(The following chapters will contain a lot of typographical errors, forgive me. And it will also contain triggering scenes, be warned.)

There was always something about having a peaceful abode-having somewhere you could come back to after going through hell. It was soothing. It restored sanity.

But some of us didn't have that. For some of us, it was simply jumping from hell to hell, having no resting place. No peace of mind.

And what gave us the right to not go mad?

◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ - ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈

ＦＩＶＥ ＹＥＡＲＳ ＥＡＲＬＩＥＲ

The feel of the cold marble tiles against his bare feet was enticing for some reason. He loved being in that large room filled with fabrics and unfinished clothes. The sound of the sewing machine was also something he could never forget. He loved watching her look so focused and determined to finish whatever she was sowing.

"Desmond, don't you have homework to do?" she asked the same question she always asked whenever he would sit next to her, watching her do her work.

He smiled sheepishly-his way telling her that he'd done his homework and she couldn't chase him away.

"Mum, what are you sowing?" he asked her when he noticed it wasn't the same fabric she'd been using in making a trouser for him the previous day. This one was an Ankara material-the kind he had only seen being used for asoebi in weddings.

"I'm sowing a shirt." His mother took a second to smile at him. She had deep dimples that reminded him of making a hole in a chocolate bar. Chocolate just like his mother's skin.

"For who?" he asked, standing from the plastic chair he'd been sitting on to get a better look.

"For you, of course. Who else do I make clothes for?" She gave him another sly smile.

"But, it looks...big."

"You'll grow into it, dear."

He exchanged smiles with his mother even though he knew there was no way he was wearing an oversized shirt until it fit him perfectly.

He went ahead to grab one of the plain blue fabrics and tied one end around his neck, letting the rest of the cloth fall behind his back. It was his cape and he was Superman-at least for that moment. And that was how he ran around the house, barefooted, in his cape, pretending he could fly while his mother was busy in the workshop. They called it the workshop because there was nothing else to call it.

Soon, he heard the large gates open and he watched through the upstairs sitting room window as Ezekiel, the gateman waved at Mr. Akindele who drove in without responding.

Dele quickly got rid of his cape and ran to the workshop to announce his father's arrival to his mother. She looked perplexed on hearing her husband was back and Dele was equally confused. He wasn't supposed to return that day.

"Beatrice!" Mr. Akindele's voice boomed and blasted throughout the mansion, officially announcing his arrival himself.

Dele watched his mother tense up and shake as she put everything in the workshop away and led him out of the room before closing the door behind them.

Mrs. Akindele breathed out on walking into the large sitting room and finding her husband. "Dear, you're back."

Her husband turned to her with a glare. He was clad in a brown senator that fitted his bulk, muscular frame perfectly. "Where were you? I've been calling your name. S'eti e ti di ni?"

Beatrice Akindele stood firm, rigid, and rooted to the floor as usual but Dele could see her tensed demeanor in the way she twisted her fingers while standing before her husband.

When she didn't respond, Mr. Akindele walked over to the large dining where a small shelf containing his assortment of liquor was positioned on the wall.

Dele stood next to his mother, watching as she stood in the exact spot in the middle of the living room where his father had left them. They both nearly jumped out of their skin when his father yelled his mother's name again.

"Beatrice!" Mr. Akindele shouted walking back into the sitting room with a large empty bottle. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked, raising the empty bottle in the air for them to see. His eyes had turned red.

"Uh..." Beatrice trailed. "Dear, the scotch is finished. You took the last one before leaving the other day."

Dele knew scotch was his father's favourite drink and he went mad during times like this. When he'd run out.

"So?" Mr. Akindele asked, inching closer to his wife, the empty bottle in his hands. "Shy didn't you get another one? You knew it was finished and you didn't care! You wanted me to come home and have nothing to drink, right?"

"Dear," Beatrice called out the let name she used for her husband in almost a whisper, "that wasn't my intention at all. It simply slipped my mind."

"It skipped your mind..." He scoffed.

