Some of us didn't feel like we were good enough. We wished we were good enough. Good enough for the people around us, good enough to meet the standards that had been set for us before we even knew what standards were.

Maybe if we were cared about a little more, we wouldn't have headed into the fire and gotten burned.

The desire to be good made us do unspeakable things. Things that we would never do. Things that would set a series of events in motion.

It was here that saints became sinners.

◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ - ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈

Workout.

Gym.

Intimidating.

Confident.

Be like Dele Akindele.

Timi was ready to accept his new reality as those things kept echoing in his sleep and even when he'd woken up, in his head. Maybe it was a good thing because he was ready to do something about his body.

Zehan had been right, he could be intimidating and confident but only if he wanted to. And was going to do something to look the way he pictured himself.

He was tired of looking like a big baby. A big baby with glasses. He was starting to hate the glasses.

Timi had spent the previous night doing a lot of research on how he could get abs and muscles and after a hundred YouTube workout tutorials later, Timi was pretty sure he would look better than Dele in the next two months or so.

To hell with everyone who looked down on him because of his stature, he was going to change that and he would become intimidating and confident.

He was snapped out of his reverie when a knock came on his door.

"Yes?"

The door swung open and Tari poked her head inside, probably to make sure he wasn't naked and if it was safe to come in. Timi shook his head because if she couldn't come in, he wouldn't have responded.

"What are you doing?" Tari asked as she sashayed into his before walking over to his bed and taking a seat at the edge, crossing her legs at usual. She looked like she was back to normal. Maybe she wasn't having nightmares anymore. Or maybe it was all the wonders of Ahmed Yusuf.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you looking in the mirror like that?" Tari rephrased with furrowed eyebrows. "Where are you going?"

"Who said I'm going anywhere?"

"You're wearing that ugly T-shirt you always put on when you're heading to somewhere important- which is rarely, thank God- and..." Tari squeezed her face, "did you dump your entire bottle of perfume on that rag you're wearing?"

Timi sighed and shook his head but he didn't turn away from the mirror, he watched his sister through it. "First of all, this is a very nice T-shirt, not a rag..."

"Yeah, tell that to the beggars when you give it to them..."

"And secondly, it's my perfume, and I mustn't go out to look good."

"Shut up, I bought that perfume for you for our birthday and don't give me that crap, I know you're going out," Tari said. "Probably on a date?"

Timi sighed.

"With...Amira?" Tari said slowly.

"Okay, you can get out of my room now," Timi turned around to meet the wide grin on his sister's face. She was still in her uniform and Timi was wondering when she was going to change.

He and Amira had agreed to go home first and put on something else after school before meeting up for the ice cream. Tari was starting to make it look like such a big deal.

"Timi and Amira, sitting on a tree..." Tari began singing, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

"Tari, stop. I'm serious," Timi warned. He was going to die of embarrassment.

Tari waved him off dismissively. "Abegi, you're always serious." She went back to grinning again. "Look, you need to put on something else, not that rag."

Timi gave up and went to sit on his bed while Tari got up from it and headed to his wardrobe to fish out something. She said something about there being too many books everywhere in the room that some were even in his wardrobe but he didn't say anything to that. He just looked through his WhatsApp statuses.

He had been mindlessly swiping through pictures and videos when he stumbled upon a picture Annika had posted less than an hour ago. His face fell.

It was a picture of Annika and Dele. They seemed to be in Annika's room, he would recognize that all-white interior anywhere. The selfie was taken on her bed. Annika's hair was not up in a high bun, instead she'd heavy curls were all over the place. They were both just grinning to the camera.

Perfect.

That was the only thing Timi thought as he stared at the picture. They looked perfect.

Dele had posted another version of the picture in black and white and captioned it 'LOML'.

A piece of clothing covered Timi's screen as Tari through him one of his T-shirts. It was also something she had bought him for their birthday.

"Don't ask questions, I know what looks good on you." Tari nodded in assurance. Timi got up and changed into the black T-shirt when Tari left returned with a gold chain she put around his neck.

Timi was forced to put of the black ripped jeans he never wore and Tari gave him a thumbs up as she assessed his look. He was ready to go.

"We're just going to buy ice cream, not attending the Grammy Awards," Timi said as Tari helped him pick out shoes.

"Oh ice cream," Tari chuckled for some reason. "Yeah, it drives Amira nuts."

Timi chuckled. "Yeah, you know your friend well."

