So... I accidentally discovered Once Upon a Time on netflix. Oops.

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**8 months later**

I guess now I should say what happened next, although I don't want to. I should describe how the bodies began to pile up, no identities, no family, and people began to be afraid. I should explain about those few outspoken survivors, stubbornly believing in someone the universe said didn't exist. I should recount the four trips me and Arthur took to the cave of the silence, each with some new innovation or idea, each as fruitless as the last. I saw three men consumed by the silence, although intuition says we began the quests with a lot more.

The white goddess protected us each time, not enough to remain conscious- each time we tried to attack the beast, we convinced ourselves we had defeated it, before either travelling to Avalon, or our loved ones returned to earth. Every time was slightly different, and every time we swallowed it without thinking. I'm not sure if that was part of the magic, or we just wanted it so desperately to be true, that we did not wake up until our entire squad were taken, and it was all we could do to get out of there alive.

We spent our days pouring over old texts, from huge volumes to the smallest scrap, our desperation rising. As did Arthur's sorrow. Although he would never admit it to me, I could tell he missed Gwen, and I could not help but hate myself for taking her from him.

Arthur hated the reading too, but me and him were the only ones who could still look at words of magic with our souls intact, so he had no choice.

"I'm a warrior!" He would rant, throwing the latest volume against the oaken table. "Made for war chambers and battlefields, not a bloody library!"

We moved the books into my place at Knighthallow: if only us could read them anyway, it didn't matter where they were. As the world fell apart around us, Arthur and I created something of a routine. Weekdays, we'd stay at the flat, and I'd teach Arthur to shoot, or become target practise for him. We'd do research, then crash on the couch for a film and popcorn. If it wasn't for the chaos, descending in tattered rags around us, I would have loved it. But the world was sickening, and it seemed we could do absolutely nothing about it.

The world population was 6 billion, wasn't it?

It was around 5 and half billion. Hadn't it always been like that?

The morgue's had long since run out of room for the bodies- it wasn't uncommon to pass corpses in the street, ghostly smiles still haunting their features. And although few were lucky enough to survive an attack, everyone one knew to be scared of the men who weren't men at all, who wore military dress, but had no faces, only a vague nightmare of twisted flesh, and wielded power beyond imagining. Far beyond my measly talents.

The 'government' was a joke. Police were more often than not the ones committing the crimes. Anarchy and blood ran through the streets like water, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Arthur's frustration continued to mount, as did my own. Before, I would have trusted in destiny, in the prophecy that promised me my vengeance and my peace, but I had learnt my lesson there. Destiny didn't care. The good guys didn't always win.

We go over the prophecy a hundred times, turning the words over, searching for new meaning.

The Pendragon, Emrys's bane
Is arisen once more
An end of Emrys's pain
A gift given fore.

A foe diminished again
The end of Silence shall forever ring
Magic, finally lies slain
And the crownless again shall be king

Arthur confesses to the White goddesses words- Emrys is magic and magic is Merlin. Paired with magic lies slain, that sounds hopeful. A small eternity was owed to me. An end of Emrys's pain. That can only mean death. Thank god.

"This is stupid!" Arthur finally snaps, leaping to his feet. He paces back and forth, as if to let loose the pent up energy held within. "There's nothing new! I can't be this 'listener', I don't even know what I'm even meant to be doing!"

"Well, you never were known for brains." I say, facing him.

"That's useful! What exactly are you doing here-"

"You are however," I push on, fighting to make myself heard. "Known for being a warrior. A hunter. And a hunter's not meant to be a researcher, or a mindless soldier. A hunter thinks. He hears the world around him, and listens to what it's saying. The answer is here in front of us, Arthur. We just need to see it."

He exhaled roughly, rubbing his forehead with both hands.

"How do you know?" He asks, so quietly I can barely make out his voice. I smile, utterly confident.

"Because I may not hold faith, or trust in destiny, but if I believe in one thing- just one thing- then I believe in you, Arthur. We will do this."

He smiles just slightly, a tender authenticity in the softness in his eyes. "Thank you. But- if I may, old friend... just one question... I left you alone for a thousand years... I put you through so much pain... how on earth can you still believe in me, after all I did?"

I get to my feet, and stand at arm's length. I stretch out a hand to rest on his shoulder. "Arthur." I say through the lump building in my throat. "I was your faithful servant for so many years, from the moment I realized that I knew you- the real you, I mean, and well. I'm not going to stop now, am I?"

