There were good times and there were ugly ones. We would want to hold on to the good memories while we went through the ugly experiences but it was very difficult. When you were going through hell, it was almost impossible to remember that there was a heaven.

We brought the ugly times upon us. Not knowingly. But every action we took brought us closer to doomsday.

Be careful of the things you do, kids.

◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ - ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈

Timi and Zehan were the last ones to walk into the Chemistry laboratory. Timi had missed the Physics practical class he'd wanted to attend but he was right on time for Chemistry.

Everyone was putting on their lab coats since Mr. Tim, the Chemistry teacher had made it compulsory. The lab was big enough to accommodate nearly forty science students but apparatus was what they lacked.

"You're finally going to do the titration experiment I explained last time," Mr. Tim announced, "so pair up because we don't have enough equipments. Someone should help me get the rest of the beakers."

While the middle aged man fetched the dusty beakers from the cupboard underneath one of large tables used for practicals, the students moved around and claimed their partners.

Amira made a beeline to where Timi was standing but just as she got to him, he was also walking over to Annika Malan.

Ironically, just as Timi had gotten to Annika's right hand side, Dele equally appeared on her left.

For a moment Annika didn't notice that the Head Boy and Deputy Head Boy were standing on both her sides, glaring at each other. She was too busy setting up her retort stand in front of her to notice.

Amira felt like she would run mad as she stood at the spot where Timi had unknowingly left her, watching as he and Dele silently fought over Annika. She didn't even feel like crying because she was too furious. Amira felt like she could grab her retort stand and crack Annika's head open with it.

When Annika noticed the two boys standing next to her, she turned to Dele on her left and turned to Timi on her right with a clueless expression, at first.

Dele averted his gaze from Timi and wore a warm smile as he turned to Annika. "Hey, lemme help you with that," he said as he began helping Annika tighten burette into the burette clamp.

She opened her mouth to speak but Timi spoke up first. "We can do the experiment together."

"She already has a partner," Dele snapped at Timi, sending him a deadly glare as he was still mindlessly placing the burette properly.

Annika gave both boys a quizzical look before she cleared her throat and clasped her hands together. "Yes, Timi, I do have a partner."

"I told you," Dele quickly said to Timi with a smirk lingering on his lips.

Timi adjusted his glasses as he tried to hide the disappointed look on his face. He felt so humiliated.

While Dele was basking in his victory and Timi in humiliation, they didn't noticed that Annika had left them until they heard her call, "CJ! What are you doing there? C'mon, this titration isn't going to do itself!"

That got the attention of the entire class and murmurs filled the large room.

Dele looked like he was going to die. Timi would've laughed at the look on Dele's face if only he wasn't shocked himself at the fact that Annika had just chosen CJ Ikem of all people to be her lab partner.

The mixed boy with healing bruises on his face stood on the other side of room, trying to see how many of his fingers could fit into the conical flask before Annika had yelled his name. With the surprised look on CJ's face as the entire class started at him in silence to see his next move, Timi could tell that Annika hadn't paired with him before hand. She had just done that at the moment to get rid of him and Dele. She probably didn't want to choose one of them over the other, so why not pick the snobby, class thief who nobody wanted to pair with?

Everyone watched as the light-skinned boy turned around just to make sure that Annika had been referring to him and not another CJ he didn't know about.

Some people chuckled at that ridiculous action including Ahmed who was sitting on a stool on the far end of the lab. "Canada, you mumu eeh!"

Annika ignored the stares and whispers as she raised her perfectly shaped, thin eyebrows at CJ as if to ask, "What are you waiting for?"

He looked reluctant but CJ made his way to Annika just as Dele turned around and went back to Ahmed who smiled sheepishly and mockingly at his friend before patting him on the back.

Timi left as well when Annika brought CJ over to her stand. The entire class was still watching.

"Do you have a partner?" Timi asked Amira when he returned to his former position and found her standing there.

Amira wanted to snap at him and tell him that she actually did have a partner and that she wasn't going to be his Plan B when Plan A-nnika didn't work out.

But she didn't say any of that. She just swallowed and faked a smile. "No, I don't."

Timi smiled genuinely, touching his glasses again. "Okay, then. Let's do this."

Mr. Tim, with the help of the Chemistry lab prefect, was finally done rinsing the beakers and after he'd distributed them, everyone began doing the experiment even of some people like Ahmed simply watched their partners do all the work. Ahmed watched Dele but they both knew Ahmed would get bored soon.

