There is only one feeling worse than remorse — and that is regret; for remorse is to feel sorry for something one has done wrong, while regret is to feel sorry for something one wishes they had done right. As George spots the 'Welcome to Goring' signage out his car window, he has the displeasure of experiencing both of these terrible feelings. The pit of his stomach feels weak; he hasn't eaten since yesterday due to a lack of appetite. The second he woke up, he made quick work of getting himself ready and dressed, so that he can try to make amends with Levi. The familiar house soon comes into view; the nerves mingle nastily with the lack of appetite to make George feel a horrible sickness that he cannot shake off. Slowly, he gets out of his car, approaching the front door of Levi's house. With three consecutive knocks to the door, he steps back to await his destiny.

Penny answers the door, opening it to see the young man before her. "Oh. Hi, George. We weren't expecting you today."

"No; you were expecting me last night," George corrects sarcastically, the jibe aimed more at his own foolishness. "May I come in and speak to Levi, please?"

"I'll call him down. He's not left his room since the early hours of this morning." She furrows her brows sadly at this fact. "He's been in bits, sweetheart. I hope whatever you want to say will make things better."

"I hope so too." George's expression is a mix of hopefulness, and a tinge of weariness. He stands and waits as Penny heads up the stairs, to summon Levi for him; a minute or two later, she returns, with Levi trudging down the steps not far behind her.

"What do you want, George?" Levi asks monotonously when he sees the Greek. "Make it quick. I have stuff to be doing with my newfound freedom."

"Like moping around in your room, feeling sorry for yourself?" George raises an eyebrow. "I want to talk to you seriously, Levi. Please just hear me out."

"I'll give you five minutes," Levi states bluntly, turning around to walk towards the living room. George follows him in, closing the front door as he goes. Once they're settled on the sofa, Levi speaks again. "So, what excuses do you have lined up for this, then?"

"I'm so sorry," George apologises, at first not acknowledging Levi's question. "I-I forgot what day it was. Stephanie was struggling to get to sleep; and that kind of distracted me, because I didn't like the fact that she was uncomfortable when she's carrying my son. And so we went downstairs to watch a film on the television; and then by the time it was over, it was past midnight. I only realised what day it was after a news report came on, and—"

"—So, how long did it take for you to come up with all of that?" Levi snaps. "Because I'll give you credit where it's due; it's a very elaborate story."

"I didn't make it up, Levi." George knits his eyebrows together, frustrated that such a genuine story could even be considered false. "She didn't sleep until about three in the morning. And even then, it was scattered. She's been so uncomfortable. I was making sure she was alright. Forgive me for wanting the mother of my child to be okay."

"Okay, so maybe the story is true." Levi shrugs, as if this isn't even the main focus of the discussion. "Why didn't you come outside when you realised what the time was?"

"I did," George frowns. "I ran outside and saw that your car was already driving away. I couldn't have caught you. There was no chance in hell I could have caught you."

"Alright." Levi is unsure of what else there is to say, so he doesn't utter another word.

"I'm so sorry," George repeats, a delicate breaking in his softened voice. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. For making you feel as though I chose my needs before your own. I promise ... things will change."

"They'll change?" Levi is apprehensive about this vow.

"I swear it," George continues on. "I'll do my best to put you first, no matter what I do. You are everything to me, Levi. I hate the fact I've made you feel as though you aren't good enough for me."

"Well let's face it, George." Levi laughs, in a bid to self-deprecate. "I'm not good enough, am I? You could have anybody in the world if you wanted. How could you settle for a boy like me, huh? What do I even bring to the table, here?"

"You made me feel safe when nobody else ever did," George answers poignantly, bowing his head a little. "You were the first person I ever came out to. You were the first person who knew me, for who I really am. I opened my heart to become vulnerable to you, and only you. Do you think I'd do that for somebody I didn't love?"

"I don't know, George. You seemed to have a good go of becoming vulnerable to Stephanie. She didn't end up pregnant by herself."

"Is that what you think of me, really?" George's perfectly-arched brows contort in anger at this insulting statement. "It's not as if I ever wanted to do that, is it? Just because I'm looking forward to having a child; doesn't mean I want to put my life on hold in every other aspect."

"So, how much have you told her?" Levi interrogates. "How much does she know about you?"

"I—" George is confused as to why Levi would ask. "She doesn't know anything yet. Everything is as usual with her, still. I haven't told her yet."

At this response, Levi can't help but cackle; he should have expected this would be George's answer. "Of course she doesn't know anything," he jeers. "Because Mr Panayiotou would rather play happy families with a girl he doesn't love; than have a truly happy family with the man he claims to love."

"That's not true," George retorts defensively. "You know that I want to tell her everything. I want to more than you'd ever realise. Did you expect me to sit and have a deep conversation about it at four in the morning? My first priority when I woke up today, was to come straight here and make things right. And I intend to."

"Oh?" Levi feigns genuine interest, before allowing it to shatter all at once. "So, when was time travel invented then?"

"You know, your humour is a lot better when you're not in a bad mood," George snipes, in an attempt to make the atmosphere a touch more lighthearted; this backfires, when Levi fails to respond. "All I can do is apologise, and give you my word that Stephanie will know everything."

"That's your feeble attempt, is it?" Levi scoffs, almost looking amused. "Just more empty promises that you don't intend to keep?"

"I had one more promise I intend to keep," George murmurs bashfully. "And I know it's probably not the best time, but I want to lay all my cards out on the table because then you'll know I'm serious about you."

"What's this?" Levi asks rhetorically. "Are you going to get on your knees and beg me to forgive you?"

"Not quite," George replies, trying his best to hide his anxiousness by giving quiet laughter here and there. "I know that right now, the law says that you and I can never be seen as a legitimate partnership. But that doesn't mean it won't change in the future, so who's to say we can't plan ahead right now?"