"Dear, calm down. I can go down to the middle ring and get you another bottle right-"

Beatrice didn't get to finish her statement because the next thing she knew, the big bottle made of thick glass was flying towards her and her twelve-year-old son. She had taken cover. She had to protect.

The scream of mother and son as the bottle landed next to them and the pieces danced on their feet after it shattered with a deafening sound.

Dele screamed more and began crying. He had been the only one who was barefooted and he wished at that moment that he could fly above the pieces of glass that pierced his flesh. Suddenly, there was nowhere to step on and his blood dripped on the broken glass.

He didn't know how his mother managed it but at that moment, she lifted him with tears in her eyes and ran out of the sitting room. His father kept yelling for her to come back that instant but she didn't turn back.

That would be the first time Beatrice disobeyed her husband. Because of her child.

Soon, they were sitting on Dele's bed after she had locked the door behind.

Dele couldn't help it. He cried as his mother treated his wounds and his father banged on his door, demanding that they come out. Dele was scared and he couldn't stop crying.

Beatrice didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say but what she knew was that she couldn't cry. Not anymore. Not while her son was here.

She stayed there with Dele for hours. Soon it was night time and sooner or later, she'd have to go out and face her husband. The thought of it made a tear roll down her cheek but she quickly wiped it and wrapped her hand around Dele as they laid on his bed, in the same position they'd been in for hours.

"Are you hungry?" Beatrice broke the silence.

Dele kept quiet for a while.

Yes, he was hungry but he wasn't going to let his mother know that. His being hungry meant she would have to get him food and her getting him food meant she'd have to go out and meet that beast.

"No," he responded, shaking his head for emphasis.

Beatrice sighed, knowing he was lying. Even if they decided not to have dinner, they would still have to face him later. There was no running.

Dele watched as his mother unwrapped her hands around him and slowly got out of the bed. His heart began racing at the thought of his mother going out there.

It wouldn't end well and they both knew it.

"Mum, where are you going?" He asked, sitting up and reaching out to hold her down.

"Desmond, I can't stay here forever. I have to cook dinner, your father would be hungry and I know you are too." She smiled as though everything was fine and that made Dele annoyed.

Why would she be smiling knowing that she was about to willingly walk into hell?

"Mum, no!" Dele suddenly barked like that would stop his mother from going out. "Please, don't go." His voice was much softer, almost a whisper.

His palms became sweaty and his heart was racing more dangerously.

A tear broke out of his eye when she walked out of the room, smiling at him like everything was perfectly fine.

Dele nearly lost it but out of fear, he remained on his bed.

Why would she willingly want to be tortured?

Soon, he began hearing voices. Voices that belonged to his parents.

Dele's breathing became unsteady with the rising of his father's voice. He closed his eyes.

It was only a matter of seconds.

With his eyes shut, he mentally counted to five and it came.

His mother's loud, deafening scream.

• • •

Most people thought the Deputy Head Boy was a social butterfly. After all, he was good with people, his classmates loved him and he was revered by the school authorities. But Dele wouldn't say the same.

He didn't like being around so many people and he didn't like having to pretend like he was paying attention or was interested.

Just like that moment when Enock told ridiculous stories to the other boys and they moved from that to plans on conquering Castron High girls.

Sure, he had to laugh and play along. It was exhausting. Very exhausting.

The bell for lunch break went off and the boys dispersed, exchanging handshakes before leaving the Art class. Dele didn't even know what he was doing there. He seldom ever stepped foot in Art class.

He sighed, folded his arms across his chest, and just shut his eyes. His eyelids were heavy and they had already been shutting on their own.

For a second, Dele thought he might've drifted off to sleep but of course, Enock Sakala had to painfully hit his shoulder after sitting coming closer to them.

"Bro, why do you look like you haven't slept in days?" Enock sounded amused but Dele wasn't finding it funny.

He hissed before opening his eyes and turning to Enock who was sitting on the chair he'd turned backward.

"You know my dad is in town. That man will be the death of me."

That was a lie. His father wasn't anywhere close to Abuja and even if he was, he probably wouldn't even say two words to Dele.

