A lot of us were being braver than we ever thought we could be, doing things that called for dire consequences. Some of us were putting up a facade, painting the pictures we wanted everyone to see on damaged canvas.

There was a lot to learn and much more to come to terms with.

It would've just been better if we didn't have to learn it through the hard way.

◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ - ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈

A cheerful, genuine smile. Graceful strides. Soft spoken words. An uplifting and peaceful aura inside-out.

That was how Tamara Disemi did God's work. Although some people would appreciate it if that God's work did not include distributing gospel tracts at school the way she was doing that Friday morning.

"You've got to be kidding me," Tamara heard her sister mumble as she walked past where she stood with Timi. It was no surprise that Tari wasn't much of a fan of Tamara's school evangelism. Asides the fact that Tari had specifically begged her not to take those tracts to school that morning, Tamara made sure to personally hand the booklet to each and everyone of their classmates while speaking about eternal life to those who cared to listen.

Tamara ignored Tari as she walked past her siblings to the rest of her classmates scattered in the SS 2 passageway. Nothing was going to ruin her mood that morning.

"Hey, good morning," she beamed when she got to where Adam stood, explaining something to Zehan and Charles. "Remember that Jesus loves you. Remain blessed..." she recited the same thing been saying the entire morning as she handed the booklet to each of them.

"Uh...no, thank you," Zehan said, looking down at the tract Tamara outstretched to him.

Tamara was about to speak when Adam interrupted. "We attend the same church. I have like ten of these at home..."

"What's it doing at home?" Tamara asked and she watched Adam roll his eyes. "You should be spreading God's word."

Charles actively fought the urge not to burst into laughter as he snickered at the awkward situation. Tamara only sent him a brief look before turning back to Adam.

"You should be spreading the gospel, especially with...your friend here," she said the last part, smiling at Zehan.

Zehan stared and down and nearly cut her in half with the lasers his eyes were shooting. "Girl, I just hope you ain't talking about me."

"Of course- "

"Tamara, just go and continue sharing...the gospel," Adam politely dismissed her, averting what was about to become an argument between her and her cousin.

Tamara decided to let it go as she put her smile back on and went on to her other classmates who were aimlessly wondering about the hallway.

"...I just felt like it was you. It was a strong reason- " Kasy was telling CJ before the Chapel prefect appeared in front of them.

"Hey, good morning," she beamed after Kasy had stopped talking and they were looking at her. She handed them the tracts which they collected reluctantly. "Remember that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light. He loves you and is able to- "

"Thank you very much," Kasy faked smile while looking at the tract in her hands. If she didn't shut Tamara up one way or another, the girl was ready to recite the entire New Testament on the spot.

CJ only gave a vacant look.

"Kasy, how come I've never seen you in church?" Tamara asked, unblinkingly. She actually really wanted to know but with the way Kasy narrowed her eyes for a second, it seemed she was trying to understand the basis of the question.

"I'm...catholic," Kasy drawled, almost like she was unsure. Or maybe she wasn't sure if that was the answer to Tamara's question.

"Oh, okay." Tamara smiled before turning to CJ, "and you?"

"And me, what?"

"I've never seen you in church." Tamara chuckled awkwardly because her question was obvious and coupled with the fact that CJ's demeanor inscrutable, it made her slightly uncomfortable.

"That's because we don't go to the same church." CJ shrugged slightly before taking the first look at the booklet Tamara had handed him. She instantly knew he was probably going to throw it away when she was gone.

"Oh...so which church do you attend?" Tamara asked, at least happy for the fact that he was an active Christian.

"The one in our compound."

CJ nodded slowly to his own response as if it made perfect sense to him while Kasy immediately burst into laughter that second.

"You're so funny!" Kasy exclaimed in between laughter after hitting CJ's shoulder playfully. Her laughter slowly died down she looked up to see Cj staring back at her with a glazed expression.

Tamara left them when Kasy began asking the boy if he was actually serious with what he had said.

Dele, Ahmed and Annika stood at a corner as they seemed to be conversing about something serious in whispers. Annika looked pissed as she spoke with her hands as well.

Any other person would never think of interrupting but Tamara Disemi wasn't any other person.

"Hey, good morning!" she shouted so they would hear her. As expected, they all paused whatever they were saying and turned to her. In as much as they all looked bilious and choleric, Tamara still smiled cheekily.

She first outstretched a booklet to the Deputy Head Boy but he only looked her up and down. "Go through this and remained blessed. Remember that- "

"Can't you see we're in the middle of a conversation here?" Dele snapped at her.

