So, yeah, we we're starting to know other people and some people weren't really happy about it. Like I said, we belonged to cliques and had our second halves.

Behind all the cliques and beneath all the competition, were secrets -burdens everyone carried alone. If only we'd looked closer, we would have realized that we weren't the only ones suffering.

You know the funny thing? Those who seemed normal, happy and admirable would end up being the ones that suffer the most.

How can you smile when you're dying inside? It seems impossible but some people were good at it.

◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ - ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈

Flipping of papers could be heard in the exam hall. The students had been well spaced out since there were only eleven of them taking the exam. They were taking the general paper now consisting of Physics, Chemistry and Biology for the Science students and Government, Christian Religious Studies and Literature in English for the Art students. It was an all-theory exam, no objectives and each subject had fifteen questions making it forty-five in total.

The fact that they were required to answer all questions made the exam harder than it should be. They all knew that none of them could get the whole two hundred marks at the end of the day but they were trying hard, one of them would score the highest at the end of the day and that person would be going to Germany.

Adam Somoye was the first to finish and submit. The others had to take a minute to watch him leave and wonder if he even knew what he'd written because obviously, the questions were tough and they were supposed to exhaust the entire two hours given to them as expected.

The bruise at the back of his head was giving him a headache and Adam couldn't possibly stay any longer, looking at CRS questions that felt like they were set by the disciples themselves.

A hand fell on his shoulder as soon as he'd entered the SS 2 floor. The hands
of course belonged to Zehan Essien who pulled Adam closer to his side.

"So, how was your exam?" Zehan beamed with so much energy. It was almost as though Zehan had been waiting for him to finish.

"Torture," Adam mumbled, sighing.

Zehan laughed. "I can imagine," he said. "Don't forget me when you go to Germany sha,"

Adam smiled and said, "I'm pretty sure I won't win. I wrote nonsense."

"Be positive, dude." Zehan was now behind Adam, pushing him with both hands on his shoulders towards his class.

The classroom was noisy with everyone doing different things like making videos, playing music, talking and laughing in general. Enock and Sola had been in one corner of the classroom, their lips smacking against each other and their hands not leaving the other's body.

"Is your class like this?" Adam asked Zehan referring to the noisy atmosphere.

"It's even worse," Zehan said as he settled down next to Adam, "I think they're playing truth or dare or something."

"Wow," Adam mumbled.

Just then, Kasy and Tamara walked into the class probably talking about the exam they'd written. Adam watched them while Zehan seemed to be looking for something in Adam's locker.

Tamara's eyes landed on Enock and Sola who were still making out like they weren't in public. A frown immediately found its way to the Chapel Prefect's face.

"Enock and Sola, look at what you're doing in class!" Tamara's voice was so loud that everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to look at her.

"Wetin this one dey yarn?" Someone yelled.

"You guys are very shameless. This is immoral and disgusting, God won't be happy with you," Tamara said again and Kasy immediately disappeared from her side on foreseeing what was about to happen.

Enock pulled away and turned to look at Tamara but Sola grabbed his chin and turned his head before she continued to kiss her boyfriend even more aggressively than before, she began unbuttoning his shirt and rubbing her hands on his chest just to rub it Tamara's face.

"If you continue like this you will go to hell...don't say I didn't tell you, the wages of sin is death-"

"Aunty you say what?!"

"Abeg, carry yansh commot for road!"

"Pastor Tamara we don hear you,"

Half of the class faced Tamara while the other half cheered Sola and Enock on as Enock was now wearing just his white singlet, his belt unbuckled and his hands making their way into Sola's skirt.

"Sola and Enock, don't let the wrath of God visit you o...your body is the temple of God...stop this nonsense you're doing," Tamara kept saying amidst the noise even as Enock and Sola stuck out their middle fingers at her while doing what the had been doing.

Tamara was still talking when an orange from nowhere landed on her forehead and she immediately kept mute and yelped in pain before running out of the classroom and the class had a good laugh.

"Orobo...see as everything dey shake," a boy at the back said and the class continued laughing as she ran out. "How person go fat like that, on top of that she ugly, come dey do Virgin Mary,"

They went on to discuss Tamara's plus size and laughed about it. Kasy was sure Tamara would cry if she heard these insults.

