George remains silent for a minute, turning his back on Stephanie so she doesn't see his expression of panic. He thinks fast, deciding now isn't the best time to reveal the truth to her — particularly when she's already furious. He lifts the phone from off the floor, holding it sheepishly to his ear once again.

"Uh, I have to go now, M-Martin," he stammers anxiously, hoping with all his heart that his excuse works. "Stephanie just walked in. She's heard us talking. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Uh, yes, bright and early," he continues. "Buh-bye. Bye." To rid the horrible lump that's formed in his oesophagus, he swallows harshly; then, he places the phone back down on its receiver, before anxiously rotating his body to see his riled-up girlfriend glaring at him.

"Why the fuck are you telling Martin you're in love with him?" She looks confused more than anything, although frustration is still evident on her face.

"Why the fuck are you home so early?" George retorts, checking the time on the wall clock. "It's only seven o'clock. You're meant to finish work at midnight."

"I finished all my work. I got sent home. I figured we could have a nice evening, but obviously you want to ... confess your love for your boss?" Her bewilderment continues, as she slips past George and enters the living room. "Can you explain what the heck that's about?"

"Of course." George can't help but feel hopeful that she will believe his lie, as he follows her to the sofa. "It's really only innocent. I don't fancy my boss or anything."

"So?" Steph remains persistent with her interrogation, evaluating that she won't stop asking questions until she's satisfied with the answers. "Go ahead and explain, then."

"I was ... talking on the phone about y-you," George elaborates. "Um, I was actually reading my diary entries to him. That's why you heard me talking about being in love and stuff. I'm assuming you could hear me outside the front door."

"You were talking about me?" Her anger softens a little, but she's still apprehensive about what he's saying. "So if you've written all this stuff about me in your diary, then how come I'm never allowed to read it?"

"Because." George glances down at his lap, not feeling quite confident enough to make eye contact with her. "Because I just like my privacy. Not everything in there is about you. I just write feelings in there that I'm not brave enough to speak out loud."

"I see." She twiddles her thumbs awkwardly, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed for her outburst before she knew the 'facts'. "I'm sorry. It just sounded so strange without the context. I hope you understand why I got angry."

"Of course I do." He moves closer to her, placing an arm around her shoulders. "But you don't need to worry about what goes on in this silly book here. Anything important, you'll be the first to know about. Alright?" He places a gentle kiss on her forehead, despite his personal objections to this action in his mind.

She nods, finally feeling that he is being truthful with her. "Alright. Thank you for explaining to me. It does make sense now. But ... why were you reading it all to your boss?"

George hesitates; he hasn't thought of an excuse for this question. He runs his tongue over his upper lip to buy himself a few seconds more, before speaking. "Well, it was just relevant to the conversation I guess. We were talking about, um, his wife. And so I decided to talk about you as well. Because you're ... my partner." He curses at himself silently, at how poor of a lie this is; however, he knows he cannot undo what he's said now. "Um, you see, he was just telling me about how her birthday is coming up. And h-he was telling me that he's planning to write something for her. Like a letter or something. A-And so I was giving him ideas based on what I've written, about love."

"That's so sweet of you," Stephanie smiles. "But why have you never read this stuff to me before? Just the stuff about me, I mean."

"Well, I guess I just got shy. And I'd like to think you know how I feel already," George continues, feeling guilty for keeping this untruthfulness going. "So I just figured that I didn't need to say it. And besides, I want to save the mushy stuff for ... the future. When it may need to come up in a speech of sorts."

"A wedding speech?" Stephanie's face lights up at the idea. "You mean, you're thinking about that seriously?"

George's breath catches in his throat; he realises that the more he speaks, the bigger of a hole he's digging himself. "W-Well, never say never." He is satisfied with his typical dismissal, and hopes she will be too.

"Is that a hint that something could be developing soon?" Stephanie presses; the speed at which her mood has transformed from fury to excitement is laughable to George.

He gives a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck with his fingers. "Well, I wouldn't want to say either way, really. Where's the surprise element in that, hey?"

