Dear Diary,

I can't believe how close we are getting to Alex being born now. With only eight weeks until he's due, things are getting crazy now. Andrew and Nancy's baby daughter came a few weeks earlier than planned, she was born a couple of days ago on April 29th, 1987, and she is the most stunning little girl I've ever laid eyes on. I'm so proud to be her godfather, and I hope that the plans I have in future won't change my dynamic with her as she grows up. They decided to settle on the name Rosa, which truly suits her perfectly. I only hope Alex suits his name just as well.

The nursery is almost done now, and everything is nearly built or assembled ready. As soon as one project is over, it seems another starts. As a result, I've not been able to talk to my darling Levi half as much as I'd like. We call for a few minutes once or twice a week, at best. I feel guilty for it, but between working, baby prep, and balancing family life, I've not been left with much time to myself. On the bright side though — a further development has been made in recent weeks. The cowards who attacked us in Reading last year have finally been sent to prison. It isn't for a lifetime — which is a shame — but it keeps others safe from them, for a short while at least. It's a victory for Levi and myself.

I hope Levi doesn't get sick of me because of everything that's been going on, though. I'm so looking forward to being with him for the rest of our lives, but until I've told Steph the truth about my sexuality, I can't do that. The only important people who don't know now, are my parents and her. I'm not going to make a big song and dance over coming out to every person I've ever met in my life ... but as long as close friends and family know, I'm happy to be myself. It's hard to find joy in my sexuality when it has only given me pain for such a long time — but I'm hoping that once the last handful of people are aware, I'll be able to go about my life and feel the joy and pride in who I am.

I'm still apprehensive about confiding in Steph about all of this, though — the last thing I want, is for her to forbid me from seeing my son. If it weren't for Alex, I think I'd have come clean about everything now. I'm frightened, but at the same time I'm so ready to move on with my life. If only I could move away without Steph knowing the truth ... in an ideal world, I suppose. But not this world.

I don't suppose I have anything else to add, really. So, until the next notable event occurs ...

Yog x

George concludes the entry, locking the book in case Stephanie should decide to enter the room; since Rosa was born, George's sham girlfriend has been even more hectic than ever. The pair have met the sweet little girl already, as Nancy and Andrew allowed visitors very briefly the day after she was born. Naturally, Nancy has been spending her time recovering, and trying to come to grips with being a new mother. This, of course, has raised many questions from Stephanie; in her desperation for any tips and tricks she can get before her own baby arrives.

"George?" Stephanie calls from the living room.

"Yeah?" George, almost in a trance-like state since writing his innermost thoughts down, is now sat cross-legged in the nursery, sifting through the toy box; he is passing time by looking at everything the pair have purchased in anticipation of their little one's arrival. He grabs hold of various baby-safe plush toys, rattling them or squeezing them to find out their main functions out of curiosity. He smiles mellowly to himself as he neatly places them on the floor around him; before reaching for something else to discover. The only interruption to his innocent exploration, is the sight of Stephanie out of the corner of his eye. "You okay, Steph?"

"I thought now would be a good time to give you something," she says lowly, taking small steps into the room. "I bought it when I first found out I was pregnant, but I've kept hold of it so I could give it to you when he's nearly here."

"What is it?" George inquires, setting down the teddy he has in his hand and standing up.

"It's just a little something," she answers, finally facing opposite him with her hands behind her back. "I just wanted to get you feeling a little more excited, I guess. A little more ... in the baby mood."

"Well, now I'm curious," George chuckles, playfully trying to peep behind her back to see what it is. "Come on, show me."

"Alright." She laughs quietly, before bringing her arms out in front of her. "Here. I hope you like it."

George glances down at the object in her hands; it is a personalised snow globe, with a blue base. Upon the base, are the words, 'I love you, Daddy' in a cute, child-like scrawled typography. Inside the transparent dome, George finds one of the ultrasound scan photographs; the sparkly flecks of 'snow' are already flurrying around the image, like a gorgeous winter storm. His eyes fill with tears, as the reality of what is soon to come hits him; simultaneously, a beam spreads across his lips. "I can't believe this is really happening, you know."

"Do you like it?" Stephanie asks, hopefulness in her expression. "I know it's not anything useful or practical, but I thought it was sweet."

"I love it," George replies, his voice delicate due to his emotions taking over. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, babe." Stephanie becomes overwhelmed too, such with her hormones being at an all-time high. "Stop crying; you're going to make me cry, you daft bugger."

"Who says it's wrong to cry?" George teases, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. "We're going to be parents in two months. Who's blaming us for being emotional about it?"

"Good point," Steph evaluates, her voice shuddering because she isn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the moment the pair are sharing. "It's just ridiculous, how much our lives are about to change."

George nods in agreement; however, the ideas he holds for the future drastically differ from those Stephanie holds.

• • •

"It's been four days," Levi comments matter-of-factly to his mother, as he drums his fingers against the arm of the sofa. "I knew it would happen again. Am I still doing the right thing, being patient with him, Mum?"

Penny takes a sip of her coffee, resting the mug between both her hands. "I know it's difficult, sweetheart. But his girlfriend is so close to giving birth now; she's only a few weeks away. George is probably going to be busier than ever. What did you guys say to each other, the last time you spoke?"

