A/N: It's a continuation! A response to the letter before this. 

Dear you, 

you're incorrigible. Biggest scoundrel I've ever met. Unfixable, you're a brute, you're a beast. Take every sin in the world and multiply it by a million. And even then you can't close to how much of a hell-spawn you are. 

You say you're off fighting for the world, and defending everyone's honor, all your fallen brothers ticking off like a time-bomb in your head when you jump into enemy fire with a gun you were too stubborn to forget. Why? Because my colors reminded you of it? Because I reminded you of it?

In what hellish world would you imagine finding someone more than a friend, yet less than a lover?

In what nightmare would you realize that letting go of you is like letting go of a daydream?

Some sort of mantra that I'm repeating over and over and over, praying for your soul and tearing mine out of my body, cursing the grey stone walls and haunting all the parks that you used to love. Each smile that I've painted on my face is dull and so, so forgettable, unlike you. Unlovable you. Others just carries on somehow, but not me. Never me. 

I can't say I hate you, because that's a lie, and believers don't lie, no matter what. But the only faith I stole was yours, and it's running out - it's running out like time, and I can't hold it. For the sake of you, I'll guard your letters to everyone else. But I'm burning mine, because that's a growing memory you drown, not water to keep alive. And if you make it out alive, remember I'll always be yours, even if my words never were.

Just like that, I'm ready. Ready to sit with you in the trenches, march over my sanity, race you to the frontlines, bury my inhibitions. Just like that, I'm a wounded animal slowing you down with my dead weight, poison that you'd poured all over your eyes, the blood you smear across the broken land. Just like that, I'm ready to hand over my life. Just like that. 

But what will you do about it?

Nothing.

 Nothing at all. 

I'm planting victory gardens here, wasting your dignity, and you're wasting your precious time on earth on a land that's filled with curses and cries. Is death your legacy?

God forbid you ever listen even once to my heart, and how it beats for you like a sinister drum. If you die out there, I'm not letting a single teardrop fall on that damned grave. No. No, you're too pure to tarnish. You're the shining gold and I'm the colorless ribbon that shows you off. What cure is there for this disease?

So, this is farewell. This is a bitter goodbye. This is all the words that'll never reach your ears because God knows whether I'll get blown up by a mine running through the battlefield after you. You're like a waterfall gushing through my hands. Like an uncontrollable sail where your wild winds blow. And I'll pray for you, every night, burning my hands to keep the candlelight alive. Every night, some apparition will come and try to douse out the fire, whispering in my ear to forget, but I won't. Us ill-starred ones remember. 

But in the unlikely event you survive long enough to become a martyr and drop on us the weight of your misdeeds, just know I'd follow you to Hell and back. In the end, there's someone you always stand by. And I can't be the one. So look into someone's beautiful eyes, and hold their hand, and vow - VOW to them that you'll watch the stars with them, not gift it to them. There's promises so magnificent they can't ever be true. Tell them losing them is a losing battle. Tell them that mankind walks astray but you're following them in deep devotion. Convince them - convince them that you love them. Do it. If not for me, then for them. Love one another as I have loved you. Sacred. True. Tormenting. 

But cross your heart and remember me. I'm burned into destiny, only for you.

In every silence, 

us.