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thirteen - the life i want

"That shower is really good. I tell you what: they got the temperature spot on with—" As Levi leaves the en-suite bathroom, he finds himself cutting his own speech off, as he notices the scene before him. On the double bed he shares with George, he is greeted with the adorable sight of his sweet husband asleep, with Gemma and Kieran nestled in either side of him; they are also in a restful slumber. He smiles, a sense of pride taking over his trivial opinions of the hotel facilities; he hurriedly grabs his phone, to capture the moment before any of them wake up. With a couple of photos taken, he places his phone back on the bedside table to charge, before taking a seat on the chair in the corner of the room. He doesn't wish to disturb the trio — after all, George had an incredibly restless night; and the children have had a busy day. Levi appears to be the only one with the stamina to remain awake, so he uses this time to have a think over life as a whole.

His conscious is neither empty nor full; yet, it feels simultaneously as though it is both. He evaluates to himself that he is thoroughly enjoying his trip in London with George and the kids — although, he acknowledges that there are elements that are hindering his partner's experience. The most obvious factor, of course, is Mack; Levi is aware that the chance meetings are incredibly strange to say the least — but at the end of the day, he doesn't find any harm in the occurrences. Another aspect is the fact that George is very-clearly trying to push the passing of his mother to the back of his mind for the sake of their children. Levi wishes that George didn't have to bear the burden of such a heavy loss; but alas, he also knows that death is a natural part of life, and as sad as it is, there isn't anything he can do to prevent it. On the plus side, he has observed that George has seemed a lot more positive today than he has in the last couple of weeks — whether this is a result of his purposeful mental block or not, is another question.

His mind continues to tick on, with his trance-like state causing him to lose himself in his own little world while the rest of his family sleep.

• • •

"Bloody hell." The sound of George's gravelly voice, a couple of hours later, finally brings Levi away from his own mind.

"Sleep well?" Levi interrogates in a hushed tone, as the children are still asleep.

"My head is pounding," George groans. "Why did you let me fall asleep? I always get headaches if I sleep in the day time."

"You needed the rest," Levi explains. "You got two hours last night. At least now, you've had a bit more."

George heaves a sigh; when he finds he cannot lift his arms affectively, he realises that Gemma and Kieran are laid on him. "I didn't even realise they were sleeping on me."

"It's adorable," Levi comments. "I think you all crashed at the same time. I got a photo."

"I'm the ugliest sleeper in the world," George self-deprecates. "I hope you covered my face before taking this photo."

"Of course I didn't." Levi unlocks his phone to show George the image he caught. "Look how cute you guys are."

"I look disgusting." George visibly recoils at the sight of him sound asleep, choosing to focus more on Gemma and Kieran instead. "At least the kids look cute in it, though."

"You all do," Levi corrects him. "But anyway, did you want me to go and grab some paracetamol from the corner shop down the road? So that you can actually function for the rest of the day."

"Would you?" George gives him an over-the-top forlorn expression. "Thank you, my darling."

"It's fine. I won't be long." Levi grabs his jacket, making sure he takes a keycard with him so he can re-access the building upon returning. He exits the room, leaving George alone with the kids.

The first thing George does once Levi is out of earshot, is gently free himself from his offspring; then, he unlocks his phone to find Andrew's number. He clicks his best friend's name, bringing the phone to his ear. It rings for a few seconds, before he hears the perky voice of his partner in crime.

"Hey, Yog. You alright?"

"Hi, Andy. Look," George replies, as he thinks how to word his situation. "Levi has made this new friend while we've been here in London. But this guy ... he's everywhere. He's staying in the same hotel as us. He was in the same pod on The London Eye as us. It's starting to feel creepy. But the thing is, he seems obsessed with Levi. He doesn't ever acknowledge me."

"Bloody hell," Andrew cackles. "I wasn't expecting you to open up the conversation with this."

"I'm being serious," George asserts. "I'm worried that he's going to try it on with Levi. Whenever we bump into him, he speaks to Levi and doesn't even look my way. I can't lie — it just reminds me of how inferior I feel to Levi."