Tamara only swallowed the lump in her throat before turning to Ahmed with the same tract that Dele had refused to collect. "Jesus is the- "

"He's a Muslim, you thwart!" Dele snapped at her again while Ahmed was dangerously glaring at her but fortunately, didn't do more than that. Dele's voice had attracted the attention of their classmates and soon, the spotlight was on them.

"Breathe, and try again," Tamara said to herself before turning to Annika who was looking into nothingness. She looked on edge and Tamara soon realized that there was something going on. The trio seemed to be pissed about something and maybe it wasn't the best time to approach them.

Nevertheless, Tamara smiled at Annika who wasn't even looking at her as she said, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God- "

She didn't get to finish her sentence because the Head Girl simply walked out on her.

Most people who had been watching snickered and made mocking noises.

Tamara's smile twitched slightly as Dele and Ahmed equally walked away with her hand and her tract still hanging in the air.

It took her awhile but she breathed in and out before she turned around and put on that smile again. If her cheeks were beginning to hurt, she didn't feel it.

"Enock! Good morning," she beamed once again as though she had always been best friends with the boy. She turned to the girl standing next to him to acknowledge her as well. "Sola..."

Sola threw an obviously fake smile.

"Hey, what's good?" Enock gave back the same energy Tamara had given him.

Tamara had enough confidence as she handed Enock one of the tracts and did the same to Sola who reluctantly took it from her.

"Does this come with cash?" Sola held up the booklet as she awaited Tamara's response.

"Jesus is the way..." Enock on the other hand read out loud the bold text on the front cover of the tract.

"The word of the Lord is priceless, Sola. It's worth more than anything on earth..."

"So...that's a no. It doesn't come with money," Sola stated before she went on to open the booklet. "How do you preach the gospel to people who are hungry?"

"The word of God- "

"I hope you're not about to tell me the word of God is food...because you'd be pissing me off right now," Sola interrupted, shaking her head slightly to lay emphasis.

"Well- "

Sola interrupted again. "You know what..." she roughly shoved the tract at Tamara, "...take it, I don't need it. Thank you."

"It won't take you more than a minute to go through it...it's really worth- "

"Take it and go. I have enough respect for God and that's why I'm giving it back instead of throwing it away when you leave just like a lot of people will do," Sola said firmly with a tone of finality.

Tamara sighed. She immediately put her signature cheeky smile back on before turning to Enock. "Our presentation is on Monday."

"Presentation," Enock repeated, smiling for some reason.

"Yes, our English project. The debate." Tamara sighed again, she didn't know why she had to be explaining something like that to him. "We haven't rehearsed."

"It's a debate, madam, not a play." Sola snickered, looking amused.

Enock only maintained his grin. "There's still time, don't worry."

"What are you talking about, today is already Friday. We only have today."

"And Saturday...and Sunday," Enock said with a confused looked.

"Count Sunday out of it, I'll be at church," Tamara was quick to say.

"The whole day?" Enock looked even more confused.

"Yes," she said firmly and Sola couldn't help it anymore, she just laughed a short laughed. Tamara didn't see what was funny, she was usually very busy on Sundays after service helping the ushers clean up and also doing a little rehearsal with the choir.

"Okay..." Enock looked amused himself, "today and tomorrow then."

"And how are we going to see tomorrow?"

Enock looked even more confused. "I'll come to your house?" It was supposed to be a question but it came out that way. Sola was trying hard not to burst out laughing, she must have found Tamara pathetic. Tamara tried to ignore her.

"You can't," Tamara said. "You know what? Today will be enough. Let's just meet at the library during break and we'll practice. Forty-five minutes is more than enough."

Enock shrugged. "You're the boss." He threw her a charming smile before she hastily walked away.

Sola laughed a short, throaty laugh. "That girl is something else, I swear."

Enock chuckled as they watched her meet more classmates to hand out her tracts. "Look how big she is..."

Sola scoffed. "If she sits on you by any chance, God save your soul."

They both laughed.

"You know you're going to her house, right?" Sola suddenly stated and that took her boyfriend aback.

"But she said- "

Sola placed her hand of his cheek and sighed. "This boy, you're so stupid." She shook her head. "How else do you want to fuck her? Or do you plan on doing it in the library this afternoon?"

"Hell no," Enock replied. He could feel his heart beating faster for some reason. He almost couldn't believe that it was almost time to execute this plan he and Sola had been working on for weeks. "And sleeping with her?"

