❝You are the greatest gift God has ever given. My one and only. And I want you to have children...not so much, but I want you to happy. And I'm sorry I ever forced you into marrying your best friend. From now on, you don't have to be a Doppelganger. You are free.❞
- Mebuki to Sakura

TTU S05E46

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* P L A Y S O N G *

Konohagakure: The Village of Many Tales. A colorful mist wraps our cities with a fog, like we belong in an unsolved crime scene, a slowly creeping mystery.

Everywhere I go, I finally see a Mito Uzumaki in me. A red-headed woman, whose purpose was still unknown, but she cradled the Nine-tails like a baby, everyone said. In the old days, Hashirama sold the tailed-beasts to the other Nations as a treaty of peace. But Mito was hesitant; she wanted to keep all beasts to herself. I like knowing history. You connect with the people who lived before you, whose markings will now surround you.

Looking back, Konoha has always been a puzzle piece. The stories, the warped pictures, the remains of a certain memory...Even when you look into a Shinobi's eyes, there's always that mantra:

--what do you live for?

--why do you survive?

--what are you fighting for?

"What do you want, Sakura? Tell me."

"Freedom, sensei. I want my freedom. Sasuke showed me what all of it was like."

I sit on top of the balcony, watching our small village turn prodigious, an addition of 5 kilometers that surprised us this morning. Cherry Blossom Festival and I wake up to flowers with the color of my hair raining, as if saying, Things will be better. Good things come to those who wait. I catch one with a palm, thinking how Captain Yamato must have been harvesting for month of Sundays.

Sakura Season is like Christmas Morning distributed for two weeks. For thirteen days, the village is expected to spend their remote time outside for picnics, festivities and romance. The time of the year where those who've had a deepened mystery in the past should let go. The best part is the evenings where fireworks weren't usual--they lit the night skies like candles. The vendors have ordered fresh food that won't be for sale when the season is over. The invitation is grand, the tag line inspiring every Ninja, every outsider, even Rogue-nin to come and celebrate our temporary prosperity.

The gates fly open. Just like that, an entire colony of time travelers will now mark our territory. The two reasons I slip into the shadows is because (1) this is the Honorable Clan's way of firing up the Harvest, and (2) I am not rehearsed yet. I still have my legs sore from that night my body's temperature burned. The night after that, I wasn't pure anymore.

I slept with Uchiha Sasuke on TenTen's eighteenth birthday. Drunk yet conscious, we made love that night, and the thing lasted like paradise. I was his and he was mine. Sasuke smelled like alcohol, but his perfume never wavered: he smelled like lavender and rain. All the more reason I had to give in. My love for him that has never gone away.

I wore a black dress the whole day. Black skirt, black tube Ino gave me last Christmas for seducing missions. They'd come in handy. Now, I go out into my balcony and face the sun in a different angle--slowly, I was weeping. The flowers he gave me, now withered in the living room. Cherry Blossom is dead. I am dead.

T⃟H⃟E⃟ T⃟H⃟I⃟R⃟D⃟ U⃟C⃟H⃟I⃟H⃟A⃟

DARK SAKURA

I will come back for you, at the right time, and at the right place.

"Bullshit."

"What did you just say?"

I guess I haven't been in the house more often, my mother never catches a word out of me. Our house is a fine, prosaic apartment. Upstairs, you'll see a room where in the bed sits next to the transparent sliding door--and before that, the dressers, where I store an important treasure: Team Seven. Also, Sasuke's headband has been with me throughout the years--I just keep it, something to put before his coffin in case if I'd learned he passed away.

A lame mumble comes out of my mouth. "Nothing."

"Good girl." Mebuki says. "Well, go upstairs and dress properly. Don't you have work to do?"

"Meh, I'm taking a break from the hospital."

"Goodness gracious...it's that what this is about? You look sick, Sakura! Sick! I told you not to overdo it." Mother wipes the table in a hurry, her wrinkled hands faded and soft. "It's okay to try, sweetie, but we're not them. We don't possess that kind of Jutsu."

"Mom, being Ninja is not about the bloodline. It's what you contribute in battle that counts."

"You think I don't know? Sakura, your dad and I were here before any of you kids arrived. If it were that easy, who knows? Kizashi would have been the Hokage."

"Well, you didn't try hard enough." I spat. It's injustice that up until now, people see no difference with Shinobi who've worked hard to mark their own path. Lee is Ninjutsu-free but look at him now: a guy who almost broke his legs but didn't resist fighting. TenTen was orphaned, transferred in the Leaf with an unknown history, so she made her own. An admirable one--it was just the beginning.

