On Saturday morning, Carter had changed her mind again, because that had turned into a habit of hers, and decided that she wouldn't go to Georgie's lakehouse. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to stay home and wallow, but what choice did she have? She needed to distance herself from that world, to go to school on Monday a changed woman. A better person. Someone who wasn't ever going to let anyone else pry their way into her life. Someone who would never attempt to alter her personality to prove a silly point.

Anyone could be popular. Anyone who displayed an ounce of genuine confidence could command a school. If she ever wrote a book about her little adventure, she would stress that fact obsessively. It wasn't like in the movies, where the girl had to go through some ridiculous, unrecognizable make-over only to become visible to the world.

So what now? Should she pretend like none of it had happened?

She wasn't sure if she wanted to stop being friends with Georgie and Elena. For some strange reason, they didn't seem to mind that she had used them. They liked her, and she liked them, so why should she push them out of her life? Still, staying home was a good mental break from everything. Maybe on Monday she would attempt to fasten a permanent friendship with them.

When Leigh called her around noon, begging her to go, asking her why she had turned into such a useless lump lately, she managed to talk her way out of it. Convinced Leigh to go by herself. If anyone deserved to be a part of a crowd, to be caught up in some good times, it was Leigh.

Now if only she could figure out what to do about Kiran, her high school life would finally be on the right track again. Why the hell hadn't he called her? Would they ever talk again? If so, would they ever be able to go through a day without attempting to rip each other's hearts out? When Sunday afternoon rolled around, she was about ready to cave and go to his house. Demand an explanation. Then either kiss him furiously or vow to never see him again.

She didn't actually believe that he had slept with Ashton Rhodes. Leigh was probably right; maybe there was a very reasonable explanation behind that incriminating photo. There was every chance he was ambushed, or something. Ashton could've caught him by surprise, then ordered Melody Anders to snap the picture. He was a guy, and guys don't normally push off gorgeous girls in such situations, even if they don't particularly like them.

Of course, if Kiran had decided to completely cut Carter out of his life, then none of it would even matter.

When she stepped into the hallways of Newton High on Monday, she prayed that wasn't the case.

"You!" someone called as she had made her way to her locker.

"Me?"

"Why didn't you come on Saturday?" Georgie asked. "Kiran showed up. Did you two have a fight or something?"

So Kiran had time to go to a lakehouse, but couldn't be bothered to call her. "No," she lied. The last thing she wanted was for her business to spread around the school again.

"I think he thought you'd be there or something, because he kept asking where you were."

"Well, he could've picked up the phone and called me, couldn't he? Then he would've known for sure," Carter spat, then regretted it, since it pretty much confirmed that they weren't on the best of terms at the moment.

"So I'm guessing if I asked you two to come out with me and Seth this Friday, you'd say no."

"You guessed right. And I would love it if you stopped talking about him."

"Fine, whatever. So anyway, your friend Leigh's pretty cool. She came by on Saturday. Stayed the night. You two wanna go to the field with us for lunch? Elena's having someone bring over some sushi. Don't worry, it'll only be us four." Georgie wasn't one to talk a subject to the ground. Her nonchalant attitude towards everything was refreshing, something Carter could definitely get used to. Something needed.

"Sure, we'll come find you then." Now that that's out of the way, I gotta find Kiran and ask him to explain himself, she thought, for once a little positive. A little less anxious. Maybe somewhat elated. Feeling genuinely accepted, knowing she didn't have some sort of hidden agenda behind all of it, was lifting her higher than any fake Queen Bee status ever could.

"Oh, and watch out for Sterling and Dawn. I saw them stalking your locker earlier. I doubt they have the brains to pull off anything serious, but just in case. Anyway, I'll see you later." Georgie walked off without any further explanation.

And just like that, the natural high was gone, to be replaced by that familiar anxiety. Carter yanked open her locker and began ruffling through it, pulling out one book after the other and letting them drop to the floor, until she was certain there was nothing there.

"Redecorating?" Leigh asked as she walked up to Carter.

"No. I was... looking for something. So how was the lakehouse?"

"Fun, and you're a complete loser for not coming. There weren't that many people there, so it was pretty chill. And guess what, I think Georgie and Elena like me. And... Kiran was there."

"So I've heard," Carter hissed. She then stuffed her things back into her locker and slammed the door shut.

They began walking down the noisy hallway, though Carter's eyes remained unfocused, like all the students surrounding them were nothing but unyielding, distant pillars. Like the entire setting was only a blurry dream and she was hovering through it absentmindedly. Maybe she could will herself to someplace where Kiran wasn't the core of her current problems.

"He didn't look too happy. Carter, I really think you need to find him and talk to him."

"He can come find me if he wants to. I'm not going to chase him."

"But he kept asking about you-"

"Stop it Leigh. I don't want to talk about him. Can we please move on? There's more going on in my life, and I feel like all we've been talking about lately is Kiran. I don't want to be that girl, the one who can't ever do anything else, or talk about anything else besides who she's with or what party she's going to next."

Leigh became silent, and Carter hoped that it was all sinking in, that Leigh would let it go. That tomorrow they would be consumed with school projects and Leigh's latest fashion creation. 

"Leigh, I'm sorry. I wanna start fresh. Start next semester without any baggage. I hate what I've turned into."

"You know, when you're young, everything is a huge deal. Every little thing that happens, it's like the world ended."

"That sounds familiar."

"I'm sure it's been mentioned in every teen movie ever," Leigh said with a smile. "And you haven't turned into anything. You're still the same stubborn, woe-is-me girl you were before."

"Wow, thanks."

"I mean that in the best way possible."

"I know."

~

There he was, the boy who had turned her life upside-down. The one who had always been there, but she hadn't really seen him until now. Standing before her with his hands in his pockets, his head tilted slightly, his eyes locked on hers, as if she was all he could see.

Once again she had sought refuge in the library, in the very last aisle. It had become somewhat of a second home to her, a place for her to reflect, to study, to sink into her own thoughts without being interrupted by the usual high school expectations and standard buzz. Once again, Kiran had found her. Somewhere beneath all the valid anger and hesitation, she was thrilled to see him, but she masked that thrill as best as she could.

"What do you want, Kiran?"

"I need to talk to you-"

"And you couldn't've called over the weekend? Where were you last week anyway?"

"New York."

"Oh... " her voice trailed off. His face hinted at something else, something sad maybe.

"My sister, she... she's in the hospital. That's why my parents went. When you came over that night, they had just called me. I had to fly out Thursday morning so I could be with her for a couple of days. My parents are going to stay until she fully recovers."

Suddenly she was ashamed. Embarrassed for thinking she had been the only source of Kiran's issues. For believing that she had a right to be fuming, without even bothering to hear an explanation. For here she was, constantly obsessing over trivial crap, when reality was beating the life out of Kiran.

She got up and hugged him, let her body sink into his, felt his warmth and his tremble. He hugged her back and for the next few minutes they just stood there. She wanted to ask questions, to understand what his sister's condition was, but she thought it best to wait - to have him tell her whenever he was ready. All she could do now was be there for him.

"I'm sorry," he spoke softly.

She moved back a bit so that they were facing one another, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too."

"And about Ashton Rhodes... it happened at school, the morning after I left your house that one time, after Leigh showed up. The girl came at me and probably had her friend Melody take the photo. I should've told you."

"It's okay, really. We weren't even together then."

"Yeah but we're together now. I gave her a way to screw with you."

"Kiran, I promise you, it's fine."