Enock chuckled lightly. That was the only assurance he had that Enock had bought what he was selling.

He just didn't his friends thinking he was always home alone and his father never cared about him-which was exactly what was happening.

But Dele would still tell Enock the real reason he hadn't been sleeping well, or at all. "And Stiles fell sick yesterday. My dad made sure I was with him throughout last night. The man doesn't want the dog to die but I needed my sleep...which I only got three hours of."

Again, his father couldn't give a flying fuck whatsoever concerning the welfare of the dogs. But Dele was hell-bent on making Mr. Akindele appear like the human being he had proved times without number that he wasn't.

He wasn't a human being.

Ahmed gave instructions to the boy who was called to go on his lunch errand while Dele spoke. He was purposely not paying attention to Dele and Dele knew it.

"Buy that wafers for me, the blue one oh!" Ahmed warned, "the blue one wey the sugar inside dey shine white. If you buy the pink one this school no go contain both of us oh!"

Enock's eyes widened. "Stiles is sick? It's been so long I saw him. I hope he gets well. And I hope Scott isn't bullying him anymore."

Dele smiled softly at Enock's concern for his German Shepard. "He'll be fine. I left him with the veterinary doctor before coming to school."

A yawn escaped Dele's mouth and he realized he needed that nap.

"Where is the clinic?" Enock asked.

"It's in Gwagwalada. I'll go and get him after school."

They told the junior student what to get for them and Ahmed sent him off after Dele gave him money for everything.

"So guy, how far your project?" Ahmed asked, turning to him and also hitting his left shoulder more painfully.

Dele groaned loudly at the question and Enock chuckled.

He didn't appreciate the fact their bet to sleep with Kasy had become a 'project.'

"Bro, we haven't even talked since then," Dele growled. He didn't want to talk about it and he wished Ahmed would stop bringing it up.

"Why you dey delay na? Do this thing na!" Ahmed slapped Dele's shoulder again with the back of his hand.

"Bro, leave me, abeg." Dele shut his eyes. If only his friends could see how stupid the bet was. Dele wasn't planning on going through with it.

"Come! Flat chest! Come here!" Ahmed suddenly called out and Dele immediately opened his eyes, taken aback by what Ahmed was doing. Enock laughed like a maniac.

Dele mumbled curse words as he pinched the bridge of his nose while Enock kept laughing.

He saw the frightened look on Kasy's face. She was reluctant and confused.

"Okay, flat yansh, come here!" Ahmed tried again before Kasy slowly stood and began walking over. "Okay, so na flat yansh you dey answer,"

Dele looked away and refused to make eye contact with Kasy when she finally got to them. But he heard her mumble, "that's not my name,"

"But you kukuma answer," Ahmed raised his eyebrows at her. "Anyway, na Dele say make I call you." He motioned to the Dele who now staring at Kasy.

She turned to him and he took that as a cue to say something. "Err...the debate, we need to prep for it. It's on Monday," he managed to say.

"Oh," Kasy mumbled. She'd been wondering when he would bring it up since he'd been avoiding her since their kiss. "What about today, after school?" she suggested.

Ahmed only watched the scene, smirking.

"At your house?"

"At your house," Kasy said instead. It had been ages since she went to Dele's house. That was her opportunity.

"Oh, okay..." Dele turned to meet Ahmed's mischievous smile before quickly turning back to Kasy. "Cool, no problem."

Kasy nodded with a small awkward smile. She hurriedly walked back to her seat with her heart beating against her chest so loudly. She was scared Ahmed would make another nasty comment but thankfully, an amused gaze was all he gave her.

She had stopped using the whitening cream after had been accused of bleaching - which wasn't a lie-and thankfully Ahmed hadn't brought it up ever since. She just couldn't wait to be done with secondary school. It was getting harder and harder to deal with everything.

Retrieving her phone from her bag, she went back to what she'd been doing before she was summoned.

Casper Bassey
So are you ready for next week?
11:51 AM

Next week: the Nero Sports Olympics. Asides from the fact that Kasy was afraid of messing up in the female relay race and football game, she now had to deal with the fact that Casper would be there watching everything.