"If there's one lesson I've learned in this school, it's mind your fucking business," Adam said to Zehan.

"Yeah," Zehan mumbled in response, he thought of how people would've saved themselves so much embarrassment and heartache if only they minded their business in most situations.

Kasy was having a headache just as she'd predicted. She'd tried her best in the exam but she knew there was no way she'd win. She'd spent nearly the whole night chatting with Casper instead of revising. Adam and Tamara probably even had a better chance at winning.

Speaking of Casper, she didn't regret chatting with him late into the night, in fact, she longed for it. It made her feel important, wanted and worth something. Although she'd never seen him before, she loved the feeling of just having to chat with him.

Kasy pulled out her phone from a hidden space in her bag. She wasn't bordered about having it confiscated since most of the teachers were still upstairs, standing outside the NSP exam hall like a man whose wife had gone into labour.

She opened her Messenger app to see if Casper was online.

He wasn't.

But then he was.

It was almost as though he'd been waiting for her or probably, he'd heard her prayer. She loved seeing that bright green dot that indicated he was active.

Kasy K
Heyyyy
10:56AM

Casper Bassey
Bad girl. You now take phone to school. 😏😏
10:56AM

Kasy K
We're guilty of the same crime then
10:57AM

Casper Bassey
I'm in SS 3. It's legal 😜😜
10:57AM

Kasy K
Keep fooling yourself
10:57AM

Casper Bassey
Don't you have class now or...?
10:57AM

Kasy K
No, not really. Just finished writing this scholarship exam.
10:58AM

Casper was taking time in replying which was something he never did but Kasy figured that it was probably because he too was in school. It was then that Kasy realized that the classroom had gone dead silent.

"Kasy!"

Kasy jolted up and nearly threw her phone to the ground. She looked towards the door and saw Ms. Isong standing there in akimbo. She hadn't realized when a teacher had walked in and her classmates snickered and murmured softly probably about how careless she was. It was too late to hide the phone.

But fortunately, Ms. Isong wasn't interested in confiscating phones, she had much more important agenda. "My office, now," she instructed Kasy before walking away.

Kasy immediately shoved her phone into her small bag before grabbing the bag and running after the English teacher.

"I don't think that woman is the type that confiscates anything," Adam said to Zehan after witnessing how Kasy nearly got herself in trouble. Zehan on the other hand seemed to be looking for something in his bag. "Are you looking for something?"

"Em...no, nothing." Zehan zipped up his bag before turning to Adam. "What?" Zehan asked on seeing that his friend was staring at him.

"I just...well, I wanted to..." Adam trailed, he paused for a second and thought before shaking his head, "never mind."

Zehan looked confused, but he didn't push Adam into telling him what was on his mind. He too had other things he was thinking about.

• • •

Kasy followed Ms. Isong into the staffroom. This time most of the teachers were around and chatting loudly. Kasy tried to mumble a greeting each time she passed a desk but only few responded since most of them seemed so engrossed in their gossip.

"I won't be surprised if an SS 2 student wins the scholarship this year...those SS 3 students are all dullards," said Mr. Dimeji, the Literature teacher.

"Even the ones that wrote the exam today didn't even look like they knew what they were writing. Some of them were looking towards the door to see if I'd come on and help them but you know they don't allow teachers into the hall, I had no choice," Mrs Martha, the CRS teacher said and the teachers continued chattering away but Kasy wasn't paying attention to them anymore.

"They dropped another one," whispered Ms. Isong after she'd taken her seat behind her desk and pulled out a rough looking piece of paper.

It took Kasy a few seconds to realize what the teacher meant when she mentioned they and dropping another one.

"Another letter?" Kasy voiced her suspicion.

"This time it's directed to me," Ms. Isong mumbled, looking at the piece of paper in her hand like it would speak to her any minute.

"What?" Kasy's eyes were wide open with shock.

"Yes," Ms. Isong looked up at Kasy, "Where's CJ?"

"I don't know, I don't think he's in school..." Kasy trailed. "Besides, I'm sure he's going to say it's a prank if he were here and to be honest, I'm starting to think that too,"

Ms. Isong sighed. "It doesn't feel like a prank, Kasy. My gut tells me there's something wrong somewhere...someone somewhere in this school is in need of help."

