to do this; he wasn't allowed to be caught as someone with a deviant sexuality. I wouldn't allow it. "Do you understand me?"

He nodded.

I turned and left the group.

As I came into our housing, I went to the bathroom and threw up to the memories of Izuna being beaten.

I did what I always did.

I went to the planes.

I couldn't go to my plane, because it was still standing in the main street where I had left it engine burning. I missed it terribly, but went to another plane of the same model as mine instead, thinking it would have to do.

I looked up at its face, hesitating. Leaving my plane burning behind me for Izuna'a sake was one thing. Going to another plane was another thing entirely; this felt like cheating, somehow.

Even so, I sighed, and leaned my forehead against the metal of the plane's body, wishing it was Izuna's skin.

I allowed myself to think about the air strike that had killed my brother. Before it happened, my country had already suspected the enemy had bombs of an unfathomable magnitude, but we had never believed they would dare use one; we had believed they would use it as threat only.

We still lived in terror of them using one such bomb again. Our politicians claimed the war was to prevent such an attack from reoccurring, but I didn't believe it for a second, and people much smarter than me didn't believe it, either. It was about revenge. It was all about revenge, clad in the cloak of a purpose more noble.

Just like my own existence in the Air Force.

I climbed into the plane. Even if it was the exact same model as my own, it still felt different beneath my hands. I stroke the buttons, wishing they were Izuna's skin, too. Maybe, planes had souls just like humans, and what felt different was the soul of this plane as compared to my own. Even the buzzing sensation when I turned on the engine felt different compared to mine, but when I took off, it still followed my every command with speed and agility.

I flew away. Not wanting to cause an air raid alarm, I flew away from the town which we'd been assigned to, to the vast forests south of it. It was uninhabited, and the dark green of the spruces looked black against the white snow covering them.

I allowed myself to play. Flying for fun was strictly forbidden, but I didn't care. I asked the plane for loops and turns, and it obeyed me. I still felt that tug in my stomach that reminded me of my early days when I hadn't been able to handle flying. It was still there, within me, the hesitancy, and I wondered if I flew forever, would it ever go away?

After a while, I started enjoying myself. I noticed I was smiling in the loops. After a while, I was even laughing. I brought my plane nose-down diving towards the ground, and straightened it out right on time so it almost brushed the snowy tips of the trees.

"Whooooo!" I shouted as I gained speed.

This is why I should do it, I thought. This is why I should fly. Not for revenge. Not to prevent damage. But because I love it. And you can't do that in war. At least, I can't.

I imagined taking a plane, preferably my own, and flying it to that tropical beach in paradise I dreamed of, where the sand smelled of coconut and sugar, where I could be alone. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine it, despite the black and white outside the plane window. In my fantasy, I wasn't alone, but I was accompanied by a small man in long, black hair, who danced happily on the beach while I was watching, his feet splashing the water so it created waterfalls of glitter. When I opened my eyes back up, I was filled with a sense of peace...

And then, it was exchanged for dread. 

Behind me, I saw four planes flying in formation. Their model made me realise it was the enemy plane; we did not house that model.

This is bad, I remembered thinking.

I could, without a doubt, take out all four planes. I was just of that calibre. But the problem was that my plane was completely unarmed. I had chosen this particular plane because I craved speed and agility, and did not want the weight of weapons to affect that. Without the weapons, I didn't stand a chance because their planes were faster than ours.

This was a bad decision, Tobirama, I had time to think.

Then, they shot at me. My one engine exploded in a plume of gold, and then the other.

Izuna, I love you, I thought despite the panic I felt.

He said as smiling, dancing on the beach, creating beautiful splashes of water with his feet.