He had a problem with that but he wouldn't tell that to Sola. Enock hadn't had sex since his first time which was almost three years ago and now he was going to do it to get back at Tamara.

Sola sighed as her hand still remained on her boyfriend's face. "We just need to make sure that everyone knows that she isn't as holy as she is. Once the rumor starts going around, Mr. Johnson will hear about it and he won't trust whatever she says anymore. She'd be a hypocrite to everyone and we can finally do our own thing without looking over our shoulder."

When she put it like that...

Enock nodded with a small smile lingering on his lips. Sola smiled as well.

• • •

A racing heart, unsteady breathing, sweating unnecessarily. That was Tamara in front of the goal post.

She couldn't believe she was doing this. She had never played football in her life but here she was, acting as goalkeeper. Zehan had made it pretty clear that participation was compulsory and since she wasn't any good as a midfielder, she was sent to the goalpost.

Honestly, with the way things were going so far, Tamara was pretty sure she would do a horrible job. Her muscles felt limp and she was trying to catch her breath and wipe sweat from her forehead when the match had barely started.

What was a goalkeeper supposed to do?

Maybe it would be good to just jump around in front of the post in anticipation of any incoming goals. And thankfully, for twenty minutes since the sports prefect had blown the whistle, it didn't seem like any goals would be scored at all.

But things started getting heated as soon as Olusola Fadiya got hold of the ball and was heading towards Tamara's goal post with speed. Tamara felt like her heart would jump out of her chest as she tried to concentrate and stop her hands from shaking.

The spectators cheered as they watched Sola dribble every player in her way and headed to score the first goal. But then Amira surprisingly and impressively took the ball from Sola and began heading in the opposite direction.

Tamara wasn't sure who the keeper for the other team was but she was pretty sure whoever it was would be doing better than she was. She just hoped that Amira would keep the ball going with her and eventually score. Tamara didn't want that ball coming anywhere close to her.

Amira was already close to the other team's goalpost, and just as she was about to shoot her shot, everyone watched as Annika ran to her, shoved her away before taking the ball from her and turning around.

People expected Zehan to blow the whistle as Amira stumbled back and tried to restore her balance but eventually still fell on the grass. It was an obvious foul play but when Zehan didn't blow the whistle, it was clear that Amira was enraged as she stood up and ran after the Head Girl like a tiger.

Everything seemed to stop for Tamara except Annika who was headed her way with the ball. That was the only thing Tamara could see at that moment as her heart raced. Annika was getting dangerously close to her and none of the players seemed to be able to stop her.

Just when Annika had gotten to the goalpost and was about to fire her shot, Tari obstructed Tamara's view as she did her job as a defender.

Tamara wouldn't lie, Tari did her best. But when the ball suddenly came flying in the air after Annika had dribbled the life of out Tari and kicked the ball so hard and so fast, Tamara was almost sure she died on the spot.

As she came face to face with the ball and the crowd went wild as they watched the soccer ball head into the goalpost, there was only one thing Tamara could do at that moment.

Take cover.

And suddenly, it seemed like the whole world had been watching as the screams and cheers and mocking laughter became deafening.

"Tamara, what the fuck?!" Tari's shrill voice thundered amidst the noise as Tamara still had her hands over her head, turned back and bent over slightly.

Many people were yelling words of blame and others laughing their asses out but Tamara could see the look of rage on her sister's face while Amira's expression equally screamed murder.

Tari matched over to Zehan, demanding to know if he was blind and didn't see Annika shoving Amira.

Amira on the other hand seemed to be trying to contain her anger as she paced around the field.

"Next time," Kasy said to Tamara as she approached her, "just knock the ball away with your hands." She went further to demonstrate as she jumped with her hands in front of her.

Tamara wasn't even sure she could jump. She just wanted everyone to leave her alone and stop blaming her for something they weren't paying her for. Football (or any other sport for that matter) wasn't for her, obviously.

Zehan began blowing the whistle for the match to continue since he didn't seem to be listening to whatever Tari was yelling into his ear.

All the girls took their positions and it was action again as the whistle went off.

There was so much adrenaline pumping in the air and Tamara didn't like it.

It seemed the boys were finding everything entertaining- especially Enock and his squad- and why wouldn't they?

With the way it looked like Annika and Amira were having a cat fight instead of playing football and the way Amira always paused and hesitated before passing the to Tari, something else was going on. Kasy on the other hand seemed to be running round the field on purpose, at a point it seemed she was just hoping for the ball not to touch her feet.