"But why you? Why us? Why must we be the ones to help them?" Kasy asked. "It's just starting to feel a little bit childish and unreasonable. I'm starting to think CJ was right from the beginning,"

"Well, my spirit tells me differently," Ms. Isong replied, "and if you guys don't want to help me anymore, it's fine but make your decision after reading this," she outstretched the piece of paper to Kasy who collected it and had an overview of the words.

This time, the letter was written with blue ink.

That was enough to cross Amira Yusuf off the suspect list. The girl never used anything that wasn't a black pen. And besides, Kasy had taken a peak at Amira's notes, this was definitely not her writing.

But then, there was something else.

"I swear this handwriting it so familiar...like, I know this person... I'm sure I've seen this writing before but I just can't remember who," Kasy whined, her expression a distorted and confused kind.

"Then it's someone close to you. Any of your friends, maybe?" Ms. Isong suggested, silently praying that Kasy would just remember who the writing belonged to.

She shook her head. She wasn't recalling anything.

Kasy had seen that particular handwriting before but it must've been just once. If she had seen it more than once then she would've instantly known who it belonged to.

"I just don't know..." Kasy trailed.

The writing was unique. It was slanted and very curvy at the same time. The alphabets were very bold and thick. It wasn't your regular handwriting, it was very peculiar and Kasy was sure that was what she thought the very first time she must've seen it. Why couldn't she remember?

Ms. Isong sighed out of frustration. She rubbed her fingers against her forehead. "Take it with you, read the letter, look at it properly and try to remember."

• • •

Tari alighted the Taxi with Ahmed following her closely.

She still couldn't stop staring at him. He was wearing a plain black T-shirt and black jeans to match. Ahmed had shiny black hair which he always had in a low cut either by his personal preference or his parent's strictness reflecting on him.

Tari thought the scar on his face resembled a tribal mark, in fact, most people thought it was a tribal mark but Amira had told her otherwise. She knew the story behind the scar.

Ahmed turned to catch Tari's stare but looked away almost immediately. "This one you just dey look me," he mumbled.

"Why did you come?" Tari found herself asking the same question she'd asked him a hundred times in the park.

They were standing in front of the clinic and Ahmed had been taking in his surroundings. He turned to Tari and grinned for a second without saying anything.

"You think this is funny?" Tari asked him, "I know you're going to blab to Annika and then I'll be a laughing stock. If that's your plan then you better go, please." She made to walk away, but as she'd expected, Ahmed's firm hands dragged her back.

"Wetin concern Annika?" Ahmed asked, looking very sincere and pure. That was one of the reasons Tari had agreed to go with him in the first place—she never knew Ahmed Yusuf could look and sound so honest.

Tari and Ahmed had never really had any confrontations, they barely even crossed paths in school but for the fact that Annika and Tari were basically at war with each other and Ahmed was a loyal member of Annika's clique, Tari couldn't trust him.

If Tari Disemi had ever found out that Annika Malan was pregnant and planning to have an abortion, she knew what she would do next; Tari would make sure that the whole world found out. Unfortunately, things were the other way round and what scared Tari most wasn't the fact that Annika might find out. She was scared because she didn't know what someone like Annika would do with that piece of information.

"Then, Ahmed, tell me why you came? What are you doing here?" They were standing face to face and Ahmed couldn't help but grin each time he saw Tari's supposed mean face. She looked a mess, no doubt and maybe that's why her demeanor was funny to him.

Ahmed shrugged. "You been dey sound desperate," he said.

"Don't give me that crap again," Tari said, "What are you expecting in return? Are you here just to mock me?"

Tari thought it was stupid of her to be saying these things after they'd already gotten to the clinic and with the way Ahmed rolled his eyes, he was thinking the same thing.

She had agreed to go with for three reasons.

One: even if she had refused to go with him, it still wouldn't have changed the fact that he had seen her message and he knew she was pregnant and seeking abortion.

Two: if she didn't get the abortion over and done with that day, it might be too late, she might never get the opportunity again and seeing that no one else was coming to her aid, she had to go with Ahmed, since he knew already, he might as well be useful.