"Fine. It seems that you choose living up to your reputation than family, after all. What did I expect? I brought you up, took you in a Ninja Academy. I wanted you to learn how to defend yourself. From all the world's evil."

"Where is this all coming from?"

"Sakura, you're already sixteen...haven't you ever considered signing a resignation--"

"You're asking me to give up my Ninja heritage???"

"Look at you, using that tone on me. 'Thou shall honor thy mother and father.' You don't come home like you used to. I know that you're a medic and that it's your job to help others, but you can't even make yourself feel better. There's always vomit in the toilet, you go around the house like you're hallucinating, sometimes I even wonder if you died in your sleep."

"I'm fine, I'm just tired. Mom, you have to believe me."

"Maybe it's time for us to move on..."

My mother sweeps her wrinkled hands into the plate, carefully, full of heavy duty. I catch her blink her eyes to prevent herself from tearing.

"Momma?"

"What, Sakura? Do you enjoy seeing me like this?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course. I won't tell your dad."

"If I tell you, promise not to cry?"

"Kami, Sakura. Kami, Kami, you can go on. Tell me. Do you have something in your chest?"

"I have a Cardiovascular disease. My tissues are damaged. Coronary Artery Disease. You've heard of it?" You can tell that a person is lying when they can't look at you, straightforward in the eye. The whole time, my fingers were restlessly fiddling. "My heart is failing. I can't tell until when will I last, but if you let me heal, I promise by the end of the year it'd be gone--"

"My poor baby girl!" Mebuki locked me in her chest, kissed the top of my head again. And again. "If you'd just listened to me, how this job was affecting you...oh, my sweet girl."

I wanted to protest with the it's-not-about-being-a-Ninja debate, but I was caught up in her arms, like I'd just been born yesterday. And I hadn't recalled the last time she did this to me, considering the dry conversations we had (Sakura, take off your socks, Sakura, clean up your stupid mess). Today was seven minutes in heaven. I hugged back, as if I had a choice.

"Promise me you'll heal, okay baby? You're a fighter. You've survived your battles, and I need you to stay alive. I'll give you anything you want after you make it out of this, cancer-free." She pulls away, slides a hand into my cheek. "You are the greatest gift God has ever given. My one and only. And I want you to have children...not so much, but I want you to happy. And I'm sorry I ever forced you into marrying your best friend. From now on, you don't have to be a Doppelganger. You are free."

My eyes sparkled in amazement. Mother asked, "Isn't that what you've always wanted?" And I said, "Thank you." Yes, that's all I ever wanted.

I had my first heart-attack when I was seven, two years after we just moved in the big village. Ever since I was in my mother's womb, the doctor always said I wasn't tightly coiled in her uterus. My heart could easily have given in, but still I fought my way back. Several years later, I successfuly licked heart disease with posivity. Whenever I think of my life, it's like a replay of merriment and endless rythym of joy.

My mother didn't even inquire about the basics. How a proper me could have possibly been infected with this kind of disease, a life-killer. Heartburn, depression and alcohol, I had it all organized on a yellow clean sheet. A good actress and assembler I was. Whenever I came up with a lie, I always secured myself with a strong back story. Logic and reasoning. How I got depressed with the fact that Sasuke was gone, I was willing to admit that to my mother, opening to her for the first time, yet she bought all of it with a bunch of scripted words. She didn't doubt me for a second. Like she didn't even know me. She couldn't see through her daughter's lies.

You lied to Momma. Well played.

"My dad would kill me if he knew someone touched me and I let that happen. Mother would have had a heart attack. I'll tell them soon, Inner, I promise."

When, exactly?

"When you disappear and let me be."

I must've forgotten that there is a guardian angel that's been watching me. Inner Sakura crosses her arms, her green eyes darker and majestic. Kakashi's bed is enough to make her sit next to me. I'm awake to make sure she doesn't strangle me to death. Inner Sakura, unlike me, is attracted to the dark--wears all black like a raven's feathers: dark tube, a pair of tight jeans that hugged her inviting ass. No Leaf Headband, just a messy bun--for substantial killing, I guess. There was a Ruby ring she wrapped in a necklace, and it sparked the eclipse within her.

She looked at me, like I had just severed a body part.

You can never make me go away. I'll always be here, right inside your head. I'm the real you.

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THE THIRD UCHIHA
11.21.15
Vomment :--)
If you've been wondering, I was inspired by all of Gillian Flynn's books. I apologize for some other errors.