They had been talking about the competition for days since both their schools officially got invited for the competition but it all still seemed like a dream to Kasy.

She was finally going to meet the Casper Bassey. They had been chatting online for weeks and now she was going to meet him. And he was going to meet her. What if he didn't like what he saw?

God, how the hell would someone like Casper Bassey look her way twice?

Chatting on Facebook was one thing. Meeting in person was another. And to be honest, Kasy preferred the way things were at the moment-talking and making each other laugh online. Once they met and he saw what she looked like, it would all change. He might never speak to her again.

So when Casper asks if she's ready for next week, she didn't know what to tell him. She wanted to meet him in person but she was just...scared.

Kasy K
I'm not sure 11:58 AMM

Casper Bassey
Why?11:59 AMM

Casper Bassey
I can't wait to meet this angel in person tho 😇 11:59 AMM

In as much as Kasy smiled at the message, that was exactly the problem. She wasn't an angel and she didn't look anything close to one either.

Kasy K
Can't wait to meet you too ☺12:01 PM

Casper Bassey
😘 😘 12:02 PM

Casper Bassey
Got to go
We'll talk later12:02 PM

Kasy K
Kk12:02 PM

She turned off her phone after he went offline. She released a sigh and looked around the classroom; everyone was going about their business as usual.

No one needed to tell her that as that she had no real friends-not anymore. Once upon a time, she had a clique, she had best friends. Friends who she would laugh with, visit on weekends and give silly nicknames.

Now, looking at everyone else in the classroom only reminded her of what used to be. How things had changed so suddenly. It was so shocking sometimes.

Somehow, she locked eyes with Dele who was still seated where he'd been and he was looking back at her intently. They held each other's gaze for about five seconds before Dele looked away, turning back to Ahmed who was speaking to him.

She equally turned away, released a sigh,h and decided she couldn't keep sitting there, looking miserable. Her brother was always there to keep her company.

She ran up the stairs leading to the third floor where the SS 3 classrooms and senior laboratories were. That particular floor was usually deserted and that that wasn't any different.

Before she could even get to the door leading into the computer lab, she heard voices echoing in the empty corridor from inside the lab.

The door had been left open, that explained it.

But who was Kendrick talking with? And why was the door left open?

Kasy then remembered that he'd mentioned that the air conditioner had stopped working and since whoever had done the building plan had forgotten to include a good window for ventilation, leaving the door open must've been the only option. Although Kasy doubted that would make much difference.

Without thinking much of it, Kasy was about to step inside but then she stopped in her tracks at the door and retraced her steps a little. She had recognized the second voice.

Ms. Isong.

"I've been thinking since you sent that text..." she trailed, her voice was not audible, and Kasy strained her ears. "I'm not fine. Ever since I came back here...it's been reminding me of what happened."

"Is that why you've been avoiding me?" Kendrick asked. "Do I also remind you of what happened?"

There was silence for more than ten seconds. It seemed Ms. Isong was hesitant to respond.

"Yes," she finally said, almost in a whisper.

"I'm sorry," said Kendrick, almost immediately.

"It wasn't your fault."

Kendrick didn't say anything for a while. Neither of them did, giving Kasy time to wonder what they were talking about. What had happened?

"Do you want to find him?" Kendrick's voice came out firm but slow.

"You keep saying it like it's that easy." it sounded like Ms. Isong was pacing around. "And besides, if I do, then what?"

"He'll pay for what he did."

Ms. Isong paused again. "It's not that easy. Remember, heaven and earth was moved to find him before the police gave up."

She seemed to have a point because Kendrick didn't say anything in turn.

Ms. Isong continued, "it's all in the past. I need to put it behind me."

Kendrick was saying something but Kasy couldn't pay attention because she felt a presence behind. Someone was standing behind her and she knew. She stood still for a moment, he chest thumping loudly before she finally turned around slowly.

Her breath seized on seeing CJ standing there, looking down at her with a blank expression.

"Jesus... You scared me," she whispered, releasing a sigh afterward.