Tari was silent for awhile as she looked over his shoes arranged in the wardrobe before picking out the white Adidas canvas. She turned around handed them to Timi. There was a look on her face.

"I don't know about me and Amira," she went on to say. "I feel like she's holding a lot against me and... I just don't know. For now, we are not close anymore. We both need to calm down and...breathe."

"Oh..." Timi trailed.

"But I'm not going to stop you from dating or whatever this is going to lead to." Tari added immediately. She must've seen the look on slight disappointment on Timi's face.

Timi couldn't believe it. Him, going on a date. Dating?

Asides that, there was something else.

"I wish I could say the same thing about you and Ahmed." Timi looked up at his sister. "I don't like him..." he shook his head, "no, that's putting it lightly. I hate Ahmed. The guy is...he's just not someone I want to see you around."

Timi didn't sound angry or bitter but he'd meant what he said and he hoped Tari would see that.

His sister only stared back at him for a while. She sat next to him afterwards but still didn't say anything until she suddenly chuckled. "Imagine if mum and dad gets wind of this."

"Yeah, we would he beheaded?"

They both snickered awkwardly.

"Out of all the people on the world..."

"We chose Muslims," Timi completed.

Tari turned to him. "But that doesn't bother you, does it? It doesn't matter, right?"

Timi shrugged. "It honestly doesn't. At least I know that now." He nudged Tari and they shared a smile. "And besides...I kind of talked with Zehan..."

Tari didn't say anything, she only looked back at him to hear what he'd say next.

Timi shrugged once more. "He's a good person. The way our family have been treating their family...it's just not fair."

"You know that's not our fault," said Tari. "We were always told to stay away from them when we were kids. Tamara took it to the next level and up until today, she sees them as bad people."

"I also saw them that way," Timi said immediately, pointing to himself. "I followed what dad always said. They were nothing but...murderers. The Muslims."

Tari sighed. "Remember that Zehan and his family weren't the ones who killed dad's parents."

"Trying telling that to dad," Timi scoffed. "All he knows is that Muslims had invaded their house in the and shot his parents. He said the Muslims were following their religion. Therefore, they were serving the devil."

"Jihadist," Tari mumbled. "That's what he'd called them."

"Yes."

"Heaven knows I don't like talking about all this stuff and I don't care either," Tari stood to her feet. "I believe that everyone is free to practice any religion of their choice. As long as you don't bring harm to others but you respect them, we're cool."

"I wish everyone thought about it like that,"

Tari patted Timi on the shoulder. "Don't think about it too much. Get up and get going, Amira is waiting for you."

• • •

Amira saw her parents out the door as they left the apartment. She nodded to all her mother's instructions as she helped her old husband out the door.

"We are already late for the check up, let Ahmed know his food is in the kitchen whenever he decides to return," said Mrs. Yusuf before heaving a sigh. Even she looked tired and restless.

"Yes, ma," Amira mumbled as they walked out through the door.

"And if I were you, I would start studying hard," said Mrs. Yusuf. "Your exams are around the corner and you know what happens if you don't come first."

Amira swallowed. Of course she knew what would happen. It would mean the end of studying. And her mother wasn't just saying it to frighten her. She meant it.

She wasn't sure why Ahmed didn't get the same threats. Maybe it was because he would gladly fail and drop out if they gave him that ultimatum or maybe it was simply because he was a boy and boys were supposed to be in school no matter what.

But none of that stopped Amira as she changed out of her school uniform and sort out for the most casual and normal outfit she could lay her hands on.

Ahmed had asked her to live her life. That was what she was going to do. Studying could wait.

• • •

They had met up at the park just as they had planned.

After much thought, Amira had decided to go with a plain white top a long pink skirt that went down to her ankles. It was the most casual thing she had but when she saw Timi, she began thinking of how under dressed she was.

"Who knew the Head Boy could look so good," Amira teased as they made their way to the eatery where Timi claimed they had the best ice cream.

"So I normally look...bad?" Timi looked genuinely concerned but they just laughed it off. "Besides, it's Tari's handwork."

Amira nodded. That made sense. "Of course. The girl wants to be a celebrity stylist, what did you expect?"

Timi chuckled and thought of how his sister and Amira knew each other so well. He didn't think he'd ever had someone who knew him well like that, asides from Tari who claimed to know even what goes on in his head.