Three: he'd sounded very convincing and was strangely, surprisingly, very...comforting.

"Why you come dey para for me now?" Ahmed asked, annoyance lacing his tone, "I do bad thing because I say I won help you?"

Tari's guard was down once again.

Which ever way she wanted to look at it, she didn't have much of a choice anymore. She just had to go through with it with her best friend's brother being the only person by her side.

• • •

Amira had an awful feeling and she was sure it wasn't exam fever. She had been thinking of Tari throughout the exam and she couldn't stop wondering why she had called that morning. She was finally feeling like the worst friend on earth.

Amira approached Kasy who seemed lost in her thought as she walked down the passage, heading towards her class with her backpack on her back and the letter Ms. Isong had given her in her hand.

"Hey, Kasy," Amira walked up behind Kasy, making her turn around.

"Hey," Kasy mumbled.

"You're with your phone, right? I need to make an urgent call," Amira pleaded with Kasy.

"Uh..." Kasy furrowed her bushy eyebrows for a second, looking confused and distant for a split second, "yeah, yeah, of course."

"Thanks, let's go to my class." Amira led the way into the Science class and over to her desk in the third row and fourth column. Amira opened her bag and retrieved a jotter where she'd penned down Tari's number the first time she'd given it to her.

Kasy handed Amira her phone, looking confused and wondering who she needed to call and why it was so urgent.

Amira began dialing the number while looking down at the floor with her hand on her waist. It was ringing but there was no answer.

Kasy got tired of watching a worried looking Amira and looked towards the door just in time to see Dele walk into the class, looking like he was being pushed. He approached Annika's desk where the Head Girl was seated and chatting with the Head Boy. Kasy couldn't hear what they were saying but Dele had interrupted them and looked like he was going to say something important.

Amira was dialing Tari's number for the fourth time while Kasy tried to find out what Dele was saying.

"Hey, guy, I just wanted to apologize," Dele mumbled with his hands in his pockets and his gaze on the tiled floor. Annika who was seated next to Timi looked from the Head Boy to his fidgeting Deputy who looked like he was going to pee on himself. "Sorry for the other day, what I said was...uncalled for and I didn't mean it," Dele was now speaking through gritted teeth.

Timi wasn't looking at Dele, in fact, he also found the tiled floor very interesting and Annika just silently watched the two boys.

Timi adjusted his glasses. "It's okay. It's fine."

Dele looked up at Timi who wasn't looking at him and then turned to Annika as if to confirm if she'd just heard him apologize. Annika's expression remained neutral.

"Okay, cool...thanks." And Dele awkwardly walked away after that. No bro handshake, no path on the shoulder, nothing.

Annika knew Dele well and if anything, he didn't mean a single word that had come out if his mouth. But she also knew Timi too and with the way he murderously glared at the innocent tiles, he didn't care if Dele's apology was sincere or not, he wasn't having any of it.

"Tim, you're okay, right?" Annika asked although she most likely knew the answer to that. "He apologized, it's fine now, right?"

Timi looked up at her and gave a fake smile, he didn't think she would be able to tell the difference but she was. "Yeah, yeah. Fine."

"Uhm... Kasy, thanks," Amira's voice distracted Kasy from staring at Annika and Timi any longer. She turned to see Amira giving back her phone with a dissapointed look.

"They didn't pick up?" Kasy asked, collecting the phone.

Amira shook her head. "In case she calls back, tell her to call me. That's Tari's number."

"Sure." Kasy replied as she watched Amira sit down and begin unpacking her bag. Nevertheless, she looked worried which made Kasy wonder; could there be something going on with Tari?

• • •

The last time Tari had been to the clinic for expectant and lactating mothers, there weren't much people in the reception. Only few people knew that the clinic carried out abortions. It wasn't a big place, the clinic was on the last floor of the commercial building.

With pregnant women coming in for antenatal and all what not, the reception was a little noisy and Tari hadn't heard her phone ringing in her purse. The sound of her heart beating against her chest was enough to block out every other sound and observation. If only she wasn't panicking so much, she might've noticed that Ahmed was the only male in the reception. Hell, she had even forgotten that the Disciplinary Prefect was sitting next to her.