It didn't seem like the boy was interested in why she was standing outside the computer lab, eavesdropping because the next thing she knew, he was grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards the far end of the hallway.

Kasy didn't say anything in protest until they got into the empty Physics lab and CJ shut the door behind them.

"You always act strange but this is stranger than usual," Kasy stated as she watched CJ walk from the door and head towards the large wooden desk at the far end of the lab.

"I want to show you something thing," he ignored her, looking serious and in a hurry. "I was here experimenting," something about that sounded like a lie to Kasy but she didn't say anything, "and I had use a meter rule and I got one from this pile." CJ was standing in front of a smaller table next to the white-painted walls containing a lot of lab equipment, including a pile of yellow meter rules.

Kasy walked over to where he stood just as he picked up one particular rule out of the rest and turned to her. Kasy wondered why it had to be so big.

"I picked this one up and was about to use it. But then I turned it over," CJ turned the meter rule over for Kasy to see, "and saw this." Something was inscribed with ink on the meter rule.

"Annika Alicia Malan...Bitch?" Kasy what was boldly written on the wooden meter rule.

"Yes, and what else did you notice?" CJ asked. He seemed to be enjoying playing detective.

Kasy tried to think. CJ was right, there was something else about the words. She couldn't pinpoint what exactly.

CJ dropped the meter rule on the table and dug his hands into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. It was only when he unfolded it that Kasy realized that it was the suicide letter, probably the second one.

CJ placed the rumpled paper next to the rule and Kasy's eyes widened. "Oh my God... The writing. It's the same."

She met CJ's eyes as he nodded once, his expression still bland.

"Wait, so... It's Annika?" Kasy asked as she stared head into thin air. "No, I can't believe it. It can't be... Annika Malan?"

CJ shrugged. "Well, you're right. It can't be Annika because it's not her writing."

Kasy wiped her head around so fast to look at CJ. "What?"

"I said it doesn't match Annika's writing."

"Seriously?" Kasy was almost lost in thought again before she realized something. "Wait, how do you of all people know what Annika's handwriting looks like?"

CJ looked like he wanted to roll his eyes but he didn't. "We're in the same class, and that's beside the point. And she wouldn't call herself a bitch."

"Okay, so if this isn't Annika then... It's worthless, we're still at square one."

CJ shook his head for some reason Kasy didn't know. "You're a dummy," he simply said without even looking at her.

Kasy opened her mouth and closed it, not knowing what to say. She finally resulted in folding her hands in front of her chest, all the while looking at CJ. "I'm going to pretend like you didn't call me a dummy and hear your reason, Mr. Detective."

CJ sighed like he was already tired of the whole thing. "Okay..." he trailed. "This is a meters rule, do you know what it is used for?"

Kasy scoffed. Was he trying to prove that she was dumb or what? "I'm not a science student but I know what meter rule is, CJ," she said as a matter-of-factly.

CJ only raised his eyebrows at her, obviously waiting for her to explain what the meter rule was.

"It-It's a big ruler!" Kasy exclaimed, gesturing with her hands.

CJ narrowed his eyes, looking a little confused and amused at the same time. He nodded once. "Okay... And you know this can only be found here, in the physics lab."

Kasy was going to snap and ask him to get to the point but she thought against it. CJ was unpredictable. He might just walk away without making his point. Kasy nodded.
Aske you said, you're not a science student," CJ said, "and since you're not a science student, how many times have you been in this lab?"

Kasy looked around the large physics lab as though the answer lied in the room. She shrugged. "The last time I was here was... In SS 1?"

"Exactly," CJ nodded. "And that's most likely applicable to every Art student."

"Okay..."

"Remember, we knew that the person writing the suicide letters was in our set. But we didn't know what particular class." CJ picked up the meter rule. "This proves that whoever has been leaving the letters for Ms. Esther-that's if it's not Annika herself-is definitely a science student."

Kasy thought about it. "Oh my..."

"I can bet that whoever inscribed this did it while class was going on. They were probably bored or something and just did it mindlessly."