They had gone into the crowded eatery/creamery together and when Amira thought Timi would get two cups of ice cream, he asked for the big bucket instead.

"You know we can't finish that," Amira told him with an amused look on both their faces.

Timi shrugged. "Then you'll just carry the remaining one home."

"I can't do that."

"Fine, then I'll carry it home."

Amira shook her head in amusement as they handed Timi the bucket of ice cream in a leather bag. Timi checked for the spoons, paid and then their next task was finding a seat.

Browno's was always packed but considering the fact that it was a Wednesday afternoon, no one would expect it to be a rush hour. There wasn't a single vacant seat, both indoor and outdoor. Customers barely even had space to walk through.

"Let's just go back to the park," Amira suggested, turning to Timi who was adjusting his glasses and looking at the multitude of people.

"Good idea."

• • •

"...and that's the feeding mechanism paramecium caudatum." Timi smiled in satisfaction with his explanation before scooping from the ice cream in between them on the bench.

"Ohh..." Amira nodded in understanding. "So they feed on tiny microscopic organisms...like decayed food."

"And bacteria, basically."

"Well, you explained it better than the textbook," said Amira before dipping one of the chocolate cookies they had bought on their way to the park into the ice cream.

"Eww," Timi scrunched up his nose as he watched her eat the cookie covered in ice cream.

"Ew you too," she said with a mouthful before pointing to her mouth, "This is actually delicious."

Timi laughed at the look on her face. "I can't believe they made you Sanitation Prefect,"

Amira's eyes widened. "What's that supposed to mean, I'm dirty?"

"You're disgusting!" Timi exclaimed and laughed out loudly, throwing his head back. Amira couldn't understand what was tickling his fancy.

"Don't let me stone you one of these cookies."

Some of the children playing in the park would occasionally turn to give them a weird look but Timi didn't seem to care as he just laughed.

It was a miracle that the sun wasn't scorching hot or else they wouldn't have been able to sit so openly on a wooden bench in the middle of the sandy park.

They ate in silence for a while before Timi remembered something he had wanted to ask Amira about.

"What happened yesterday? In the Chemistry lab?" he asked slowly. "Between you and Annika?"

"Oh..." Amira trailed, fully aware of what Timi was talking about.

"It was like...you were ready to fight her at that moment." Timi chuckled awkwardly, biting the tip of his plastic spoon without even knowing.

"It was just an argument," Amira forced a smile, "you're exaggerating."

"No, I'm not," he insisted, "you look really pissed off and Annika too- "

"Do you like her?" Amira asked spontaneously, cutting Timi off as she now stared him in the eye. She didn't know when she had asked the question but she was relieved that she finally had a chance to do it. "Do you like Annika?"

Timi was nearly chewing his spoon at that point. He stared back at Amira as he internally panicked and mentally contemplated on what answer he should give her: the truth or the lie?

"No!" he exclaimed, chuckling awkwardly, "of course not, why would you think that?"

The lie seemed more suitable.

Amira still stared at him. She couldn't tell if he was lying or not but the fact that he had denied it gave her a little peace of mind. It was then that she realized that she might not have been able to handle it had he told her that he liked Annika. She wanted to believe that he didn't, and she did.

"Oh, okay..." Amira looked down into the vanilla ice cream as she played with her spoon in the white cream. "I just thought...I don't know, it just looked like you liked her."

Timi couldn't believe it could have been that obvious. Was he that obvious? Did everybody know that the Head Boy had a crush on the Head Girl? It wouldn't be funny if people found out.

"No... I don't like her, she's just my friend." Timi smiled and got an idea on how he would change the topic at hand. "And that was why I wanted to know what's going on. You don't seem to like her."

"Honestly...I don't."

"Why?"

"Because she gets everything," she sighed. "It's always Annika, all the time. She's everywhere, she's in everything, she's good at everything. And the rest of us are just in her shadows."

"That's not true," Timi replied. He wasn't seeing things from Amira's angle at all. From where he stood, Annika was just a brilliant, born leader.

"She has it all worked out."

"She doesn't."

"She does! She doesn't have to worry about getting the best grades so her parents would continue paying her fees but she still does," Amira blabbed, "She doesn't give the rest of us the chance in the spotlight. I don't know what everybody sees in her."

"Look," Timi adjusted his glasses, "there's something you don't know about Annika."

"What's that?" Amira sounded curious as to why Timi was so serious all of a sudden.