Timi noticed the scowl on his partner's face and her sour mood as they slowly carried out the experiment. Over the course of their English project they had gotten to know each other a little and Timi thought Amira looked exactly the way she looked when he had told her that he wasn't going to do the debate because he was afraid of stuttering and messing it up. It was still a miracle that Timi hadn't stuttered that day but he still had to keep his points short. He didn't want to test his luck.

So he had to ask, "You've been very moody today, what's the problem?"

Amira had been sucking base with the pipette and before she could reply Timi, she removed her mouth from the top of the pipette and placed her thumb there. The base solution had reached the calibration.

She thought about Timi's question and realized that it sounded like he'd been watching her since the race to know that she had been moody all day. "I'm just tired," she lied, letting the base sip into the conical flask.

"Sorry," Timi mumbled before grabbed the small bottle of methyl orange and added a drop to the solution. "You didn't sleep well?"

Amira shrugged. "Something like that."

Mr. Tim walked around, supervising what the students were doing. "Ensure you take the readings correctly, please," he announced. When he got to Zehan and Charles' stand, he frowned and yelled to the whole class, "some people don't know what they are doing!"

Zehan and Charles rolled their eyes at the same time before Zehan went back to dumping drops upon drops of methyl orange into their solution. Unfortunately, since nobody would pair up with either of them, they both didn't know what they were even supposed to do.

"Can someone remind me what I said number of moles meant?" the Chemistry teacher asked out loud. He was standing in akimbo in front of the whiteboard.

Amira immediately raised her hand and just when the teacher was about to ask her to speak, another voice beat her to it.

"The number of mole of any element is the reacting mass of the element divided by the molar mass of the element." Heads turned towards Annika. The teacher smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

Amira clenched her teeth and glared at Annika.

"Or compound," Amira corrected.

Annika turned to Amira, looking confused. "What?"

"Element or compound," Amira said much more audibly, the girl eyeing one other from their respective stands adjacent to each other.

"It's the same thing." Annika gave a look as though what Amira was trying to point out was irrelevant.

"Elements and compounds are not the same thing," Amira snapped, "I thought you were smart?"

The class exploded. Whispers, exclamations, whistling everywhere.

"Excuse me?" Annika looked surprised herself as the other girl glared at her.

Timi almost couldn't believe. It looked like Amira had always been waiting to attack the Head Girl.

"You heard me."

Annika looked alarmed at Amira's audacity and she took a step towards her but didn't proceed further because CJ had stopped her? He subtly held her wrist and many people hadn't noticed but still...

Annika still seemed annoyed nonetheless. "Hold up, what's your name again?"

Amira was shocked and felt insulted when Annika had asked her name. It was the way you asked "What's this supposed to be?" when you saw something disgusting and irrelevant. But it genuinely looked like Annika actually didn't remember or even know her name. What the...

People had abandoned their work and began chattering and anticipating on how Annika Malan would react to this insult.

"Come! That's enough- " the Chemistry made an attempt to quiet down the class but then someone started coughing and heads turned again.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Dele exclaimed as he hit Ahmed's back. Ahmed was coughing and gagging like his life depended on it.

"What happened?"

"He swallowed the the base!" Dele yelled to whoever had asked the question.

Some people began laughing and others looked concerned. Ahmed had bent over and veins popped out on his forehead as he coughed and hit his chest while Dele did the same to his back. He hadn't just swallowed base solution, he was choking on it.

Mr. Tim rushed over to the boys and yelled for someone to get water.

"He was sucking the base too fast..." Dele was explaining to the people like who cared to know including Amira and Annika who had forgotten about their potential confrontation just a minute ago.

Timi hid his smile as he thought about how stupid Ahmed was that he sucked base as if he'd been sipping apple juice.

"It's called karma, bitch." Timi turned to see Zehan who was now standing next to him. They were the only ones who hadn't ran off to get the full gist and see how Ahmed was doing.

Timi smiled turned to a grin. And he fist bumped Zehan when Zehan initiated it.

• • •

"You'll be at Nina's house for her birthday, right?" Zehan asked Timi as they walked out of the Chemistry lab with the rest of the students. Timi thought everyone looked like medical doctors with the way they were all sashaying with their lab coats still on.

Timi turned to Zehan. He still didn't get why his cousin called their grandmother Nina, it wasn't even her name to begin with and honestly, Timi thought Zehan would've dropped that pet name a long time ago.

"Yeah, I still call her Nina," Zehan replied with a 'duh' look to the unasked question. Timi thought Zehan had read his mind but the Head Boy's expression had given him all away. "It's better than grandma." Zehan visibly cringed and Timi chuckled.