White T-shirts were starting to turn brown by the time the second half came around and girls looked exhausted. But that wasn't the case for Amira and Annika as they glared at each other while their respective teams switched goalposts for the second half.

Tamara was sure she'd seen Annika give the other girl the middle finger from across the field and when Amira muttered, "Bitch" under her breath, it was obvious Tamara hadn't imagined the middle finger.

Tari nearly bathed herself in the water Ahmed had brought for her. But she seemed to be ignoring his silly remarks about how Annika had dribbled her or maybe Tari wasn't even listening to him. Amira eyed the two before running into the field just as the whistle signaling the second half resounded.

The only thing that kept Tamara from hyperventilating was all the drama on the field. She had always been one to observe and pick up little things everybody else overlooked. And she was also someone who usually didn't mind her business.

Her eyes met with Enock's who was making his way out of the field since he'd been with his girlfriend. He only smiled awkwardly and Tamara simply took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second.

"Dear Lord, come and help your daughter. Come and give me strength, father."

"Are you okay?" Kasy's voice came again.

Tamara opened her eyes and nodded at Kasy who had a confused look on her face.

She took her position at the goalpost, front and center.

The second half of the match started soon after and ten minutes into it, things began to heat up and it didn't take time before it began to escalate.

It started when Sola got hold of the ball and began heading towards Tamara with so much speed and agility. But then Tari took the ball from her and was about to turn around when Annika appeared in front of her and Tari fought, and fought hard. Tari nearly tripped and fell over after Annika finally got hold of the ball and continued where Sola had stopped.

Once again, Tamara's heart began doing a back flip as the Head Girl dangerously got closer to her goalpost again. But it didn't seem like Annika was going to wait to get to the goalpost since the opposition from Tamara's team was threatening her.

She was going to shoot a shot from the middle of the field.

Tamara only wondered what would happen to her if that ball hit her. Obviously, the shot the Head Girl was about to fire would be as powerful as the tongues of fire that rested on the disciples on Pentecost Day. And Tamara was sure she would definitely speak in tongues after the impact.

But something else happened.

And Tamara watched as it happened.

As Annika took a step back after placing the ball properly, ready to shoot that shot. Tamara watched as something moved across the field with nearly the speed of lightening and everyone gasped as it slammed into the Annika like a bulldozer, or rather, a wrecking ball.

It was only when they began rolling on the floor and Zehan furiously began blowing his whistle that everyone realized that what had dived the Head Girl like that wasn't a thing but a person.

Amira Yusuf.

Everything happened too fast from there.

As though the girls hadn't heard the whistle, every one of them ran after the ball from all corners of the field like mad women. They raised dust and no one noticed that Amira and Annika had risen to their feet and were shoving each other.

Zehan- or any other boy for that matter- didn't even dare step foot into the chaos. The whole thing looked like a whirlwind of girls as they all chased after Sola and Tari who were at the front, fighting for the ball with their legs, hands and breasts.

Zehan kept blowing his whistle and yelling at them but no one was listening and no one outside the lion's den dared enter the lion's den.

Tamara watched as Kasy walked out of the field, shaking her head and she decided that it would be best to do the same and leave the crazy girls fighting over a ball.

Tamara began walking away from her post but then suddenly, the onlookers were yelling and the girls fighting for the ball weren't moving anymore.

Tamara didn't see it coming as she looked around, confused.

Until she looked up and saw the hard leather ball in the air.

And that was the moment it collided with her forehead.

• • •

Timi reduced himself to her level as she sat on the bench and adjusted his glasses before asking, "Is the pain still that much?"

Tamara pressed the ice wrapped with a piece clothe on her forehead and winced. She didn't need to answer her brother's silly question, he wasn't blind. Obviously, she was still in serious pain.

She felt like her head would split in two.

Exactly what she had been avoiding and it happened anyway. Tamara could suddenly feel every vein in her head aching and she wanted to cry. In fact, she had already cried on the field after the ball had hit her.

"Where is Tari and the aspirin naw!" Tamara whined, hitting her feet on the floor.

"Don't worry she's coming," Timi patted her shoulder as he stood in front of her as if that would make the pain go away. "Sorry."

Tamara's eyes were starting to produce water again as the pain intensified. Her eyes also joined the chorus and began to ache.

"Sorry, sorry," Timi kept mumbling when she wouldn't stop wincing.

Tari hastily approached her siblings with the aspirin she had gone to the infirmary to get. Tamara was sitting on the bench as she winced every now and then.