"Well...its supposed to be a secret," he said. "No one knows except her friends and they don't even know she told me... But just to prove my point, I'm going to tell you,"

Amira looked on with maximum attention.

"When Annika was a kid, she had an accident," he started, "and that accident cause a little...some sort of brain damage. Sometimes she would have these terrible migraines and sometimes it would affect all her sense organs. But the worse part was that after the accident, she found it difficult to remember basic things about people...especially their names. Sometimes too, she would forget what day it was or the name of a place.

"One time Kasy was surprised that Annika had remembered her name because she had been calling her things like Mercy and stuff from the beginning...and I told Kasy that maybe, Annika was getting used to her, as a friend or something. Annika didn't forget names of people close to her...just people she wasn't that familiar with.

"That's why, most times it seems like she's snobbish or just basically uninterested in people but it's actually a defect on her side. She doesn't have the ability to notice little things or register them to her memory."

Amira was dumbfounded. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Could it even be true? That would explain why it seemed like Annika genuinely didn't know her name the previous day during the incident at the chemistry lab, because she didn't.

"But then..." Amira trailed, "how come she's so...smart?"

Timi simply shrugged. "God works in mysterious ways."

Amira didn't know what to say or think. She just stared at nothing.

"You can't tell anybody what I just told you. Annika would kill me. She doesn't want anyone to know...I'm not even sure the school authorities know..."

"Why?"

Timi adjusted his glasses and sighed. "I don't know. Maybe people would take her seriously anymore if they knew. They might want to take advantage of that and disrespect her."

"So she's been dealing with that...yet, she's still so...confident and smart and...fierce," Amira mumbled more to herself.

Timi shrugged once again. "She's stronger than you think."

Surprisingly, they had actually finished the ice cream. They had done it while engaging in small talk and laughing. After that, they both decided that they had a lot of things to do at home and they left.

They walked home slowly and in silence since they were going the same way. Both of them trying to hide their smile and not stare too much at the other person.

They got to Timi's house first and Amira insisted that she could get home by herself when Timi had offered to walk her home before returning to his house.

"Wait, I have this book that explains feeding mechanisms very well...I can go and get it if you want?" Timi asked when they had gotten to the front of his gate.

Amira thought it was a good idea. At least she would have an excuse for leaving the house in case she returned home and her parents were already back. She doubted it but...just in case.

"Okay," she said and Timi opened the gate and asked her to come in. She walked into the compound and insisted on waiting for him outside.

She admired the building as she waiting for him as though it was her first time there. She smiled as she recalled when Timi couldn't remember her name. Maybe that was when she'd started taking a liking to him.

Tari watched from her window and Timi ran back outside with a book in his hands and a grin on his face.

He handed it to Amira as if he was handing his life to her; carefully and slowly.

"Thank you," Amira mumbled before turning around to leave.

Suddenly, it felt like Timi was standing outside his body which had a mind of his own as his ghost and Tari from her bedroom window watched as he grabbed Amira's hand and she turned around to meet him again.

He hesitated but he placed his lips on hers.

"Oh my fucking God!" Tari whispered with a giggled before grabbing her phone from her bedside table and taking pictures from her window.

Timi placed his hands on Amira's cheeks. He didn't even know what he was doing. He had never kissed anyone in his life and he hadn't even been thinking about kissing Amira in the first place so why was he doing it?

Their lips remained like that for the ten seconds the kiss lasted. It was both their first kiss and it was awkward.

Amira literally ran out of the compound after they'd broke the kiss.

Timi adjusted his glasses and he stood there in shock.

Tari laughed.

• • •

The following day at school, Amira couldn't stop staring at the Head Girl. What Timi had told her about Annika still marveled her in a way that she didn't really know how to feel about it.

It was a free period and Annika was at the front row as usual, her desk covered in books as she explained something to Dele who sat next to her.

Why wasn't she as strong as Annika?

On the other hand, there was Timi who had been staring at her all day. Christ.

She couldn't take it. And she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he'd kissed her. Amira had had a mini panic attack after she got home that day.

Imagine what her parents would do if they found out she went around kissing boys. They would disown her for sure!

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them.

Exams were starting in less than two weeks. She had more things to worry about than her kiss with the Head Boy. She had to come first in her class or else, she could kiss education as she knew it good bye.

Amira needed to do her math. So she retrieved a notebook where she had been recording her assessment scores for every subject...and Annika's.