"I'll be there," Timi finally replied as they went down the stairs leading to their floor, "my mom made it clear that attendance is a do or die affair."

Zehan smiled. "It always is,"

Timi was happy seeing his cousin smiling and looking fine at least. He would never forget the way Zehan looked in that hospital bed after his second suicide attempt. The second attempt had particularly shook the whole family because it was the second time, and the fact that he had done it at their grandmother's house? The old woman nearly ran mad. She never said it out loud but Zehan had always been her favorite grandchild for some reason. He still was and everyone knew it.

Maybe it was because he looked just like her.

"When last did you speak to her?" Timi asked, "I mean grandma."

"Oh," Zehan paused, they were now standing in the busy SS 2 hallway. "We haven't spoken since... I came back."

Timi nodded slowly in understanding. If he was the one who had taken all the woman's sleeping pills and have her find him nearly lifeless, he would also he hesitant in speaking with her again.

Besides, Timi couldn't imagine how Zehan was holding up. Everyone in the family had heard about Aunt Monica and Uncle Raheem's separation and though they hadn't finalized the divorce, they weren't living together anymore. They had been through hell hell the previous year having one child being accused of killing their other one and then that only remaining child trying to take his own life. Everyone saw the divorce coming.

But how was Zehan holding up? The way he acted like everything was all roses, rainbows and unicorns at school scared Timi. He had seen an ugly, miserable and depressed side of Zehan on that hospital bed and back then, Timi was almost sure his cousin would never coming back from it.

Seeing Zehan looking fine meant he'd come back from that horrible place but it could also mean that his cousin was a fricking good actor.

"Hey," Zehan began saying before Timi realized they had been standing in a comfortable silence all the while, "you are fucking good looking, don't let them tell you any other shit."

Timi's eyebrows creased in confusion for a moment before he realized Zehan was referring to what had happened earlier in the storeroom. So he knew about what they'd said about his body.

"I mean, dry bones like us are wishing to add weight. You're not even close to fat or obese or...anything like that," Zehan chuckled at his own joke. "I'm serious though, it's people like you that look intimidating and confident. You just have to know it and feel that way."

When they both realized Timi was tongue tied, Zehan patted him on the shoulder and walked away.

Timi stood there as two words kept resounding in his head.

Intimidating and confident.

• • •

It was almost impossible to imagine that some students in Newland Secondary didn't have money for lunch. With the way everyone carried themselves, you'd think they all came from the Upper Ring of the estate- the abode for mansions that could only exist in magazines and cars only seen in music videos.

But the truth was that only very few students like Dele, Annika and Kasy were privileged enough to live there. Those people had money. And as Amira thought about it, that was probably the more reason why the school had picked them as Head Prefects. If Newland Secondary alone was a company, Annika's father would single-handedly own seventy percent of the shares.

Timi was only made Head Boy because Dele had been unfortunate at that time, one incident had caused him that office. And it wasn't like the Disemis weren't well-to-do either. They owned the only church in the estate and even though they lived in the Middle Ring, their duplex stood out amongst the apartment buildings and business plazas in the area.

Amira knew that was probably the more reason why she couldn't like Annika, because while Amira tried to ignore the rumbling of her stomach as she flipped pages of notes, Annika sat in a circle with her clique eating the best of everything the canteen had to offer.

That was the reason Ahmed never complained about being hungry in school. If Dele didn't cover his lunch, then Annika would. The same went for Enock and Sola, they all ate off Dele and Annika like the parasites they were.

Amira hadn't noticed she'd been glaring at the clique positioned in front row of the class until her stomach made that loud irritating noise again and then followed a headache.

She knew the hunger had gone up another level whenever the headache started. She couldn't take it any longer. It was particularly bad that day since her breakfast had vanished after the race. On a normal day she wouldn't have been that hungry.

Amira decided she had to ask Ahmed for money. She didn't think he would have any but in case he might've gotten some from his friends, she was badly in need of it. But she wasn't going to walk up there to him. She would just wait for a chance and quietly pull him aside. She didn't want to face Annika, or any of them for that matter.

So when she caught Ahmed's eye, she held his gaze for awhile and she watched as he excused himself from his friends and began making his way to her seat.

Amira was surprised that old trick still worked. Amira and Ahmed might not have been the typical twins with weird, silent communication, but once upon a time they had this way of letting one other know when they needed their help.

Maybe it was all weird, silent communication after all.