"Take," Tari said as she handed the pills to Tamara.

"Did you bring water?" Tamara managed to ask, looking up at her sister.

"No..."

"No? Am I now supposed to chew the medicine?" Tamara snapped at Tari.

"Who are you shouting for?" Tari immediately took offense, "Abeg, please, Tamara don't even provoke me any further this morning. I'm already fed up here..."

"Tari calm down- "

Tari didn't let Timi speak. "No, what does she mean?!" Tari thundered, it seemed she was ready to unleash her anger from the football match on her siblings but Tamara could only care about her throbbing head at that moment. "I just ran to the infirmary and back here to get aspirin for her and she wouldn't even say thank you. It's to open her yeye mouth and be yabbing nonsense as if she asked me to get water in the first place..."

"It's okay," Timi tried to calm Tari down. "I'll just go and buy sachet water from the canteen."

"Please be fast..." Tamara said as Timi made his way out of the basketball court where they had brought her after her accident on the field.

"You're just so fucking ungrateful," Tari spat. "Do we look like your butlers? You can't even say thank you. We should've just left you on that field, when you get tired to crying, you'd get up."

Tamara had had enough. "And did I beg you to come and help me, Tari? What's your problem? Please, for the love of God, my head is pounding, let me be!"

"You didn't beg me, abi?" Tari asked. "I don't blame you, when you were there crying like a five year old, your mouth wasn't running like this."

"Tari, let me be. Get out of here!" Tamara exploded out of anger and that was only to her own detriment because her head equally exploded in more pain.

"I'll get out when I want to get out. Don't even make me open your matter this morning. With that nonsense you did on the field...you're the reason they scored that first goal- "

"Don't start blaming me for anything now because you were also there and you weren't paralyzed!" Tamara held on to her head but still replied her sister.

"You're not ashamed of yourself, honestly." Tari scoffed. "Did you expect me to do your job as the keeper? They actually put you there because your fat ass can't run round the field but yet, you just go there and stand like a buffalo in front of the post."

"Don't call me buffalo again!" Tamara looked up at the disgusted look on her sister's face with bloodshot eyes and damp cheeks.

"Buffalo!" Tari spat again.

"God bless you," Tamara mumbled, deciding to let it go before looking down at the floor as she still pressed the ice against her head. She didn't want Tari to see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"And God have mercy on you," Tari replied before hissing loudly and storming out of the basketball court just as Timi was returning with the sachet water.

"What's the matter?" Tamara heard Timi's voice but didn't look up at him. He outstretched the water and she snatched it from him angrily.

She downed the aspirin. Taking in deep breaths, she was beginning to come back to life.

"Are you feeling better?" Timi asked but she didn't respond. "Maybe you should eat something. Let's go to class."

"Go, I'll be coming," she responded.

Timi seemed to consider it for awhile before he sighed and gave in. "Okay,"

Tamara didn't know why, but the tears came rolling down after her brother left. Her chest rose and fell slowly as she tried and failed to calm herself.

She looked down at her hand, her legs. Nothing but fat.

Maybe she was just as useless and worthless as they said. She was nothing but a laughing stock.

When she heard voices in the court, Tamara immediately wiped her tears. Her headache had subsided and when she looked towards the door to see who had walked in, she saw the Yusuf twins.

If didn't seem like they had noticed she was there since they were arguing in Hausa. Ahmed who had dragged his sister into the place was still holding onto her upper arm.

Tamara couldn't hear them clearly until Amira's croaked voice came. "Ahmed, I'm your sister, not Annika! Why are you supporting her? Why must you stand behind her every move?!"

Amira sounded like she was crying. Tamara couldn't even see them clearly since their figures were only a silhouette formed by the light from the entrance.

"Wetin dey worry you sef? I jus won understand why you do wetin you do." Ahmed said. "Why you go dey blackmail her? Even that nonsense you do for field, you dey craze?"

"You don't have the right to ask that stupid question because you've never been on my side from day one," Amira croaked, "so I don't expect you to be on my side now. Go and continue licking her butt...but let me tell you this," she was pointing at her brother, "don't you ever call me your sister if you're not ready to act like my brother."

Amira angrily hit his chest and stormed out. Ahmed stood there for awhile, he seemed to be taking everything his sister had said in.

Tamara had forgotten all about her own problems by the time Ahmed equally walked out.

Yes, maybe she wasn't the only one with problems but then, she served a living God unlike them...

Christians weren't supposed to be humiliated the way she was.

Maybe she needed to pray more.