One thing Tari was thankful for was the fact that this wasn't Newland Estate and no one knew her. Hopefully, someone she knew wouldn't show up from nowhere either because that would be a disaster. Most of the people that attended her father's church lived in the estate and she was thankful for that but she still couldn't remain at ease.

Coupled with the fear of getting seen by someone, a lot of things were going through Tari's mind. She could feel the anxiety and panic kicking in as she watched the pregnant women who were seated and chatting loudly in the reception. Some of them gave her and Ahmed dirty looks and that made Tari feel worse about what she was about to do. If Ahmed noticed the stares then he didn't show it.

"Anyone who carries out abortion is a murderer."

"You're not the one who created that life so why would you want to take it?"

"Why would someone want to take an innocent life? A life that might impact many other lives in the future. A soul that might touch other souls. Why would someone want to take that away?"

"How would you feel if you were deprived life even before you had the chance to decide if you wanted to live? That's exactly what these murderers are doing in the name of abortion."

Those were the exact words of Pastor Mrs. Dora Disemi during a women's convention the previous year.

Tari thought of every possible way she had gone against her parent's words and preaching ever since she was conceived and she began to shiver slightly.

Everything was becoming too overwhelming. It was taking everything in her to not burst into tears right there in the reception. But then felt those firm, strong hands envelope hers on the armrest.

"Calm down," she heard Ahmed whisper before she turned to look at him.

So he'd noticed her trembling? How did he have that reassuring look in eyes like he was so sure everything would be fine?

Ahmed nodded as if that was his way of saying, "It's going to be fine."

Tari found herself smiling warily. She was feeling much better but her vision was already clouded with tears.

It wasn't till the doctor and shown up and called on her that she realised that she was still holding hands with Ahmed as they followed the doctor to her office.

"I explained the procedure last time, do you want me to go through it again?" The brown skinned woman in a white coat smiled warmly.

Tari shook her head immediately. "No."

"Alright then," the doctor mumbled, "I'll just need you and your companion to sign something." She retrieved a few documents from the pile of papers on her desk and handed piece of paper to Tari.

Tari knew what the paper entailed. Basically, the clinic wouldn't be blamed for anything whatsoever that happened to Tari during or after the procedure and Ahmed was required to sign too as a witness.

They both signed on the paper where their signatures were required and after that the doctor still went on to explain the procedure again even when Tari had asked her not to. The doctor explained that it was better she was awake during the process because things could get complicated if she was asleep. She also mentioned that she would be able to go home feeling little or no pain.

Tari squeezed Ahmed's hands as they both listened attentively to the woman, she still hadn't let go.

Later on, Ahmed was given the option of waiting in the office or waiting in the reception when it was time for Tari to go with the doctor.

It was when Tari looked back at Ahmed before walking out the door that she realized that he looked scared but he was trying not to show it. She thought Ahmed might've actually even been more nervous than she was.

Tari left with the doctor while Ahmed stayed back in the office, both their hearts beating in simultaneous anxiety and panic.

• • •

Kasy sat on her bed, chatting away her time with her new internet friend Casper. But when he finally had to go, she got bored and remembered something.

The letter.

She hadn't had the time to read it in school. She had to read it and decide if it was worth it.

She unzipped her bag, retrieved her English notebook and pulled out the piece of paper she had earlier sandwiched in the middle. She went back to her bed and sat yoga style before proceeding to read the letter.

Dear Ms. Isong,

Nothing has changed. Remember when I said the air choked me? Well, now I think I'm actually being deprived of air. I'm sorry for sounding like a stupid, silly coward but no one gets me, no one sees my pain. I look okay but I'm not, I'm not fine. I don't know why I keep reaching out to you since I don't want to reveal my identity but maybe I feel that you could help me but then again, a part of me feels like you might see me as a silly teenager who thinks they're going through the worst. You might not know my identity now but when the news comes, everyone will know. The news of my death.
They will know I took my life but they wouldn't know why. They wouldn't know my story. At the end of the day, maybe I'm just stupid for wanting to end my life but I can't help it, it's the only thing I can think of. Each time I think I'm going to do it, there seems to be hope but then, it shatters and makes me feel worse than before. I still don't think this life was for me.

I'm just tired. I'm sorry.

Yours truly,
Unknown.