"Do you like...have any money with you?" Amira got up and faced her brother squarely when he'd gotten to her. "I'm so hungry today."

Amira watched as her brother felt his side and breast pockets before looking back at her with a sorry look. She knew he had known he wasn't with money but he just had to still check his pockets.

"Make I get Pepsi and chin chin for you, we get-" Ahmed was saying before his sister cut him off.

"No, no, no, don't bother," she said. "I just remembered...there's biscuit in my bag," Amira lied. There were no biscuits in her bag, she had been referring to the biscuit wrapper from the previous day which she had left in her bag for some reason.

"Okay," replied Ahmed before turning around and heading back to his friends. Even he knew that Amira was a prideful person and she would never accept whatever he wanted to get for her knowing it was courtesy of her rival, Annika Malan.

She couldn't imagine Ahmed going over there and grabbing some of the snacks on their table while his friends watched as he walked over and handed them to her.

It wasn't like any of them would protest, they loved Ahmed, but at the end of the day, it was just pride. And shame considering she was about to pick a fight with the person who had bought all that food. And envy, because Annika was comfortable and would never be in Amira's situation.

Amira's stomach grumbled a cry for help in protest as she watched Ahmed head back to his friends.

She had another option.

Tari.

• • •

The Art class was always like some sort of carnival whenever you stepped in there during lunch break or free periods. Students dancing at a corner, boys engaged in arm wrestling, those who sang for the dancers, those making videos, the SS 2 Art class had it all. Amira nearly even bumped into a boy who was juggling puff puff. The boy had about five of them rolling in the air as he put up a show for anyone who cared to watch. Amira wondered if he'd still eat that after his circus act.

Tari sat at her desk in the third row, her legs crossed under the table, earphones plugged in- since she never came to school without her phone- while she drew a hibiscus flower on the sketch pad on her lap. She looked like she was in her element and she looked peaceful while in it.

Amira could bet she was listening to SMA by Nasty C. That was her go to song whenever she was drawing whatever strange thing she found interesting. Today it was a hibiscus flower, tomorrow it would be a rabbit.

She looked up and saw Amira standing in front of her before pulling out her earphones. She didn't say anything, she waited for Amira to explain why she was standing there like a ghost.

"You still can't be angry with me," Amira finally mumbled after withstanding Tari's cold stare.

"I'm not angry with you," Tari shrugged.

"If you weren't, you wouldn't be saying it like that," Amira deadpanned.

Tari made to put her earphones back on as though Amira didn't have anything important to say. And maybe she didn't.

"Look, I'm sorry if I upset you during the debate, it wasn't my intention- "

"Liar," Tari cut her off.

"What?"

"Liar," Tari repeated, expressionless. Amira's chest tightened. "You're lying, it was your intention."

"What are you even saying?" Amira tried defending herself.

Tari adjusted on her seat and turned to face the girl standing before her properly. "I got home and I began thinking... Maybe it was just a debate, you were just trying to prove a point. But then, the way you'd looked at me...it was like you found me...disgusting, irritating. Maybe you were not in support of what I did, I get that but you should have just talked to me- "

"Tari, what the hell are you even saying?! I've always supported you!" Amira's was starting to raise her voice.

Tari whispered. "Yes, but you started seeing me differently after you found out I was...pregnant."

Amira barely heard the last word. She was dumbfounded.

Amira didn't say anything because she was shocked at the accusation, instead she'd kept quiet because she started to wonder if the accusation was true. Had she started seeing Tari differently after she announced that she was pregnant and Amira realized her friend wasn't the virgin she had thought she was?

She knew Tari well and knew Tari had boyfriends and stuff but the thought of sex and every other thing Amira hadn't done yet might've made her feel uncomfortable when the pregnancy had confirmed that Tari had done those things.

Tari swallowed and nodded once with her arms folded across her chest. Amira's silence had said a thousand things.

Looking down at the floor, Amira breathed out. She was tired of denying and defending herself. She knew her feelings towards her friend wasn't straight, it was all jumbled up. And there was no way they could keep being friends if she wasn't going to sort out her feelings.

Envy. Resentment. Disappointment. Grudges.

Those weren't feelings that friends had towards each. And as Amira looked up at Tari, she saw it in her eyes. They'd come to an understanding.

Maybe this wasn't the healthiest of friendships. That was it.

It didn't seem like ither of them were going to speak anytime soon but they were pulled out of their thoughts when a petite girl, a junior student, appeared in between them with a small black nylon bag in her hands.