"I-"

I continue before he can interrupt me, needing to say the words so long in mind. "If you don't believe in yourself, then, believe in me. And know that I trust you completely. For you, Arthur- for you I have waited a thousand years. For you I would wait a thousand more."

There is a moment of silence, until Arthur reaches out and yanks me into an unexpected hug.

"Thank you." He murmurs into my ear. He pulls away, already wearing an embarrassed grimace, and a fierce blush. I grin though, and he smiles back involuntarily.

By evening Arthur has a brainwave- I can see it, in the dark light at the back of his eyes, in the set of his stooped shoulders. I press him for information, but he holds his laconism, only telling me that we're going back to the silence cave, and not to bring any reinforcements. Frustrated, I shout after him, but he ignores me. I know it's something bad- I see it in his eyes, but I don't know what to do; how to make it better.

As I pack supplies, I notice that a bottle of whiskey is absent from the cupboard. Panicking a little inside, I knock on Arthur's door, and am rewarded by a muffled "go'way!" The door is locked- not that that would provide much of an obstacle, I know. So does Arthur though, and I realize it is not a defence- it is a show of faith. He trusts me not to intrude on him, and I of all people understand the need for privacy. Yet I also understand solitude is not always the sanctuary it promises.

I open the door with a murmured word, and step inside. Ignoring Arthur's protests, I pull him from the table where he is slumped, cradling an empty glass, and onto the four poster bed I got for him. He struggles a little, but is no match for me in his state. I sit him against the backboard, then as his eyelids droop closed, sit beside him, not quite touching. I remain there all night, keeping watch, letting the sands of the hourglass slip between my fingertips, and hating every second of it. Tomorrow, our knife edge will have tilted. We will win, or we will lose. Either way, finally, it will be over.

The next morning, Arthur keeps his silence, and doesn't explain either his epiphany or his actions, as shameless as ever. I do catch him looking at me oddly though- as if- how had he put it... as if I was going to disappear. As if I was about to dissipate into ashes. Somehow, I can't quite bring myself to comment on it.

I had taught Arthur to ride a quad bike a few months ago, so we make good time, and reach the cave by late afternoon. As we had the very first time, we make a temporary camp a half mile away, to plan, and for Arthur to finally divulge the information he had been keeping.

"Merlin... when the silences were first brought into reality... the witches needed something of equal power to bring something so dark into this world. So the most powerful witch gave up her life- a blood sacrifice."

"Yeah, and?" Somewhere, deep inside my mind, I feel hope beginning to build.

"To destroy the silence... another is needed." I smile, involuntarily.

"Merlin- I know I always said that I- why the hell are you smiling?"

I shrug, still grinning. "Cause this is what's meant to be. I can feel it."

"I don't want to hurt you!" He says with an edge of despair.

I shove at his shoulder, no attempt at gentleness. "Arthur, I've been ready for this for a very long time. I've never been able to die- no one's ever been able to kill me. For all I know subconsciously I've always wanted to be here when you woke up. Now? Maybe I can get my utopia. So hurry up and bloody kill me already." I don't tell him what I already know- that the only reason I can die now is that I'm already dead- that I died the moment Alaric left this world, and created a reality in which I was stabbed. No-one who has been touched by a blade forged in a dragons breath can survive.

Instead of unsheathing Excalibur, he pulls out a another weapon from his belt; a small plain dagger, with a blade no bigger than my hand, and weighs it in his palm.

"Don't we have to be closer to it or something?" I ask. Not because I am at all eager to be reintroduced to the silence, but sorcerers aren't exactly ten a penny anymore, and we're not going to have another shot at this.

"I don't know. Christ, its not everyday you have to-" his voice cracks, and he squeezes his eyes shut.

I let him keep his silence, not knowing how to comfort him.

"It's not fair." He says, muffled beneath his hands. "Why do you have to go? I mean, for all I talk about it, I don't want to- I don't want you to-"

"Hey, this isn't goodbye." I say, prying his fingers from his face. "I'll see you again. When this world is safe, we can find our Avalon. You'll have Gwen, and I'll have my Annette, and we'll be with all those we've lost and it will be okay and we will find our Avalon. I promise. And you know I keep my promises." I cannot explain the utter faith I have in this moment. I know these facts, in every pore and atom of my body. I am complete, here, now. I will see Arthur again. Because Alaric may have been my brother, but Arthur is my mirror. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot lose your reflection.