She squeals, taking his vagueness as a solid answer. "Oh my gosh, George!" She grabs a hold of his arm with both hands, squeezing tightly to vent some of her extreme happiness. "This is so exciting! B-But I won't say anything else." She withdraws from him, miming the act of sealing a zipper over her mouth. "I'll just let you get on with it. Whenever you're ready, babe. Whenever you're ready. My ring size is an L, by the way — just in case you were wondering." She giggles like a little girl, but covers her face with her hand to suppress this. "Like I said, not saying a word more about it."

"You've said many words about it," George snaps back playfully. "But I suppose I won't hold a grudge." He heaves a near-silent sigh, leaning back into the sofa to simmer hopelessly in all of the lies he has just spilt.

"So, do I get to hear the rest of these diary entries you've written about me?" Stephanie asks, which causes George to cringe slightly. "I mean, you don't need to be embarrassed about it."

"Tell you what — I'll read them to you on our wedding day, if we make it that far," George vows. "And I don't want you to get all insecure about the 'if', because we've been through that argument before."

"I'm not insecure, don't worry." She grins, to assure him that she's being truthful. "And I mean, if you're already thinking about marriage, then why would I be insecure?"

"Fair point," George evaluates. "But you'll have to wait to hear the diary entries. You realise this, right?"

"It'll be worth the wait," she decides, sitting back on the sofa next to him. "Anyway, I won't say anything else."

"I'll give you three minutes, tops, to bring it back up again." George laughs, draping an arm around her; he pulls her into his chest, realising that the reason why he's being so kind to her is due to the guilt he's feeling about cheating. He's aware that he needs to tell her what's going on, but he also knows that this moment isn't a good time — particularly after they've just discussed marriage. With his face out of Steph's sight due to her positioning on him, he frowns, as the anxiety returns about confessing to her. He was feeling alright until she returned from work; now, there's a horrible aching in his stomach.

"So, what did you want to do with the evening now?" Stephanie enquires. "Because we have a few hours until bed, still."

"I'm not sure really. Maybe just a quiet night in with some snacks. But we don't have anything in," George informs her, glancing up at the clock. "It's still pretty early in the evening. Maybe you could go to the shops and choose some stuff for us, and I'll sort out a film to watch on TV." His plan is derived more from the desire to call Levi back and explain what has just happened while she's absent, rather than because he genuinely likes the idea of watching a movie with her.

"Sounds great." She quite literally leaps up from her seat. "Any preferences on what you want?"

"Surprise me, babe." His chest flips at the sickly nickname he just blurted, but he tries to play this off with a simple smile. "Get whatever you like. Doesn't matter the cost. I'll pay you back later."

She bends down to kiss him quickly. "This is going to be so much fun! I'll be back as soon as I can." She opens the living room door; giving him a quick wave before she disappears out of sight. George waits for the front door to slam shut; once he hears this, his solitude is confirmed, so he makes a dash for the phone to call Levi again. He dials the number, holding the phone to his ear; after a few rings, George gets the answer he hoped for.

"Hello?"

"Me again," George chuckles, still a little shaken from the remorse he's feeling. "I've sent Stephanie to the shop to buy snacks. That was too close for comfort."

"What excuse did you give her?" Levi gasps. "She heard you reading the diary about me, didn't she? From what I gathered, anyway."

"Yeah, she did. I gave her some bullshit about how the diary entries were about her. I was reading them to my boss to give him inspiration for writing a love letter to his wife, or something."

"And you're telling me she bought that?" The inflection in Levi's tone suggests he's surprised by this.

"Somehow, yeah. Although it did spark a conversation about marriage, which I didn't really want."

"Oh man — you didn't propose to her, did you? Especially when you'll be leaving her soon."

"Soon isn't quite the word I'd use," George corrects him, expelling a breath from his mouth. "I still can't bring myself to tell her. And besides, how do you and I know that we will stand the test of time, either?"

"You sound a little insecure," Levi murmurs. "Are you insecure about what we have?"