"What do you mean, George?" Levi's eyes follow George's motion, as he bends down onto one knee. "George, no—"

"You don't think I'm serious about you," George reminds him. "So surely if anything will prove I am, this is it." He swallows nervously, glancing up at Levi. "I know things are hard—"

"George—"

"—And I know that I still have to get my shit together with Stephanie before I can even think fully about the future—"

"Don't—"

"—But I've promised you that she will find out everything, so if that's not enough, then maybe—"

"Please—"

"—This may be the reassurance you need, that I'm not going anywhere; and I mean it."

"George ... "

"Levi." George inhales deeply, bracing himself. "I know we can't yet, but when we can ... will you marry me?" He motions with his hands awkwardly. "I don't have a ring, because I didn't really anticipate this outcome. But that can be sorted."

"You won't need a ring," Levi assures him. "I'm not going to marry you, George."

By now, George is truly humiliated; he stands up from his knelt-down position, burying his head into his hands. "Why not?"

"Because I don't believe you." A saddened expression forms on Levi's face, which he makes no attempt at hiding. "I don't believe that you will ever tell her the truth."

"But think about how many people I've already told," George demands, desperately. "I've started taking the steps I need to take, and I'll get there eventually. You didn't think I'd ever tell anybody. I didn't think I'd ever tell anybody. But I have. Isn't that something to be proud of me, for?"

"Of course it is. And you should be so proud." Levi grabs George's face in both hands, to show his sincerity. "You've come so far, and you should always be proud of that. But the issue is, George ... you didn't tell the right person."

"But I'm getting there," George mutters. "And you know that. It feels like you're trying to find other reasons to say no. Is it because you no longer love me?"

"I love you; of course I still love you." Tears fill his moss green eyes, so he widens them to prevent them from falling down his face. "But I guess now, it's time to let you be."

"No, please Levi," George desperately pleads, his voice giving out to the emotional turmoil. He grabs Levi by both arms; a sad attempt at keeping him in place. "Please don't leave me. I love you. I love you, so much."

"The love isn't enough," Levi snaps back, snatching his arms away from his lover's grasp. "There needs to be commitment, too. And you're still committed to Stephanie, even after all this time. Perhaps if you'd have told her everything, that commitment could have been made to me."

"Please don't do this, Levi. Please." George's face is flushed; a terrible mix of sadness, heartbreak and humiliation evident in his expression. "Don't make all we've been through, meaningless."

"Heaven knows we sure had some fun." Levi's pain is briefly masked with a hopeless chuckle; revealing a quivering grin. "What a kick it was. I hope she makes you happy, my darling."

"But she won't. You know she won't!" George becomes frantic; he tries to bring Levi towards him; he tries to touch his fingers to Levi's face; he tries to reason with him — but he is met with coldness. "Why don't you believe me?"

By this point, Levi is sick and tired of the conversation touching upon old ground; he stands up, which encourages George to do the same. He makes sure their eyes are connected, before voicing his last request. "Go back to London, George. Go home, and be happy with the girl you never wanted to be with. And please, don't give me any more heartache than you've already caused."

"But Levi—"

"I said, go." Finally, Levi gives in, allowing the large droplets to tumble down his cheeks. "You made your choice and you've stuck with it."

In silence, George nods, knowing that there is no longer anything he can do to change Levi's mind. He leaves the room without a sound; the only indication that he's left the house, is the noise that comes from the front door as he shuts it behind him. The moment that Levi realises he's alone, he falls back onto the sofa, audibly crying out in a combination of anger, devastation and of loss. He sits by himself, contemplating through his loud sobbing, whether he made the right choice. The only thing that interrupts his fierce debating, is the soothing voice of his mother.

"What just happened, honey?"

"I gave up fighting, Mum," Levi just about manages to choke out. "Because he never even began."

"I'm so sorry," Penny whispers, coiling her arms around his shoulders. "I really wanted you boys to be forever."

"So did I," Levi sniffles, trying to calm down his crying unsuccessfully. "But forever is how long I'd have been waiting for him to confess to Steph."

"But it hurts, doesn't it?" Penny asks him. "It hurts, letting go."

"I'm hurt, and I'm angry." He shakes his head in intense disapproval of the situation. "I gave him so much. We both gave one another so much. But the point is, he knew what would happen if he went against what I asked of him. And you know what? He still did it, didn't he?" He tucks his hand in his pocket, withdrawing to reveal a petite, navy blue box. "He still fucking chose to hurt both of us. I loved him Mum. I really loved him."

"And you still do. That's why it stings so much."

"Of course I still love him!" Levi shouts, speedily opening the box; he pulls out the silver engagement ring from inside it, aggressively throwing it to the floor in rage. "And I wish with all my heart that I didn't still love him; because I really wanted to give him that happily ever after, and now I can't!"

Penny notices the little piece of jewellery on the ground, and quickly realises what Levi was planning to do, had things have gone better. "Oh, sweetheart. I'm so heartbroken for you." She brings him into her chest, rocking gently as he continues his emotional outpouring in vain.

As George drives home, he cannot rid the agonising humiliation he has subjected himself to; nor the sheer pain that burdens him. He wishes, more than anything, that things had gone in precisely the opposite direction than they unfortunately did. If one can feel physical pain from such an earth-shattering turn of events, then George is certain he is experiencing it; for his body feels limp, and his limbs are aching. Nothing looks the same for the troubled soul, now; the world — once vibrant and full of joy — suddenly seems a lot dimmer.

The only saving grace he has now, is his unborn son. But without Levi in his life, he struggles to imagine a future where he is one-hundred percent content ever again.

• • •

Such a sad situation! Are you team George or team Levi? xx