"Inferior?" Andrew repeats, more for his own interpretational benefit than out of misunderstanding. "Why would you feel inferior to your husband?"

"Because." George frowns, knowing this insecurity stems back to the very start of their relationship. "Because I've always felt like he's too good for me. I know he would disagree. But, it's hard to shake off the lack of self-confidence. This guy ... if you ignore the strange coincidences, he's incredibly attractive. Not to me, per se, but ... it's not as if he'd struggle with getting any guy he wanted, based purely off his looks."

"So, to clarify, what are you more insecure about? Levi fancying this stranger, or the stranger fancying Levi?"

"Both?" George suggests uncertainly. "Neither? Him fancying Levi? Levi fancying—I don't know." George shakes his head, despite knowing Andrew can't see this action. "I-I just feel as though, you know ... if somebody like this guy is able to get on so well with Levi, then, you know, why is Levi wasting time with me?"

"Because Levi loves you, you tosspot." Andrew chuckles down the line at his friend's hesitance. "He married you, and has spent nearly three decades with you. You are all he knows. I honestly wouldn't worry about it. Not even slightly."

"Why don't I feel good enough?" George asks hopelessly; this single question is enough to bring small tears to his eyes. "Why do I never feel good enough?"

"Because you're struggling with everything right now," Andrew assures him. "And it's normal. But once you're properly back on your feet, you'll realise you're just thinking irrationally. Mate, Levi adores you beyond words. Your marriage is unbreakable. Some random guy isn't going to come between you both."

George doesn't answer at first; for he takes a moment to think over what Andrew is saying. It's easy for him to automatically flit to the worst case scenario, what with being in such a turmoiled state as of late. Perhaps, there's a chance that what Andrew is telling him comes from a place of rationality — Andrew tends to have a clear mind the majority of the time, which makes way for reasonable logic. "Okay. I ... just needed to hear somebody else say it. Sorry for getting all antsy for no reason."

"You can call me whenever you want to, George. You're my best mate, remember?" Andrew's tone is a comforting combination of jokey, and sincere. "Now, enjoy London with the kids. I'll have to pop by and say hello before you go back to Goring, anyway."

"I'll hold you to that," George teases. "Thank you. I'll text you later on."

"Alright. Bye for now, Yog."

"Buh-bye. Bye." George hangs up, at seemingly the perfect time — Gemma wakes up from her nap, wearily searching the mattress for something; to no avail.

"Daddy?" she whimpers, still half-asleep. "Where's my cat?"

"Maybe it's under the bed," George suggests; this encourages his daughter to clamber off the bed to check. "Is it there?"

"No." She starts to panic a little, rushing clumsily around the room in an attempt to locate her beloved teddy. "It's not under the bed. It's not in my bag. I don't see it anywhere."

"Do you remember having it with you after The London Eye?" George interrogates, to try and gauge where she could have lost it.

Gemma ponders over this for a second, before shaking her head. "No, Daddy."

"Ah." George's face contorts sadly for her, at the sudden awareness that she may have lost the plush animal during their trip around the city. "I-I don't think you're going to find him, sweetheart."

"What do you mean?" Gemma's emerald eyes fill with tears. "I want to find him."

"I think he's lost in London somewhere," George reveals nervously. "B-But it's alright. If we can't find him, we'll take you back to the toy shop and you can buy another one."

"But I like my cat," she sniffles. "The cat I chose myself in the toy shop."

"I know. I know." George brings her into his arms, to settle her a little. "But you never know — we may find your cat. Don't give up hope yet."

The sound of the room door unlocking interrupts their conversation; Levi re-enters, with a box a paracetamol. "What did I miss?"

"Gem's lost her cat," George answers. "I've told her we may have to buy a new one if we can't find hers."

"Aw, Gem." Levi hands the tablets to his husband, before ruffling her dark hair with his fingers. "We'll get it sorted, don't you worry."

• • •

After an hour or so of intense searching, Levi hears his phone alerting him to a text message. Out of curiosity, he heads over to the device, noting that a notification has come through from an unrecognised number.