She had been taking note of both their scores in tests, projects, assignments and bonus points for every subject that term so that she would know how exactly Annika was ahead of her. She hadn't checked the total score yet because she had been afraid. But it was now or never.

Amira began doing the math with her scientific calculator. She started with Annika's score sheet first and after doing it twice just to be sure, she arrived at 368.

She sighed. Three hundred and sixty eight out of the maximum score of four hundred (without exam scores, of course) wasn't that much. In fact, Amira believed she was ahead of Annika for now, but there was only one way to find out.

Amira had calculated her scores the first time and she nearly had a breakdown at the total score she arrived at. She did it two more times and she arrived at the same score. It couldn't be.

365.

Three marks. Just three fucking marks.

Amira couldn't believe it. She was hoping she would arrive at about three hundred and eighty, so that even if Annika scored higher in the exams, her assessment would boost her up.

But now it looked like they would still be at loggerheads for the upcoming exams. The examination would be the tiebreaker and Amira didn't know how Annika did it but she always scored higher.

Amira was tired of the whole putting in more effort bullshit. It never worked. Annika was always in the win. No matter how she tried.

And now...her future was on the line. Amira had just that term to prove to her parents that she was worth being school. Hell, she was worth going to the University and pursuing her dreams as a microbiologist.

Annika Malan was standing in her way.

Amira needed to think and think fast.

The pencil in her hands snapped in two as she glared at Annika from where she sat.

Then it hit her.

Amira knew exactly how she would achieve her goal. It was the only way.

Her seat screeched loudly against the tiled floor as she stood to her feet and marched towards Annika.

"Head Girl," Amira dropped her hands on Annika's desk, putting on the most intimidating and confident look she could muster. Annika and Dele immediately looked up at her. "I need to speak with you."

Annika and Dele exchanged a look.

"In private," Amira added.

"What's this about?" Annika's voice was authoritative, calm and collected.

"It's very important, trust me." Amira raised her thin eyebrows. "Please," she forced herself to murmur before she watched Annika stand up in all her glory.

Annika turned to Dele. "Give me a minute," she said and he nodded.

Annika led the way as they walked out of the classroom and into the hallway and someone would think she was the one who had summoned Amira. She walked like a boss.

"Make it quick," Annika said as she turned around to face Amira after they were in the empty hallway, outside the classroom.

Amira sighed. She needed to sound as convincing as possible, yet confident. "My parents are going to stop me from going to school if I don't come first this term."

"Okay..."

"I don't want to stop going to school," Amira said as of Annika was supposed to already get that. "Annika, during one of your speeches, you said your dream was to become an Aerospace Engineer because you didn't think there are enough women in the Engineering world..." Annika seemed impressed as Amira mentioned that.

"My point, I have dreams too and to be honest..." Amira trailed, knowing that what she was about to say would be so impressive to the Head Girl, "to be honest, you're standing in the way of that dream. Because unless I come first this term, I won't continue going to school anymore."

"What exactly are you telling me right now?" Annika squinted at Amira.

Amira stepped closer to the Head Girl and gulped. "I'm telling you to please give me a chance. I want you to try your best and not score more than forty in the upcoming exams."

Annika scoffed. "You're asking me to intentionally fail all my exams?"

"It's not failing, you would just be coming second."

"It's not happening."

"You're going to do it, or else- "

"Or else what?!" Annika snapped, stepping forward threateningly.

Amira kept mute as the two girls stood inches away from each other.

"What's my name, Annika?" Amira breathed into the Head Girl's face.

"Excuse me?"

"What. Is. My. Name?" Amira asked again. Annika only stared back at her, no response. "Exactly, I know your secret. And if you don't do as I say, I'm going to tell the whole world that the Head Girl has a brain defect and she can't remember people's names."

"You must be mad,"

"And you're deranged."

"I am Annika Alicia Malan, no one- "

"And I am Amira Yusuf!" Amira thundered back. "I'm sure you'll remember my name now, won't you?"

"Do you know what I'm capable of?" Annika raised her eyebrows, her eyes burning like hot coal.

"I don't fricking care," said Amira. "Fail the exams or everybody finds out about your little problem. Simple."

With that, Amira hit the Head Girl's shoulders with hers as she walked past a frozen-to-the-spot Annika and went back into the classroom.

What do you have to say about Amira?
Has she changed or is she just showing her true colors now?
And what do you think Annika will do?