The blade has fallen from Arthur's hand: I pick it up, then fold his fingers around it. I position the blade against my heart, the tip just grazing the bottom of my collarbone. I lock eyes with Arthur; his hunted, and fierce, my own completely clear.

"Why can't I follow you?" He asks desperately, pulling back the blade. I am already shaking my head.

"Arthur, you have to pick up the pieces." With a sudden flash of intuition, the last piece of the puzzle falls into place. "In fact-you need you to lead. The wolf house will require new royalty. And it may not be Buckingham palace, but it's close enough. The crownless again shall be king. This world needs you, Arthur. And I wish I could be there beside you, but I can't. And I'm sorry for that."

Robbed of his sarcasm, Arthur can only protest with raw honesty. "The world needs you, too." He chokes out. I smile a broken smile.

"It needs you more." I can feel the winds of change burning against my skin. My day is done; and the clock is striking twelve.

"You know, when I thought about dying, I always thought it would be a good day. A day of rest, the first of many, hopefully. But now that it's here... hell, all I can think is that I don't want to leave you. I'm sorry Arthur, but this is for the best." Ignoring the tears, rising unbidden from my eyes, and the hurt, drilling through my gut, I close the distance between us, and hug Arthur tight, one last time. I take the knife in my heart as I do.

Arthur yanks backwards, staring in horror at the blood coating his dagger.

"Merlin- God- no- Merlin!" He cries out, pulling my limp body across his lap. Dragon fire scorches through my veins like poison. Through the inferno, I try to focus my eyes on Arthur's face: I want it to be the last thing I see.

"Merlin- Merlin no!"

I open my mouth to speak, and blood bubbles between my lips.

"Ar- Arthur- you will rebuild this world. Just- just trust in yourself."

"No there has to be another way. Stay with me- stay- that's an order you idiot!"

Through the haze of pain, I reach a hand and clasp it behind Arthur's neck, haunted by the parallels. I need to say it though.

"Don't ever change... alright dollophead? I will find you, I will wait. We will find our Avalon." Tears escaping through his eyes, Arthur shaky unclasps the Pendragon cloak from his shoulders, and drapes it over mine, tucking it around my torso. I manage a smile, and try to keep my vision remain locked on Arthur's face, on the tousled hair and blue eyes, until it all fades into black. Then sounds fades too, and I can no longer hear the wind howling across my lifeless body, or Arthur, crying his pain to the world.

~~~~~~

Normally, when I use magic, it is a fire, raising me on the majesty of the flames. Incandescent and free, it builds and illuminates me at the same time. This is different. This is very different. Instead of power, trickling through my veins like liquid sunlight, it is a weapon. Light tears from my body, ripping through flesh and bone, pure power wrenching from my soul. It splays in all directions, avoiding Arthur, who has scrambled back in shock. It radiates across the moor, a few rays venturing into the cave of the silence. From the strangled screams, I know it found its mark, and the silence is dead. Like satellites the others would have perished as well. My work is done.

The light doesn't stop there, though: it carries on, beaming across the country. It enters every child being born that day- every baby born on or around 29th October, 2015 was infused with a remnant of my power- and hundreds of sorcerers were created.

I fade from the mortal world, once I see my- Arthur's- work come to fruition. I search for one more look at him, and am granted a glimpse; he is staring in wonder at the light surrounding him, a small, broken smile on his face. I commit the image to memory, trying to recall every green and grey, blue and red, all the remains of the world I will be able to take with me.

~~~~~~

When I reach consciousness, I am in a room with plain white walls, and a beige carpet. Suspicion building, I slowly get to my feet, looking around as I do. Not very heaven-y. I think to myself. Where was Robin and Annette and Gwen and Nickolai and Little John, as well as so many others here to welcome me home? I know I have no reason to think they even remember me, let alone hold me in any regard, but none the less, it will be good to see them again.

At the far end of the room, an ordinary door stands at my height. Swallowing as I do, I tentatively pull it open a fraction. A vortex like the heart of a storm greets me, grey storm clouds whirling in a portal. Resignation within me, I slam it shut. To whatever heavens that's going, whatever place its going, I'm in no heaven there alone, I'm no place without him.

It seems there is nothing for it. I summon a chair- apparently I have enough residual magic left for that, and sit down. Wherever I end up, I plan to never be separate from him again. Together, we will step into the unknown, and it will be known with a familiar face beside me.

So instead of meeting my friends, I do what I've always done: I summon up a good book, kick my feet back, and settle in to wait for my king.