"He told me ... he'd come and see me at least once or twice before the baby came," Levi explains, racking his brain to recall the conversation. "Um, he said that the nursery for the baby was almost finished. Stephanie was crying all the time both from happiness and sadness. And then he briefly mentioned that Nancy — his best friend's wife — was starting to feel labour pains already. So, I assume she's given birth now. Or, it was a false alarm."

"Oh yes; I remember Nancy. She's the one who accidentally found out about you and George, isn't she?"

"Yeah ... on hers and Andrew's wedding day. Not my finest moment, I must admit." Levi chuckles a little at the memory. "She overheard Andrew and George talking about me. But Andrew and George were only talking about me, because Andrew caught ... " His voice trails off a little, as he realises this may be slightly too humiliating to tell his mother.

"He caught what?" Penny presses, curiously. "You can't leave me with that. I'm invested, now."

"Andrew caught George and I in the bathrooms," Levi elaborates, shyness causing his cheeks to flush pink. "We weren't doing anything unfortunate, luckily. But ... it was awkward enough with what we were doing."

"Honestly — what are you two like?" Penny asks rhetorically. "You can't tell me that boy isn't in love with you, if he's willing to risk people catching him in some public toilets with you."

"I suppose." Levi finds amusement in his mother's outlook on the situation, particularly because it reminds him of why he fell for George in the first place. "You're right. George has risked a lot for me this past six or seven months, or so. I think he loves me," he continues, "I'm just not sure whether the fear overrides that love."

"His girlfriend still doesn't have a clue about him being gay, does she?" Penny interrogates softly.

"Not even slightly. I've been at war with myself for a while about it, now. I just can't tell when enough is enough. Am I waiting, just to be hurt, Mum?"

"You know what I would do?" Penny suggests. "I would give him until the end of next month. You told me his birthday is next month, right?"

"Yes. The twenty-fifth of June," Levi answers. "It'll be his twenty-fourth birthday. And his son is due a couple of weeks after that."

"When did he say he'd tell his girlfriend the truth?"

"He said it would happen before the baby is born. At least a couple of weeks before; so that he could arrange visitation with Stephanie before she even goes into labour. And she's due ... late June; early July I think," Levi informs her. "So really, I'd have to give him until a few days before his birthday, to tell her everything."

"You need to set these boundaries with him, sweetheart," Penny tells him. "Make it clear to him, that you don't want to force him to come out — but that he at least needs to break up with her before his birthday. Even if he doesn't tell her he's gay, he needs to tell her it's over. For your sake, as well as hers."

"I'm glad you have the logical brain in this family," Levi compliments, his playfulness sounding more sarcastic. "Because my head is so full from all of this, that I wouldn't have known what to do and when."

"That's why I'm here," Penny chuckles, placing her mug down on the coffee table; and ruffling Levi's ebony locks of hair with her fingers. "I'll always be here to help you out of situations."

"Thank you," Levi mutters, in gratitude. "I don't really know where I'd be without you. I'll try to call George now. I'm not really expecting an answer, but at least if he does ... maybe I can tell him what the deal is."

"Good boy." Penny rises from her seat, taking her cup with her to the kitchen. "I'm going to wash my mug, and then I'll go upstairs so that I'm out of earshot when you try to call him. Let me know how it goes, if he answers."

"I will," Levi assures her, his gaze following his mother as she leaves the room. He expels air from his mouth sharply, as a substitute for a sigh; then, he forces himself up off the sofa to head into the hallway. His eyes meet the telephone in front of him; just looking at it gives him a sense of dread that he never used to experience before making calls to his lover. He picks up the phone, dialling the familiar number slowly; almost as if building himself up for disappointment. His hand raises, bringing the phone to his ear, as it rings a few times. His expectation is confirmed, when George doesn't pick up.

"Hi, this is George and Stephanie's phone. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can." George's lively voice on the pre-recorded voicemail message is enough to drive Levi to insanity; normally, he wouldn't speak after the tone, but this time, he does.

"You don't know how much I hate that answerphone." He speaks with little emphasis in his voice. "It's Levi. Just calling to check in on you ... mate. Hope Stephanie is doing okay too. Give me a call when you're free."

He places the phone down, dissatisfied with the message he left; he'd much rather have addressed George as the partner he should be, instead of pretending as if their relationship is purely platonic. Alas, he can't risk saying anything too intimate over the phone — just in case Stephanie is the one to pick up the message later on.

George and Stephanie stand in the hallway of their home, listening as the telephone goes to voicemail; they've been hard at work with assembling the pram they've bought for Alexander. When the phone rang just now, both of them missed it due to a solitary pesky screw not inserting in the place they intended it to. By the time they both arrived at the phone, it was too late to take the call.

"You don't know how much I hate that answerphone. It's Levi. Just calling to check in on you ... mate. Hope Stephanie is doing okay too. Give me a call when you're free."

"When was the last time you spoke to Levi?" Stephanie asks George, wiping a few droplets of sweat from her forehead. "He seems rather desperate to talk to you, doesn't he?"

"Probably just wants a catch-up," George dismisses, despite feeling guilty internally. "I'll call him tomorrow, or something."

"Fair enough." Stephanie makes her way back into the nursery, where the pram is still poised, ready to be completed.

George stays where he is for a moment more, remorse in his heart for how little he is talking to his beloved Levi as of late. He decides that he will, in fact, call Levi tomorrow; with this keeping his mind at rest for the time being, he too re-enters the nursery, to help Stephanie with the project they're in the middle of.

• • •

Chapter forty-eight! Anybody catch the Battlestations reference I threw in? xx