Found your daughter's cat toy after you got off the London eye. It's mack btw x

"I've got some good news," Levi announces, glancing up from his phone. "I know where your cat is, Gem."

"Where is it?" she presses, excitedly. "Can you get me him? Ple-ease?"

"That man has him," Levi explains. "I'll ask him what room he's in, and I'll go and grab him for you."

"Yay!" Gemma squeals. "Thank you Daddy!"

Levi picks up his phone again, to type back to the message.

You're a lifesaver! One very happy girl here with me. What room are you in? I'll come and grab it off you.

Only moments after he has clicked Send, he receives a response; he scans his eyes over it to note down the room number.

Room 314. I'm in here now if you want to stop by x

Levi taps his forefinger against the screen, to type back.

Brilliant. I'll be there in two minutes.

"Right." Levi picks up a keycard once again, venturing towards the door of the room. "I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm going to get Gem's cat." He leaves the room, walking down the long corridor to make his way to the lifts. He presses the Call button to summon them to his floor; the middle set of doors open, so he steps inside and scans his keycard, before pressing the button for Floor Three. He stands and waits, while the doors close and the cramped box he's in sails up to the next level. Once he has reached Floor Three, he finds himself walking at a quickened pace for no apparent reason; perhaps just to get himself out of the corridor he's in. Finally, he approaches room 314; coming face-to-face with the door, he knocks against it three times with a firm hand.

Moments later, he is greeted by the increasingly-familiar face. "Hey, Levi. Come in."

"I don't want to stop for too long," Levi tells him. "My daughter is waiting very impatiently in our room, for her cat. She only got him today, and she's already in love with him." A laugh accompanies his words.

"It's a good job I found it then, isn't it?" Mack reasons. "Otherwise you'd have had a very upset little girl, I'm sure."

"Absolutely." Levi walks further into the room, elaborating briefly on his previous words. "Thank you so much for keeping hold of it for her. It's really appreciated."

"It's nothing," Mack dismisses. "Anything for a good friend."

Levi picks up on Mack's kind words, but chooses not to respond to them in any kind of way to avoid any potentially-risky situation escalating. Of course, he doubts anything would occur anyway — but he also acknowledges George's apprehensiveness about this stranger, and he values his partner's feelings. "So, uh, I'll just take the cat and be on my way, then."

"Oh — you don't have to," Mack points out speedily. "You could stop just for a quick drink. I have some good stuff."

"That's not necessary," Levi declines politely; behind Mack, he spots the toy cat, so he makes his way over to it to take it. "Like I said, I'll just take the cat and leave you to it."

"Family is overrated," Mack speaks suddenly, taking Levi by surprise. "I don't know why you bother with it."

Levi spins on his heels to look at Mack, puzzled. "Where's this coming from?"

"A good-looking guy like you should be letting your hair down," Mack comments further, slowly pacing towards Levi. "But yet you're settled — married with kids. What kind of life is that?"

"The life I want to lead," Levi responds smartly, deciding it's best to escape from this awkward situation as soon as he can. "But anyway, I must go now."

"Hang on."

The call back fixes Levi to the spot. "What?"

"You're a good guy, Levi." Mack uses Levi's frozen demeanour to his advantage, closing the gap between them by walking closer to him. "You deserve all the good that comes your way."

"Thanks." Levi is unsure of where the conversation is going, but he is aware that it's going in an entirely different direction to the one he intended.

"This may seem like a random thing to say," Mack starts, "but I've actually fucked up a lot of people's relationships ... because people can't tend to resist me."

"That's truly fascinating," Levi compliments halfheartedly. "Speaking of relationships — I must get back to George and the kids."

He lifts the toy cat from the desk, before rushing to the room door. Before he can make it out, however, he feels a harsh grab on his hand; he doesn't have the time to process what's happening, before the unfamiliar lips of the stranger press harshly to his own in an unsolicited kiss. His immediate reaction is the morally correct one; he pushes Mack away from him aggressively, with an angered expression on his chiselled face.

• • •

Chapter thirteen! What's about to go down? xx

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