Kasy understood perfectly what CJ was getting at. It was just like how she drew match figures during Mr. Eze's boring Economics class to pass time.

"So then, if it's not Annika, then who is it?" Kasy asked.

CJ shrugged. "It could still be Annika, anything is possible," he said. "But we're closer to finding this person because now, we're only looking at the science class. And someone who hates Annika."

"That's the problem. A lot of people hate her guts."

• • •

If there is anything good about Fridays asides from the fact that it marked the beginning of the weekend, then it would be the joy of hearing the bell for dismissal at 2 PM on the dot instead of the usual 4 PM for other days.

Students poured out of all corners of the school, eagerly leaving the school gate to go and begin the weekend or lingering around with friends.

Kasy thought it would be a good idea if she just headed to Dele's house immediately instead of going home first. Although his house wasn't that far from hers.

It took a while as she stood in front of the senior block, looking around to see if she could find Dele. She finally spotted him heading towards the black Mercedes Benz parked by the gate.

She ran towards him while calling his name. Luckily, he turned around to see her before he got to the car.

"Hey," he greeted, adjusting the straps on his bag.

"Hey," Kasy replied, a little breathless from running. "You're not walking home?"

Dele looked confused before Kasy motioned towards the car waiting for him. "Oh..." he understood the question, "I'm not going home. I'm going to get my dog from the veterinary clinic. He wasn't feeling well."

"Scott?"

"Stiles." Dele smiled at the fact that she still remembered their names.

"I was thinking we'd just go to your house from here."

"Oh..." Dele trailed. "I forgot. I should've told you I was going to get Stiles. I won't take long though."

Kasy thought about it. She wasn't sure if what she was thinking was a good idea but asked anyway, "can I come with you then?"

Dele shrugged. "Alright."

"Who's driving?" Kasy asked as they approached the car.

"My driver," Dele replied, opening the back door and motioning for her to get in.

The fragrance of Dele himself coupled with the air conditioner welcomed Kasy and instantly made her feel relaxed. She greeted the driver who only nodded in response before Dele got through the other door.

The car was neat. If Kasy didn't know that Dele's family had had this particular car for years, she would've thought it was brand new. Hell, even her dad couldn't keep a car this spotless, inside-out. But then again, the car was rarely ever used. It was like Dele's personal car, and since the boy preferred walking to school like every other person, he rarely used it.

Bamidele Desmond Akindele was never one to show off wealth. A lot of people who had money in Newland Secondary preferred staying on the low. But Kasy couldn't imagine how Dele would walk from the farthest part of the estate to school—which was right next to the entrance gates of Newland.

"I didn't know you had a driver," Kasy said after they had reached their destination and alighted the car. The drive to Gwagwalada had been a silent one with the radio being the only thing producing sound.

They were now in another estate of which Kasy had forgotten the name. There were too many estates in Abuja for her to memorize each one of them.

"I only call him when I need him, he's not a full-time driver," Dele explained as they approached the two-storey building which was the veterinary clinic. It was a yellow-painted building. It looked a little deserted.

"Why doesn't he drive you to school?'

Dele didn't know why Kasy was asking all these questions but he responded nonetheless. "Because I don't want him to."

"It's a long-distance to school from your house."

Dele shrugged. "It's exercise, and it helps me think. Besides it's only like ten minutes walk."

He had gotten rid of his tie and blazer and was now wearing only a white shirt with its sleeves folded up his elbow.

In no time, Stiles the German Shepard was brought to them and the doctor gave Dele some instructions while Kasy bent to pet the dog. Stiles didn't look like he was in the mood, he looked tired with the way his eyes kept shutting every now and then. He looked dull in general.

Dele was going to carry the dog to the car but Stiles looked like he could walk perfectly on his own. But at the rate with which he was walking, it would take forever for them to get to the car but Dele was patient, holding onto his leash.

Kasy admired the black and brown blend of the dog's fur, her favorite thing about it.

Before they got to the car, they locked eyes and held their gaze while walking. In the end, all they could do was simply smile and turn away.