"Insecure isn't the right word. It's just ... never say never to anything, you know?" George feels a little disappointed at his own sudden change of attitude, but he realises he can't help it. "Sorry. Being around Stephanie when she's so lacking in confidence ... it kind of rubs off on me a bit."

"You need to know that I don't intend to ever mess you around," Levi reassures him. "You mean a lot to me, George. I know we aren't anything crazily official, and I know it's a lot of sneaking around. But once Stephanie knows the truth, we can finally be ourselves for the whole world to see — and it'll be wonderful."

"It's just a case of figuring out when she will find out," George intercepts. "Because right now, the idea of admitting any of this to her makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don't know if I can do that to her."

"Well, I'm not saying you have to do it yet. But obviously, the further you and I progress — the more urgent it'll become." Levi's words are kind, and comforting; he knows how frightening it can be to hide such an important part of oneself, and he doesn't wish to make it any more difficult for the man he cares so strongly for. "It isn't urgent yet; we've only had this going on for today so far. We have a whole lifetime."

"I'm glad you're not mad about me holding off for now," George says, softly; he feels strangely vulnerable about the situation he's gotten himself into. "Because you know how much I lo—" He stops himself from saying the word; he doesn't know if he's quite ready to say something so strong yet. "Like you."

"Of course I know how much you lo—like me," Levi mimics playfully. "And I really lo—like you too. And I don't see that changing."

Levi's voice, mixed with the sincerity of what he's saying doesn't fail to send a beautiful rush through George's body; he feels his heart thudding through his ribcage, but for once it isn't so much from nerves. He can't resist the smile that spreads across his lips, as he continues talking. "Well, I don't see it changing either. But we can't go assuming it won't."

"I'm willing to take the risk for you," Levi flirts gently. "But for now, I'm not willing to take the risk of Steph coming home while you're talking to me for a second time. You better go." A low snicker accompanies his response.

"I suppose you're right." Knowing he has to end the call fills George with sadness; but alas, he knows he has no choice. "I'll try to call you tomorrow. And the next day. And the one after. Until I get to see you again."

"We'll make it happen soon. I promise." Levi gives a drawn-out breath, feeling just as sorrowful about concluding the conversation as George. "Have a nice evening. I'll be thinking about you."

"At least my dreams will be all-the-more sweet tonight," George answers, not caring how disgusting his cutesy remarks may be. "I hope yours will be, too. Goodnight, Levi."

"Goodnight, my darling."

George waits for the beep to signify that Levi has ended the call; however, it doesn't come. He keeps the phone to his ear, wondering if Levi is expecting George to end it instead.

"Are you going?" George utters, amused.

"You go," Levi demands quietly.

"Goodness me," George chuckles. "Alright. Second time lucky. Goodnight, Levi."

"Goodnight, sweet Georgios."

George makes quick work of ending the call, knowing that he'd only put off doing it if he stayed on the line any longer. As soon as the phone is back on its receiver, the pang of heartbreak invades once more; he heads back into the living room, to take a seat on the sofa again while he waits for Stephanie to return. He hadn't dared to use the word 'love' while talking to Levi just now; he knows it would be far too soon to say it. However, with the level of unexplainable giddiness he feels whenever they talk to or see one another, he is finding it progressively more difficult to justify how he views this man, in any other way.

But, perhaps this isn't love yet? Maybe it's just a spur-of-the-moment, rushed honeymoon phase as part of a meaningless fling between two closeted gay men? George racks his brain to evaluate the likelihood of this option; of course, no relationship is guaranteed to last a lifetime, but the way he perceives Levi is entirely different to the way he has ever perceived anybody. There's a good chance that, even with only knowing Levi for a couple of months, what he's experiencing is genuinely love. He decides that he won't give it a label as of yet; it's too early to know for sure, so there's no use in dwelling.

His thoughts are disturbed, when he finally hears the front door; as Stephanie enters the room reeling off her experience at the shop, George can't help but focus more on his own internal conflict.

•••

Chapter twenty-four! Hope you're still enjoying this. xx