She faced Tari. "Senior, Senior Ahmed asked me to give this to you," the girl announced before dropping the bag on Tari's desk. You could already see the bottle of Coke poking out from the top.

"Oh..." Tari trailed but the junior student didn't wait for any other thing before leaving. "I didn't even ask for this," Tari mumbled but she was smiling as she peeked into the food in the bag. She might've even forgotten Amira was standing there.

Amira left Tari's class afterwards. Just like that. That was it.

• • •

Timi didn't like the long line at the school canteen and he never sent junior students to get his snacks ever since he'd overheard two of them actively planning on how they would one day poison Ahmed Yusuf the next time he sent them on canteen errands.

That had been weeks ago and in as much as he knew the juniors wouldn't actually do such a thing, the idea disturbed him. He wasn't cruel to juniors the way Ahmed was anyway so they wouldn't plan his demise like that. But still, he didn't want to take his chances.

So it was a quite a sight seeing the Head Boy of all seniors at the canteen. Every other senior, including the good for nothing SS 1s sent juniors on such errands. It was rare to see a senior at the canteen. The least the juniors could do was let their Head Boy cut in line whenever he got there.

Timi went in as usual, got what he needed and came out with a satisfied smile on his face. His smile slowly disappeared when he saw Amira sitting at what the students called 'the lounge'. It was just a small area close to the canteen set out with benches arranged to form a rectangle. The catch was the fact that there was a canopy made of waterproof PVC which blocked out the sun.

Amira sat on one of the benches facing the canteen with her hands mounted on her knees to support her chin. She'd told Timi she was tired earlier and now she definitely looked tired. But what Timi didn't know was that hunger had joined the equation.

"Hey, why are you looking like your children have all been abducted?" Timi joked as he took a seat next to her.

She didn't respond but she definitely took the bag of popcorn he had offered her. Before Timi could blink, she had already torn it open and began devouring it.

Timi chuckled before uncapping his Sprite and taking a sip.

"Thanks a lot," Amira managed to say with a mouthful of popcorn. She could feel her stomach singing hallelujah.

"No problem," Timi replied, still looking amused at the way Amira stuffed popcorn into her mouth while he slowly ate his potatoes chips.

"She likes you too." Tari's voice echoed in Timi's head and he didn't know why it had chosen that moment.

Timi didn't know if what Tari had said was true and he wasn't even sure if he liked Amira the way his sister had been implying it. He knew he had a crush on Annika, that was certain. But then, maybe he did like Amira that way.

While they had worked together on their debate, Timi realized that Amira was very organized, serious minded, smarter than she's given credit for and very beautiful too. In fact, that was basically the things he liked about Annika. Amira and Annika were more alike than anyone would think.

But Annika didn't like him that way, that was obvious. She'd rather be with Dele who was her match. And even if she and Dele didn't work out, she seemed to be recently taking a liking to CJ Ikem, which was more than Timi could say for himself.

Amira finished the popcorn and Timi offered her his chocolate cookies since she still looked hungry. She even sipped from his Sprite and nearly choked from the force of which she'd taken it.

They both laughed when Timi recalled how Ahmed had swallowed and nearly on choked base solution earlier that day.

"He's so foolish!" Amira said in between laughter.

"And dumb," Timi added.

"And a noisemaker,"

"And still dumb,"

Their laughter doubled.

Strangely, making fun of Ahmed in his absence with his own sister went well with chocolate cookies. Timi had actually said that to Amira and she cackled once more in laughter.

"But, do you know what would actually go well with these cookies?" Amira asked after her laughter died down. She was holding up a cookie.

"What?"

"Ice cream!"

"Hmm," Timi tilted his head to the side as he thought of what that combination would taste like.

"Trust meq, it would be great!" Amira was gleefully adamant. Timi thought maybe she was high on sugar. Sugarhigh.

"Have you tried it before?" he asked her.

"Yes!"

"Really? Where?"

"In the dream!" she exclaimed and they both doubled up in laughter.

They didn't even notice that people were looking at them like they were both crazy. And they definitely did not hear the bell signalling the end of lunch break as students began going into their classes.

All their sad issues from that day were all forgotten

"I actually know where they sell good ice cream," Timi said.

"Where?"

"It's close to the park," he replied. "We can go tomorrow after school if you want."

Amira's eyes widened. "Of course! That's a plan!"

"That's a date." Timi corrected with a grin and they both nodded slowly and began cackling again without noticing that they were the only ones left outside.

Maybe they were both sugar high.